The Boy from Castlebay Down

by James Matthews

Chapter 11

One Day I'll Fly Away

3 days had come and gone, gone where I didn't know. It was like I had fallen into this depressive state just wanting to switch between watching TV and sleeping. Visits to my room included Leah of course whose room it was too, but also Zoe and mum. All three of them were trying to talk to me, ask me what was wrong, but alas, I had no answers.

More bad news came when mum rushed upstairs to tell me that it was unlikely dad was going to get into serious trouble with the police regarding his act of arson. Apparently he pleaded for it to be taken as a domestic issue due to stress. Seeing as no one had been hurt and no damage was caused to anything other than MY property he was let off with a £2000 fine for breaching the peace. As I listened to her explain I got the distinct feeling she was relieved. I felt like telling her again that I planned to press charges for attempted murder but how could I? I might be numb from feeling depressed but I wasn't about to take her down with me. Besides, I could jump around screaming at people that it was attempted murder but first I needed prove it. Having mum firmly in my corner as well as the others was going to be something I would have to fight for because after I called time on his abuse, things were never going to be the same again.

Meanwhile Leah had informed me that Zoe had been spending more time with Troy which at first bothered me but now after almost 3 days of her hanging around him non-stop I couldn't give a fuck. Let her get on with it… let everyone just get on with whatever they wanted to, I was past caring.

I heard my door open and quickly turned over to face away from it, pretending, like so many times before when someone had come in… that I was asleep.

"Corbin?" Leah whispered. "Corbin?" she repeated, louder.

"What?" I mumbled a reply.

"Don't you think you should get up babe?"

"What for?" I asked into my pillow.

"It has been three days, you've hardly eaten anything and, well… uh this room is starting to smell a little stale."

"Is the asshole back yet?"

"Your dad, no, but he's meant to be soon, why?"

"Because that's when I'll get up!"

"And do what? I hope you're not going to do anything stupid?"

"Nope, but as soon as he gets back he'll be kicking me out anyway so…"

"Don't be silly, I'm sure by now he's had the chance to think about what's happened and he'll be fine."

"Meh, we'll see, I don't care anyway. As soon as I have the chance I'm gonna put him right back in that cell."

"Corbin, babe, please, you got to stop this!" Leah pleaded. I turned over.

"You're right; I should get up shouldn't I! I'll get up and pretend to be happy… pretend that I am the happiest 17 year old boy in the world. I have a perfect family, I live in a quaint little seaside village with delightful scenery. Everything is just FUCKING ROSY AIN'T IT!" I screamed, ripping the duvet off me.

"Corbin, you're scaring me!"

"What, think I'm gonna hit you do ya, think I'm just like my dad?" I wined putting on a mocking voice.

"You wouldn't!"

"Yeah, I wouldn't. But thanks for thinking I might! I may be angry but I'm not Don the Cunt Waite! GOD I HATE HAVING HIS FUCKING NAME!" I bellowed at the top of my voice. "I'm gonna take a shower and then I might hang myself for shits and giggles, can you bring me some soap so you can tell everyone I slipped and didn't really hate life that much!"

I stormed past her and into the bathroom slamming the door. During my rage I had already decided I was not going to wait around for my dad to come plodding home like fucking Neville Chamberlain, waving a bit of paper saying 'peace in our road!' I was also not going to stand here and let him lecture me or gloat that he had got away with… well pretty much everything.

From threatening to kick me out, to his violence against me on the boat, to burning the contents of my room, including my prized pictures… he'd won. He had systematically taken me down to the lowest notch on the "shitlifeometer!" But his time would come, that time when the fat fucker would be begging for my forgiveness. His life was about to be doused in petrol this time and I would be holding that fucking match waiting!

After bursting out of the shower in a towel I went into my room and pulled on some clean underwear while Leah went hysterical at me asking me what I was doing. My mood though was one of methodical concentration.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed, what does it look like."

"Then what?"

"Then I'm going out."

"Again? Corbin you are always out somewhere."

"Do you blame me, living with him."

"Can I come with you at least?"

"Nope, I wanna be alone."

"But we're a couple, please let me come with you, I can help."

I looked up at her and smiled. "Pfft, you think you help? You make my life harder than he does sometimes with your constant fucking questioning and silly fantasies about how happy we are."

"Corbin why are you being so cruel?"

I prodded my head violently. "THINK!"

"You fucking asshole, you think I make you the way you are?"

"ARGH, Leah you just don't get it, just leave me alone will you."

