The Life of Matt Summers, Part 3
by Flaming Matt
Chapter 2
April 2015
"Hey it's okay, I know you can do it, I believe in you Matt and I love you so much." Ben says, but his smile drops a little when his boyfriend pulls his hand away and looks away from him. "What's wrong?" He quickly asks, as he looks at his boyfriend in confusion, he then turns to Mitch looking on the verge of tears. "Mitch I don't understand." He then says and tears roll down his face and Mitch moves closer to hold his little brother.
"Matt are you okay?" Dr Smith asks, as he looks into the boys eyes and Matt blinks twice. "Is the pain getting too much for you?" He then asks and Matt blinks twice again, leaving the doctor confused. "Okay do you want to try talking again Matt?" He then asks and is happy when the boy blinks once, he decides to adjust the bed so Matt is sitting up a little, instead of laying down. "Okay take you time and just try to say something, it doesn't matter what you say okay." He then tells the boy, who blinks once.
"I... I... tir... tired... I'm." Matt tries to say but pauses, Dr Smith is about to say something, but Matt tries again before he gets a chance. "I'm... am really tir... tired." Matt just about manages to say, with a very weak smile.
"Oh my god Matt, you can talk, I knew you would, I just knew it." Ben says excitedly and Matt struggles as he turns his head to look at him. "Hey Matt it's me, I knew you would be alright I knew it." Ben adds smiling and he just wants to kiss his boyfriend, but just about manages to hold back.
"I.. I... Ben... I..." Matt tries to say, but can't quite get his words out and then his eyes go wide with fear, as the door to his room opens and his mother rushes in looking excited and happy.
"Matt... Matt it's me... Mummy is here now you're safe...." Sarah starts to say as she reaches her son, but she never gets to finish, as she sees the look on her sons face and freezes, everyone is stunned as they look at Matt.
"Mummy... mummy no no no....NO PLEASE NO MUMMY NOOOO..." Matt screams hoarsely, as his heart monitor starts beeping and his body tenses up in fear and begins to shake violently.
Two Weeks Later
"How am I meant to calm down Mike, my own son is afraid of me, you tell me how I'm meant to cope with that?" Sarah says almost shouting at Mike, who is doing his best to help Sarah deal with things.
It had been two weeks since Matt had woken up and spoken, but it had all been heartache for everyone the moment Sarah had walked into the room delighted to see her son finally awake, but then he had crashed and his heart had actually stopped, the doctors managed to revive him, but they wouldn't allow any visitors into his room for almost three days, when they did it went well enough until Matt saw his mum and freaked out again and it was only the doctor being there to sedate him, that he avoided going into another cardiac arrest and it had devastated everyone, Sarah had be inconsolable and Ben had to be sedated himself after losing all his composure and breaking down.
One week later they tried again, but to his dismay and anger Ben was forced to watch from the outside of the room, while Sarah timidly approached her son, but just like before as soon as he saw her he freaked out looking terrified, although this time they removed his mum quick enough to calm him down without sedating him, but it was clear to everyone that until they understood what was happening Sarah wouldn't be allowed in the room and it was only today that the doctors allowed Ben to go back in.
"Sarah I have no idea what to say to make this better, there isn't anything because it is just so hard to understand." Mike starts of saying, as he places his arm around Sarah's shoulders. "We just have to let the doctors do their job and Colin is more than happy to see Matt, when the doctors are happy he can handle visitors" He then says, he had been doing as much as he could, so Sarah doesn't have to worry about the little things.
"I know and I appreciate everything you're doing for me Mike, but my child, my only child is afraid of me and it's just too much." Sarah responds, as she rests her head on Mikes chest and quietly sobs as he holds her.
Inside the room Mitch watches nervously from the corner of the room, as his little brother stands next to the bed holding his boyfriends hand.
"Matt do you hate me?" Ben asks nervously, as Matt turns his head to face him.
"No." Is all Matt says, before turning away from him again to look at the door, since the brothers had entered the room they had both noticed that Matt rarely took his eyes away from the door and the only times he looked away, was to respond to any questions he was asked and he always kept those responses as small and quick as possible.
"What's wrong?" Ben then asks, Mitch can already tell his little brothers earlier excitement at being allowed to see his boyfriend again was fading and prepared himself for having to carry him out of the room.
"Nothing." Matt replies, without even bothering to look away from the door this time.
"Are you waiting for your Mum..." Ben begins to say, but stops as he feels his boyfriends hand almost crush his own. "Oww... Oww stop it Matt... Oww..." He then cries out as his hand feels like it is being broken and Mitch gets to his feet and is quickly by his little brother's side wondering what is happening.
"Sorry." Matt then says, as he lets go of his boyfriends hand and just carries on looking at the door.
"What happened Ben, are you okay." Mitch asks, he is still not sure what happened, until he sees his little brother holding his hand in pain.
"It's fine, he just squeezed my hand too hard." Ben answers and looks up at his brother, who still looks worried. "Mitch it's fine, I promise." He then says and Mitch goes back to his seat.
"Okay, but be careful." Mitch says as he sits back down, he was worried that just the mention of Sarah caused Matt to react like that, he knew Matt wasn't trying to hurt Ben, but it was obvious he was terrified of his mum.
"Matt please talk to me, I'm your boyfriend and we always tell each other how we feel." Ben then says, he wants to get him to open up and isn't going to give up.
"What time is it?" Matt then asks, he is still looking at the door and ignores the question.
"It's er... like three in the afternoon why?" Ben answers, in a confused tone.
"You should be at school, not here." Matt says almost coldly and moves his hand away, when he feels Ben trying to reach for it.
"But you need me and I don't want to be at school without you, we can both go back together." Ben says trying to sound cheerful, but he can barely hide the hurt on his face when his boyfriend moved his hand away.
"Stupid." Matt says as he turns to Ben, but there is no humour or playfulness in his voice as he stares at him.
"What?" Ben says, surprised by his boyfriends reaction.
"I'm tired, you should go away." Matt then says as he turns back to the door, leaving Ben just standing there with tears falling down his face.
"But... but I... I love you." Ben says, with his voice trembling and Mitch stands up ready to get his little brother out of the room, but gives it a little longer.
"I know, but... Ben... just... please." Matt answers and looks at his boyfriend, Ben though for the first time since his boyfriend woke up sees something in his eyes, it isn't much, but there is definitely something in them and he manages a genuine smile.
"Okay." Ben responds, but just as his boyfriend is about to look back at the door, Ben remembers something. "Matt I'm going to go now, but please look at the inscription on your ring before I come back later." He then tells him and he can see his boyfriend is now looking at him curiously.
"Ring? I don't have a ring." Matt then says in a confused tone, this is the first time he is made aware of the ring and looks down to his hand and looks at it curiously, he then looks at Ben's hand and sees an identical ring on it. "You have one too and they look the same." He then says and a little smile appears on his face, but a sound from outside causes him to tense up and turn straight back to the door, before Ben gets a chance to say anything else and knows his boyfriend has shut himself off from him again.
Mitch then walks over to his little brother after deciding now was the right time to leave, he was glad he had waited before though because there was a definite break through with the ring, but it was definitely the time to go for a few hours at least.
"Come on Ben, we need to go for a while and get some food." Mitch tells his little brother, who looks up at him and Mitch can tell he is considering arguing.
"Okay." Is all Ben says though, he thought he had made a breakthrough, but he knew Mitch wouldn't be making him leave unless it was the right thing to do and trusted him.
"I'm so proud of you little guy." Mitch then says as they walk across the room, he then turns to Matt. "Hey Matt, see you later okay." He then says with a warm smile.
"Oh er... okay bye." Matt responds with a confused expression, as if he had only just noticed Mitch was even in the room.
Just as they are about to walk out of the door though, Ben turns to his boyfriend.
"Matt don't forget to read the inscription on the ring please." Ben says in a sad tone, before walking out of the room, he instantly wraps his arms around his brothers waist crying, despite the small breakthrough, the whole encounter had left him feeling hurt and he barely made it out of the room without losing it.
"Hey come on now, did you see his face when you mentioned the ring?" Mitch says trying to reassure his little brother, although he understood why he was crying, up until that point it had been brutal for his little brother and he was so proud of him for staying strong for as long as he did.
"I heard you and Erica talking last week." Ben then says and it catches Mitch totally off guard.
"What?" Is all Mitch can say, he had no time to think of something to say and looked down at his little brother, hoping he didn't hear the conversation he was thinking of.
"About what his dad did to him and about breaking him." Ben explains and Mitch's heart sinks. "I didn't understand what that meant until now, the way Matt looked at me and moved his hand away, his dad made him... he made him dead inside didn't he?" He then asks, looking his brother in the eyes and he can tell he is at least partially right by the sad and worried look in his eyes.
"We don't know Ben and until Wesley's dad gets a chance to talk with him, we really don't know." Mitch responds honestly. "Ben do you want me to be totally honest about what I think?" He then asks, he knows this could be a stupid thing to do, but he had promised his little brother he would not hide things from him unless he absolutely had to.
