My Freshman Experience

by Joel Young

Chapter 9

How Often Do You Jack Off?

Things at Oberlin were relatively quiet for the next few weeks. Adam and I spent as much time together as possible. But as midterms approached, the academic pressures became intense. Adam spent hours in the studio. Except for dinner, I studied from late afternoon until bedtime every night. I knew I was doing well in all of my classes, and I was hoping to ace my midterm exams. Chemistry was the only dicey subject for me. But now that Peter lived next door to me, it was much easier to get help when I needed it. He and I were forming a close friendship. I think that's why he decided to talk to me about a personal matter.

I was studying for my World Civilization midterm when Peter knocked on my door. "I need a break," he said. "Want to take a walk?"

Before Peter knocked on my door, I had found my mind drifting as I re-read parts of the textbook that I thought might be on the exam. So, I immediately accepted Peter's invitation. "Great!" I said. "Let's blow this pop stand!" I grabbed my jacket, and Peter and I went out the side door of the dorm.

As we began our walk, I prattled on and on about the various midterm exams I had the next week. It took me several minutes before I realized I was monopolizing the conversation, and Peter had said nothing. "Are you ready for your exams?" I asked, deliberately giving Peter a chance to speak.

"Pretty much," he said. "I'll need to go over my notes before each test, but otherwise, I'm in good shape - academically."

I sensed that Peter had something other than midterms on his mind. "Cool," I said. "How's it going with you and Tom sharing a room?"

"I think it's going well," Peter said. "Tom's really easy to talk to, and we both like to keep the room clean and neat. I'm glad I moved in with him." Then he added, "I just hope it's going okay for him, too."

"Why would you be worried about that?" I asked. "Don't you guys hang out quite a bit?"

"Yeah," Peter said. "Tom and I hung out last Saturday night."

Peter sounded upset about something.

"Did you go out cruising and wind up hitting on the same girl?" I joked.

"No," Peter said. "We just stayed in. We had a few too many beers and got pretty buzzed."

"Hopefully not enough to make you sick," I said, still trying to tease with him.

"No," Peter said. "Just enough - to embarrass ourselves."

"Uh-oh," I thought to myself. Something happened between Tom and Peter, and now Peter wants to tell me about it. I wasn't sure I wanted to have a conversation like that. But Peter was a good friend, and his help in Chemistry was saving my butt.

"You want to talk about it? I asked.

"It's really no big deal," Peter said. "Well, at least I don't think it is. I was hoping you'd tell me if I've done something really stupid."

"I've done some pretty stupid things," I told Peter. "So, I know a thing or two about embarrassing myself. I doubt you did anything worse than most guys have done – at one time or another."

Peter stopped walking and looked down at the ground. I stopped and looked at him.

"I think I crossed a line with Tom," Peter said quietly. "I'm afraid he might not want to be roommates anymore."

"Wow. That does sound serious. But, Tom's a really cool guy, Peter," I said. "I'd be really surprised if you did something that would make him want you to move out."

I studied Peter's face, and I could tell he was trying to work up the nerve to tell me what had happened.

"I got too personal and asked him something I shouldn't have," Peter finally said.

I wanted to be supportive of Peter. "Asking a personal question when you've had a few beers with a friend is no big deal, Peter. That's what friends do."

Peter still looked upset, so I tried to lighten the mood. "And besides," I said. "If Tom didn't want to answer a question, he could have told you to go fuck-off!"

We continued our walk through the college square without talking for a while. Peter seemed unsure if he wanted to tell me more. Finally, he stopped and looked at me.

"I asked him how often he jacks off," Peter said. He sounded as if he were confessing to a crime.

I decided to make light of the situation. "Oh, yeah? What'd he say? Three times a week? Every day? Twice a day? Anything more than twice a day really makes me sore!"

I was glad when Peter laughed. I guess he hadn't expected my reaction.

"Peter," I said. "It's no big deal. Guys talk about things like that with their friends. Tom didn't get upset with you, did he?"

"Not at first," Peter said. "By our fourth beer, we were laughing and really talking freely. I asked if somebody had shown him how to jack off, or if he had learned about it on his own." Peter chuckled again. "Come to find out, we both discovered it by ourselves when we were 12 or 13."

"That doesn't sound so bad. Did something else happen?" I asked.

"Yeah. We started talking about circle jerks. Tom said he'd never done that. God, I was so stupid!" Peter said. "I told him that I'd done it twice in high school and that the guys I was with had even – you know - jacked each other off."

"Peter, that's not so unusual," I said. "High school guys are horny all the time, and there aren't very many outlets for relief – at least ones that are socially acceptable. Adolescents exploring sexuality with their friends isn't so terrible."

"Did you ever do it?" Peter asked.

"You mean a circle jerk? No, I didn't do that," I said. "But, I did other things – with a close friend."

