I Want to Know What Love Is
by James Matthews
Chapter 6
I Can't Stay Away from You
Warning: This chapter contains a graphic storyline which deals with suicide.
It was a bright crisp morning as I adjusted my tie in the mirror. I felt ok, which was not the emotion I thought I was going to feel when I got up this morning. I'd slept well and there were no bad dreams. I kept thinking about the trip back to Greenstone I had with Dad. Things I'd been holding in had been discussed. I'd found out I was not a freak or really fucked up. Nope according to Dad I was Sixteen and Hormonal. That was good right? Normal? Well anyway today I felt confident, fresh and ready for the day!
I had more people who were annoyed with me than weren't but Dad's talk up at the home reminded me that I am a good person that's just made a couple of silly mistakes. I haven't hurt anyone physically, I haven't caused long term damage to anyone and I am my own person. Yep, I was going to slow down, go into school with my head held high and if people wanted to talk to me then fine, and if they didn't then fine as well!
"Boys, get a move on, I want a word in the kitchen before you go," Mum called up. I grabbed my phone and school bag and headed out of my bedroom for the stairs. Steven was just leaving his room as well.
"Wonder what you've done this time," he muttered, elbowing me out of the way so he could get to the stairs first.
We walked into the kitchen and saw Mum sitting at the table. Dad had left for work and there was an eerie quietness about the house as we both stood there looking at Mum, sitting with a steaming cup of tea just in front of her, the kitchen spotless… as usual, after breakfast had finished
"Sit down, both of you." We did as she said. Steven added a huff for good measure. I just had my head down.
"Mum, we need to go soon!" Steven squealed.
"This won't take long and you might want to hear it!" Mum sighed and heaved her body, before wrapping both hands round her cup. "So your father and I had a chat last night, and we have decided that we should not dwell on various incidents that happened over the weekend. Everyone was very angry and emotional and I think a little time has done us all some good."
"Mum, where are you going with this, I really need to get to school."
"Steven!" I said, looking at him frowning, "Just listen, we won't be late."
"I know I'm just waiting for a punchline that's all."
"Well Steven, my dear stubborn mule, your father and I think you have both learned your lesson and will think twice before pulling stunts like that again. In light of that we will release you both from grounding and you have had your things returned. Everything is in the Lounge for you to collect when you get home."
Steven rolled his eyes and started to get up. "You could have just said, we're not grounded anymore."
"Steven, why must you be so ungrateful, and… Oh never mind, but look. I want no more of this behaviour because I will not be responsible for my actions if anything happens like this again. And Puppy, I do NOT want to ever see that boy drunk, hanging round our property! Both be sure that does not happen again, right? RIGHT?"
"YES!" Steven shouted,
"Of course, and sorry again," was my response.
Steven stormed off and slammed the front door behind him. I looked at Mum. "Guess i'm getting to school alone then."
Mum just shrugged and took a sip of her tea. "Just tell Steven he's welcome when you catch up with him."
"Uh… well thanks for cutting us some slack, it was nice of you and Dad, and whatever Steven feels, well, I'm grateful anyway."
"Steven has tantrums, even when good news stares him in the face, Puppy. I'm used to his moods. Now go on, off with you, you don't want to be late."
Taking the shortcut through the marshes to get to school felt strange. I was on my own. No Hunter next to me, No Steven making jokes with Jessie and Billy. I could have even felt ok walking to school with Dave. But today I walked alone.
Walking towards the school gate I could see Cassy straight away. The usual gum in her mouth and a face like a slapped ass. Was she waiting for me or something? I thought as I got closer.
"Hey Wankface, thanks for fucking up my best friends head" she yelled as I got to the gate.
"Cassy, I…"
"Don't Cassy me. You turn up at this school out of nowhere and think you can manipulate your way into people, Well by all means, but not my friends."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
I walked off with my head down. Getting closer to the entrance I saw Billy, Jessie and Dave all talking by the main doors. I decided to detour and go round to the back entrance and make my way in.