"Yes, I can take it I promise, Mitch I just want to know." Ben replies looking at his brother expectantly.
"Okay Ben." Mitch says before taking a deep breath. "I think David tried to break him, so yes that means trying to make him dead inside, so he has no hope or love left in him." He then starts to explain, but pauses to take another breath. "Ben I'm going to tell you the truth right now, he failed, you saw the look in Matt's eyes for yourself, there is something there and that means David failed." He then says and stops to let his little brother take it in.
"I don't understand Mitch." Ben then says, he thinks he understands that his boyfriends dad had tried to 'break' him, but he didn't quite understand what it meant and how he had failed and what that even meant.
"It means that Matt, the real Matt is in there somewhere, the hurtful things he is saying are not actually the 'real' Matt, so try not to let his words hurt you Ben." Mitch says and decides to kneel down so he is at eye level with his little brother. "Ben this is good news, but it could be a long time before the 'real' Matt comes back to us, but I promise you he will get better, it will just be a little bit at a time." He then adds and hopes he has explained himself enough so that his little brother understood.
"So it is like when you're really angry with someone, like really angry and it takes you a while to act normal around them again, it's like you want to be how you were with them before, but you're too angry and just need some time before you can be normal again?" Ben then says, he isn't sure if he gets it fully but this is all he could think of that might be the same thing.
"Well er.. not sure it's quite like that, but I guess it is close enough Ben." Mitch says, he is glad his little brother seems to understand, but isn't sure about the comparison he made. "The important thing is to keep doing what you're doing Ben, just keep it simple, remind him of a few things that are personal to you both, but don't try too much to soon because this is going to take a long time." He decides to add with a warm smile and pulls his little brother tightly to his chest.
"I will try, but it is hard Mitch, I don't think I can cope without him and it hurts so much that he might not love me any more." Ben says in a slightly muffled voice, while Mitch holds him a little too tightly.
"Hey, he loves you, I saw his face when you told him about the ring and he loves you, it just might be a while before he can tell you." Mitch quickly states, hoping his words can reassure his little brother.
"I love you Mitch." Ben then says, with his voice still muffled by his brothers chest. "Seriously though Mitch, you don't have to crush me." He then says and Mitch instantly lets him go and looks at him sheepishly.
"Sorry little guy, guess I got a little carried away are you okay?" Mitch asks in response, hoping he didn't hurt his little brother.
"It's okay, I like when you cuddle me, it makes me feel safe and loved." Ben says and this time he wraps his arms around his brother and hugs him tightly and that is when they hear a cough and both turn to see where it came from.
"Afternoon boys." Mike says as he looks over to his two sons proudly and the look of shock on their faces makes him smile.
"How... you..." Ben stutters as he wonders how long his dad has been there and then he sees Sarah in his arms, looking at them with a weak smile and he blushes.
"I guess you heard all that then Dad." Mitch says as he stands up, picking his little brother up as he does so and carries him over to their Dad and Sarah. "Afternoon Sarah." He then says as he sits on the chairs opposite them, with his little brother still in his arms and Ben makes no effort to sit in his own chair and is content being held by his brother and he makes himself comfortable by shifting himself across a little.
"Yeah and I agree with you totally Mitch, Erica told us both a few days ago about what she thought David did to him and well it was hard to deal with." Mike starts to say, but stops when he feels Sarah sit up.
"Mitch did he really do what you said, when Ben talked about the ring?" Sarah asks bluntly in a almost emotionless tone, but Mike could here the little bit of hope in there.
"He really did Sarah, it was only small but there was definitely something there and he also reacted to Ben being upset." Mitch answers with a smile, he had seen the look on Matt's face when he noticed Ben was upset and it gave him even more hope.
"Okay." Is all Sarah says though and puts her head back on to Mike's chest, Mitch doesn't quite know what to say or make of what just happened and looks over to his dad for help.
"It's okay Son, why don't you take Ben for something to eat." Mike suggests to his eldest son, pulling his wallet out and takes some notes out. "Take this and take him somewhere outside the hospital, he needs to get out of here for a little while." He then says as his eldest son looks at him and he knows what he is thinking and smiles. "Mitch take the money and go please." He then tells him, but there is a warm smile on his face that relaxes his eldest son, who gets up with his little brother still in his arms and walks over to his dad.
"Okay Dad, I will take him somewhere nice and we will be back later." Mitch says as he takes the money, although he would prefer to spend his own. "Bye Sarah." Mitch then says looking down at her with a sad smile.
"Goodbye Mitch." Sarah says as she looks up, then seeing the sad look on his face and Ben's, realises she needs to start getting herself together if she is going to be able to get through this. "Mitch thank you so much for the good news about Matt, I'm just really struggling, but you three are helping me so much and I'm so grateful to have you all in my life." She then says from the heart, before a few tears roll down her face. "Now get going and I want to see a receipt of where you took him for something to eat Mitch." Sarah then adds with a smile on her face.
"Huh, why?" Mitch asks, feeling totally confused by the conversation, he was happy that Sarah seemed to be trying to pull it together, but wanting a receipt seemed strange.
"So we know you took him somewhere nice and not to a crappy fast food place." Sarah explains with a genuine smile and even Mike chuckles. "So get going, before I make you both get a shower and change." She then orders as she sits back up, she is feeling slightly better and more like her old self because of the distraction and wanted the two boys to relax and have a nice time.
"Okay, somewhere nice I promise." Mitch responds as he starts walking away, he then stops and turns back to his dad and Sarah, who give him a questioning look. "Sorry the little guy wants to say something." Mitch says as Ben lifts his head of his brothers shoulder and it is only then that both Sarah and Mike realise that Ben hadn't said a word for almost the entire conversation.
"Sarah, Matt is going to come back to us, I know he isn't the real Matt right now, but the real Matt loves you more than anything in the whole world even more then he loves me and we just have to wait." Ben says from the heart, as he makes eyes contact with Sarah. "People are always saying you have to wait for the good things in life, because the good things in life are worth waiting for and I think I get that now." He then starts to say and he can see Sarah wipe her eyes and pauses when he feels his own tears forming, but composes himself and carries on. "And I can't think of anything worth waiting for more than getting the real Matt back and it will be worth every second of every minute of every hour of every day it takes for that to happen." He then says, finishing his speech with a genuine smile.
Sarah suddenly gets up and almost runs over to the young boy and almost crushes him between herself and Mitch.
"Thank you so much you amazing little angel, that was beautiful... just thank you so much." Sarah says crying, she couldn't believe something like that could come out of a twelve year old boy and it was beautiful and she believed every word and she felt it give her the strength she needed to get through this.
Mitch then feels someone behind him cuddling him and guesses it is his dad and wonders if there was anyone else around that was going to crush him half to death and then he remembered his little brother, who must be feeling it even more.
"Okay guys you're going to have to let go now, before you crush Ben." Mitch says and both Sarah and his dad let them go and Mitch can't help but be a little concerned when he hears his little brother cough. "You okay little guy?" He quickly asks, as he starts to put his little brother down, thinking he might prefer to walk himself.
"No... I mean yeah I'm okay, but don't put me down please." Ben responds, looking at his brother with a sad look and Mitch can see that he is starting to struggle with everything that is happening. "I like when you carry me." Ben then says with a sweet smile and Mitch smiles at him proudly for being so amazing.
"Yeah I bet you do, you lazy sod." Mitch then says, as he lowers his little brother again.
"No please, I know it's stupid and it makes me look like a baby but I don't care, Mitch I feel safer and better when you hold me... please." Ben says sincerely and Mitch lifts him back up and into his arms again, he knows he should be a little concerned at how clingy his little brother seems to have become to him, but he couldn't bring himself to stop it happening and no one else seemed to be concerned, so he shrugged his thoughts off.
"Okay, but you're going to have to walk when we get outside, I'm not carrying you everywhere we go." Mitch tells his little brother firmly.
"Oh please Mitch, I promise to walk on my own when we come back... please." Ben says pleadingly and Mitch makes the mistake of looking him in the eyes and instantly caves.
"Okay, but you're walking back." Mitch says and he ignores the smirk on his dads face and then rolls his eyes as his little brother cheers happily, although he couldn't help smiling at the happy look on his face and knew he had to enjoy the rare times his little brother was happy, until Matt was at least more like himself.
"Don't worry, I will talk to you brother later about being so clingy, just put up with it a little bit longer okay." Sarah then says, whispering in Mitch's ear, while being careful not to let Ben hear her and the baffled look on the young boys face, causes her to smile knowing she succeeded.
"Thank you Sarah." Mitch says out loud and resumes walking away from his dad and Sarah.
"What did she say Mitch?" Ben then asks, when he is sure they are out of hearing range.
"Nothing for you Ben." Mitch answers, knowing it was unlikely to get his little brother to stop.
"Come on Mitch, tell me please." Ben says, as Mitch stops and looks him in the eyes.
