Boarding with Friends

by Jonathan Perkins

Chapter 5

Mike lowered the camera and couldn't see Fred. Panic set in as he ran down the hill, hollering out for Fred as he went. He reached the edge of the washout and looked down to the other side. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Fred laying halfway down the embankment, not moving. He called out but got no answer. He slid down the bank in front of him and waded across the stream, scurrying up the other side to get to Fred. His head was sitting at an unnatural angle to the rest of his body. Calling out to him to wake up, Mike checked for a pulse but found none. His worst fear was confirmed . . . Fred has died trying to make the jump. He had landed head first, breaking his neck on impact. Tears began to flow down Mike's face, screaming over and over, "No, no, no!"

A car passing over the temporary bridge saw the boys and stopped to check on them. When Mike told them Fred wasn't moving, the driver sped off to go get help. (This was in the days before cell phones.) Billy was left holding Fred's lifeless body, hugging him and crying. He saw an envelope sticking out of his shirt pocket with Lance's name on it. He wasn't sure what it was but he figured he would take it and make sure it got to Lance. He put the good picture in the envelope that he had taken of Fred getting ready to go down the hill then he put the envelope in his pocket. He put his arm back around Fred's body.

The normally quiet of a Saturday morning was broken by the sounds of multiple sirens as a police car and an ambulance rushed to the washout. The paramedics declared Fred dead and helped Mike back up the embankment. The policeman radioed for backup to deal with the situation as more and more cars were pulling over to see what was happening. One of the deivers was a parent of a classmate of Mike and recognized him sitting in the back of the police cruiser then saw the lifeless body on the embankment. He approached the police officer that he knew and was told what had happened. Being a small town, the phones were ringing all over town in no time, calls made to friends and classmates with information about Fred. Lance answered the phone at his house.

"Lance, have you heard anything about Fred having an accident of some sort?" Billy asked frantically.

"I got a call from Rachel and she said he was hurt but she didn't have any details. She thought something happened at the washout."

"That's what I heard. My dad is going to give me a ride down there right now. W can swing by and pick you up.'

"Thanks, Billy. I'll be out front waiting."

When they arrived at the washout the ambulance had already left. A police car was just leaving with Mike in the backseat. Lance spotted him and waved but Mike had his head down and wasn't paying attention to anything.

"That was Mike in the cruiser. He must have something to do with what happened," Lance told Billy.

They parked and got out of the car. There was a crowd starting to gather but a policeman kept them from getting too close. Billy's dad saw a policeman he knew and went up to him to ask what happened. He came back to the boys and told them what he was told.

"Peter told me that a young man had died trying to jump the washout. He wouldn't tell me his name but I think we know who it was."

"No, that isn't what happened. Fred didn't die. It couldn't have been him," Lance began to babble with a quiver in his voice. "We have to go and talk to Mike. He can tell us what really happened."

Billy's dad went back to talk to the policeman again to ask him where they took Mike. He had been taken to the police station to get his statement and then they were taking him home.

"Let's go wait for him at his house. He can't be long." Lance begged Billy's dad to hurry.

They drove to Mike's house and waited just down the road. After an hour they were about to leave when a police car drove up and Mike got out. Lance and Billy got out of the truck and walked towards Mike. Mike saw them and came running to meet them.

"What the hell happened? Is Fred okay?" Lance asked before Mike could speak.

"No, he's dead," Mike said softly then broke down in tears.

All three hugged one another as uncontrollable sobbing consumed them all.

Finally, Billy spoke up.

"What happened? He didn't try the jump again, did he?"

"Yes, He wanted to show Lance that he was as good as you and could make the jump even better than you did."

"Why didn't you stop him?" Lance asked.

:"He made me come along to take pictures to prove to everyone he actually made the jump. I didn't want him to try it but there was no way I was going to talk him out of it. He had his mind made up."

"So what happened, did he fall short again?"

Mike explained the morning sun glare got in his eyes and threw off his take off. It was over before he could do anything about it.

"I feel like this is all my fault. I should have found a way to stop him. Or tell someone about his plans. If I had done something he would be alive."

"No, Mike, It's my fault for not paying more attention to Fred. For the most part I was ignoring him except to harass him and tease him. I didn't know he took it all so seriously," Lance offered.

"It's my fault for making that stupid jump in the first place. I thought I was going to do it with no one around but you all showed up to watch and things got totally out of hand when I made it over. I never should have done it," Billy added.

"I still don't understand what he had to prove. It didn't make his any less of a man. Hell, he was an animal on the football field, a better player than any of us could ever be," Lance said trying to figure out Fred's motivation for attempting the jump.

"Who knows what was going through his mind. Hey, guys, I have to go in and talk with my parents. The police took my statement about the accident. They called my parents and said they'd drop me off, They must be worried sick about me."

Mike and the boys had a group hug. Just before he turned to go to his house, Mike gave Lance the envelope he took from Fred's body. He didn't say anything, he just tucked the envelope into Lance's shirt pocket. Mike's parents had come out of the house and were waiting on the front steps for him. His mother put her arm around his shoulder and ushered him into the house. His father gave a little wave to the boys and Billy's dad then followed Mike into the house.