My final request made her lose it with me, no doubt out of frustration, but even as she slapped and punched me, I continued to get dressed. Like a crazed cat she seemed to have finally cracked herself as she took another few dozen beats on my chest. I just stood there looking at her expressionless as she pummelled away. Her hair was all over the place and her nose full of snot as she screamed at me to stay.


I pushed her onto the bed as she came at me again catching her fingernail on my ear, making it bleed a little.

"Leah, you're a mess, look at you," was all I could say before walking out.

As I walked down stairs she came flying out of our room after me. "YOU WALK OUT AGAIN AND WE'RE FINISHED I MEAN IT!!"

I looked back at her and smiled. "Ok babe, whatever you want yeah?"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING MOCK ME YOU FUCKING… WHY ARE YOU DOING THIIIIIISSSSS!" Leah collapsed on the stairs sobbing and I continued down to the front door. I had to get out, get away from her sobs, get away from the house, my mum and most of all my DAD!

I flung open the front door seeing the car was gone, mum must have gone with Zoe to pick up the asshole. As I went to slam it again Leah jammed it open and decides to start pulling on my coat.

"Leah just fuck off will you!" I shouted as she started punching me in the back.

"Stop! Stop fucking walking away from me," she sobbed.

Up ahead I thought I can see what appeared to be my sister come running down the road, and Troy too.

"Brother, what's happening?"

I just looked straight ahead. "Go home, Zoe… take Leah home!"

"Corbin, are you ok?" Troy asked stopping in front of me. I walked right past him not saying a word.

"Tell him Zoe… oh God tell him to stop!" Leah screamed.

"Corbin… Brother please, where are you going?"

"Corbin, wait up," Troy called.

"Leave me alone Troy, just walk away please!"

"I warned you… I fucking warned you, you walk away from me and we're done! FUCKING COME BACK!" Leah cried hysterically. I briefly looked behind as she fell to the floor. Zoe knelt down to comfort her as a few people had stopped in the street to get a good look. I briefly glanced at Troy who was just following me with his eyes. I gave him a look of disdain that I didn't intend on before turning my head, continuing to walk away from them.

I didn't know where I had walked to as my mind had just bubbled away for the past twenty minutes. Realising I had travelled to a place I didn't know I stopped, shocked that I couldn't remember the last 20 minutes of my walk. Up ahead was small shop that looked like it sold all sorts and I headed for it not really knowing what for.

As I approached the door I saw a promotion in the window on Smirnoff Vodka that caught my eye. I wasn't a drinker in the least but something urged me to walk in and head straight for the counter.

"You got any of that vodka that's on offer out there?" I asked the Asian shop keeper.

"The Smirnoff one?"

"Whatever," I grunted.

"Do you have any ID?"

"Nope, do I need it then?"

"How old are you?"


The man didn't answer; instead he just nodded and beeped the bottle through his till. That was the good thing about my height; it made me look a little older. While he was reaching for a bag I went down an isle to a fridge and pulled out some Coke before walking back.

"And this."

"Thank you, that will be £18.70 please."

"Take cards?" I grunted, pulling out my wallet.

"Fifty pence extra," came his response.

I looked up at him and shook my head. "Figures!"

"Please put your PIN in."

I keyed in my number and waited for the screen to show the word 'approved' before pulling it out and grabbing the bag from the counter.

"Thanks," I mumbled before walking out back on to the quiet street.

Starting to walk down a steep hill I recognised a landmark I'd been at a few days ago. It looked like the outline of Manners Cliff.

3 Hours Later

"One day I'll fly away… leave your love to yesterday… what more can your love do for me… when will love be through for me." I sang, slurring my words and waving the bottle about. Earlier, realising I didn't have a glass I'd had to poor half of the 2 litre coke away before emptying my bottle of vodka into it. For a non-drinker my 50/50 mix was giving me a pasting as I sat there swaying to the imaginary music in my head.

"Argh, God bless you Randy Crawford," I said, holding my bottle up as a toast. With the light now fading I leant back onto my elbows and let the breeze wash over me as I stared out to sea watching the seagulls out fishing. I felt warm and content as the alcohol was not only calming my nerves, it was also centrally heating my chest.

I took another large swig before completely laying down on the grass looking up at the sky. A few bright stars were already visible and it made me think of Randy's song again. I really wished I could fly away.

As I lay there I could hear a car slowly passing by on the road a little up the cliff. Noting it had been the first vehicle I had heard since I got here I looked behind me seeing a black jeep coming to a stop. I scoffed in my drunken state and dismissed it returning to my star-gazing. Moments later I could feel the gentle thud of footsteps on the grass getting closer.

