Puppy for Sale
by James Matthews
Chapter 22
O' Come All Ye Faithful
"What is it?"
"Open it and find out silly," Max replied.
I viewed the small box located on the kitchen table with suspicion. It was wrapped in gold paper and laced up with silver ribbon. I was in a unique situation having never received a gift from anyone without it being Christmas.
"Just open it douchebag," Steven said as he walked into the kitchen, heading to the fridge.
"Quiet Steven, if you can't talk nice then-" Max started.
"Don't talk at all," Steven finished off his sentence in a mimicking voice. Max just ignored him and turned his attention back to me.
I slowly picked up the parcel and started to unwrap the foil like paper. It felt quite light, which only went to deepen my curiosity. I looked over at Susan who was trying to hide a smile with her hand, and then Max that seemed almost as excited as I was starting to get. Finally, I got the first piece of paper completely off revealing part of the box, then I stopped.
"OH MY GOD! You didn't?" My expression seemed to prick Steven's ears up as I began to fully unwrap a brand new cell phone. "Wow, a phone... my very own phone."
"A phone... is he for real dad?" Steven whined. "Jensen, that's not just any phone, that is the latest iPhone... and I wanna know why it is newer than the model I have."
"Steven, your contract is up in two months, you can have the latest model when I renew it. Can't you just try and be a little happy for your brother, seeing as he never had a phone before?" Susan barked at him. Steven didn't say a word, instead he opted to take his poured drink and march out of the kitchen before stomping up the stairs. Max counted down from three, before laughing as we all heard the bedroom door slam shut.
"I hope I didn't cause any problems," I asked, feeling bad Steven was upset AGAIN.
"We call it a Teenasulk, Puppy. He'll get over it."
"Sorry I didn't recognise it as an iPhone, Steven says it is pretty special right, I hope you don't think I am being ungrateful, but I don't know anything about cell phones."
"Don't be silly Puppy, I got you that one because it's what Steven has and I thought it would save arguments down the line. Guess I forgot to include model ages in that theory." Max replied, rolling his eyes toward Susan, who shrugged.
"Kids these age are lucky to have phones, that's all I can say," Susan said, her statement thankfully aimed at Max.
"Anyway, enjoy it Puppy, I'm sure you will figure out how to use it quickly, if not ask Steven, it might break some more ice between you both seeing as he loves playing with new gadgets."
"That might be a good idea actually. I'll try that out later when he seems a little happier."
"Anyway enough about phones, Susan tells me you got a complete new wardrobe today AND had your first McDonalds."
"Oh Max, it was so awesome, I got to pick out some really cool clothes and the Burger and milkshake I had was just..."
"Fucking A?"
"MAX!" Susan, cried.
"Sorry honey, Sorry Puppy, I meant... it was really good yeah?" Max sniggered like a naughty school boy.
"All I can say is I had the greatest day since... well since ever."
Susan beamed a smile at Max as if to confirm she had passed the test with me. Not that there was a test. Unlike some kids I knew from Greenstone I never expected my parents to cost out my love for them. I was just happy to have a roof over my head and two people that loved me.
"Well I'm really glad... in fact I am thrilled you had a good time, Puppy. What's for dinner honey?"
"Pork chops, you want fries or mash potato with it?"
"Mash please," Max replied. "I better go shower, I've got tree sap all over my arms, I'll be down soon."
Round the dinner table Steven seemed more talkative as we each munched away on Susan's delicious pork chops. At least he wasn't just sitting there staring me down tonight which made me feel less on edge. However, dinner round a table with family was a whole new concept to me and I still had the classic knots in my stomach as I tried to enjoy what really was lovely food.
"Did you see Billy today, Stevie?" Susan asked, as the clink, clink of cutlery rang in the air.
"Nah, he's got Chicken Pox, Just me, Dave and Jessie today."
"What did you get up to?" Max asked.
"Fishing mostly, down at the Cutters farm. Jessie caught a big one just as we were packing up."
"Nice, did he take it home to his parents?"