"I'll give you boys a ride home. Mike is going to need some time with his parents but he will also need a lot of support from you two."

"We will, dad. Lance, do you want to come over to my house for a while?"

"No, I think I'm going down to the skate board park and just sit for a while. I'm still trying to figure out what was in Fred's head."

"I'll go with you. Can you drop us off there, dad?"

"Okay. If you need to talk to an adult, your mother and I are always available. As I'm sure your folks are as well, Lance."

Lance just smiled and nodded his head, not wanting to explain his parents lack of interest in anything in his life.

"Thank you, Mr. Murdock. It's going to take some time to process this."

Lance and Billy got out of the truck at the park and went and sat on one of the benches. One by one other friends and classmates of Fred's began to show up. Some of the girls brought flowers, one of the football players brought his jersey, other's just brought themselves. They sat in silence for a while then one by one they told they favorite story or remembrance of Fred. This went on for hours. By noontime the crowd had grown to almost a hundred kids. Billy's dad had stopped a short ways away from the park and saw the crowd. He knew they wouldn't be as hungry as usual but he felt they needed to eat. He went back to town and picked up a dozen pizzas and some bottles of soda. He returned and pulled up next to the park entrance.

"Come, eat something. You can't grieve on an empty stomach. Just be sure and clean up when you're finished."

He unloaded the food and gave Billy a hug.

"Anything else I can do for you?" he asked.

"No, dad. Thanks for everything."

He drove off to let everyone eat without him hovering over them.

"You're the luckiest bastard on the whole fucking world, Billy. You know that don't you?" Lance spoke as everyone was thanking Billy for his dad's generosity.

"I know. I have awesome parents and I have a fantastic lo...," stopping in mid word not wanting to say lover in front of everyone, " friend, a fantastic friend."

The two smiled at each other, the first time they had smiled all morning.

Slowly the group left the park, one by the one, during the course of the afternoon. Rachel was one of the last one to leave.

"Lance, I have to get going. Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

"How can I be okay when one of my closest friends has died?"

"I know, it sucks, but you're strong enough to get through this." She looked at Billy, "Take could care of him, will you?"

"Of course I will. He lost one of his best friends but he's never going to loose me," Billy said to Rachel.

Rachel gave Billy a hug then gave Lance a longer and tighter hug.

"You call me if you want to talk or if there is anything I can do." Rachel offered.

Lance looked at Rachel and smiled.

Finally only Billy and Fred were left. It was late in the day and both boys decided there was nothing they could do by staying here any longer.

"Fred, you dumb bastard, I hope you rest in peace, where ever you end up," Lance said as he looked up towards the heavens.

"Do you want to come over to my house?" Billy asked.

"I'd like that but I better get home. I ran out of the house this morning and didn't tell anyone where I was going. I'm sure they have heard about Fred by now."

"Okay, call me later if you want."

The boys hugged. Looking around to make sure they were alone, they brought their lips together for a kiss.

Billy got home and his mom and dad were both there.

"Go upstairs and take a nap. Your dad and I will talk to you later after you have rested. It's been a trying day for everyone," his mom told him.

Lance walked into his house to his father, Jack, and drunken mother arguing.

"Where the hell have you been all day?" his father shouted at him.

"We were all down at the park to share our memories about Fred." Lance responded quietly.

"That's a waste of a whole day. What good did that do?"

"Dad! He was my friend, my best friend! And now he's dead!" Lance yelled.

"We all die so it's now big deal. Get over it and move on."

"What the fuck! If anyone was going to die, I wish it had been you instead of Fred!"

"Why you disrespectful little son of a bitch" Jack yelled and slapped Lance hard across the face, giving Lance a bloody lip.

"You leave him alone!" Lance's mother screamed.

"I'll teach him to talk to me like that," and raised his hand to slap him again.

Lance's mother reached out to grab his arm but he saw it coming and punched her in the face with his other hand. She fell to the floor, holding her eye. Lance dropped to her side to console her.

"Look at you. A pair of pathetic losers, on the floor where you belong," Jack hissed as he raised his hand again to strike out.

"You touch her again and I'm going to call the police and have your sorry ass thrown in jail!" Lance screamed.

"Ha! Go ahead and call them. Who do you think they'd believe it wasn't self defense, a drunk, a smart mouthed punk, or me, Jack Habershaw " Jack laughed. "I've had enough of this shit, I'm out of here."

Jack went out the door and Lance heard the tires squeal as he tore off down the road, presumably headed to his bimbo apartment. Lance helped his mother get to her feet.

"Oh Lance, you're bleeding," she said as she looked at his bloody lip.

"It's not a biggie. Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"I will be. I need a drink."

"No you don't, mother, you've already had enough for today."

"Now don't you start talking back to me too! I know when I've had enough!"

Lance's mother headed for the kitchen to get another glass of wine. Lance slumped down on the couch in the living room. His life was falling apart. His friend was dead, his father had slapped him and punched his mother, and he couldn't publicly proclaim his feelings for the love of his life. He sat and wept softly with his head in his hands. His mother walked by on her way to her bedroom.

