Julien
by Engor
Chapter 43
Julien had been translating Ugo's story aloud for the benefit of his parents, and when the story ended there was a long silence as everyone tried to come to terms with what they had heard. Julien's mother was the first to shake herself out of her trance.
"We're going to need some time to think about this," she said. "Obviously I don't want you going back to that... that place. If I understood properly, it sounds as if there are some people there who seriously want to harm you. I understand that they need you, but I'm sure there must be someone else who could take your place. But if you absolutely have to go back, I hope you'll take us with you to... what was the place called again?"
"Aleth," Julien told her, surprised that his mother, whom he had always thought to be completely lacking in any spirit of adventure, should suggest such a thing. "But that might not be easy. Ugo... well, Yol... can probably draw a klirk for us – after all, he already did it once..."
The Guide pricked up his ears and wagged his tail. He looked exactly like the proverbial 'dog who can almost talk'. It ought to have been funny, but instead Julien found it terribly sad, so much so that he could feel his eyes brimming with tears: that a being as intelligent, refined and sensitive as a Master Guide could find himself trapped in the body of an animal, with no other way to express himself than barking or wagging his tail, was almost heartbreaking. He'd loved Ugo the dog just like children always love their pets. But this was Yol the Guide, who had never stopped searching for him and who had given up everything in order to find him. He'd had years of torture trapped in this inadequate body, and yet he had still been able to send him – even though he, Julien, had no memory of what he had once been – back to his destiny as Master of the Nine Worlds. Yol had sent him back with no hope of ever being rewarded for it. He had sacrificed himself for the Emperor he loved, and for the red-haired boy he had become. And what the boy felt for Yol now bore no comparison with the slightly condescending fondness he had felt for Ugo the dog.
"Mum," he said, after swallowing the lump in his throat, "it's very difficult to transport more than one person at a time. I don't know if Yol and I could actually do it. We'd certainly need to do some training. And even if we can do it... well, I don't know what might be waiting for me when I get back to Aleth. It could be a bit..."
"Dangerous?" completed his mother. "Is that it?"
"Well, yes. But," he added immediately, "I really have got to go back. They must be in complete panic back on Nüngen."
"Maybe they are, but you can't just rush off and throw yourself into the middle of a battle you don't understand! There are limits, you know!"
"Nobody understands what's going on," answered Julien. "And you and Dad have told me over and over again that it's not enough to stand up for your rights: you also have to do your duty. I have duties over there."
"Yes, I know, but... No, of course, you're right. It's just that I'm afraid for you. That's why I want us to go with you when you go back."
Up to this point Mr Berthier had listened in silence.
"Julien can't take us with him, Isabelle," he said. "He's trying not to hurt us, but he knows that if he goes it'll have to be without us. Hopefully one day, when everything is settled, he'll be able to find a way to let us know that he's all right. I don't think we can ask anything more of him now, and it's better for us to admit that here and now. If we can do that we'll be able to get through the next few days without making him feel guilty for leaving us behind."
"Thanks, Dad," said Julien. "In any case we can't go straight away. There must be loads of stuff Yol will have to teach me, and then we'll have to find a point on Nüngen to aim at – it would be stupid to arrive to find them, whoever 'they' are, waiting for us."
"We'll need to straighten things out with the police, too," said his father. "That might be a bit tricky... but one of the detectives suggested that you might have run off with a bunch of hippies, or something. Obviously I said I thought you were far too young to do something like that, and that such an idea would never have crossed your mind... but maybe if I go back to him, apologise and say that I was wrong and he was right, he might not be inclined to go digging. I'm afraid you'll probably have to come with me, and that'll mean letting them give you a lecture, but obviously we can hardly tell them the truth, can we? Maybe you could say that you took some LSD without realising it, and that's why you stayed with them for a few days before coming home. And of course if you were spaced out you wouldn't be able to remember any of their names, or what they looked like..."
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