"No mum, it's not that sort of fish, we just put it back and went boarding."
"What's Boarding?" I asked, trying to get in on the conversation.
"Skateboarding," Steven replied, unusually civil.
"Do you have your own board?"
"No, I'm not that good at it, I just mostly watch my friends."
"You should go with them one day Jensen, meet some new people."
"Er, mum, I don't think Jensen and my friends would be... compatible."
"Aww, why not, I'm sure you would all get along just fine, and anyway I know most of your friends and they all seem nice and polite, you could learn a few things from them Steven."
"Whatever mum, can I go now, I said I would chat to Billy on Skype tonight."
"Yes, just put your plate in the sink... and no loud music up there you hear me." She said, firmly. Steven got up from the table with his plate and dumped it in the sink before heading off and upstairs.
"Would you like me to load the dishwasher, Susan?" Susan didn't reply at first, she just looked at me intently, then slowly shook her head.
"Where were you made Jensen Stibbings, I'd like to get my hands on more of your kind." She turned to Max. "So polite, isn't he."
"Well he didn't get it from me," Max replied, with a chuckle.
"Well we all know that," was Susan's response.
I ended up not waiting for an answer to my question and once I had gotten up from the table with my own plate, I began loading the dishwasher until everything was in.
"It's getting dark outside, can I go down and make sure Annie and Clarabelle are in bed? I think they need locking down for the night."
"Wow, you learn quickly, sure Puppy, be my guest, it will save me doing it. Here, you see that switch over there?" Max pointed. "If you hit that it will turn the flood lights on in the yard and you'll see better."
I walked over to the kitchen doorway and hit the switch Max pointed to, as explained the Yard lit up in a bright yellow light and I stepped outside. It didn't feel that cold tonight as there was hardly any wind, but you could feel Winter was well on its way.
I got to the bottom of the garden and it appeared that both the girls had put themselves to bed. I pulled down the plastic sheet on their inner enclosure to keep any cold out and locked down the outer run. Max had explained that foxes were common during the night and if they were allowed to get inside the picture in the morning would probably be quite gruesome. I was just about to leave when I saw two dirty half buried eggs in the corner of the run that they both must have laid. Carefully I scraped away the earth and picked them up, before walking back to the house, looking real proud.
"Look what I got!" I said, causing Max and Susan to look round at me.
"Eggs, cool," said Max. "You wanna have them for your breakfast tomorrow?"
"Really, both of them?"
"Sure honey, Steven hates eggs and I normally have yoghurt and fruit in the mornings so-"
"Oh that reminds me," Max blurted, cutting Susan off. "Ten o'clock, Puppy! I have you booked into see Doctor Burrows at ten o'clock tomorrow."
"Oh... oh right, ok."
"Yeah sorry, I forgot to mention it; I was too busy giving you your new phone."
"Are you taking tomorrow off work?" Susan, asked.
"Just the morning, I would really like to be there for him when he comes out. Do you wanna come along with me?"
"Hmm, well I did promise I would go to the ladies darts team meeting, but I guess I could cancel."
"No honey, you go to that, Puppy and I will be ok. Besides, they need you on that team, you are the best player after all."
Susan did a high pitch giggle, slipping out the odd snort in the process. "Flattery will get you everywhere Mr Chase." She said standing on tip-toes and giving him a kiss on the lips.
"Shall we retire to the lounge and see what crap is on TV?" Max suggested. "Are you joining us Puppy, or heading up to bed?"
"I'll head up if you don't mind, its been another long day and I am pooped."
"Aww, well I am glad you enjoyed it Jensen honey. I have left all your stuff on your bed, all washed through... just put it away tomorrow for me please?"
"Sure thing Susan, and thank you for taking me out, I really had a brilliant day." With a smile from them both, plus the mandatory kiss and a hug, I left the kitchen and headed upstairs.
As I entered the room Steven was sitting at his computer thing, typing away. He had his earphones on again and looked to be unaware I was in the room. I just ignored him, closed the door and went over to my bed which was full of bags from today's splurge. I began gathering them up handle by handle and then pulled the whole lot off letting them sit by the side of my bed.