"Go to bed. Tomorrow is another day," she admonished him with no sympathy or compassion.

Lance wanted to call Billy and ask if he could come over to Billy's house. He picked up the phone but then put it down. What would happen to his mother if his father came home? Would they fight some more, would it turn violent and physical like what he had just seen? He wanted to go to Billy's so bad but he didn't dare leave him mother alone. He went to his room and went to bed. He had a nightmare that every one he cared for was dying or being killed. Rachel, then Mike, then the rest of the crew and finally Billy. His mother and father were both laughing and keeping score on a chalk board they had set up in the living room. When Billy died, they both yelled in glee,

"They're all gone! All you have now is us!" They proceeded to take turns punching and slapping him.

Lance woke up and sat straight up in his bed. His sheets were soaked through with sweat and the rest of the blankets were all in a ball from his thrashing and rolling around. He looked at his clock and it was 2:00 in the morning.

Lance went and looked in his mother's room. She was sprawled across her bed, either sleeping or passed out from the alcohol she had consumed. His father's room was empty. He went down stairs and looked in the driveway and this father's car wasn't there. He went to the refrigerator to get a drink. He got a chill when the cold air from the open door hit him. He was still covered in sweat but he was also naked. He shrugged his shoulders and realized there was no one in the house who would care if he was naked or not. He went back up stairs and took a shower to get rid of the sweat and try and wash the nightmare out of his mind. After his shower he went down stairs to sleep on the couch, his bed still damp with the sweat. He couldn't get back to sleep, the nightmare rolling around in his mind. He got dressed and decided he was going to walk over to Billy's house. He wasn't sure what he was going to do when he got there. It was the middle of the night and he didn't dare wake up his parents. But he knew he had to be there.

It was a chilly fall night, a sky full of shining stars and a full moon. He looked up at the sky and thought how beautiful the sky looked.

"I hope one of the stars is you, Fred. Maybe you won after all. You're up there amongst all that beauty and I'm down here stuck with all this ugly. Maybe I should join you?"

Lance wasn't really considering suicide but he felt Fred was in a better place than he was right now.

He got to Billy's house and sat on the front steps. Then he went around back and looked up at Billy's window. Just one floor up was the comfort that Lance yearned for. He went into the garage and got one of the lawn chairs he had helped Billy put away for the winter. He brought it out and sat down staring at the window. He let out an audible sigh and remembered the first time he was in the hot tub with Billy and they jerked each other off. He was dozing off and waking up every few minutes. Once he woke up and saw a light on in Billy's room. His heart jumped and he jumped up, waving his arms frantically, whispering up towards the window.

"Billy, its Lance. Billy, come down and be with me. Billy, I need you, I really do."

The light only stayed on for a few minutes and then went out. Billy must have gotten up to go to the bathroom and then back to bed. He wasn't coming down to be with Lance.

Lance dozed off and didn't wake up until the sun had risen. Not knowing exactly what time it was, he scrambled to head home before he was discovered in the back yard. He got home and still no car in the driveway and his mother still asleep. Nothing had changed. He doubted anything ever would in his house. He got another cold drink and went to bed.

His mother woke him from a sound sleep the next morning.

"Lance, wake up. That kid is on the phone and wants to talk with you."

'That kid'? That could only be Billy. Lance jumped out of bed, not bothering to put any clothes on, and ran downstairs to answer the phone.

"Billy! Is it you?" Lance shouted into the phone.

"Yeah, its me. Are you okay, buddy?"

"I am now. It was a rough night, that's all. Its good to hear your voice."

"I was wondering if you want to come over. My mother is making a big breakfast before we go to church. She wanted me to call and invite you to eat with us. I think she just wanted to hear all the good bullshit you say about her cooking," Billy laughed.

"I can be there in 20 minutes. Would it be too much to ask if I came to church with you again?"

"I'd like that. I sure my folks would too."

Lance hung up, took the fastest shower he had even taken and got dressed. He popped his head into his mother's room to tell her he was going to Billy's. She just groaned and waved him off.

Lance wanted to run all the way to Billy's but he didn't want to get all sweaty and stink of body odor. Instead he walked as quick as he could. Billy was sitting on the steps waiting for Lance. Now Lance broke into a run and met Billy halfway down the front walk. He hugged him and then backed away.

"Sorry, I didn't want to get too carried away in public."

"No worries," Billy said. He put his hand on Lance's face and turned it sideways. "What happened to your lip?"

"Long story," Lance replied cryptically.

"We've got time. Breakfast won't be ready for at least an hour. Mom didn't think you'd get here so quick."

Lance gave Billy the highlights of the fight with his parents. He didn't tell Billy he had spent most of the night in his back yard.

"That's fucked up! Is there anything I can do?" Billy said as he held Lance's hand.

"You already have. Just being here with you is all I need."

"Let's go out back and we can talk."

The boys went through the house and told his mom to call them when breakfast was ready. The got to the back yard and Billy saw the lawn chair Lance had set out last night.