"You mean with another guy?" Peter asked.

I decided to be honest with Peter. He was a good friend, and I thought he wouldn't judge me. "Yeah," I said. "In fact, I fell in love with him."

"So … you're gay?" Peter asked.

"Bi" I answered. "I had a girlfriend in my last year of high school, and I fell in love with her, too. But let's get back to you and Tom," I said.

"Well, I didn't think what I told Tom was so awful. I mean, I figured we were good enough friends to share stuff like that," Peter said. "We were drinking and talking about sex, and it just kind of came out. But Tom said that jacking-off another guy was too queer for him. He got up and left - like he was disgusted or something."

"Look, Peter," I said. "I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Do you know how many guys have circle jerks when they're in their teens? I'd guess thousands, if not millions! Not all guys in a circle jerk jack each other off – but I bet a lot of them do. Some probably even get around to sucking each other off. Just give Tom some time. Act like nothing is different. I bet he never says another word about it. Or, he might just talk about how drunk he was and that he can't remember anything. My money says your friendship will be just fine."

"Thanks," he said. "I really hope you're right."

Peter and I went back to the dorm to continue studying. Before I had even opened a book, however, I realized that I just couldn't read anymore that night. I decided to go to the art studio to check on Adam. I found him alone in a darkened room. He was sitting at a table with a small desk lamp, working on one of his midterm projects. I knocked, hoping not to startle him.

Adam looked up and smiled at me. He got up from his chair and came over to where I was standing. We naturally fell into an embrace.

"I'm so glad you came to find me," Adam said. "I've been fighting to stay awake, and I can't sit at that table anymore. My neck and back are hurting from leaning over for so long."

I walked him back to his chair and told him to take off his shirt and sit down. He smiled, seeming to know that I had plans for providing him some relief. He did as I asked. "Sit up straight," I told him.

I began massaging his neck muscles, slowly but firmly. He moved his head in small circles in response to my touch. "You're so good to me," he moaned.

Leaning in to speak softly into his ear, I said, "That's because you're a handsome, sexy, talented guy with a great personality." I kissed up and down his neck. I lingered there for a while before continuing his message. I moved my hands down and worked on his shoulder muscles. I could feel the tension that had built up in him.

I continued working on his shoulders and back for a good five minutes. "Joel," Adam said to me. "You've relaxed the upper part of my body, but you've managed to create tension in places below the belt."

I leaned in close and wrapped my arms around him from the back. "Well, we can't have that, can we?" I said. "Pull your chair back from the table."

He stood and moved his chair several feet back. I came around so that I was facing him. We started kissing. I loved how Adam's kisses set my senses on fire. It felt so good to be close to him, wrapped in his arms, and connecting physically and intimately.

We made out like that for several minutes until we were both starting to become short of breath. I reached down and began feeling Adam's hard cock through his jeans. Adam leaned his head back and whispered, "Oh God, Joel. You know just how to turn me on."

I unzipped his jeans and loosened his pants so that I could pull them down. His jeans hit the floor. I knelt down, and my mouth explored his hard cock through his white boxer shorts. I had never done that before. Up until that moment, I hadn't really wanted to feel cotton on my lips and tongue. But that night, I wanted to. Something told me Adam would really enjoy it. I was right.

Adam's hard cock was pointing to the side in his shorts. I placed my mouth near the head, and I pressed my lips against it. I explored his covered shaft, moving slowly from side to side. Adam moaned. Then, he seemed to lose his balance, and he sat down. Still on my knees, I moved forward to maintain contact with his intoxicating sexuality. I wanted his cock in my mouth.

I reached for the elastic band around his waist. Adam raised himself off the chair, just enough so that I was able to slip his shorts down. He sat again and then lifted his feet off the floor. I slid his boxers completely off and tossed them aside. I stared at the erect cock in front of my face. I moved in and took it in my mouth.

Adam stopped me. "Joel, I can't think of anything I want more than for you to keep doing what you're doing. But …"

I had no idea what Adam was saying. I looked up and stared into his eyes, searching for some understanding.

"I'm not … ready … I mean not yet." He paused before completing his thought. "I'm not ready to return the favor – orally."

Adam's reluctance to have mutual oral pleasure didn't upset me. I just wanted to be close to him. I wanted to feel the love we shared. Sure, I wanted sexual stimulation and satisfaction. But, I didn't really care how Adam chose to bring me to orgasm, as long as it was an expression of his love and affection. I was curious, however, and a little concerned, about why he 'wasn't ready.' But, I let it go.

I smiled at Adam. "How about this?" I said. "I'll show my love and my desire for you in the way that I want, as long as we both enjoy it. You do the same. It doesn't matter if you chose to share your feelings differently. I'll be fine with anything that we're both comfortable with."