Choosing to walk the long way round through a series of corridors to my locker, I looked over my shoulder and hunted around for my key. I expected to see at least one of my friends but there was no one around, just me. I opened it and placed my bag inside and slammed it shut. Finding myself getting worked up by what Cassy had said to me.
I walked away through the mass of people all standing around chatting by their lockers and walked into registration class. There were only a few of my classmates inside the room, all chatting about their weekends. I went and sat at my usual desk and got my timetable out, half listening to what other people were talking about. Jenny and Sara, two girls that hung around together and were always in early, had been to a paintball match, saying how cold they were by the end. Rory, a tall skinny guy, was chatting to Dean about how his dog had swallowed a stone and had to be taken to the vets, I didn't want to even think about my weekend, let alone talk about it.
Looking at my timetable out of the corner of my eye I saw Hunter enter the classroom. We made brief eye contact and he stopped. I looked down and pretended I was still looking at my day ahead. He came and sat next to me and kicked his bag under his seat,
"Surprised you came and sat with me," I said, still looking at my timetable which I'd now probably memorised for the whole week.
"There is nowhere else to sit! How's your neck?"
"A bit sore, but i'll live."
"Meet me later?" he asked, actually turning to look at me.
"I've been told to stay away from you. And why are we meeting, you're bored of me. Usually when people are bored of something they kick it to one side."
"I… I've been a dick. But so have you! I may have said some things that were…"
"Heartbreaking?" I hissed, staring right at him.
"So will you meet me, I just want to talk? I'm in a bad way. Dark thoughts!"
"And that's my fault? Anyway where?"
"Lets go to the marshes, it will be quiet."
"When?"
"Do you have a free period in your time table?"
"Yeah, at Eleven I have fifty minutes."
"Hmm, I don't. But fine, I'll bunk it. See you at Eleven!"
Fine! Oh and just to let you know in advance. I am so fucking angry with you right now… and your bulldog that had a go at me as I walked in."
"Cassy?"
"Yep!"
"She's just protective of me, I'll talk to her."
"Don't bother, the damage is done," I replied definitely.
Mr Dawson walked in as the classroom was filling up. I faced the front feeling angry at Hunter for… well I didn't really know. Nothing. Everything? I didn't know what to feel after our clinical interaction just then. All I knew was I'd agreed to meet him. What for, I didn't know? I did have a thought in my head of how the hell we resolved this. Were we still a couple, had he meant what he said about being bored with me. What was he going to say at the marshes?
"Right class, settle down, I'm sure your weekend was full of excitement, but we're here to learn now, let's get roll call done….MR BOYLE, Again? Calm yourself lad, you'll lose your voice at this rate."
The class noise slowly calmed to a whisper and Dawson sat down at his desk and pulled out some documents from his bag.
Weekend full of excitement? Fucking hell if only he knew, I thought, almost finding humour in his comment.
We all answered roll call and Hunter got up as soon as Dawson said it was ok and walked straight out the room without a word to me or anyone in our class. I just sat there staring at the whiteboard, full of writing from Dawson's last class on Friday.
Group after group started to leave the classroom until it was just me and a few others. Mr Dawson got up from his desk and came over to me.
"How are you settling Jenson, something troubling you?"
I looked up at him and smiled. "Oh, I'm fine Sir, and yeah settling in fine." Mr Dawn smiled back and walked back to his desk. I got up and slipped my timetable into my blazer pocket and wandered back to my locker."
I felt a tap on my shoulder while putting my key in to get my bag for first class. For a split second while I was turning to see who it was I thought it might be Steven, but no, it was Dave. he looked serious.
"Hi." Dave said, smiling lightly.
"Uh… Hi. What can I do for you?"
"I… I, uh heard, you know about Saturday? I, erm, I just wanted to say, I uh, well I'm sorry that happened to you."