"What the hell is this doing out here?" Billy asked.

Lance's face turned red and he hung his head. In his haste to leave earlier this morning he didn't think to put the lawn chair back in the garage. Billy noticed Lance's reaction and looked at him.

"Have you got something to do with this being out here?"

Lance knew he had to tell Billy the truth. In the light of day, he was embarrassed that he was essentially stalking Billy.

"Shit, Lance, you should have called or knocked on the door."

"No way I was going to bother you in the middle of the night. Your parents would be bullshit."

"Well screw you!"

"What?" Lance asked in astonishment.

"You think what we have is so superficial that I would be mad that you needed me in the middle of the night? And you think my parents would be so uncaring as to be upset? Is that all you think of our relationship?"

Lance started to cry.

"I'm sorry, Billy. I know we have something special but it was the middle of the night and I wasn't thinking straight. Forgive me?"

"Only if you promise to never be a dumb ass again," Billy replied with a smile.

"I promise."

"My parents and I had a long talk last night about Fred and everything. He told me what a special gift our lives are. They can be wonderful one minute and snuffed out the next. So we have to live our lives to the fullest while we can."

"Sometimes easier said then done. I think I have a long way to go to get to the fullest."

"He told me when he and mom were married he had an opportunity to have a job driving long haul trucking going all across the country. He would be on the road for a minimum of three weeks out of every month. He and mom talked it over and he didn't want to be away from her for that long. She was pregnant with me and he wanted to be home every night to be a big part of our lives. He made enough money driving the recycling truck to buy a house, provide for the family and still be here for us. He said he never regrets his decision and I should make decisions I'll never regret."

"Are you trying to tell me you want to break up with me? If we ever we a couple," Lance lamented.

"There you go being a dumb ass again. No, I don't want to stop being what ever we are. I care for you too much. But I was thinking if maybe I should come out to my parents."

"Come out? You're finally admitting you're gay?"

"No, just that you and I are more than friends, we're lovers. But I don't want to out you if word gets around, if more people than my parents find out. I wanted to talk to you first."

"Thanks, I appreciate that. I don't mind if your parents know about us but I don't want anyone at school to know. They might have their suspicions right now but I'd rather not confirm them. If that's okay with you."

"Of course. It would only make life more difficult at school and there really is no up side to it. If my parents know then we could be more at ease around them."

"Sure, I get it. No way we can let on to my parents, though. My dad would have me castrated and send to some remote island to live in exile. He'd have you arrested on some old morals laws still on the books. He can't find out."

"Your mother already has an idea after she caught us in the hot tub together."

"You've got to understand my mother, Billy. Until noontime she is too hung over to comprehend anything going on around her. After two o'clock she's well on her way to being drunk and doesn't remember anything after that. So as long as we're careful between noon and two then we have no worries."

Billy nodded his head in agreement then stopped to think how miserable Lance's home life had to be.

"Maybe I won't say anything to my parents just yet then. We'll just play it cool." Not wanting to make his home life screwed up like Lance's.

"But if you told your parents then we could mess around here more often?" Lance' said with hope in his voice.

"I don't know about that. They'd probably be okay with us being together but I don't think they would go along with my bedroom being our own den of iniquity." Billy laughed

Mom called them for breakfast so the boys went in to eat, having revealed quite of bit to each other but not having come to any conclusions.

The spread of food was unbelievable. Eggs, pancakes, sausage, bacon, homefries, orange juice and coffee.

"If you keep feeding me like this, I'll have to start paying your food bill," Lance joked.

"This can be payment for you helping Billy clean the garage," Dad said with a smile.

Mom wanted to start the meal by saying Grace.

"May I, if you don't mind?" Lance asked. Billy's face contorted at the request while his parents smiled and readily agreed.

"I'm not used to this, but here goes,"

'Dear Lord, we thank you for thy bounty before us. I also want to thank you for bringing me to this loving and giving family. I owe you one.'

Mom and Dad stifled a giggle at his last line. They all said Amen and dug in. Lance had filled his plate when Dad leaned over and stabbed one of his sausages with his folk and dropped it on his own plate. Lance looked stunned.

"I told you breakfast was payment for helping Billy but I'm docking your pay. You forgot one of the lawn chairs in the back yard."

"I'm sorry, I'll be more thorough next time."

"I should hope so. Someone might wander into our back yard and sit in it half the night. That would be a cold and lonely place to sit," Dad smiled at Lance.

"Yes it would, sir, but it might be a damn sight better than the alternative."

Dad just nodded and dropped the subject. They both knew he had been busted. Billy didn't have a chance to tell him so he must have seen him out there. If he did, why did he just let him sit there all night? That didn't seem like Billy's father.

They cleaned up and headed off to church. The sermon touched on Fred's death in a delicate and compassionate manner. It talked about how unfair it was that a boy should die so young, not having grown up and experienced a full life.

"He had not experienced the joy of finding a true love so spend his life with," the preacher went on.

At that line, Lance took a hold of Billy's hand and squeezed it tightly. Billy's parents looked at the two of them holding hands and smiled to each other.