"That sounds really, really good," Adam said. "You're so patient with me. That's one of the things I love about you."

Adam bent down, and we kissed. We were in perfect sync with each other, and our kiss was like merging our minds and souls. The intensity of our love was powerful, and it gave me a throbbing erection.

Finally, I pulled away from his lips and smiled. "I love you, Adam," I said. "Now, sit back."

Adam scooched forward in his chair and leaned his head back. I had the perfect view of his naked manliness – fully erect. I stroked him slowly at first. Then, I leaned in and put my mouth firmly around him. I teased a little before I started going up and down on his rigid cock. I loved its shape. I loved its soft skin covering the hard rod underneath. It fit perfectly inside my mouth, and I went all the way down on him without gagging.

My hands found his testicles, and I fondled them all over – very gently. I loved cupping the soft, sensitive, egg-shaped orbs hanging below his proud erection. As I continued to make love to his wonderful manhood, I slowed down on some of my upward strokes – so that my tongue could lick the head of his cock. I lingered on my down strokes, pressing my tongue around the back side of his amazing phallus.

I worshiped him like that for a long time, enjoying every moment just as much as he. I heard the soft moans of his excitement growing louder. He started taking shallow, fast breaths. His hips were gently moving up and down from the chair, matching the rhythm of my efforts to gratify his carnal urges. I realized he was getting close to exploding.

"Joel," he said breathlessly. "I'm about to cum. Use your hand on me."

I removed my mouth from of his quivering shaft, and I raised my head so that I could see his face. Adam was looking back at me, glassy-eyed.

"No," I said as I returned my lips and mouth to where they wanted to be, and I sucked him back in.

The next few moments were magical. Adam seemed astonished when he realized that I wanted him to reach orgasm as I pleasured him orally; that I wanted to feel the force of his ejaculation against my throat; that I wanted to taste his masculinity. I could tell he hadn't truly wanted me to stop. Rather, he had been afraid of how I would react if he allowed himself to succumb to his sexual impulses and cum in my mouth.

I blocked all worldly distractions and retreated into the center of my mind. I imagined the sound of a single drum beating in the distance. It seemed to guide the rhythm of my movements as my sole purpose became satisfying Adam. I could feel myself giving into our mutual arousal. We were one with each other and moving in glorious harmony – released from earthly constraints – aware of nothing but our love and demanding physical attraction for each other. I heard the drum beats in my head becoming louder and quicker. Each moment of our intimate contact drew us closer and closer together - until finally, Adam erupted and let out the most amazing cry of joy and satisfaction. I felt his power as a blast of semen hit the back of my throat – triggering my own spontaneous orgasm. Adam's cock was still in my mouth as I savored the overwhelming bliss of simultaneously reaching the pinnacle of sexual intensity and release.

I laid my head on Adam's naked lap. He leaned over and ran his hands through my hair. I didn't want our bodily contact to end. But finally, we had to get up.

While Adam was pulling up his pants, I found some tissues. I opened up my jeans and slid my briefs down. I tried to clean myself up. Still, there was a fairly prominent wet spot on the front of my stone-washed Levi's.

Just as Adam finished buckling his belt, he got a strange look on his face. "Joel, you need to get back to your dorm."

"Yeah," I said. "I really do need to get out of these clothes. I've soaked them pretty good."

"No. That's not it," Adam said. "Somebody's waiting there for you."

"You mean Mitch?" I asked. "We don't question each other about where we've gone or what we do. I'm sure he's not waiting up for me."

"No," Adam said. "There's a man in your room. He wants to see you."

I stopped and looked at Adam's face. I didn't understand what was going on, and it made me nervous. "How would you know that?" I asked.

"I don't know how I know. I just know," he said.

"Who is he?" I asked.

"I don't recognize him," Adam said. "He has muscular arms, and he's worried about you."

At that point, I realized Adam thought he was having one of his premonitions. I really didn't believe in any form of the supernatural, but I decided not to question him. Instead, I went along with his belief that I needed to get back to my room. "Okay," I said. "I'll go find out."

Adam offered to go with me back to my dorm, but I told him I'd be fine by myself. "Besides," I joked. "If the guy's worried about me, I doubt he poses any threat."

Adam and I went to the exit door of the art building. We kissed and said goodnight. "See you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. "I want to find out who the mystery man is."

I made the relatively long walk across the dark campus to Pilgrim Hall. I really didn't think there would be a man in my room. But for some reason, I was nervous. I was relieved when I opened the door to my room and saw Mitch tucked in his bed, asleep. No mysterious man was lurking around.

I went down to the bathroom to finish cleaning up. I brushed my teeth, went back to the room, and I started to get undressed for bed. I must have made enough noise to wake up Mitch.

He turned over and looked at me. "Your father was here," he said.

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