I was about to leave for the bathroom when I saw that Steven had left something under my pillow. Investigating I noticed it was black and shiny and looked like an oversized phone.
"It's a tablet," Steven suddenly said, making me jump, nearly dropping the thing.
"What?" I said, seeing that he was now looking straight at me, his earphones now removed.
"That thing you were looking at like some cave man who just discovered fire... I was saying, it's a tablet."
"I know what you said Steven and just don't understand why I have it, did you leave it there by mistake... is it about to go off in my hand?"
"It's a peace offering actually, but if you don't want it then give it back and fuck off."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be sarcastic, I just didn't expect you to do something like that."
"Well maybe I have had time to think about stuff... about you."
"I... I don't know what to say."
"Well you could start with thank you."
"Thank you Steven."
"You're welcome Jerkoff."
"Erm, so... so what does this thing actually do?"
Steven slapped his cheeks with his hands. "Was everything in that kid prison of your run on steam? It's like a mini computer, you can do stuff on it. It's my old one, I don't use it anymore."
"Will it do the same stuff as your big thing over there?" I asked, pointing to Stevens machine on a desk.
"Don't tell me you have never seen a PC before?"
"Yeah I have, they had those at greenstone, but they didn't look like that, yours has all flashing lights on it."
"It's a gaming rig, I built it myself from individual parts. The ones you get in offices, which I'm guessing you are talking about, are just for word processing and spread sheets."
"Oh, ok well I think I understand now."
"Good, well enjoy the tablet and try not to get jizz on it, it could break it."
"Sorry what?"
"Jizz... you know, cum, spunk, juice, nut water, baby gravy."
"I'm sorry; I don't know what those words mean. But I will try not to get orange juice, water or... gravy on it, not that it is ever likely to get near gravy." I said, pulling a face. Steven just knocked his forehead with the palm of his hand and went back to his computer. "Well, I am going to take a shower Steven, thank you for the gift, and for the peace offering."
"No need to announce your bathroom habits, and no worries shithead. See you soon."
Standing under the shower at this house was a whole new experience. Firstly the speed the water came out was... well actually it hurt your skin. Back at Greenstone the shower in my room was poor. Secondly, the cleaning soap Susan and Max got was so much nicer smelling than whatever they brought in ay the home. My whole body smelt of sweet strawberries and I just wanted to drink the stuff from the bottle.
After rinsing off I got out of the shower shivering and quickly grabbed a towel. I began to scrub myself down until my cold wet skin started to not feel so affected by the cool air. Sorting my hair out in the half steamed up mirror I wrapped the towel round my waist and left the bathroom for our bedroom.
Steven was now on his bed doing something on his phone as I walked in, closing the door. Completely forgetting I had no underwear on I froze next to my bed and thought for a moment. I was so used to coming from my own little bathroom back into my single room at Greenstone I nearly forgot where I was and just dropped the towel.
This new routine was going to be hard to get used to.
"You know Jensen, just when I start to think you have normal tendencies as well as the crazy ones, you go and let me down... why the fuck are you standing still in a towel looking at a blank wall?"
"I forgot to put underwear on before I came back in here. I was wondering how to get some on while in the company of another person without them seeing anything. I hope you admire my honesty."
Steven laughed. "Well, I give you something, it's not quite the honesty I was expecting but full credit to you. I have an idea... why don't you just go to the drawer, take out some underwear, and put it on. Would that seem like an easy thing to do?"
"And you wont..."
"Look? Fuck Jensen, Of course I'm going to look, I wanna see what you got down there." Steven cracked up laughing on his bed sending my face to the top colour of a traffic light.
"Guess it's time to admire your honesty, but please can you turn away, I really feel uncomfortable."
Steven sighed, before bouncing on to his left side. "Happy now?"
"Yeah, thanks." I replied, taking some black trunks from my drawer. I scuttled back to the side of my bed and just as I dropped the towel, fucking Steven flipped over catching an eyeful of my...bits.