"So many lost opportunities that he didn't have a chance to grab a hold of and enjoy life's experiences."

That made up Billy's mind. He was going to talk to his parents when they got home.

On their way out, the preacher thanked everyone for attending his service. When he got to Billy and Lance, He shook their hands and reiterated what he had said in his sermon.

"Life is short, boys, make the best of it while you can. Work hard, play hard and love sincerely. Be honest with yourself and those around you."

Holy crap, Billy thought, does he know that Lance and he are lovers? Does his dad already know? Who the hell in this dinky town doesn't know?

They got back to the house and Billy said he'd like to talk to his Mom and Dad in the living room. Billy looked at Lance and nodded his head. Lance nodded back. They all went in the living room and his parents sat side by side on the couch. Lance and Billy sat in separate chairs across from them.

"So, what's on your mind, son?"

"Well, it's like this. Lance and I like each other," Billy began timidly.

"Yes, of course, we know," his Mom stated.

"Well, yes, but I mean we really like each other."

"Lance is a good friend to have," his Dad said, not making this conversation any easier.

"Really, really like each other," Billy said trying to get his point across to them.

:"Good friends always do," Mom agreed, looking at Dad and both of them smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Oh for Chris sake!" Billy raised his voice. Both his parents expressions went emotionless.

"I'm trying to tell you . . ."

"Tell us what?" Dad interrupted Billy in mid sentence.

Billy's frustration had reached a boiling point.

"Lance and I are lovers! We're more than friends, we're boy friends!" Billy yelled, took a deep breath and then slumped in his chair.

"Okay, but what was it you wanted to talk to us about?" Dad asked stone faced, completely ignoring Billy's announcement.

"That was it, Dad. Lance and I are lovers. Lance got up from his chair and came over and sat on the arm of Billy's chair and took his hand.

Mom stood up and walked over to the boys and grabbed them both in a double hug. Dad got up and came to shake their hands. He looked at Lance and said,

"Welcome to the family, son."

Lance jumped up and backed up a few feet and began to cry like a baby.

"This is so unfair! This just sucks dog shit! How can you be so calm about your son having a gay relationship with me. My family would have thrown me out in the street permanently, at the every least. This isn't fair at all!"

"Life is not fair, Lance. Not fair at all. But you have to take the good with the bad sometimes. For your sake and Billy's, I hope this is one of the good times. Mom and I had an idea that you and Billy were more than just school chums. We've gotten to know you a little and think you're a fine young man. If you and our son have a special relationship that makes you both happy, then we're happy as well. It might not last or it might. So like the sermon this morning, don't let this be a lost opportunity for some happiness, no matter how fleeting."

"I'm not gay, you know. I want to make that perfectly clear," Billy jumped in. "Lance is the only boy I want to be with, not every boy in our class."

"You might be gay, you might be bisexual or you might be straight and just experiencing you first case of puppy love."

"Are you call me a dog?" Lance asked in jest.

"Billy always wanted a dog, so if the shoe fits . . ." Mom snickered.

They all had a good laugh and sat back down.

"One thing I want you to know, Lance. Mom and I are here to support the two of you. If you ever have any questions or problems, you can come to us, no matter what."

"Thank you sir, I'll remember that."

"I noticed you had a fat lip this morning and a few cuts and scrapes. I assumed you had a fight with your father last night and that's why you ended up in our back yard."

Lance lowered his head and nodded.

"I saw you out there when I got up to go to the bathroom."

"Dad. If you saw him out there, why did you leave him out there? You should have asked him to come in," Billy said.

"I don't like to stick my nose in other peoples business. I assumed he needed some along time to sort out some things in his life right now. If he wanted to come in, I hope he knew he was welcome."

"Not at 2:00 in the morning," Lance told him.

"At 2:00 in the morning, at 2:00 in the afternoon or any damn time you need a place to be, to feel safe and wanted. I know you father can be difficult to deal with sometimes and your mother doesn't always get the big picture."

"You're being too polite, sir. My father is a total asshole and my mother is a roaring drunk." Lance said firmly.

"Be that as it may, however we describe them, Billy, Mom and myself are always here for you when you need a place to feel safe and loved."

Lance and Dad hugged as Lance spoke through his tears,

"Billy Murdock, I hate you! You have the most perfect family and my family sucks!" then he laughed.

Dad laughed,

"We're far from perfect, Lance, you find that out the more you're with us. But you're part of our family now so you're going to have to specify which family you're talking about when you insult one."

"Then will you adopt me so I can find out for myself whether you're perfect or not? That way there will be confusion which family I'm talking about."

Again, Billy and Dad just laughed.

Billy and Lance were headed up to Billy's room to catch their breath and relax. Dad told the boys he and Mom were going to visit her sister Arlene in Gladewater and wouldn't be back until suppertime.

The boys sat on the edge of the bed and didn't say anything. Billy lay back and looked up at Lance. Lance smiled and put his hand on Billy's thigh.

"I don't know what's wrong with me?" Lance asked.