"Thanks, that means a lot. Have you been ok?"
"Not really, you know, stuff at home, and…"
"Yeah, I know the other."
"Sorry I was such a child, I was just really cut up seeing you both together after us."
I waved my hand. "Apology accepted, It's in the past. And if i'm honest, I could have been a bit more considerate of your feelings at the time. As my Dad reminded me, I just need to slow my life down. Thing is, when everything's happening so fast you forget about other people's feelings. I've learnt from that, so I'm sorry too."
"Hey, it's absolutely fine and you know, now you and Hunter have split up, maybe we can hang out a bit?"
I looked at Dave and raised a brow. "Huh? Who said we'd split up?"
"Oh, well the guys said… well you know after what he did…" Dave looked at my neck. "I just assumed."
"Dave, look, I need to get to class. Right now I don't know what's going on. See ya yeah?"
I didn't wait for a reply and just walked away. I had Science to get to and Dave's comment about me and Hunter splitting up had pissed me off. And all the fucking guys were talking about me as well. Grrrr!
After playing with some chemicals and making things fizz and pop the bell went for the end of class. I'd burnt myself slightly on a Bunsen, but it had been a fun lesson which actually took my mind off stuff.
I got out of class and went to the toilet. I scrolled through my phone as I took a piss at the urinal. I clicked on my app called FastPIC which everyone seemed to use and had a look through to see what other people had posted. It was a simple app, just pictures and then you could type up to fifty letters to leave a comment.
ZIpping up my trousers I wandered over to the sink, still scrolling and came across a picture of Brad, carrying his rubber pipe and right in the corner could just about make out Hunter and this other guy that had his hand down his trousers. I zoomed in, but it was too blurry to see anything. There were some general comments about what a good night people had. The picture had been posted by CheekyHamster3245. I didn't know who that was, but I intended to find out.
I got through geography without actually falling asleep but I could feel my eyes going. Both the subject and the teacher just bored me. I guess being In Greenstone for so long, other places don't seem important. We learned about what territories the UK used to control and how they were made independent. It was hardly exciting seeing as it had already happened.
The bell went at ten forty five and I collected my books and stuffed them in my bag. I rushed away from my desk and ran back to my locker almost knocking a first year girl over. Apologising, I made it to my locker and threw my bag in before heading down to the main entrance.
I arrived at the hole in the fence that led on to the marshes and looked around for
Hunter. It was ten fifty six. Maybe I was early, maybe he was going to be late.
While waiting I could feel a sense of adrenaline starting to pulse through me. I felt angry, but sad, maybe even a little frantic.
Where the fuck was he?!
I kept looking at my watch so much I didn't see him creep up behind me. It was two minutes past eleven.
"Late!"
"You're kidding me, I'm like one minute after eleven. I had to bunk a lesson, don't forget?"
"Sorry, I just have this anxiety about time."
Hunter and I spent a minute in this weird circling motion, just slowly walking around each other without talking until he stopped and looked at me intently.
"I wanted to say, uh…"
"Can I speak first?" I asked, cutting him off.
He nodded, nervously almost. "Sure, go ahead."
"Ok, first this!"
I lunged at him and planted my fist against his cheek as hard as I could. He fell backwards, cried out and quickly brought his hand up to rub his face. My hand fucking hurt as I shook it. We both stared at each other, him nursing his face and me rubbing my hand.
I walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. Hunter dropped his hands to his side and just stood there letting me hug him. "I've never hit anyone before," I whispered. I felt Hunter move his hands up and wrap them around me. "Did I hurt you?" I asked, softly.
"I deserved it. Question is, do you feel better now?"
"No, I thought I might, but all i feel is regret."
I pulled away and he placed his hand back on his cheek and started rubbing it again, looking at me. "You've changed." he said, not explaining.