"Whoa, fuck man!"
"Steven you promised," I squealed.
"Jesus, you gotta be packing six inches flaccid down there. Man If I were you I would be dropping towels every opportunity I got, THAT thing is nothing to be ashamed of."
I quickly pulled on my underwear and got into bed. "That is not the point Steven, I don't care about its size, it's just not something I like having dangling out to people, don't you think that is reasonable?"
"Meh, I know what I would be doing with that in a couple of years... I would be taking a job as a porn star." Steven said matter of fact.
"And what does a porn star do? I am now guessing it has something to do with dicks?"
"What? Are you really asking what a porn star is? Are you telling me you never had any spank mags in your kid prison?"
"Spank mags?" Steven, look I know you don't understand this very well, but to me, it's like you are talking this foreign language. I don't know what all these things are." I said, becoming irritated that everything he talked about seem to be alien to me.
"Ok ok, let me explain...so a porn star is a person that has sex for money right? I mean, you know what sexual intercourse is yes?"
"Jesus, this is embarrassing," I muttered under my breath. "That is where a man puts his...erm, his...his..."
"Penis inside a woman, Corrrrrecto! Good, so a porn star is someone who does that and gets paid for it."
"To make babies?"
"No dumbass, just because, ok? For fun if you really want a reason. So while they are having sex this guy comes round with a camera and either films it, or takes pictures. Obviously the pictures end up in spank mags... or sex magazines, and the filmed stuff ends up as what's called a Porno video.
"But... but why would people want to do that? I'd be embarrassed."
"Because what dad earns in a week they earn in a day, so all morality goes out the window. Plus, it's made for people like you and me!"
"For what?"
"To turn us on, stupid."
"And why would you purposely want to be turned on... I just find that frustrating."
"Shit... are you kidding me? The best thing in the world I ever discovered was when I learned how to choke the chicken, being turned on is the best excuse EVER to do that. Hell I even do it when I'm not turned on," Steven stated, giggling a little.
I cleared my throat in preparation to ask yet another stupid question. "Erm, what is choke the chicken?"
"Oh sorry, I keep using slang don't I... you know like jacking off?" Still nothing. I just looked at him blankly and waited for another clue.
"Wanking?" he said next. Nope, still nothing. Steven eyes were now becoming wide with amazement. "Well what word do you use for getting yourself off then, perhaps that would help us to understand each other."
"Getting myself off?"
"Jesus this is hard work," he muttered. Before I could ask what he was talking about he took his hand and made a circle from his fingers and shook his arm up and down.
I shook my head and shrugged. "Sorry, now you have totally lost me."
Steven's mouth was wide open and his expression was one of total shock, I actually thought he was going to keel over. That was until a wide grin came over his face.
"Very good... ok you win, you got me, well done." He said, clapping his hands.
"Huh?"
"It's ok, I've been had, you can stop messing around now."
"I'm not messing around, I'm sorry if I gave you that impression," I said, my face still serious. Steven's smile was fading fast as he realised I was indeed not messing around.
"Jensen?" he asked, softly.
"Yeah?" I replied, softly too, as if to mimic him.
"Are you telling me that you have never... oh my god this is priceless. Hang on I need a minute here," he said, biting his closed fist.
"Are you ok?" I asked, not sure whether he was about to laugh or scream.
"All I can say right now is you must have so much cum in your balls that if it all goes off it will be Chernobyl all over again."
"Chernobyl was a power plant disaster right?"
"Yeah Jensen, like your ball sack is GONNA EXPLODE!" Steven cried, sounding like it was out of frustration. I just frowned wondering how my ball sack had anything to do with a Nuclear power plant.
"You will need to explain what you mean, I am not getting all this at all." I said shaking my head again.
"Ok, for pure scientific reasons, this calls for desperate measures. Tonight Jensen, right here in this room, I am going to teach you how to experience one of the most mind blowing activities known to the human male.
"Shit Steven, is this even gonna be legal?" I asked, wondering what the hell was about to happen.
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