Puppy for Sale
by James Matthews
Chapter 30
Get Well Soon
It's a strange feeling when you say or hear something profound. The most insignificant background sounds suddenly appear with such clarity as you wait for a reaction from the person or people involved. Today was one of those times. It was a mix of them today... a soft breeze blowing through the leaves of the many Horse Chestnut trees, their branches creaking in protest. The high pitched screams of a few children playing in the distance... and of course that small aeroplane that buzzes overhead, which is usually a common one at times like this.
Susan, was thinking, I could see it on her face as I intently watched her. It was like she was waiting for all the words she wanted to say to form in an immaculate order before speaking them. By her expression, this revelation of mine was going to go one way or the other. For me, I knew by now that liking people of the same sex was not really going with the grain of Mother Nature, but yet. It didn't feel wrong or sordid.
I just really hoped she felt the same.
"Erm, Susan, can I ask what you're thinking?"
The silence was really starting to bother me now and I didn't know what was going to happen.
"I was thinking how amazing it is how quickly you've told me, and how humble I am with the amount of trust you have placed in me. This is obviously a very difficult subject for you young guys to talk about."
"Huh... how quickly?... what, you knew?"
Susan nodded. "Steven told me a while ago. He said maybe I should talk to you about it, but I told him that I wanted the topic to be discussed at a time when you felt comfortable, and at a time of your choosing."
"But what if I had never told you?"
"I knew you would, as soon as you felt you could trust me and feel comfortable. Puppy, this thing you are admitting is part of a bigger picture. I can never replace your mother, and I would never try, but above all else I want you to trust me with your feelings and emotions. I knew that coming out to me would be the ultimate confirmation that you had reached that stage, and that's why I wanted to leave it for you to approach me on, and not the other way round."
"Coming out?"
"Yeah, it's the process of letting people know you are gay, Puppy... that's what it's called."
"Oh, ok... so I just came out to you?"
Susan laughed, and stroked my hair. "Yeah Button, I think you just did."
I sat and thought for a moment. "So... so, waiting for me to tell you was kind of like testing yourself?"
"To see if I had earned enough trust from you? Yeah I guess it was in a way, that's why I was surprised that you told me so quickly. I knew that I would have to earn your trust, Puppy, and that's what was so nerve wracking when I knew you were coming to live with us. Your father helped by telling me what sort of personality you had. To be honest, having two Stevens would have been a lot harder," She admitted, letting out a small chuckle.
"So you don't care... I mean, you know, with me being..."
"Oh my God, Baby, no of course not, you are who you are, and you are no less perfect now than you were before you told me."
I shook my head quickly and smiled. "I can't believe Steven told you."
She grinned as if remembering something. "It would really surprise you if you knew what he'd said to me."
"Would it, what did he say?"
"He came downstairs, walked straight up to me and said, Mum, Jensen is gay, you and dad need to deal with that and I'm telling you because otherwise he'll just live with the burden. I think you should talk to him, but don't give him a hard time over it!" She laughed again, probably more at my expression, before adding, "Yeah, I know, that was the look on my face, but that's what he said, really."
"Wow," was all I could say.
"He really cares about you, you know that? Probably more than he would ever admit."
"Well I can't deny, it certainly seems that way from what he said ... wait a minute, does my dad know?"
"Nope, it's like I said to you, when you feel comfortable then you can tell him, but if you would rather I tell him that's fine, Honey."
"I'm not sure... how do you think he will take it?"
"Pfft, he'll probably shrug and say, OK. You know he will, that's just who he is. When have you ever known your father to get upset about anything? He's just not that kind of person. He takes as he sees and he's been like that since I first met him."
"I guess."
"C'mon, let's go grab some food, all this talking has made me hungry. Do you need help getting up?"
"Maybe just a little."
As we sat on the wooden bench outside the little kiosk I tucked into my bacon sandwich. Susan had some kind of flatbread, toasted with mozzarella and roasted vegetables, it actually looked really good. Two large gas heaters were throwing warm air towards us and I felt in a really good place.