"I've been crushed by the person I loved...love. Of course I've changed, it's all I think about. On top of that I got certain people telling me you are bad news. I don't know if we are still together or not. I don't know why you grabbed me by the neck when you could have done something different. I don't know why after four months of happiness you turn around to me out of the fucking blue and say I bore you. I don't know why if you were supposed to happy with me you let another guy play with your fucking dick! You bet I've changed!"
I was almost shouting by the end and I felt rage within me. Who the fuck was this guy? I stared at him waiting for answers. He was still the good looking beautiful person I'd been so happy with but my mind was stuck in a groove. That groove being that party. I was torn. Do I walk away?
"Well Say something!" I shouted, holding out my hands.
Hunter dug inside his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it up. He took a big pull on it and blew out a cloud of smoke as he looked at me frowning.
"It feels like you've matured since that party, it's good to see."
"What? Is that it? No answers to my questions, just that?"
"Puppy Stibbs, the quiet shy boy from a children's home, a child that found his family and knew nothing. The boy who found love too quickly and got sucked in. Always learning, getting more confident, more outgoing. The boy who landed a school place and came and sat next to me. So much in so little time."
Hunter shook his head, and took another large pull on his cigarette.
"Are you on something?"
"Hit me!"
I creased my head up and narrowed my eyes. "What?"
"Hit me, i deserve it. C'mon big man from the children's home, take a swing."
"No!"
"I'm telling you to hit me, and you do what I say, right?"
"What? No, I'm not hitting you."
I saw a tear run down Hunter's face and he took a step back taking one last pull on his cigarette and threw it away angrily. "So you make your own choices yeah?"
"What?"
"You don't get it do you?"
"Get what? Everything you've said and asked has been a load of… well gibberish!"
Hunter started to cry and I just stood there and watched. "You killed me that night, you know that. You were like some sheep, following that… that fucking junkie. You let him stick a needle in your arm. You just did it, and for what? Because of me, because you were told to, because you were a sheep and did what everyone told you?
Hunter fell on to his knees and sobbed his heart out.
"Hey, it's fine, I'm fine...I didn't know it bothered you…"
"That filth he pumped into you killed my twin bother, and you didn't have the fucking sense to ask what he was giving you. How can I be with someone like that when I don't know if you're gonna just follow what people say and not make your own choices?
"You had a tw…"
"Yeah, Puppy HAD! He was just like you, so fucking naïve, a heart of pure gold and he got taken advantage of and look what happened. And when they did the post mortem he'd been raped and… and they said it was still happening when his heart gave out. They were still fucking him and didn't even realise he was dead!
I put my hand to my mouth and let out a sob, before dropping to my knees and grabbing hold of him. I held him as he cried his heart out. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know… I didn't know!"
"Wh...when you came in after taking that stuff all I saw was him. I didn't know who you were. Yeah I said some horrible things and I didn't mean them. I just wanted to push you away because I can't go through that again. Puppy you are so beautiful and honest and genuine. But you let people lead you to dark places. You are… were a sheep."
"So, I don't bore you?"
Hunter let out a sob. "Of course not, but I'm broken and you are pure and untouched by this world. I can't...I just can't!"
"Can't what?"
"I can't be with you, I'll ruin you, It's what I do, I ruin people with my dark past."
"Hunter, I don't understand, The last four months have been fine and…"
Hunter got up off his knees and stood up, pulling me with him. He wiped his eyes and seemed more together. "You said earlier… you know about people saying I was bad news. They're right. I can't lie to you. While we were together I had sex with two people and let a third do what you saw."
"What the fuck Hunter!" I turned away and started pacing around. "Why would you do that if you were with me?"
"Because I can't help myself. I'm just laying my cards out to you. I don't want to be the one who ends up making you another one of my victims, I love you too much and this is killing me."
I stood there thinking. "So, in a way I did bore you if you felt the need to find… well whatever with other people.
"Listen, I had… we had four great months and it was beautiful and exciting, but I am not the person who will make you happy long term. And I want us to have those memories, never changed, always bright and positive, I have nothing left I can give you. I have nothing left in my life."