"Ben look I love you and what you just said to Sarah was nothing short of amazing and I'm so proud of you, but please, please let this go." Mitch says in a stern voice.
"But..." Ben begins to say, but Mitch raises his hand and puts a finger to his little brothers lips and he stops talking.
"Ben I don't ask you for much and I give you everything I can, but I need you to stop hassling me about things when I ask you to." Mitch says and pauses, when his little brother finally nods, he carries on. "I mean it Ben, you need to give me a break sometimes, this is hard on me too and I'm not superman, so when I ask you not to do something, I need you to respect me okay?" He then says, as he removes his finger his little brother can answer him.
"Sorry Mitch, I don't mean to, it's just I know you will never lie to me or treat me like a baby, like everyone else does." Ben says sincerely and feels bad for pestering his brother all the time. "I promise to try and be a better little brother and if you want me to walk I will." He then says in a sad tone and Mitch again is reminded of how vulnerable his little brother is, by his sudden mood changes.
"Hey don't be stupid, I promised to carry you and I will and as for being my little brother, I wouldn't change you for anything, you're perfect and I'm not just saying that, there isn't anything that would make me want anyone but you as my little brother Ben" Mitch answers, as he looks his looks into his little brothers eyes.
"I love you." Ben then says, as he buries his head in his older brothers shoulder and neck.
"I love you too, now pull yourself together because I'm taking you to whatever restaurant you want, well whatever 'real' restaurant you want, because dad and Sarah will kill me if we go to McDonald or KFC." Mitch responds with a chuckle and he can hear his little brother giggle.
"You know I don't like those anyway, how much did Dad give you anyway?" Ben then asks, keeping his head buried on his brothers neck and shoulder, he just felt so safe in his brothers arms and it helped him recover from his encounter with his boyfriend, which had taken a lot out of him.
"I don't know like $50 I think." Mitch replies as they start walking again.
"Oh, is that enough for like big steaks?" Ben asks curiously, not really knowing what real food in restaurants actually costs.
"Depends what you mean by big steaks." Mitch asks grinning, he suspects his little brother is probably a little shy about asking for what he really wants.
"Er... it doesn't matter." Ben then says and Mitch doesn't know whether to smile at his little brothers modesty or be worried that he again has gone from happy to sad so quickly.
"Ben if you want the biggest steak, then you're having it and if Dad didn't give us enough, I have money too, now don't be shy and tell me what you really want to eat." Mitch states, as they approach the front exit of the hospital.
"I don't know any of the restaurants though, but I want a giant steak, like the biggest they do." Ben says smiling, although he feels like he is being greedy he just wants to be spoilt a little bit.
" I know just the place and it isn't to far from here." Mitch responds. "Definitely not carrying you after you eat it though, I'm strong but you're going to weigh a tonne after you eat that thing." Mitch then jokes as he chuckles and his little brother giggles, they get a few strange look from various patients and staff they pass, as they leave the hospital, but neither cares and they carry on joking and talking all the way to the restaurant.
Four Hours Later
"Is it okay to go in alone?" Ben asks his brother, as they sit with Sarah and his dad outside his boyfriends room, Mitch and he had returned just over an hour ago and had spent the last hour talking with the two adults about their meal and what else they got up to, he had wanted to go in as soon as they had returned, but the doctors were doing some tests and then the nurses gave his boyfriend a sponge bath, which he was disappointed not to be allowed to see and wondered if they would ever let him watch.
"Okay go ahead Son." Mike says with a smile, as Sarah smiles beside him.
"Yes!" Ben says as he jumps up and heads to the door, but his brother quickly causes him to turn around.
"Ben, I'm coming in with you." Mitch says and he ignores the annoyed look on his little brothers face.
"Dad, I want to go alone." Ben says deciding to go straight to his dad.
"Sorry Son, but if Mitch wants to go in with you, then he is going in." Mike says, he knows his youngest son will not like that answer, but he wanted someone else in the room, just in case something happened and although he wanted it to be him, he knew Mitch was the better option and besides he had to look after Sarah.
"But..." Ben begins to say, but Mitch interrupts him.
"Ben, remember what I asked you earlier?" Mitch asks in a slightly annoyed tone, he had hoped he wouldn't have to remind his little brother what he had promised him, especially this soon but he didn't mind that much.
"No... but... oh." Ben says, as he remembers the conversation and felt bad for breaking his promise already. "Sorry Mitch, come on then but stay in the corner okay?" He then says, as he turns back to the room and opens the door.
"Okay boss." Mitch teases as he follows his little brother, he gives his dad a wink after noticing the bemused look on his face, before closing the door behind him.
Once in the room, Mitch does as he was told and makes himself comfortable in the corner, he had already made the chair more comfortable when they were there in the morning and relaxed into it, Ben then nervously walks to the bed and wasn't quite sure if his boyfriend was watching him or not, he had made sure that he was on the side where he could hold his boyfriends good hand and for a few moments he just stood their nervously, he had so many questions to ask and things to say, but now he was standing their he couldn't speak, but decided to be a little brave by reaching for his boyfriends hand and when he just about reaches it his smile drops when his boyfriend moves his hand away.
"Matt..." Ben starts to say, but stops as he struggles to force himself to talk. "Why..." He starts to say, but this time stops when he feels his hand being squeezed and looks down to see his boyfriends hand on his own and when he looks up, he sees his boyfriend looking straight at him.
"Amor Vincit Omnia." Matt then suddenly says and even Mitch looks surprised at the words.
"What?" Ben asks totally confused, he had forgotten about the inscription being in Latin and didn't make the connection to the words, he thought for a moment his boyfriend had something wrong with his voice.
"Amor Vincit Omnia, Love conquers all... the inscription on our rings." Matt then says and Ben finally gets it and smiles shyly.
"Oh shit sorry I...." Ben begins to say, but Matt cuts him off.
"I forgot you suck at Latin." Matt says with a small smile, it wasn't much but to Ben that smile was the greatest thing he had ever seen.
"Yeah, but I had a crap teacher." Ben jokes back.
"Dumb Ass." Matt retorts, before letting go off his boyfriends hand, Ben looks down and the disappointment on his face is obvious.
"Sorry." Ben then says sadly, thinking he has done something wrong already.
"Me too." Matt responds, before turning to face the door.
"Why do you keep looking at the door?" Ben decides to ask, he isn't sure why he is asking, but the question just pops into his head.
"I'm waiting." Matt replies, but the tone of his voice unsettles Ben enough that he looks over to his brother, who is now leaning forward and gives his little brother a gesture to carry on.
"For what?" Ben then asks nervously.
"Nothing." Matt responds as he turns back to his boyfriend and looks at him as if he were a stranger, Ben almost reels at the look, but keeps smiling for a few moments, before he starts to struggle to hide his true feelings.
"Matt please, you're scaring me." Ben then says, he is tired of trying to pretend everything is okay and just wants his boyfriend back, Mitch is now looking on worried, he was afraid his little brother might be finding it harder then he was letting on and was ready to take him out of the room if he needed to.
"Oh." Is all Matt says, before sighing and looking back at the door. "You should go then." He adds, before taking his hand away from Ben's after he had tried to hold it again.
"No... why are you being like this." Ben then states and doesn't see his brother stand up, as he continues. "I love you, why do you keep hurting me." He then asks, as he takes a hold of his boyfriends hand again and watches as his boyfriend turns to him.
"I... don't... sorry." Matt says sadly, before looking down at their hands. "Amor Vincit Omnia." He then says, as he looks into his boyfriends eyes, Mitch quickly holds his position, he was on the verge of just taking his little brother out of the room.
"Love conquers all." Ben then says in a hopeful tone and just hoped this was another good sign that his boyfriend was getting better.
"Maybe not everything." Matt then says and pulls his hand away again, before looking over at the door. "I don't want to see you any more Ben." He then says coldly and Ben just stands there feeling his heart breaking for a few moments, before he remembers what his brother had told him about not letting his boyfriends words hurt him and decided to not give up.
"But... I love you... Matt." Ben says and despite his attempts to stay strong his tears start flowing down his face, he can feel his whole body shaking and suddenly feels himself being lifted up and taken towards the door, he wants to tell his brother to put him down but instead just lets himself be carried out the room and realises that he had failed to be strong for his boyfriend.
As soon as Mitch gets his little brother out of the room he gives his dad and Sarah a devastated look, he then turns away from them with his little brother still in his arms and takes him to the nearest family room.
"Ben I'm so sorry." Mitch says as he shuts the family room door behind him, but this time he has no big speech to make it all better, he had thought his little brother was making a breakthrough, but it was now obvious that what ever is wrong with Matt, is only going to be fixed by a professional and he feels like it is his fault for not getting his little brother out of the room sooner.
"Why would he say that?" Ben asks, as Mitch sits him down on a chair and kneels in front of him.
"Ben you can hate me for this, but I'm not letting you see Matt again." Mitch begins to say and can tell his little brother is about to say something and places a finger over his lips. "I don't mean forever, but we need to let Wesley's dad see him first." He then adds, before removing his finger from his little brothers lips.