Not bothering to look around I started chuckling. "Shh'ok you got me, I been drrrinking under aggge!" I slurred, holding my wrists together. "You better arrest me officer!"

"Fuck Corbin, I've been looking for you everywhere!"

I sighed, recognising the voice. "Well now you found me, what do you want?"

"I was worried… you're smashed!"

"Yeah no shit, and I like it this way!"

"Corbin, we need to get you home, your family are worried!"

"I ain't got no home," I declared, taking another swig from my bottle. "Anyway, ain't you and my sister got some flirting to do?"

I felt the bottle being snatched out of my hand before being thrown over the edge of the cliff.

"Hey, what the fuck! That cost me money."

"Be spiteful towards me by all means Corbin, but I'm not gonna sit here and watch you drink yourself to oblivion, it's not the answer!"

"Oh yeah Troy, cause you would know," I spat sitting upright. "I keep asking myself why you care about me so much, what are you lonely or something? Well, I'm not lonely, I'm just here, just here with myself but not lonely." I said, totally wrecked. Fuck knows what I was trying to say.

"I'm not going to argue with you while you're drunk."

"Then kiss me, I want you to kiss me," I demanded. Then, swaying and holding my finger up to him I tried to focus on his face. "Ahhhhh haahaaa, you thought I didn't care didn't you?"

"What are you talking about."

I scoffed. "Meh, I'm just a fucking loser, but you can kiss me if you want, I won't freak out! God I feel tired!"


"Well, are you gonna come down here and kiss me or what?"

"Corbin listen, I Don't think you realise what you are saying! 3 days ago, on the boat you pretty much told me that we need to move-"

"Argh forget it, go… go flirt with my sister then, go kill my mental girlfriend, shoot my dad, I don't give a…"

I like things right in my mind. I'm definitely one of those people who need familiar surroundings. I also like things planned and not spontaneous. I'm the guy who always sets an alarm for everything and I'm the guy that will never put myself in a situation where I'm not in control.

So, knowing that I like things the way I do, and that it tends to make me nervous when things aren't that way, you can imagine how I felt waking up with no alarm, and no sense of what day it was, in a bed that felt way too soft to be my own.

Before I had even opened my eyes and before my pounding head had even registered on my senses I could tell I was not in familiar surroundings. For a start it was warm, warm on my face. Huh? My room was never warm I thought. Then there were the pillows. My pillows were hollow fibre, but my head could feel the distinct texture down feathers as I lay there feeling like a car wreck with my eyes closed.

That was enough for me as I pinged my eyes open and snapped myself upright. Panic immediately set in as I looked around the spacious room still half asleep, my head banging. The next thing to come into focus was the fact I was naked! Well I mean I had my boxers on, but still, it was rather a shock to find out the last time I recalled, I had been fully clothed and now the opposite seemed to be the case.

I glanced over to my right seeing the bare back of Troy laying there, his head buried in one of his pillows. The duvet was resting just below his blue banded pair of Haines boxer trunks. I looked at his left arm as it lay draped over the covers, immediately noticing how defined it was, probably due to his boxing. It was a smooth arm, blemish free and still lightly tanned from the summer just gone.

Coming back to the present my first thought was thinking how this was a step to far. How the hell had I got here? Why was I here? Who undressed me? Where were my fucking clothes? So many questions and ARGH… my fucking head!

I had to get out of this bed, out of this house. This was too much. Holding hands was one thing but… Oh my fucking God, did we have sex? The thought alone made my breath hitch and I swallowed hard to contain it.

As delicately as possible I slowly swung my legs out of bed, petrified that the slightest movement was gonna wake him which would lead to a conversation I REALLY didn't wanna have right now. I tried to concentrate on the art of silence and stave off the argument as to why I had ended up in bed with another dude. As I got myself into an upright sitting position on the edge of the bed I swept the room with my eyes trying to locate my clothes which all seemed to have vanished, along with my phone… my WALLET!

"If you head for the first door on the left as you leave my room, you take a shower?"

My head shot back over to the sound of Troy's voice. He still looked in exactly the same position. "What the fuck Troy?"

"Good morning."

"What am I doing here, why am I in your bed?" I hissed, suddenly aware his dad might be in bed still.

"It was the only option, I called your mum to tell her you were safe, your dad is back and you were wrecked. She was panicking in case you and him started a war. I offered to bring you back here and she said that was a good idea."

"Why the fuck am I in your bed… did we…"

"No!" Troy barked. He turned over to look at me. "And before you start getting shitty with me about where you ended up sleeping just let me tell you it wasn't my choice. I showed you the spare room and by the time I had finished cleaning my teeth you had passed out in my bed."