"What are you saying?"
Hunter was trying to hold back tears as he stared at me. "My God!"
"What?"
"You're so beautiful, I just want you to know that. And despite what I did, I do love you, I did fall in love with you and I shouldn't have. I got too close. You were not meant to be long term. Nothing with me ends well long term and the more I saw you the deeper I got into you. I knew I would hurt you, and when you were injected with Meth I knew I had to step in, be honest and let you go. But I wanted to save you first. I didn't want you to be my brother."
"I forgive you," I sobbed. "We can be good together, we love each other, why are you pushing me away?"
"You were like a comic book, As much as I tried to put you down, I just kept wanting to read on and explore you. We've both had shit pasts and at first I wanted to fix you, but you're not broken. But...but instead of realising you were not broken, the things I was doing would of in the end broken you so I was… Oh fuck i don't know!"
"Please Hunter, I am in so deep with you, I can't just let you push me away, I want to be with you. Whatever you've done It doesn't matter."
"Will you promise me something?"
"What? Of course!"
"Promise me that you will make good choices and never NEVER be led on by people. You be your own person. Don't do drugs, don't smoke, don't fall in with people who are bad people. Just basically don't be me, or my twin brother. Puppy, you're pure gold. An untouched innocent and beautiful person. Handsome… stunningly handsome. You can have anyone you want, but make sure they treat you well."
"Hunter, I don't want anyone else I want to be with… Hunter, what are you doing?"
Hunter reached into his back pocket and pulled out something shiny. He pressed something on it and a blade flicked out.
"Hunter, what is that? What are you doing," I asked, calmly, holding out my hands.
"Please tell my brother I'm sorry, and that I love him."
"Hunter, please put that down and look at me. Hunter Look at me and please put that down."
More tears fell down hunters face as he stepped backwards, sobbing. "I love you Puppy!"
"Hunter, no, no, no… Hunter!"
Hunter placed the knife against his neck sobbing and started to pull the blade. As I saw blood start to pour out I lunged towards him and ripped the knife out of his hand. He collapsed backwards. I managed to stop him falling on his head by taking his weight in my hands as Blood gushed over my shirt.
"FUCK, HUNTER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" I screamed sobbing. I ripped my blazer off and pressed it hard against his neck. "What do I do, what do I do...HELP!!!!"
I saw a man coming towards us, he was already running when I saw him.
"What's happened?" the man said hastily
"He had a knife...I don't know what to do!"
The man pulled out his phone and dialled a number. I went back to Hunter who was now coughing with blood, It was now over his teeth and coming out of his mouth. I pushed harder on the wound.
"I Love you so much, don't do this to me, Stay with me Hunter.
"I...I have nothing left to...to live for. You are Jensen...Stib...Stibbings. Go be your ow...own person."
Hunter started to choke and I felt helpless. He closed his eyes and the man came closer.
"An ambulance is on the way. Keep talking to him. What's your name Son?"
"Jensen, is he gonna die?" I asked, choking back tears.
"Jensen, you have to stay calm. It's not looking good but keep talking to him ok, help is on the way. Is that your school?"
"Yeah, over there...Hunter, Hunter stay with me, open your eyes!"
"I'm going to get to your school and inform them… he's a pupil there too I assume with the uniform?"
"Yeah, yeah he goes there too. Hunter, open your eyes, C'mon. I kept pressing on the wound and my blazer was now completely stained in blood as Hunter seemed to slip in and out of...whatever was happening.
"I...I...Oh my God, this is so beautiful," Hunter choked. I sat crying pressing ever harder on his neck. He didn't seem to mind. I could hear the ambulance sirens getting closer before looking up and seeing two women in green clothes running towards us.
"Hi, is this your friend?" the first one said to me.
"Yeah, Yeah his name is Hunter, I'm Jensen!"
"Hello Jensen, well done on keeping the wound covered. My name is Debbie, I need you to step away now and we'll take over."