I wondered how someone could have been so cruel and violent to this woman. Her heart was so warm and caring and she oozed love and compassion on a scale that I had never witnessed before. Well, maybe Cindy was on that level but somehow it felt different.
"So tell me," she said, while munching. "Is there anyone you like?"
"What do you mean," I replied, as a dribble of ketchup ran down my chin.
"As in boys, are there any boys you like?"
I chuckled nervously. "I dunno why, but it just feels weird you asking me that."
"Aww, don't be shy, I'm interested."
"Well there is one, but to be honest, all these feelings are pretty new to me and most of the time I just feel confused. I mean, I know I like him, but I don't know how I am supposed to feel about him, does that make sense?"
"I think so, so is it anyone I know?"
I looked at her for a moment, picking up a strange vibe from her face. It was like she was fishing for something.
"If you wondering if it's Steven... or rather if you are worried it is Steven, then its ok, it's not."
Well it is as well, but I'm really not going to admit that to you, eeek, I thought, but didn't dare say.
Susan snorted. "Oh God, now that would be complicated. No Honey, I don't care who it is, I just don't want you to fall into any traps with your feelings. If you do like someone it's important to understand that they might not have the same feelings for you and-"
"Steven told me about this... he said that I should not try and hit on a straight guy, was the term I think he used."
"Susan, cackled loudly, banging her hand on the table. "Oooh dear... well yes, that was what I was getting at, but it looks like Steven just came straight to the point then."
"Yeah, he normally does, doesn't he."
"Uh huh, so anyway, who's the guy, and do I know him?"
"Oh, right, well yeah I think so... its Steven's friend Dave, I think he is very nice."
"Aww, Dave, yes he is a very polite young man. It's funny, I was thinking that if it was anyone out of Steven's friends then it would probably be him... and way to go, he's a very handsome boy."
I blushed, still trying to get used to Susan's relaxed approach to a subject I thought was going to be much more difficult for both of us!
"Yeah he is, but like you have said, I don't know if he has the same feelings as me."
"Button, I once read a statistic that said one in every ten people in the world was attracted to the same sex. Dave might be, he might not be, but just be aware ok? I'm not going to lecture you... I know Steven will instead, but just be prepared that many other boys will not feel the same as you do."
"Oh that part I learnt a while ago, Susan. The hard part is finding out who is and who isn't."
Susan howled, "Oh Puppy, ask any gay person and they will probably sympathise with you on that conundrum. But hey, as time goes on people are becoming more and more open about their sexuality. I mean, when I was your age, men didn't even talk about it, let alone admit it. It was frowned upon... and if you were from a religious background, well that was ever so more difficult."
"Really? So what did they do... how did boys let each other know they liked each other?"
"Hmm, well most of the time, in complete secrecy. I guess there were special meeting places, some more desirable than others that they went to. But it was nothing like the freedom you can enjoy today, oh no. In my day, gay people very much lived in the shadows and it must have been terrible for them... which is why I am so happy you felt you could tell me your secret and not be scared."
"I was still scared, believe me," I stated, eating the last bite of my sandwich.
Once we'd got back home I went upstairs to lie on my bed. My foot was absolutely killing me. I knew it must have been because I had put too much pressure on it at various stages during our outing and I just hoped the two extra strong pills I had swallowed would make that go away.
I pulled out my phone and started playing around with it, hoping the distraction might take away the throbbing sensation I was experiencing. Having removed my plastic support boot I was able to get some feeling back in my ankle which had also been annoying me.
Closing my eyes briefly I suddenly heard the front door click open, with the sound of two voices chatting away, getting louder. Through their constant laughing I could tell one was obviously Steven, but the other, although familiar, had not really spoke enough for me to work out who it was.
Susan hollered up the stairs to welcome her son and his friend home and I heard the name, Dave somewhere in her words. It sounded like they were turning round and going back down stairs, obviously to talk to Susan, but either way I was now scrambling to get off the bed and smarten myself up. I hobbled into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror... notably my face, hair and clothes.