"Doesn't he love me any more?" Ben then asks, seemingly ignoring what his brother just said to him.
"Of course he loves you Ben." Mitch says, as he gently wipes the tears from his little brothers face, although they are quickly replaced by fresh ones. "He just needs time, I can't even imagine what you're going through Ben, I just don't want you to give up on him." He then says and he can see anger in his little brothers eyes.
"I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON HIM!" Ben shouts out in anger, he can't believe his brother could ever think he would give up on his boyfriend.
"Whoa... Ben I didn't mean it like that." Mitch says, he is surprised at his little brothers anger, although he sees it as a good sign, he was worried he would just shut down and not show any emotion and while anger isn't ideal, it is at least something. "Ben I just meant, don't ever believe he doesn't love you." he then explains with a warm smile, as he leans forward and kisses his little brother gently on the forehead.
"I want to go back to see him." Ben then says, as he sniffles and wipes the tears from his eyes.
"Ben come on, I can't..." Mitch begins to say, but this time he feels a finger on his lips and realises his little brother is mimicking him and decides to play along.
"When I'm angry or sad and tell you or Dad to leave me alone, I don't really want to be alone, I'm just scared and angry." Ben says, keeping his finger on his brothers lips. "Mitch I'm going to just sit in the room, even if he doesn't look at me or talk to me, I'm going to sit in there and be with him." He then states in a serious tone, he then lowers his hand and keeps eye contact with his brother and waits for his reaction.
"You know that lip thing doesn't work on me right?" Mitch says, deciding to try and distract his brother.
"It doesn't really work on me either." Ben retorts, but his voice is still in the same serious tone and Mitch looks at him in surprise.
"What?" Mitch says, still looking shocked.
"When you put you finger to my lips, it doesn't magically make me stop talking, I just decide to stop." Ben explains, in a less serious tone before he stands up from the chair.
"You decide to?" Mitch asks curiously, he had always wondered why it always seemed to work when he did it and not for anyone else.
"I love you and trust you Mitch, so whenever you put your finger on my lips, I know you're going to say something important or I'm being stupid and I know you always say you will do anything for me, well I want you to know that I will do anything for you, we are brothers and I will always love you." Ben says from the heart, he was never going to tell his brother the truth about the finger on the lips thing, but it felt like the right time to tell him.
"Well there goes my dreams of being the next Harry Potter." Mitch then says, with a smile.
"Ha, you're such an idiot." Ben then says, as he grins and playfully punches his brother on the shoulder.
"I know but Ben, is there anything I can say to stop you going back in that room?" Mitch then asks in a serious tone, he was still considering doing what ever it took to not let his little brother go in that room, but he wanted to give him a chance to convince him to let him go in.
"Nothing and I know you can stop me if you want to, but Mitch he is alone and afraid, if it was me in there like that would you leave me all on my own?" Ben says and Mitch instantly knows he won't stop him going in.
"Damn it Ben." Mitch says and he can see Ben giving him a worried look. "Fine and fuck it, you can go in alone but if it goes wrong and you get upset, I'm taking you out even if I have to drag you, deal?" He then says and he can see his little brothers eyes light up in happiness.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, I knew you would believe in me, I just knew it and you're the best Dad ever." Ben says grinning as he wraps his arms around his brother, who is frozen in silence as his little brothers words shock him and when he doesn't return the embrace, Ben notices and edges back and looks at him. "What's wrong?" He asks in a concerned tone, he wasn't sure what had happened and is getting worried that his brother had changed his mind.
"You... Ben... you called..." Mitch stutters, before trailing off for a few moments. "Ben you just..." He tries to say again, but he can't get the words out of his head, he knew Ben was getting overly clingy to him, but hearing him call him dad was just a whole different level of problem and he didn't know what to think or do.
"Mitch what's wrong with you? Did you change your mind?" Ben asks, convinced his brother isn't going to let him back in his boyfriends room.
"Ben you called me Dad... I'm your brother, not your Dad." Mitch then says and sighs with relief after finally getting the words out, but when he sees the look on his little brothers face, his relief quickly fades away.
"I... no.. I didn't..." Ben says, this time he is the one stuttering as he tries to remember if he said it or not, if he did then he was horrified with himself and ashamed, he had actually started seeing Mitch as more than just a brother for many years now, but ever since he and Matt had become boyfriends he had come to view Mitch as his actual dad, but had always made sure to be careful never to let it slip out and now it had and it was Mitch he said it to, he was generally scared of what will happen.
"Ben what is going on?" Mitch asks bluntly, if his little brother had laughed it off or outright denied it he would have let it drop, but it was obvious from his little brothers reaction, that this might actually be more serious.
"You can't tell Dad." Ben then says and Mitch's concerns get even worse and he doesn't like where this is heading.
"Ben I love you, but I'm your brother, you have a dad and he loves you." Mitch tells his little brother firmly, hoping that he can nip this in the bud.
"I know, I know." Ben says as he sniffles and sits down looking sad. "Mitch it's not my fault, don't hate me please." He then says looking down at the floor, his biggest secret, that he never even told his boyfriend about was now out and he is terrified of the consequences.
"Ben, I need you to tell me that you know I'm not your dad." Mitch asks in a nervous tone as he lifts his brothers face up so they are looking into each others eyes.
"I can't." Ben responds honestly and bursts into tears, Mitch instinctively pulls his little brother out of the chair and into his arms to comfort him.
"Ben I love you, but we are brothers." Mitch then says and he can hear his little brother settle down a little.
"No you're my dad, you do everything a dad should do with me and I love you." Ben answers as he pulls away from the embrace.
"You have a dad, he is my dad as well, Ben you're just emotional right now and you're getting confused." Mitch tells him and hopes he is getting through to his little brother.
"I love him too, but you're my real dad and I love you more." Ben states firmly and Mitch knows this is really serious and ironically wishes his dad was there to fix this.
"I love you Ben and I would be proud to have a son like you, but I'm your older brother and that is all, you need to accept it and stop seeing me any other way than your brother or..." Mitch begins to say, as he lectures his little brother but trails off before he can bring himself to tell him that if he doesn't change, he will have to spend less time with him until he understands.
"You hate me just like Matt does, don't you?" Ben then asks and Mitch's heart sinks, he has no idea how this situation happened and he was now stuck and completely lost on how to fix it.
"No... Ben why can't you just be happy with me as your older brother? Why do you need me to be your dad, when you already love your real dad?" Mitch then asks, trying to understand what his little brother is thinking.
"Why can't you just be my dad?" Ben answers, giving Mitch the answer he didn't want to hear and he is back to square one.
"Oh fucking hell this is messed up... I can't deal with this." Mitch says, as he stands up and starts to open the door.
"Mitch I'm sorry... please don't leave me... please." Ben begs, as he grabs one of his brothers arms and pulls on him.
"Ben I... shit Ben, you have to snap out of it because I'm not your dad." Mitch snaps at his little brother, who lets go of his arm in shock. "Ben please understand... I'm not your..." He then starts to say, but stops as he watches his little brother lay on the floor and curl up into a ball crying. "Oh fuck." He then says, but instead of going to his little brother he leaves the room and pulls his phone out to call his dad.
"Hello?" Mike says, as he answers his phone.
"Dad, come quick, we are in the family room closest to you... please hurry." Is all Mitch says, before he hangs up the phone and turns to face the door.
"Who was that Mike?" Sarah asks, as she looks at him curiously.
"Mitch... he sounded upset and told me to go to the nearest family room." Mike says as he stands up, but just as he is about to walk away he turns back to Sarah and wonders if he should leave her.
"Oh just go, I will be okay on my own for a while Mike, go help Mitch." Sarah states, after noticing the conflicted look on his face.
Mike turns away without answering and makes his way to find his sons.
"Mitch what is going on?" Mike asks as he rounds the corner and sees his eldest son looking upset in front of the family room door.
"Dad this is so fucked up." Mitch says, as he turns to his dad with a worried expression.
"Don't swear Mitch and what is going on?" Mike asks, after telling his son off.
"I don't... Dad I don't know what to do." Mitch says in reply, as he looks back at the door.
"You need to tell me what is going on, before I can help you Mitch." Mike says, as he puts a comforting hand on his eldest sons shoulder. "Where is Ben?" Mike then asks, realising Ben is missing.
"In there crying." Mitch answers in a sad tone and Mitch looks at him quizzically.
"Why aren't you in there?" Mike asks in surprise, Mitch would never normally leave his little brother alone when he was upset and he was now genuinely worried.
"Dad, he thinks I'm his dad." Mitch then says as he turns to see his dads expression change from concerned to confused.
"What?" Mike asks, he had heard his son, but he was sure he must have misunderstood.
"Dad I don't know what is happening, I tried talking to him and telling him I'm just his brother, but he refuses to accept it." Mitch states and is starting to feel terrified of the situation. "Dad I don't know what is happening, why is this happening?" He then asks and starts to shake, Mike is stunned but he instinctively pulls his eldest son in for a comforting cuddle, almost as much for himself as it is for Mitch.
