Singer Without a Song
By Chris James
Prologue
"Prayer Hotline...Jesus speaking, how may I help you?"
"Jesus? As in Jesus Christ?"
"Is there any other? What seems to be the problem, John?"
"Oh, you know who I am?"
"Yes, John Bateman, born October seventh, nineteen and fifty AD. That refers to me you know, the AD part. Latin is such an exhausting language. Do you need more?"
"No... Look I...I think I'm...My life is...I have too many questions about..."
"Yes, I understand, it happens sometimes, you just have to go with it."
"What do you mean it happens? You didn't let me finish. You don't understand..."
"You think I don't know? Do you really understand who I am?"
"Well, yes...sorry, Jesus. But I just can't go through life like this..."
"Well, we all go through a little pain...I was crucified, you know."
"Then tell me, why is my life so messed up?"
"Every life is important to Us. My Father created all living things, you know. He
tells me it was a real bitch. I imagine the engineering alone took eons of time...but that's not what you're after, is it?"
"I don't even know why I'm talking to you? I'm not even Christian anymore."
"Does the fact that you don't believe in Me render the message any less truthful?"
Jesus asked.
"In some ways, yes," I responded. "Look, Jesus, this isn't a put down on Christianity. I respect other people's beliefs but we're killing innocent people here in a horrible war. All that stuff about loving one another, it just isn't working."
"I know and it saddens me," Jesus said. "Is there anything specific I can help you with?"
"I'm scared, they're planning a lottery for the draft...I could get sent to Vietnam. I don't believe in killing anything, war is immoral. Can't you put a stop to it?"
"I already said my piece and made my exit," Jesus said. "You won't be in the lottery until next year and you'll have a high enough number... I can't say more. But you're not suggesting that it's time for me to come back and...are you? Fortunately for the human race that's not an option at this time."
"No...No way, I'm not asking for the end of the world... Can you really do that?
"Don't ask and I won't tell," Jesus chuckled.
"I just want some validation of my existence in a peaceful way," I said. "I don't want to end my life in some rice paddy, is that too much to ask?"
"I'll tell you what. I think mankind is on the brink of a huge disaster and it's all We can do to prevent total chaos. It's the same old us and them, good versus evil."
"You're saying the Vietnam War is a result of the devil at work? That's absurd."
"There is no devil on Earth, John, only man. People have the capacity for good or evil depending upon their nature."
"So there is no hell?"
"I didn't say that. Do you know what it's like to be an only child in a Jewish family? It's my idea of hell, I'll tell you. Thank goodness that Mary and Joseph were good Jews and they had... but I can't tell you that either.
"Look, I told Him that sending me down to Earth as a Jew was a mistake, but He wouldn't listen. Oy, the mess He created with that one little gesture. People have been killing each other over that for centuries."
"Stop," I screamed, "This conversation is going nowhere. You could change everything if you wanted. The Bible says mankind was made in God's image. If that's true can't you cut us some slack?"
"Hmm...You'd think so, but I can't," Jesus said. "My Father had a really incredible idea a few million years ago and spread life throughout the stars. Each domain has certain rules to follow. Oops, I shouldn't be telling you this, what's wrong with me tonight?"
"You mean there are really aliens?"
"Forget I said anything. But what's an alien, John, someone who is different than you?" Jesus asked.
"I'm seventeen years old and going into a strange school for the umpteenth time in my life. I've never been with a girl and they don't even seem appealing to me. Maybe I'm queer, but I don't want to be an alien on my own planet. I can't live like this; I need to be accepted by my peers."
"And so you shall, I promise. I'll tell you a little secret, John...Things are going to change for you and all those like you. I make no reservations about anyone who is faithful and honest in his feelings, you are what you are. My Father made each person an individual. You are all perfect in my eyes.
"But I understand you need to hear more and so I will tell you that there is someone out there, someone who's been waiting to meet you. You will change the world together, I promise. When it happens...Well, then all this pain will be irrelevant, won't it?"
"Someone...for me? When..."
"Now, now," Jesus interrupted, "Don't question my word. I have to go now, there's a crisis in Uganda, there's always a crisis in Uganda, but thanks for bringing your concerns to me."
"But I'm a Buddhist...Why are you here anyway?"
"Because I had the duty desk tonight. You know how that works, you're an Army brat. Look, all you need to know is that there is only one higher power in the universe and we all work for Him. It doesn't matter that you don't believe in Me as long as you believe in the truth of the One who made us all. Buddhists are an all right bunch, a little slow off the starting line sometimes, but they have great staying power. Believe in yourself, John and have a good life."
"Thanks, but I...I don't understand..."
"You will, my boy...you will." The words faded out and Jesus was gone.
I didn't understand what was he trying to tell me? Hello? Is anyone going to tell me what this all means?
Author's Note: The term 'queer' was generally used outside the homosexual community during the 1960's, 'gay' was still an insider term. As young boys these characters would not know the term 'gay' at that time of life, all that would come later. Read on.
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