I did as she asked and she immediately took my space where I was. The other person in green came over to me and told me to sit on the grass, and she sat down with me.
"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked.
"We were talking and he was saying stuff and then he pulled this knife thing out and cut his neck."
"How old is he?"
"Uh sixteen, almost seventeen."
"Is he your boyfriend or something?"
"Something like that!"
"Are you hurt in any way or is that his blood?"
"No, no, I'm fine," I replied, feeling light headed, just looking at the other woman working on Hunter. Her hands moved so fast as she tried to stop the bleeding. Pulling things out of her case, and throwing other things to the side.
"Jensen? I think you should come in the ambulance and we'll get you checked over, ok? Jensen are you listening?"
"Yeah, I… uh I don't feel so good!"
"Jensen, you're in a bit of shock. Let me know if you start to feel worse ok?
"Yeah… yeah, ok." was all I could say
"Jensen, I know it looks bad but we're gonna do everything we can to fix him up ok? Things are gonna be going on inside the ambulance when we leave and I need you to stay calm ok?"
"I dunno why he did it, he said he had nothing left in his life, but we were really happy and he had me, and I know his family is a bit fucked up… sorry for swearing."
The lady put her arm around me and smiled. "My name is Trish, by the way." I looked up and saw another man in a green uniform running towards us with a stretcher.
"Hi Trish, we can't get a trolly down here, he'll have to go by flatbed."
"Yeah we thought that."
"How's he doing?" The man asked Trish He went over and started talking to Debbie who was working to try and stop the blood I could see. Hunter's eyes were closed and he'd stopped talking. I was just numb and felt a huge weight in my chest.
Debbie called over to Trish and asked her for something in their bag. I saw Debbie inject Hunter with something and he jolted and opened his eyes and cried out.
"Ok, Lets go, we got this now," Debbie said to Trish and the man. "Jensen, you follow us ok. You better call your parents, too"
"That man, he went to my school."
"Sorry Love, what man?"
"Trish BP is dropping, Heart rate one forty six."
"He had a dog, he called for you."
"He's going to tell your school about this, I assume yes… C'mon Jensen, we need to move quick now"
"Well I think so...uh yeah actually yeah he is." I said, slurring a little. I felt quite unwell.
"Ok Jensen, You're going into a little bit of shock, Derek is going to give you a silver looking sheet, I want you to wrap it round you tight ok. You're gonna start feeling a bit cold and light headed, you'll be fine, let's just get to the ambulance and get you in the warm."
Derek opened his large bag and pulled out what looked like a space age blanket and wrapped it around me. Debbie and Trish were already carrying Hunter away on the stretcher. Derek stayed with me while I got as much as this blanket around me as I could.
"Jensen right?"
"Yeah," I said, shivering.
"Are you ok to walk or do you need to sit for a bit, I have another ambulance so if you need to sit for a while Hunter can still go to the hospital, but I didn't know whether you wanted to go with him. I'm here for you now ok and I'm going to look after you. Jensen? Look at me, and focus."
"What, yeah sure, I'm ok we can go"
"Ok, I'm going to get your blazer and put it in a bag for you, your mum will be able to wash this out later, but first let's get you to your friend."
I was pacing up and down in the hospital corridor, with a nurse telling me I couldn't see Hunter. I glanced to my left and saw Taylor, running towards me, smashing his way through the doors.
"What the hell happened?" Taylor asked frantically.
"I…I think he wanted to die." I replied, starting to sob again.
Taylor was just about to speak again when Dad and Mum came running into the corridor.
"Oh my god, there is blood all over you, are you hurt?"
Mum looked at my white shirt, covered in streaks of blood and my navy blue trousers had spots and hand marks of blood on them.
"I'm fine, it's Hunter's, he did a silly thing." I said, almost calmly, feeling numb.