"Are you sure you heard him right?" Mike then asks, it is obvious Mitch wouldn't be like this if he wasn't one hundred percent sure of what he heard, but he has to ask anyway.
"Dad, I tried telling him you were his dad and he said he knows, he loves you but when I told him I was just his brother and not his dad." Mitch starts to say before pausing to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. "Dad, he asked me why I couldn't just be his dad." He then says trying his best to keep himself together. "Dad I don't understand what is happening." He then says and looks to the floor.
"Mitch I want you to go sit with Sarah, I'm going to go speak with Ben." Mike says, as he puts his hands on his eldest sons shoulders. "Mitch I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding, your little brother is under a lot of stress right now, like we all are but he is only twelve years old and is more vulnerable." He then says trying to reassure his son, although inside he is having a hard time dealing with the news and how much it hurt him.
"I hope you're right Dad, this is so messed up and you're our dad, not me." Mitch responds with his head down.
"Now go to Sarah." Mike says and watches as his eldest son walks away without saying anything else, he then turns to the door and takes a deep breath before walking in.
"Mitch?" Ben says with his voice full of hope, as the door opens and closes.
"No Son, it's just me." Mike answers as he walks over to his son, who is know sitting on the floor.
"Oh... hey Dad, where is Mitch?" Ben asks as he quickly tries to look like he wasn't just crying, not knowing that his dad knew about what had just happened.
"Ben, is it true what you said to your brother?" Mike then asks, after deciding to get straight to the point and he can see his youngest son wasn't expecting it.
"No." Ben lies as he gets to his feet and walks towards the door, but Mike steps in front of it and looks down at his son.
"Ben, I'm your dad and you shouldn't lie to me." Mike says in a stern voice and Ben looks at his dad nervously.
"What did he say?" Ben decides to ask, as he tries to think of a way out of the room.
"He told me you want him to be your dad, is it true?" Mike asks and tries to keep his voice calm.
"No." Ben says, but when he looks up at his dads face, he can tell he has to tell the truth and backs away a few steps. "Dad I love you but er... I do. I really do, but er... I want Mitch to be my dad, he has always looked after me and you let him do all the dad stuff with me." He then says, after deciding to just be honest and can see something in his dads expression, but it doesn't seem to be anger and it confuses him. "Dad I do love you lots though." He quickly adds, hoping to not upset his dad to much.
"I see." Mike says as he moves over to the chairs and sits down with a deep sigh.
"Dad?" Ben asks as he half looks at the door and half at his dad with concern. "You're mad at me." He then says, more as a statement of fact than a question.
"Not really." Is all Mike says, as he thinks about how he has ended up here, even before the boys mother had died he wasn't exactly dad of the year, he loved his kids but he was more job orientated and then after her death, he basically put all his responsibilities in raising Ben on Mitch and if he really thought about it, could he really be surprised the young boy has developed these feelings for his older brother.
"Sorry Dad." Ben then says as he takes one last look at the door and goes over to the chairs and sits next to his dad.
"Ben be honest, do you really want Mitch to be your dad, I mean can't you just carry on seeing him as your big brother?" Mike asks his son, although deep down he already knows the answer and he really couldn't blame him.
"If it means neither of you hate me, I guess so." Ben answers honestly, although he knows he is not telling the whole truth and how he really feels.
"No Ben, I mean tell me honestly, if it was your choice would you prefer me as your dad and Mitch as your big brother or would you prefer to have Mitch as your dad?" Mike asks and although it is wrong of him to ask his youngest son these sort of questions, especially considering how much stress he is already under due to Matt's condition, but he needed to know the truth.
"I want Mitch to be my dad." Ben answers meekly, as he stares at the floor. "You're my dad though and I don't er... I don't want you not to be my dad, but Mitch is also my dad er... you're both my dad." He then adds and looks up at his dad, hoping he has not destroyed his family by being honest.
"I will speak with Mitch about this later Ben." Mike says, as he looks at his son with a sad expression. "Sorry I wasn't a good enough dad for you." He then adds as he stands up to leave, but Ben latches on to his arm and refuses to let his dad walk away. "Ben let go please." Mike says as he tries to get the boy to let him go.
"Dad I don't want to ruin our family, please don't let me ruin our family, I will be good I promise... Dad... please!" Ben starts pleading, as he pulls his dad back towards the chairs.
"You aren't ruining our family." Mike says before sighing, he didn't understand what this all really meant for them all and how it would effect them in the long run, but somewhere deep down he understood his youngest sons feelings and he is willing to talk with Mitch and see how to move forward. "Ben I have to talk with Mitch and see how we can deal with this, but I want you to know I love you and Mitch loves you and we are still the same family we were before okay?" He then tries to explain, he then thinks about what the law is on this and how other people will react, he made the decision then, that he should talk to Sarah and get her point of view.
"I don't understand." Ben then says, he is sure his dad is telling him everything will be okay, but at the same time he didn't understand why they had to talk about this later on.
"Ben, I'm saying that I might be able to accept you seeing Mitch as your dad, but I need to process everything and then we all need to talk to each other together, I don't even know how we can even do it... I don't know Ben, but we will talk about it again." Mike tries to explain, as he puts his head in his hands and sighs, this is a massive mess and he isn't sure if he is even handling this the right way and whether this is just a phase.
"I wish I never said anything now, things were fine the way they were and we were all happy." Ben then says as he stands up and walks over to the door. "Sorry Dad." He then says as he opens the door.
"I won't lie Ben, your timing is awful, it really is but we can't go back now and we will deal with it together, now why don't you go see Matt." Mike then says, as he stands up and follows his son out of the room.
Walking in silence, Mike and Ben make it back to Matt's room and they see straight away that Mitch is sitting with his head in his hands, with Sarah holding her arm over his back comforting him, Ben decides he can't handle the situation and goes straight into his boyfriends room where he feels equally uneasy, Mike decides to sit on the other side of his eldest son and puts an arm over his back as well and sighs.
"Well this is all just a big mess Mitch." Mike then says, as Sarah gives him a quizzical look and he realises that Mitch might not have told her anything.
"We need to take him to see Wesley's dad." Mitch then states without looking up.
"Okay you two, what's going on?" Sarah decides to asks, as she sits up and looks at the father and son, Mitch just takes a deep breath and sits upright but remains silent.
"Sarah I don't want to burden you with anything else, you have enough to deal with." Mike answers and abandons his prior intention of telling her what is happening.
"Oh shut up Mike, you have done so much for me and if I can help I want too, so tell me what is going on." Sarah tells her friend and gives him a hard stare.
"Ben thinks... no he wants Mitch to be his dad." Mike says bluntly and the sadness in his voice is obvious and Mitch sighs as he leans back looking up at the ceiling.
"He what? he... he actually said that?" Sarah asks, she is completely shocked by the revelation and isn't sure what to think.
"He did and trust me I tried my best to see if he was just confused, but Sarah he already sees Mitch as his dad and if I'm being honest, I can understand why he thinks that." Mike answers honestly, as he looks at Sarah and his eldest son, who is now looking at him in confusion.
"Dad, please don't tell me you encouraged him." Mitch then states, fearing he already knows the answer.
"Well I..." Mike begins to answer, wondering if he just made a big mistake.
"Oh my god Dad, the kid is confused and stressed out and you just told him I should be his dad?" Mitch says and is in complete shock, that his dad could be so stupid.
"I'm with Mitch on this one Mike, what were you thinking?" Sarah adds, she doesn't know the whole story, but she doesn't need it to know who is in the wrong here.
Stepping in the room, Ben is aware of his boyfriend giving him a cold stare, but he ignores it and sits in the corner where Mitch had been sitting earlier, he decided that he wasn't going to say a word to his boyfriend, even though he can see he is looking at him and for the next forty minutes Ben just stares at his boyfriend, who alternates between watching the door and watching Ben watch him.
"I told you not to come back." Matt finally states, after getting frustrated at Ben not only being in the room, but also for just sitting there in silence staring at him. "Why are you just looking at me?" He then asks and then turns back to the door after getting no reply.
Ben desperately wanted to talk with his boyfriend and almost caved in after he had made the effort to talk with him, but he wanted to just sit there and think about what happened with his dad and brother, or dads, he didn't know what to think now and it was driving him crazy.
"Go away Ben." Matt suddenly says and Ben looks up to see his boyfriend staring at him coldly, Ben however maintains his silence and just relaxes back into his chair, staring at his boyfriend. "I will press my alarm if you don't go." He then says, trying to get Ben to leave and is growing more and more frustrated. "I will do it Ben, just leave me alone." He then adds and moves his hand over the alarm button.
With his hand over the button, Matt suddenly catches the sad and lost look in Ben's eyes and for the first time since he woke up he felt something, he wasn't quite sure what it was, but it wasn't fear and as he continues to stare he notices a tear rolling down Ben's face. "What's wrong?" He then asks, almost instinctively and waits for a response, Ben looks up to him, but just sniffles and shakes his head and Matt feels something else that he hasn't felt for a long time and he can't help himself. "Ben, if something is wrong tell me." He then says, but while he is definitely feeling something his words still come out coldly.