"What do you mean? Nothing is wrong with you that I can see. Matter of fact, I'd say you're pretty damn okay."

"My father beat me up last night, my mother can't give a shit about me, one of my good friends died yesterday and right now I'm the happiest son of a bitch in the whole damn state of Texas!" Lance proclaimed.

Lance flopped down on Billy and kissed him with such passion like Billy had never seen before from him. Lance was climbing on top of him, putting his full weight on Billy and pulling him tight. It almost seemed like Lance was trying to mush them into one person.

"What are you trying to do, suffocate me?" Billy laughed when he broke the kiss.

"I just want as much of you as possible. Right now I can't get enough of you."

They continued to kiss and grope each other until Lance suggested that since they had the house to themselves until suppertime, they should get naked. Billy readily agreed and clothes were soon flying off them in a flash. Once naked they resumed kissing and grinding their stiff cocks against each other.

Lance stopped kissing and rolled to the side of Billy. He lay there without saying or doing anything.

"Are you okay, Lance?"

"Yes. No. Actually, I'm not sure. The sermon this morning, your dad's talk with you, it's all scary. We don't know what tomorrow will bring so how do we go forward knowing we might run into shit storm just waiting around the corner for us."

"It's like they said, make the best of what you have now and face tomorrow when it gets here."

"Tomorrow is here. Fred is dead, my parents are total losers, my whole life is a sham. So where do I go from here?"

"I'm not sure, but we're going to go there together," Billy smiled.

Lance turned his head to look at Billy. He smiled and reached out to touch him.

"You're the only good thing is my life right now and I'm so afraid of loosing you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Billy reiterated.

"We can't be sure of that. So can I ask you something special?"

"Anything, you know that."

"Will you make love to me?" Lance asked nervously.

"It would be my pleasure to suck your sweet cock."

"No, I mean take my virginity. No matter what comes next, I'll have that to cherish forever."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'm honored you want me to be your first, but I don't want you to make any rash decisions when you feeling the way you are."

"The way I'm feeling is that I'm so in love with you and if you don't take my cherry I swear I'll be chaste for the rest of my life," Lance looked serious.

"So I'm just a stiff cock to cure your current medical condition know as 'virginity'?"

"A stiff cock, a hot body, a cute face, an intoxicating smile and a personality that makes you the person I want to spent the rest of my life with. I want to give myself to you to seal the deal."

"That's a lot to ask. One roll in the hay and I'm committed for life? Sounds like a marriage proposal"

"You already said you weren't leaving my side. I'm just adding some incentive."

"I'll have to think about this. Okay, I've thought about it," Billy smiled giving Lance the answer he was hoping for.

The boys went back to kissing and fondling on another. Lance was running his fingers through Billy's black hair, messing up the part that Billy makes down the middle, his hair falling to both sides of his head. Billy had some black chest hair and a full bush of pubic hair. His dark hair was inherited from his father. Where his emerald green eyes came from is anyone's guess. Neither his dad nor his mom had green eyes His upper body was average for a high school freshman but his legs were impressive from all his skateboarding. When Lance gave Billy his first blowjob Billy could have raised his legs and crushed Lance's head like a walnut in a nutcracker. Lance was pushing those strong legs together so he could straddle them and get his cock tight against Billy's. Both cocks were pinned to their stomachs, leaking precum all over them. Lance moved his body up as he lay on Billy, letting Billy's cock slip between Lance's leg. Lance wiggled and maneuvered himself so Billy's cock stood up between Lance's legs. Lance worked his body back and forth, Billy's boner sliding up and down Lance's ass crack, making it slick with precum. Lance broke their kiss and lifted his upper body up with his arms, giving him more leverage to push back against the cock at his ass.

"Damn, Billy, I do want this. I want you to put your dick in my ass and fuck me. Will you do that for me?"

"I have no idea how to do this. Shouldn't we do something first? Like practice with something in your ass to stretch you open?"

"Already done that. My mother wondered why I have developed a craving for fresh carrots. I tell her the bigger one have more flavor. They feel more like I imagine you cock will feel like going inside. I've been carrot fucking my ass for a month waiting for the right time to ask you to do it for real."

"What about me? What am I supposed to do? I don't want to hurt you or screw this up somehow. I want this to be special for both of us." Billy voiced his concerns.

"Just lube it up and shove it in, but gently if you please," Lance joked.

"Oh hell, we need some lube? I'm sure I don't have any 'ass fucking' lube in the house"

"I use hair conditioner on the carrots. Nice and slippery. My mother think that's why my hair is so nice looking with the amount I've been using lately." Lance laughed.

"I'll go check the bathroom. I'm sure we have some of that."

Billy came back with the bottle of hair conditioner to find Lance lying on his stomach on the bed.

"Lube up your cock and then smear some on my ass crack and in my hole. Then climb on and enjoy the ride."

The sight from the doorway of Lance's naked body on his bed made Billy's regain the stiffness he had lost on his trip to the bathroom. Lance had his arms by his side and his head turned to his left. His legs were spread slightly, his rigid cock sticking out from underneath his ball sack. Lance had strong leg muscles, but his upper body was well defined as well, more so than Billy's. His skin was smooth with some light hair on his legs but none on his ass or back. His size ten feet, large for his age but just right for his stature, were pointed to the side so he was as flat to the bed as he could be.