"So you decided to strip me?"

"Oh, don't even get me started on that asshole! Firstly you staggered out of my dad's car and threw up all over our lawn… and over yourself! Do you really think I am going to let you soil my bed with stinking sick all over your clothes?"

"Why didn't you wake me, I would have moved back into the spare room?"

"We tried to, but you kept saying you were lonely so I told-"

"Wait! What do you mean WE?"

"My dad and me. You were so wrecked he had to help me get you out of the car and upstairs, and then I called him to try and wake you up. I was actually quite happy for you to sleep in here but I tried to wake you because I didn't want you waking up and freaking out on me, just like you have."

"Right, so… I mean, your dad knows I slept in your bed… naked?"

"My dad knows I am gay, we have no secrets. You sleeping in my bed is of no worry to him. So anyway, your stuff is downstairs in the dryer after I washed it for you. I didn't touch you or anything, I just wanted to keep you safe due to the meltdown you seemed to have last night."

"Troy, I'm…"

"Apology accepted. Just go have a shower will you, you reek of booze and you look like shit!"

Troy looked at me coldly while I just sat there looking at him like a rabbit in headlights. Eventually I got up and made my way to the bathroom remembering his directions. I found a bath sheet rolled up sitting in a trendy clamp on the wall. Pulling it out I unrolled it before turning on the shower. Compared to home the water pressure here was awesome and despite me being pretty freaked out with the current situation I did relish jumping in Troy and Jerry's supersonic spray that was pounding down onto the floor of the bath.

I slid off my boxers and stepped in, pulling the glass shield parallel with the bath. I let out a long sigh as the water immediately started to cleanse me not to mention make me feel more alive.

"Here are your clothes," Troy announced making me jump. Although he couldn't see all of me through the frosted glass I instinctively cupped my dick and balls with my hands, feeling prudish all of a sudden.


"No worries, there is a spare toothbrush in the draw below the sink; you're welcome to use it."

"Thanks! Troy?"


"I am sorry; I mean if I sounded ungrateful, you know?"

"It's fine. You were an asshole to me last night but I put it down to your situation and your drunken state, but with your behaviour this morning you can understand why I am wondering if I have 'mug' written across my head."

"Thanks for being there for me, was I out of order last night?"

Troy sat on the toilet seat placing his elbows on his knees. "You kept asking me to kiss you, but I didn't."


"After the boat, you know, what you said? I thought maybe it was drunken talk and I didn't wanna get my hopes up. Plus with you being drunk and all that would have been taking advantage."


I lathered myself up with the shower gel I found and we both let the room fall into silence as I washed my body and hair.

Seeing I was almost done Troy got up and grabbed the towel I'd chosen. I saw he was careful not to peek at my body probably knowing I would be embarrassed so he put his hand round the glass looking away from me just as I turned off the water.

"Thanks," I said, wrapping it around my body and stepping out.

He stood there against the wall with his arms folded while I took out the tooth brush from the draw he'd mentioned and started to brush my teeth.

"Where is your dad?" I asked, my mouth full of paste.

"At work… he suggested I take the day off to keep an eye on you."

"Damn, but you won't get paid right?"

Troy shrugged. "Money ain't everything is it?"

"I guess," I replied, rinsing.

"So what are your plans?"

"My plans?"

"Do you remember me telling you your dad is home?"

My eyes went wide. "NO! Fuck, well that's just great! Jesus my life is such a mess!"

Troy came over to me and took my hands in his. "Look, I dunno if this is a little forward of me, but while you were passed out last night I had a chat with my dad about you."

"Go on," I said, my tone suspicious.

"I was going to suggest that if you wanted you could come and stay here for a few days, you know, until things settle down a bit. My dad says a few days would be fine but anything longer term he'd have to consider a deduction in pay or something."

I suddenly felt bemused, especially by the pay comment. "Looks like you talked about quite a lot, you seem to have it worked out."

"Hey, don't get angry, I'm just trying to help."

I sighed. "I'm not, and thank you, it was a real nice thing to do, sorry If I got a little defensive."

"It's cool, I just want you to know I'm here if you need me."

I smiled. "Listen I also don't know if this is a little forward of me but…"

I took Troy's head in my hands and pressed my lips onto his feeling his body suddenly tremble as I pushed my tongue gently inside his warm sweet mouth. I opened my eyes seeing his were closed and then pulled away.

"Wow!" he said, beaming a grin.

"There, not drunk!"

"But… but why?"

"Because I just got out of bed so you'd expect me to be sober," I teased.

"No, I mean why did you do that?"

I shrugged. "Dunno, because you're cute maybe?"

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