"I did something stupid." Ben answers as his resolve breaks, he knows this isn't the 'real' Matt, but it is close enough and he needs him more than ever.
"You normally do." Matt says in response, he is feeling extremely confused, he desperately wants to be left alone, but something somewhere inside him is forcing him to talk to Ben and he can't help himself.
"No, this is really stupid, like ruin my family stupid." Ben says and he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "Matt I know you don't like me any more and you want me to go away... but... Matt even if you just pretend, I really need you right now, I need my boyfriend to help me and I know you aren't him, but please..." He then says and he starts to sniffle as tears run down his face and Matt's confusing feelings continue to get more intense.
"Tell me what you did." Matt says as he moves his hand and presses a button which adjusts his bed so he is sitting more upright although he grimaces a little at the pain but carries on, the noise of the bed moving causes Ben to look up and see his boyfriend is making an effort and it almost makes him smile.
"It's really, really stupid and I don't even know what is going on in my head Matt." Ben says and tries to imagine it is 'his' Matt, that he is talking with.
"Just tell me." Matt says coldly, he curses himself for not sounding more sympathetic, which causes him to realise that he is starting to feel something other than fear and loneliness, but right now he still can't get his head to understand what it all means and goes back to trying to pretend he cares about what is happening to Ben.
"I told Mitch that I thought of him as my dad, well I actually ended up telling him I wanted him to be my dad." Ben then admits, before waiting for his boyfriends cold response.
"You did what?" Matt says with his voice full of surprise and Ben sits up a little more as he picks up on his boyfriends tone and while it wasn't an ideal reaction, it was better than the expected cold response.
"It gets worse." Ben then says as he slumps back in the chair a little bit, as much as his boyfriend is showing signs of improvements, his own problems as too messed up to be anything other than afraid and scared.
"How could it get any worse?" Matt asks curiously and again he adds another emotion to the ones that seemed to have returned to him and is actually finding it hard not to smile, but something is telling him in the back of his mind that this is not the right time for that.
"I cried and he ran away, he must of told my dad what I said because he came to find me and I ended up telling him I wanted Mitch to be my dad and he went all weird." Ben says and blushes. "I fucked up Matt, I really fucked up." He then says, as he wipes his eyes again and looks expectantly at his boyfriend.
"Holy shit you idiot." Matt says with a small smile, which surprises him and gets Ben to lean forward to check that he isn't imagining it. "I mean shit Ben, why do you want Mitch to be your dad?" He then asks him, as he shifts a little in his bed to get comfortable, although he could barely move and everything seemed to hurt, however he had forgotten all about wanting Ben to leave and was actually interested in helping him.
"Because I love him so much." Ben answers as truthfully as he can.
"That's it, because you love him so much?" Matt says, almost mockingly before he continues. "So you think he should be your dad, because you love him more that you love Mike?" He then asks, seeing an easy solution to Ben's problems.
"Well I think so yeah." Ben answers, again as honestly as he can.
"You're such an idiot Ben, jeez just so stupid." Matt states, as he rolls his eyes. "So just to get this right, by your logic because you love Mitch more than your actual dad, that means you think Mitch should be your dad right?" Matt then asks, surprising himself that he is actually feeling good about help Ben fix his problem.
"Yeah." Ben answers and wonders where his boyfriend is going with this.
"Okay, so do you love me more than you love Mitch?" Matt then asks, without really thinking about the words he is using now and just saying what comes into his head.
"I love you more than anything." Ben says and is now smiling, as he moves to the edge of his seat and almost slips of the chair completely.
"Okay then, so using your logic that makes Mitch your dad instead of Mike and that means you think I should be your dad instead of Mitch right?" Matt then says and waits to see how Ben reacts to what he just said.
"Wait what? No, no I don't want you to be my dad." Ben responds and Matt smiles as he knew he would say something like that.
"Dumb Ass." Matt then says, shaking his head.
"He does dad stuff with me though Matt, he taught me how to ride a bike, how to swim and well everything a dad should do, he even gave me the sex talk." Ben then states as he tries to justify his reasoning to his boyfriend.
"So you think Mitch should be your dad because you love him more than Mike, but you don't want me to be your dad even though you love me more, am I understanding you right?" Matt asks and sits smiling waiting for Ben to work it out for himself.
"Yeah, wait... I er... shit... so just because I love Mitch more than I do my dad... doesn't mean I want him to be my dad or that he should be my dad... oh fucking hell Matt." Ben responds and can't believe what he has done. "What about the dad stuff though?" He then asks, taking a last chance to try and justify himself although he knows he has just messed up everything for now reason.
"Dad stuff? It's nothing you idiot, Mitch did those things because he is your big brother and he gave me the sex talk as well kind of and that doesn't make him my dad does it." Matt responds a little coldly, but Ben is sure he could hear a little amusement in his boyfriends tone and it made him feel a little happier, although his thoughts quickly turned back to what he had done to his family.
"Oh shit I have fucked it all up, what the hell am I meant to do now Matt?" Ben then asks as he puts his head in his hands and just feels like a complete idiot, he was so sure Mitch should be his dad, but now he realises how stupid his reasons were.
"Well you can finally get you cute little ass out of here and leave me alone now that..." Matt starts to say, but stops after he realises what he just said and from the massive grin on Ben's face, he knows he heard him. "Ben just go away and don't come back for a while please." He then says and he can see the smile disappears from Ben's face.
"What, but you just..." Ben begins to say, but his boyfriend interrupts him.
"It's too soon Ben, I'm so confused right now just... I don't know." Matt says and is genuinely confused, he was getting all these feelings, but the fear was still winning and he felt like he was going to explode or something. "Look just go out there, tell your dad and Mitch how stupid you were and what we figured out and come back here with some OJ and we can talk." He then says and he can't help but smile a little at just how happy Ben looks again. "Ben, just don't come back too soon, make it like an hour or two please." He then adds, he needed some time to process things and knew if Ben pushed him to quickly, he might say something he regretted and he didn't want to lose his boyfriend again, he then smiled again as he realised that he had thought of Ben as his boyfriend again for the first time since he woke up and found himself feeling a little happier.
"Oh my god, yes, yes." Ben says jumping up and down excitedly, before looking at his boyfriend with a cheesy grin. "Amok Vimit Omega." He then says and Matt looks at him in confusion.
"What?" Matt asks, wondering what his boyfriend is on about.
"Love conquers all, remember?" Ben responds, wondering how his boyfriend didn't remember that.
"It's 'Amor Vincit Omnia' you dumb ass." Matt responds shaking his head, but Ben can see the small smile on his boyfriends face and his hope for his boyfriend coming back returned.
"That's what I said." Ben responds, grinning shyly and trying his best to remember that his boyfriend has a long way to go, before he is the 'real' Matt again.
"I'm sorry." Matt then says and Ben looks at his boyfriend in confusion.
"Why are you sorry? I'm the dumb ass." Ben asks and wants to hold his boyfriends hand, but is rooted to the spot and doesn't know how to handle this.
"Because I'm not the 'Matt' you love." Matt explains and is about to turn to look at the door, when watches his boyfriend walking over to him and then placing his hand on his. "What are you doing?" Matt asks and he feels his hand being squeezed gently.
"You're the 'Matt' I love, you're just lost and confused, but I'm going to find you and we are going to be together for the rest of our lives." Ben answers from the heart, with a loving smile.
"Ben please don't." Matt says weakly.
"Don't what?" Ben replies as he gently uses his free hand to rub his boyfriends arm.
"That, stop it now!" Matt says as he pulls his hand free and Ben steps back in surprise and disappointment. "See I can't even stand you touching me, how are we ever..." He then starts to say, but doesn't get to finish, when he feels his boyfriends lips on his own.
Ben kisses his boyfriend as passionately as he can, he knows this was a stupid risky move but he needed to do something and he just prayed to god, that his boyfriend didn't freak out or something because he would never be allowed in to see him again, but all his thoughts and fears disappear when he feels his boyfriend return the kiss and it is almost five minutes before Ben reluctantly breaks it and looks down at his boyfriend.
"Hey Matt." Ben then says blushing slightly and with an adorable shy smile to go with it.
"Creep!" Matt replies, with his own adorable smile. "Now go fix your fuck up and make sure my OJ has some ice in it." He then says and looks away, but this time it is with a smile as he thinks about the amazing kiss and found himself wanting more.
"See I told you that I would find you, see you later sexy." Ben says with a giant grin before he he leans down and gives his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek before leaving and as Matt watches him leave he can't help but stare at his cute little bum and sighs in happiness, it is the first time he has felt like this since he woke up and he doesn't want it to ever go away and almost calls out to his boyfriend to stay with him.