Billy slathered some lotion in his cock and rubbed it in. He was so horned up he knew if he kept working on his cock he's shoot his load before he even touched Lance's bubble butt. He climbed on the bed on his knees and reached out to touch Lance's ass cheeks. They were round and firm, yet soft to the touch. He started to massage them, making Lance moan with pleasure. The hand he lubed his cock with was still covered in lotion and was transferred to the right cheek.

"Lube up the crack and my hole, not my butt cheeks." Lance instructed Billy.

"I just want a nice smooth landing spot."

Billy poured more lotion on his hand and rubbed it up and down between the lobes of Lance's ass. As he moved up and down, his finger brushed over the pucker, eliciting another moan from Lance.

"Oh yeah, that's the spot. Right there, now slide you finger in and get me nice and slippery."

Billy had never done anything like this before. He had felt Lance push a finger in his ass once and it felt awesome. But a finger is so much smaller than what he was about to push in Lance and he knew it would hurt him. He held his finger at the entrance and Lance puckered and relaxed his ass muscles. It took Billy by surprise.

"Did I do that?"

"No, I did. Just my way of welcoming you to virgin territory," Lanced giggled.

Billy pushed his finger in and wiggled it.

"Glad to be here," he answered.

"Okay, now for the main event. Push slow and steady and if it gets to be too much, I'll tell you to stop."


Billy moved between Lance's legs and lowered his body onto Lance's back. He supported his upper body weight with his arms while he fumbled around trying to get his cock in the right position without having to us one hand to guide it.

"You're dancing all around but you haven't found the right spot yet." Lance voiced his frustration.

Billy took one hand and grabbed his cock to guide it into position. Twice it slipped out of his fingers being so slippery from the amount of lotion he had used.

"Maybe this is a sign that we shouldn't be doing this," Billy wondered.

"We're you perfect the first time you tried to ride your board or did it take you a while to get the hang of it?'

"I fell of so many times I almost gave it up," Billy recalled.

"You were concerned if you would stick the landing making the big jump and you were perfect. So its time to start practicing this. Flex your knees, line up, grab my shoulders and bring it on home."

Billy thought Lance was making this sound much simpler than it was going to be. But he'd do his best. He lined up his cock again and applied more pressure this time. He grabbed Lance's shoulders as instructed and pulled against them to force his way in. He felt the tip of his cock start to penetrate.

"Holy mother of hell!" Lance yelled out in pain.

He had tightened his ass in pain, which wasn't helping matters at all.

"I knew it, I knew I'd hurt you. Let me pulled back." Billy stuttered.

"No, just stay still so I can get used to it. Just give me a minute."

Lance was breathing fast and heavy trying to get used to the pain from the intruder. It felt like his ass was on fire. He wondered if this is how a girl felt her first time when her hymen was ruptured. Fuck! He hoped nothing back there was going to be ruptured. He flexed his ass muscles a few times to make sure everything still worked.

"Was that you doing that?" Billy asked when he felt the movement.

"Yeah, just saying 'hi' and welcoming you home. I'm going to push out to open up as much as I can and I want you to push in all the way in one steady motion."

"No, that will hurt too much. We're better going a little at a time."

"It's like pulling off a bandage. One quick pull and it only hurts for a second or two. Ready?"

Billy wasn't sure but he trusted Lance. After all it was Lance's ass so he must know best. Billy felt Lance push out so he shoved himself in until he was slammed up against Lance's ass cheeks.

"Mhhhmuh!" Lance mumbled. "Okay now stay still again and let me breath."

It didn't take long for Lance's breathing to return to normal and his sphincter muscle to relax. Billy flexed his groin muscles to make his cock twitch a few times.

"Was that you doing that?" Lance asked.

"Just me saying it feels good to be home," Billy laughed.

Lance started to slowly move his hips up and down to get used to the feeling of a cock up his ass. As he felt more at ease, he moved his arms back to put his hands on Billy's side, making contact and rubbing his lover. Billy responded by kissing Lance on the ear, then the cheek and finally on the mouth as Lance moved his head further to the side.

"Oh damn, this is so much better than I ever imagined. I'm ready for you to fuck me good and proper."

Billy began to pump in and out slowly then faster and faster. The warm and tightness that enveloped his cock was the best thing he had experienced. The sensations on his cock and the love that was flowing between the two of them made Billy realize he wasn't going to last too long.

"I'm getting close, Lance. So close. Should I pull out?"

"No, cum inside me so I have a part of you as a part of me."

He felt his orgasm building inside him. One final thrust put him over the edge. He pushed deep and held himself tight to Lance, his body trembling and shaking. Lance could feel Billy's body on top of him and his cock twitching in side him with each pump of cum Billy deposited. Billy had bumped Lance's prostrate a few times, not enough to make him cum, but enough to make him leak a few drops of cum. Billy started to pull back out of Lance.