I looked a windswept wreck, dammit!
I tried to style my short blond hair in the mirror to give it some life before patting my clothes down... not that the act was going to make a blind bit of difference, apart from psychologically of course. Splashing some hot water on my face I tried to bring back some colour to my still rather cold and pale face. The breeze in the park had made me look as white as a ghost and I tried desperately to alleviate that, even slapping my cheeks a few times.
I hobbled back out of the bathroom feeling I had done all I could. Just as I got out of sight and back onto my bed I heard the two guys coming up the stairs again.
Steven burst into our room like he always did; with that kinda forcefulness he emits, and threw himself on to his bed. Dave walked in moments later still talking away to Steven, but stopped when he saw me.
"Hey Sicknote, what have you been up to, masturbating?" Steven teased me, making a sign with his hand. I rolled my eyes to let him know I was above his comment.
"Actually, I went out with your mum for a chat and lunch... oh and you and I need to have serious words later... and, hello Dave." I finished, putting on my best smile.
"Hello Jensen, how are you feeling?" Dave asked. I didn't get a chance to answer.
"Oooh, I'm really scared now... serious words, I'll make sure I don't fall asleep." Steven interjected. I ignored him, my concentration now fully on Dave's presence in the room.
Dave eased his school bag off his back and unzipped it before pulling something out. It was a brown miniature bear which read get well soon on its belly. He held it out to me and I let it sit in the palm of my hand.
"Just a little something to keep your spirits up," Dave said. "Steven suggested you would like it, so I got it for you at lunch."
"Wow, thank you, it's really... cute," I declared, now blushing.
"I thought it would be your sort of thing. I of course, got you nothing because just having my company at night is a big enough gift," Steven said, flexing his biceps. Dave sat down on Steven's bed.
"So how is your foot Jensen? I see it is quite well wrapped there," Dave asked, nervously.
"It's hurting at the moment as I've been walking on it too much, but I'm sure it will get better. Thank you by the way, for what you did again." I said, blushing. "I guess you saved me. In some cultures you would own my life."
"The nail had to come out Jensen, I was worried about infection had it been left in there too long."
"Well you know more than me Dave; I wouldn't have known what to do." I stated, shifting myself to a sitting position.
Steven cut in, "It was certainly a large one as far as I could see." He winked at me. It was interesting to see who was blushing more now, me or David.
"Oh stuff it Steven. Everything has to be about sex with you doesn't it?" I just glared at him.
It was Dave to the rescue. "It was nothing, but I'm glad you are ok, it was a nasty wound. Well um... anyway guys I had better be getting home to my mum, I'll see you later, yes?"
"Yeah dude, want me to see you out?" Steven asked, as Dave got up from his bed.
"No, it's ok, I'll be fine. It was nice to see you again Jensen, um... er, well bye then."
With that he grabbed his bag and went to leave for the door. A gentle smile formed on his mouth and he briefly glanced at me. My heart raced a little. The glance and smile probably meant nothing... it was probably just what a friend would do to another, but in my mind I had already convinced myself of it being something more.
"Wow, you've really got it bad for him haven't you?" Steven said, noticing my dreamy faraway look.
"What? Oh shut up Steven... how was school?"
"Crap, how was your day out?"
"Oooh, yes, lets discuss that shall we?"
Steven shrugged. "If you like."
"Why did you tell you're mum about me," I hissed, trying to keep my voice from shouting at him.
"Oh wow... and she's your mum too now you know, did she ask if you were gay?" Steven's eyes seem to light up.
"Well no, I actually told her in a roundabout way."
"Well then, if you told her, quit your whining."
"It's not the point Steven, I trusted you."
"Whoa, now hang on just a minute there sailor boy, you never said anything about me not telling mum, and besides I did it because I wanted to help you."
I sighed. "Ok so perhaps I didn't specifically ask you not to say anything to her, but don't you think the topic was something I should have done in my own time and of my own choosing?"