"Hey guys." Ben says after he closes the door behind him and walks straight in front of his dad and brother, they both look at him and are surprised by his seemingly good mood.
"Ben about..." Mike and Mitch both start to say in unison, but with a cheeky grin Ben lifts a finger to each of their lips and silences them, he can hear Sarah chuckle in surprise but decides to ignore her for now.
"I'm so sorry for what I said, Matt helped me figure out that I was a stupid idiot." Ben then starts to say and he can already tell his dad and brother want to say something, but he keeps his finger in place, although thankfully to his relief Sarah remained silent, although he can tell she wants to say something. "In my defence, I'm twelve and very emotional right now but basically and sorry for this Dad, but I do love Mitch more than I love you, I still love you heaps but you know how close me and Mitch are to each other and well I just confused myself by thinking because I loved Mitch more and he did all those dad things with me, that it meant he should be my dad, I know how stupid that is now, but it's the truth." He then finishes explaining, before he removes his finger from his dads lips, but keeps one over his brothers and they both get the message.
"So you don't want Mitch to be your dad and you're happy with me as your dad?" Mike asks tentatively as he tries to process everything his youngest son had just told them.
"Yeah, I mean Mitch is going to be an awesome dad and if he were mine I would be so lucky, but I'm already lucky because I have you as my dad." Ben answers sincerely. "Dad I'm so sorry for upsetting you, but Matt made me see sense and I just want you as my dad and Mitch as my older brother." He then states, before removing his finger from his brothers lips.
"I'm so proud of you Son." Mike then says as he cuddles his youngest son tightly for a few moments before releasing him.
"So no more, I want you to be my dad crap from now on then?" Mitch then asks with a cheeky smile, he is so relieved right now because he didn't know how they were going to get through that drama.
"Yeah sorry about that, but you're going to be an awesome dad for some lucky kid or kids, you know when you find a girl stupid enough to go out with you." Ben then says with a cheeky smile and gets a well deserved playful punch on the shoulder and he feigns injury as they all chuckle.
"Little sod." Mitch then says as he ruffles his little brothers hair.
"What did Matt say exactly." Sarah then asks a little nervously and everyone turns to her. "You know to make you figure everything out?" She adds, as everyone then turns to Ben who is blushing slightly.
"He just said that the dad stuff was what any older brother would do for their little brother and then said the thing about me loving Mitch more than dad, again sorry dad." Ben says, giving his dad a shy look. "Then asked me if I loved him more than I loved Mitch and I said yes, sorry Mitch." He then says, giving his older brother the shy look this time, which gets a chorus of chuckles.
"So that's it?" Mitch then asks, it sounded more blunt than he intended, but his little brother responds before he can apologise.
"No idiot, after that he pointed out that my logic was stupid, if I thought you should be my dad because I loved him more, that would mean I should want him to be my dad because I love him more than you and then it all made sense... it made me see how stupid I was being and well here I'm." Ben then explains with a big grin and waits for someone to say something.
"So Matt talked to you, like a real conversation?" Sarah then asks, she knows she is being a little selfish changing the conversation away from what they were talking about, but she really wanted to know about her son and if he was starting to make a breakthrough.
"Oh yeah, it was a bit awkward and stuff but well, he is getting better." Ben responds blushing and while Sarah and Mike look on happily at the news, Mitch gives his little brother a suspicious look and Ben notices his brother staring at him. "Mitch, why are you looking at me like that?" He then asks, feeling a little worried about the slight grin on his brothers face.
"You did something didn't you?" Mitch then asks as he tries to keep a straight face, he had seen the look on his little brothers face enough times to recognise it.
"Oh crap er... maybe." Ben answers and starts blushing as he looks shyly at his dad and Sarah before looking back at Mitch. "Shut up!" He then says, but he can't hide his smile.
"So you do love him more then you love me." Mitch then states, deciding to tease him a little bit.
"More than anything in the world." Ben says with a big grin and just gives up trying to hide his happiness.
"The whole world, you sure you love him that much?" Mitch then asks and starts to get a little carried away with the teasing.
"Mitch I love him more than anything in the whole universe and I'm going to MARRY HIM ONE DAY!" Ben responds, as he lets his excitement get the better of him and turns bright red when he shouts out the last few words and both Sarah and Mike gasp in shock and Mitch is left speechless.
"WE ARE SO NOT GETTING MARRIED!" Matt's then shouts out from within the room and it takes everyone a few moments to realise who it was and where the shout had come from, but they all burst out laughing and Sarah puts her head on Mike's shoulder as she cries in happiness at hearing her sons voice for the first time in weeks.
"YEAH WE ARE, I ALREADY GOT YOU WEARING A RING, SO WE JUST NEED A CHURCH AND SOME DUDE WITH A WHITE COLLAR AND WE ARE GOOD TO GO." Ben shouts back with a huge grin, that Mitch doesn't think could get any bigger if his little brother tried.
"CREEP!" Matt shouts back and this time Ben runs into the room. "Hey what are you..." Matt tries to say, but before he can finish he is already being kissed and he finds himself kissing his boyfriend back instantly.
"Love you so much, see you in a few hours, I'm hungry." Ben then says after he breaks the kiss smiling, he then looks his boyfriend in the eyes and says "Amor Vincit Omnia." Before running out of the room and shutting the door behind him, he then grabs his brother by the wrist and pulls him out of his seat to the nearest toilet, leaving his boyfriend totally shocked in his room and both his dad and Sarah looking bemused.
"Whoa Ben, what the hell?" Mitch says as his little brother finally releases his wrist, when the toilet door closes behind them, Ben then reaches around and locks the door before catching his breath.
"I kissed him Mitch." Ben finally says with a smile. "He kissed me back Mitch, like really kissed me back and he smiled at me just like he used to Mitch." He then says, getting more and more excited and Mitch has to hold his little brother by the shoulders just to keep him still.
"That's amazing Ben." Mitch says, before his little brothers excitement gets the better of him and he interrupts.
"Did you hear him shout out Mitch, did you?" Ben asks excitedly as he still manages to bounce around a little, despite Mitch trying to hold him still.
"Yes I think the whole hospital heard you both Ben." Mitch says with a genuine smile, he was ecstatic himself and was only holding it back to let his little brother enjoy his own moment.
"Mitch, I was just excited when I said what I said about marrying..." Ben then begins to say, but Mitch decides to interrupt him before he can finish.
"Ben, we all know you aren't actually going to marry...." Mitch starts to say, but when he feels his little brothers finger against his lips he stops talking.
"No silly, I was going to say even though I didn't mean to say it, I meant it." Ben then says, before taking a deep breath. "I want to marry him Mitch." He then states and removes his finger, so his brother can say something.
"Ben that is great, but you're only twelve and..." Mitch starts to say, but stops talking as his little brothers finger touches his lips again and he can't help thinking how this finger thing had now become their families way of interrupting each other.
"Don't be a dumb ass, I mean I want to marry him one day, not now you idiot, like when we are... well I don't know how old we have to be, but I love him and we are going to be together forever Mitch." Ben then explains and removes his finger again.
"You're amazing, you know that Ben." Mitch says, ruffling his little brothers hair. "The legal age is eighteen by the way and sixteen if your parents consent." He then tells his little brother and leans down to kiss him on the forehead.
"So we could get married when we are sixteen? That is so cool." Ben asks excitedly.
"Ben will you do me a favour though?" Mitch asks in a serious tone, that gets his little brothers full attention.
"Yeah anything." Ben responds with a smile, but he is a little hesitant to get too excited.
"Can you wait until you're at least eighteen please?" Mitch then asks, Ben is surprised by the question but he is curious about why his brother wanted him to wait.
"Okay, but why?" Ben asks, but he doesn't get why that is important at all.
"Because I want to take you and Matt on a stag night and you can't drink until you're eighteen, so it would really mean a lot to me if you waited." Mitch explains honestly and Ben smiles at his brother.
"That is so awesome, I didn't even think about that, or any of it really... I can't wait to see Matt's reaction." Ben responds happily, but Mitch tenses a little.
"Ben, be careful around Matt for a while." Mitch tries to say as friendly as he can, but he can tell his little brother is surprised by what he had said.
"What, why?" Ben asks, confused by his brothers warning.
"Look Ben, hearing Matt shout out and then about him kissing you back is amazing, truly amazing but he has a long way to go to get better and I think you need to let him concentrate on that and not distract him with other things." Mitch explains to his little brother, feeling bad for dampening his happiness, but he doesn't want him to get ahead of himself.
"Oh." Is all Ben can think of to say in reply, he knew his brother was right but he was convinced being honest and open with his boyfriend was the right thing to do.
"So you understand what I'm telling you?" Mitch asks, not quite sure how to take his little brothers brief response.
"Yeah, but... Mitch..." Ben starts to say, almost too quietly for his brother to hear him, before trailing off.
"Ben I'm just warning you, I don't want to see you upset but it is your decision and if you want to talk to him about things like this, then that it is up to you okay?" Mitch decides to say, after realising his little brother wasn't going to say anything else.