"Please stay right where you are. I want you inside me as long as we possibly can."

Billy complied and let his full body weight press down on Lance.

"Am I too heavy for you?" Billy asked.

"No, this is perfect." Lance purred.

They lay like this for a while until Billy's cock had softened enough that it fell out of Lance. They rolled over and lay side by side, looking at the ceiling. After they caught their breath, Billy was the first one to speak.

"Was it as good as you thought it would be?"

"Absolutely not," Lance' replied.

"I told you I didn't know what I was doing. Maybe this was a bad idea."

"It wasn't as good, it was fucking awesome! So much better than I had ever imagined. All because it was you. How about you?"

"It was the best piece of ass I've ever had. And that's the truth," Billy laughed.

"You dick head, it's the only piece of ass you've ever had."

"Didn't say it wasn't. But I hope it won't be my last either."

"Definitely not."

"One thing, though. I don't think I'm ready to be on the bottom yet. I hope you're not disappointed or mad."

"I was ready and it was fantastic. When you're ready, be it tomorrow, next week, next month or whenever, I want it to be as good as it was for me."

They hugged and kissed for a while, enjoying their after sex euphoria. Then Billy moved got up on his hands and knees and put his head at Lance's crotch. He took his soft cock and put it in his mouth, taking every inch of it until his nose was against Lance's stomach. He began to swirl his tongue around the limp dick until is began to grow. Soon it was hard and ready for a good sucking. Lance reached around and pulled Billy's ass towards him while he was still on his hands and knees. Lance began to play with Billy's ass cheeks, pushing a finger in the crack until he found the sweet spot. He pushed his finger in as Billy went wild on Lance's cock, bobbing and sucking and squeezing his balls. Lance was moaning and asking for more as he pinched Billy's nipples with his free hand. Lance pushed his hips up and unloaded six spurts of cum into Bill's mouth. He choked, sucked and tried to swallow as much as he could.

"Now we both have some of each of us inside." He smiled as the excess cum dribbled down his chin.

Lance pulled him up and licked his face clean. After another respite, they went to the bathroom and cleaned up. Lance suggested they shower together but Billy was nervous he parents would come home. After they cleaned up, they went downstairs, got a snack and Lance told Billy he had better get home.

"See you in school tomorrow," Lance said at the door.

"If not before," Billy smiled and gave Lance a passionate good bye kiss.

Lance got home and no one had missed him as he expected. His dad wasn't home and his mom was in her room. He went to his room and opened his closet to lay out his clothes for school tomorrow. He put his dirty clothes in the laundry and discovered the envelope that Mike had stuffed in his pocket yesterday. He opened it and out fell the Polaroid picture of Fred starting his run down the hill to make his big jump. Lance looked at the picture and began to tear up.

"Why, why, you stupid son of a bitch. You had nothing to prove to me, or anyone else. You were my friend and I didn't care if you could jump a curbing, it didn't matter at all."

Lance took out the note in side and unfolded it. It was from Fred and addressed to Lance. His hands were shaking as he read it.

'Lance, I asked Mike to take pictures of me making the jump over the washout. I didn't succeed the first time because I didn't take it seriously enough. Because of that, Murdock took my place as your best friend. You have no idea how much that hurt. I love you. It was going to be you and me all through high school and beyond. We were going to settle down and make a life together. Now you can see from these pictures that I'm as good as him, no even better because I've loved you longer, I can be back by your side once again. Love, Fred.'

Lance dropped the note and fell to the floor crying.

"You dumb shit! Why didn't you say anything to me? You had nothing to prove to me. We could have talked and worked this out together."

He picked up the picture again and stared at Fred's smiling face.

"Son of a mother fucking bitch!! I'm the reason Fred is dead. It's all my fault. I had no idea he felt that way about me, or Billy. He died trying to get my attention. If I hadn't teased him and instead talked to him like a friend, he'd be alive today. My life is so fucked up right now, maybe I'm the one who should be dead and that would solve everyone's problems."

Lance sat on the floor until the tears stopped. How could he face his friends at school tomorrow? How could he face Billy? Should he tell anyone about this or just tear up the note and pretend it never existed? No, it did exist and it was his fault that Fred had died. He got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. He looked at himself in the mirror over the sink.

"What a pathetic person. Everything I touch turns to shit. How long will it take before I have ruined Billy's life?"

He looked down at the counter top next to the sink and saw his mother's bottle of sleeping pills. He picked it up and looked at it, then shook it. This time is was full. This could be the answer to all his problems. A good long peaceful sleep, hopefully with a nice dream that he would never have to wake up from.

He took the bottle of pills and went back to his room. He set the bottle down on his nightstand and picked up the picture of Fred.

"Maybe you did know what you were doing, old friend. Maybe we will be together again, side by side after all, where ever we end up."

He set the picture down and picked up the bottle of pills. He looked inside and saw it was almost full. Plenty to do what he intended. He held the bottle in his hand and looked up towards the Heavens.

"I love you with all my heart, Billy Murdock. I always have and I always will, until the day I d . . . . .."

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