"You did, didn't you? So like I said, quit your whining."
"You have me on a technicality, but the principle remains." I stated, folding my arms and huffing.
"Sorry, now you are bombarding me with big words, I can't compete with that," Steven said, a sly smile forming on his face. I started to grin too. His fucking ability to answer back so annoying, but yet so comical.
"Look, Steven, I know why you did it, and I heard how you said it, so I'm not angry at all. I just wish you didn't keep announcing to everyone that I like guys, it's really embarrassing."
"Or you could look at this this way... everyone you know... knows. So you can get on with your pretty little life and not worry about having to tell them later on."
"You have a point I guess."
"Yeah, normally in the mornings," He said, rubbing his groin.
I grinned. "Ok, I think I get this one. You are referring to your morning erection right? Was that the joke?"
"Well done Shithead, you are starting to learn the basics of innuendos, which are the most important tools in the art of banter. Speaking of learning things how is the jerking off coming along?"
"Fine, if you must know, not that I get much privacy."
"Meh, just do it in the shower like I do, with the water running, no one can hear you," he chuckled.
"I'll remember that next time you help me shower." I shot back, wearing an evil grin.
"Funnyboy! And I'm not doing that again, it was too traumatic for me."
"But you have to, I'll stink otherwise and it won't be pleasant having to sleep with me in this room if I start smelling."
"I'd rather pay a pound for some air freshener than go through that again."
"Fine, be like that, but you'll buckle first, you wait and see."
"Fine, fine... I will help you, but if you stick your ass in my face again, next time I'll insist mum helps you AND I'll ask her to help you with cleaning your donkey cock."
I stuck my tongue out at him and lay back down again. Steven started to remove his tie and take off his shirt, before pulling a t-shirt from his drawer. I watched intently, as next, he started to take off his trousers, revealing his muscular legs. He briefly stood there in his tight boxers while searching for a pair of track bottoms. I felt a surge of blood rush to my penis before finding very quickly it was now pulsating in my jeans.
The feelings I had for Steven both frustrated me, and excited me... it was heaven and hell.
Downstairs, Max had just got in from work and I noticed he was a little quiet. Susan was busy preparing dinner, while Steven set the table. I was just sitting in the kitchen while the two of them chatted about Steven's first day back at school. She asked him if he had any homework, to which he responded, he did, but had no intention of doing it.
"But you'll get detention if you don't do it Steven and then I'll be getting calls from the school."
"It's Maths... I hate Maths."
"Why don't you ask Puppy to help you?"
"I don't mind helping you Steven," I added.
"Mum, his name is Jensen, and he has never been to school, I think I would rather not do it at all than have the humiliation of it being all wrong."
"Hey! I am ok at Maths; I do know some things you know." I said, mildly offended.
"Yeah right... what's two hundred and fifty four times two hundred and fifty four? He asked, randomly.
I wasted no time. "Sixty four thousand five hundred and sixteen... am I right?"
Steven shifted backwards, his eyes and mouth wide open. "Mum... mum, is he right, he can't be right surely."
"I don't know honey; Maths is not my strong point." Susan responded, mixing some gravy in a jug.
"I think you just made that up douchebag, I'm gonna get a calculator to prove it," Steven said, leaving the kitchen. I ran the sum through my head once more just to double check. I think I had it right.
Moments later Steven walked slowly back into the kitchen looking at me as if I was an alien.
"So was I right?" I asked casually.
"That is sick," he replied, holding up the calculator to me.
I shrugged. "Lucky guess... I guess."
"Never mind that, you're hired. Our room, seven sharp!"
I gave him a nod, just before Max walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. He looked clean and smelt fresh obviously coming straight from the shower.
"Good day, Honey?" Susan asked, putting the food onto plates.
"I've some news, but let's wait until we are all seated first," he replied, sounding rather down.
Steven and I looked at each other, and then back at Max, who looked like he had the world on his shoulders.
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