"So you won't be mad at me?" Ben asks, looking up at his brother curiously.
"Of course not you dumb ass, but please just be careful." Mitch says and kneels down in front of him. "Matt is fragile and while he seems okay now, he could go back to how he was." He then says and again feels awful for saying these things, but he has to make sure his little brother knows things are not going to be easy.
"Mitch?" Ben then says, as he looks his brother in the eyes.
"Yeah Ben?" Mitch answers with a warm smile.
"Matt wants me to talk with him later." Ben says before pausing, he wants to see his brothers reaction before he carries on.
"What about?" Mitch asks, he isn't really sure what else to say and just felt like he had to say something.
"I don't know but... I think it is going to be a good talk, but er... can you make sure er... no one like interrupts us please?" Ben responds nervously, although he isn't sure why he is feeling nervous about everything all of a sudden.
"Well I will try Ben, but if a doctor or nurse wants to get in there is nothing I can do about it." Mitch responds truthfully, he would do what he could of course to give them some time to talk alone, but he could only do so much.
"I know, but I just don't want anyone coming in and scaring Matt, he has only just started talking again." Ben says and feels himself being pulled into his brothers arms and enjoys the loving warmth of his body.
"I know, come on then let's get you back to your boyfriend." Mitch then says, before he releases his little brother and gets to his feet.
"Not yet, he said in like one or two hours." Ben responds, before smiling. "Oh and he wants an OJ with lots of ice." He then adds and gives his brother a quick kiss, before unlocking the toilet door and motioning for Mitch to leave.
"You can go out first you know." Mitch then says, smiling at his little brothers happiness.
"Nah, you need to get out first." Ben says as his smile turns into a grin.
"Why?" Mitch asks curiously as he decides to play along with whatever his little brother is up to.
"Because I need to get rid of this." Ben answers and looks down towards his jeans, Mitch follows his little brothers gaze and suddenly blushes a little and looks up quickly.
"Oh er... why... how long have... oh..." Mitch stutters, he isn't quite sure what to say and is slightly horrified his little brother seems to have gotten a boner, while they were in the toilet together and he had hugged him.
"Eww Mitch." Ben then says, as he sees the look on his brothers face.
"What?" Mitch asks, now feeling confused as well as horrified.
"I had it since I kissed Matt." Ben then says and he can see the relief on his brothers face, but is also bemused that his brother hadn't noticed earlier. "Why do you think I ran here?" He then says with a shy grin.
"Oh... shit... well fuck this Ben, see you in a little while and for fuck sake be quiet and lock the door behind me." Mitch says as he quickly ruffles his horny little brothers hair and leaves the toilet.
"Just go away." Ben says, as he watches his brother close the door, he is already pulling his jeans and briefs down before the door shuts and scuffles across the room to lock the door, before he takes his shirt off, he then kicks his jeans off before kicking his briefs off and admiring his four and a half inch boner and sits himself on the toilet seat and imagines his boyfriend is the one stroking it.
Fifteen minutes later
"You feeling okay Ben?" Mike asks in a concerned voice, as he watches his youngest son walk towards them looking flushed.
"Oh jeez." Mitch then says as he looks at his little brother, who is not only looking flushed, but is also definitely glowing in the aftermath of successful bit of self pleasure and he has to look away to hide his amusement from his dad, who seems oblivious to his youngest sons activities.
"Er... oh er... yeah just a bit hot in here I guess." Ben replies nervously, as tries to check himself over to make sure nothing is too obvious without anyone noticing.
"Are you sure you're okay Ben, I could get a nurse to take a look at you." Sarah then says and Mitch has to pretend to cough to cover his laughter.
"No er... I'm fine thank you anyway." Ben responds and can feel himself blushing and secretly cursing his brother for laughing at him, even if he did at least cover it with a cough.
"Okay well if you feel ill later Son, come and tell one of us okay?" Mike then says, still concerned about his youngest son, but also becoming suspicious at his eldest sons apparent amusement at the situation, but before he can give it any more thought Ben starts talking again.
"Hmm Dad, can I have some money please?" Ben asks, wanting to not only change the subject but also thinking about his boyfriend.
"Why do you need money?" Mike asks, he has no problem giving either of his sons money, but he still likes to know what they want with it.
"To buy me and Matt some OJ, he wants me to bring him some with lots of ice, so we can drink while we talk about stuff." Ben answers honestly, he has no reason to lie although he doesn't quite know why he felt the need to say all of that.
"He wants to talk with you?" Sarah asks in surprise, before Mike gets a chance to say anything.
"Yeah isn't it great?" Ben states with an excited smile and Sarah can't help but smile as well.
"It is wonderful Ben, it really is." Sarah then says in a cheerful tone, but then she can't help but feel sad and hurt, she was his mother and he was afraid of her and she didn't know why, which hurt even more.
"Okay Ben, take this." Mike then says, handing over $10 after sensing Sarah was not really as happy as she was pretending to be and knew why.
"Cool." Ben says as he takes the money and walks away, well more like skipped away and Mitch has to have another pretend coughing fit to hide his amusement.
"Okay Mitch, what is going on with you?" Mike asks his eldest son, as his youngest son disappears from sight.
"What? Nothing..." Mitch responds in surprise, he didn't expect his dad to pay any attention to him and now he felt himself blush.
"Yeah right, now spill, what's with the laughing and blushing?" Mike asks in a firm tone, normally he wouldn't bother pushing this any further, but he felt like there was something his eldest son was hiding.
"Dad..." Mitch says in an almost whiny voice and Mike knows he is on to something and by the look on his dads face, Mitch knows he just sealed his own fate and would have to tell him the truth.
"Don't dad me, Son." Mike states firmly and Mitch sighs in defeat.
"Dad, just think about what you just saw and then think to when you were his age." Mitch decides to say, with Sarah sitting next to him there was no way he is going to say it himself and just hopes his dad understands and shuts up.
"What the hell is that meant... oh... oh no way, you're kidding... please tell me you're kidding Mitch." Mike says in horror, as he realises what his youngest son had been doing and in a hospital toilet as well.
"Nope, it happened." Is all Mitch says before standing up, he feels like getting some fresh air and maybe giving Wesley a call, he had promised the young boy he would let him know if anything changes with Matt and had completely forgotten about it and it was also a great excuse to get away from his dad and having to risk talking about his little brothers, embarrassing new habits.
"What are you two talking about?" A very confused looking Sarah asks, she had seen Ben and heard this conversation, but for the life of her she couldn't figure it out.
"Oh er... nothing Sarah, just trust me on that please." Mike answers her and then turns to his eldest son. "Mitch where are you going?" He then asks, now noticing his eldest son has stood up and is holding his phone.
"I just need some fresh air Dad and I promised I would give Wesley a call if there was any news on Matt." Mitch answers honestly, as he starts to turn away from his dad and Sarah.
"Okay, see you in a little while then Mitch." Mike says, as he watches his eldest son walk away from him.
"Okay." Mitch responds and just as he is about to head around the corner, he turns back to his dad. "Tell Ben I will be back in fifteen minutes and to wait for me before he goes in." He then says and disappears out of sight, before his dad even has a chance to answer.
Looking at his watch Mitch picks up his pace, he hadn't expected to take this long, it had been almost twenty five minutes since he went to get some fresh air and just knew his little brother would not be happy if he made him wait too long.
"Hey guys, sorry I was gone..." Mitch begins to says, as he walks towards his dad, little brother and Sarah, but Ben is already up on his feet with two glasses in one hand and a jug of OJ with ice in the other, who to Mitch's relief seems to be more excited than annoyed.
"About time." Ben states as he looks at his brother, he should be mad about having to wait and he would have every right to be he thought to himself, but he was so excited to see his boyfriend that he couldn't be angry even if he tried. "Now can I go in?" He then asks, as he turns to his dad.
"Well that is up to Mitch, he was the one who wanted you to wait." Mike answers, before he turns to his eldest son.
"Mitch?" Ben quickly says, with his best pleading face.
"Sure and don't worry, I will be out here the whole time." Mitch says, as he moves over to his little brother and leans down. "Just remember to close the blinds when you go in and don't worry about anyone coming in, I will make sure you have a few minutes if any doctors or nurses want to come in." Mitch then whispers in his ear, making sure neither his dad or Sarah can hear him.
"Bye everyone." Is all Ben says as he gives everyone a quick look, but making sure to wink at his brother, before he turns and walks into his boyfriends room.
Shutting the door behind him, Ben makes his way over to his boyfriends bed, who he notices is looking at him with a mischievous grin, neither boy says a word though as they wait for the other to say something, but just as his boyfriend decides to break the silence, Ben puts the glasses and jug of OJ down and walks away from him, Matt watches him intently wondering what he is up to when he sees him closing the blinds to both windows of the room and then the blind on the door window, Ben then turns around to look at his boyfriend and is about to say something himself when his boyfriend beats him to it.
"Strip." Matt then orders in a serious tone and despite his best efforts, he can't help but grin.
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