Dad came over to me and pulled me into a tight hug and I burst into tears, squeezing him as hard as I could. I looked back to see where Taylor was. He had his hands over his face sitting down, his elbows on his knees. I could see him sobbing.
"Dad?"
"Go, Puppy,"
I went over to Taylor and sat next to him, putting my arm round him and holding him tight. He leaned over and we hugged properly and both cried quietly together.
"He's been sad for a few days but wouldn't tell me...This is my fault, I should have known something bad was up."
"Hey, this ain't your fault Taylor. I heard it all today, I think he'd reached a desperate dark place and if anyone is to blame it's me."
"No, don't be stupid. You know, he talked about you non stop. I think he's really fallen for you."
"Then we know as much as each other why he did this."
Taylor and I sat quietly talking and Dad must have asked that we have some space to Mum because they were being really good and leaving us to it, just hovering out of earshot.
I was about to tell Taylor that I knew about Hunter's twin when a person in a blue gown and mask came through a set of doors over to where we were sitting.
"Hello, thank you for waiting patiently, are you the parents," he asked, looking at Mum and Dad. Taylor rushed up and called out.
"Uh, Doctor, I'm his brother...uh, well next of Kin."
"Oh I see, apologies. Would you like to come with me?"
Taylor looked at me briefly. "Sure, can he come?"
"Of course."
I looked up at Mum and Dad and they both nodded. I followed the Doctor and Taylor to a side room and went in.
"So Mr…"
"Just Taylor, please… did you save him, please tell me."
"Ok Taylor, here's how it is. We've managed to stem the bleeding and get several units of blood back into Hunter, but his heart did stop twice as we tried. We managed to get it going again quite quickly so I do not believe there will be any damage to his brain. However we need to get him down to the Theatre to work on this wound as it will need some TLC. Taylor, your brother is a very lucky boy, but yes, I am cautiously confident, we have got him stable now."
Taylor and I both burst into tears again and hugged each other. The relief I felt was almost making me dizzy and I felt a bit sick.
"Now Taylor, this operation will be done immediately, but I want to warn you that this takes Hunter back into risky territory. But it must be done to repair the damage. I know it's a difficult time but we will need your authority to do this and a couple of forms will need to be signed."
Taylor wiped his eyes and looked at the Doctor. "Sure, anything, do it! Could he still… well, not make it?"
"The procedure will be carried out by one of Surgeons that deals in face, neck and head trauma. He's in good hands and I don't want to get your hopes up but I'd say we are looking at an eighty percent chance of success."
"I'll take those odds, thank you."
"I'll leave you both to it then, and again, thank you for being patient while we got Hunter stabilised. I know waiting around is quite distressing."
The Doctor left the room and Taylor collapsed into a chair and gently sobbed. I sat next to him and held his hand which he squeezed tightly.
It was going to be a long day, and I had so many questions. But first, as I said to Taylor. I had better go explain myself to my parents.
I walked out back into the main corridor and both Mum and Dad got up immediately, probably looking at my face for signs of the outcome. As I walked over to them a Nurse went into the side room Taylor and me had been in. I guessed these were the forms she had, but didnt know why they were needed, nor did I think much about them.
"Puppy?" Mum gently asked me, taking one of my shoulders in her hand.
"They erm, they need to do an operation but they got blood back in him. He lost a lot, I know that. I'm not sure how, but the man said he might be ok."
"Oh… oh thats such good news," Mum said, pulling me into a tight hug.
"Want a sugary drink Puppy? You look white as a sheet."
"Yes please Dad," I replied, sitting down on one of the benches. "Mum?"
"Yes Button?"
"Please don't be angry, but… I'm sorry, I love him beyond words. I don't know how to stay away from him."
Mum came and sat down next to me, as Dad went off to get a couple of drinks. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes.
"Puppy, listen. Despite what I said, you did a great thing for Hunter today. I'm not angry at you Button, but we need to discuss things later. Can we do that?"
"Sure," I said, leaning against her.
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