Rat in a Drain Ditch
A story by e
Chapter 1
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time. At least this guy was good looking. Seemed kind of pleasant too. Most of them were old, fat, bald guys whose dicks smelled like they hadn't bathed in weeks and tasted even worse. I usually went into the bathroom and threw up afterwards, then tried to find someone who would take the money I'd made and buy me a bottle of whiskey to take the taste out of my mouth. I'd drink and sometimes even the pain in my ass would go away. I could usually count on having them get me high first. At least then I would feel numb when it happened. If I was lucky I wouldn't even remember it. Ten bucks, sometimes five if they were really cheap and business was slow. Hey, you gotta survive, right? Once in a while I'd get lucky and find a rich one. They'd take you home or to some fancy hotel. You could eat good then. Get cleaned up. Even sleep in a real bed. A hundred bucks and a hotel room and the guy could buy me for the weekend. I didn't even mind if he wanted to tie me up.
This guy looked like he could be one of those. He was clean and wore nice clothes. His shirt had a Hilfiger label. He couldn't be too rich, though. He drove a Ford. I looked over at him. Probably mid-twenties, blond hair, spiked up a bit with a thin tail in back, green eyes, five o'clock shadow. He was tall and muscular, but not Arnold Schwarzenegger muscular. Just sort of regular guy muscular.
He didn't seem to be a talker either. I hated those. They felt like they couldn't fuck you if they didn't get to know you first. So far, this guy hadn't even asked my name. It was better that way.
Fuck! We were pulling into the T-Bird Motel. This guy was just another loser who happened to drive a new car and wear nice clothes. At least he wouldn't pay for more than an hour. I could probably do him in less than half that. Then I could have time to turn another trick tonight.
*******
"Whores! Queers! Mother-fuckers! You're all going to burn!"
I opened my eyes. The sun was already out. Somehow I'd managed to sleep late this morning. I smiled as she walked past. Emma looked down at me.
"You're going to hell young man." Her voice was squeaky, yet gravelly at the same time. You'd have to hear it to understand.
"So are you, you old hag."
"Hehehehe." She cackled like an old witch. Looked like one to. Smelled even worse. Even though it was summer she'd been wearing the same dirty coat ever since I'd met her. Never took it off. She'd been pushing the same shopping cart, too. Packed full of old rags and junk.
"You will burn, you know." She tossed me a package of donuts. Looked like the rats had been in them.
"At least I'll be warm in the winter time."
"Faggots! Pimps! Fuckin' bums!" She pushed her cart on down the street.
Some fucked up bum had tried to take her cart a few months ago. I split his fuckin' head open with a two by four. Emma had always looked out for me. That was my chance to return the favor. Every morning she'd throw me some little scrap of food. It always looked like it had come out of a dumpster. I never ate it. But I didn't want to tell her that. Never knew when I might be so desperate that it would look good. Fact is I had been that desperate once. I put the donuts in my pocket.
*******
"Rat! Hey Rat! Wait up!" Most guys wouldn't like that name. It implied a little too much cooperation with authorities if you get my drift. But I didn't mind.
I turned to see a tall skinny kid running my way. He was all arms and legs. Big eyes and big teeth.
"Scooter! S'up dude!" Fuck yeah. The day was looking up. No doubt Scooter could turn me onto some kind bud and hot grub. I might have to blow him. But with Scooter I didn't mind. He'd return the favor, get me high, and take care of the munchies. Scooter was good people. I met him after I'd crawled up on the patio in back of his house to get out of the rain. He told me I looked like a drowned rat. The name stuck. He'd been the second one to call me a rat that morning and he was just as right as the first. Compared to the rest of my puny little body, I had big hands, big feet, and a big head with big round eyes and a wide mouth with thin lips. Soaking wet I didn't look like much. Especially with my shaggy hair matted down and my clothes clinging to my body. At least when I was dry my hair stuck out every which way and my baggy clothes made it look like there might be something inside them.
I raised my right fist into the air and Scooter tapped it with his as he approached.
"Wanna get high?"
"Does a fly wanna get shit-faced?" I flashed a quick smile and followed him back to his pad. Scoot was pretty much on his own. His mom was a nurse and worked two jobs. Six twelve hours days just to make ends meet. He didn't have a dad. Immaculate conception, he called it. Long as he didn't run around claiming to be Jesus Christ he could call it anything he wanted.
He handed me the pipe. I hit what was left in the bowl and loaded a second, took a nice long toke and passed it back his way.
"So you gonna blow me or what?" He grabbed his package and gave it a squeeze.
I smiled and pulled my shirt over my head.
"Damn dude, you need to get some meat on those bones."
"Yeah, I got your meat right here." I grabbed my crotch.
"That little thing? It ain't even an appetizer, dude."
"Like you should be talkin'" He always teased me about my dick. It wasn't that small. Close to average, I'd guess. Between my skinny little legs, it actually looked pretty big. But it didn't compare with his. Scoot had a long skinny one. We'd compared sizes. His was at least an inch longer, maybe a little more. But mine was just as thick. Our balls were about the same size, though mine hung lower. He wasn't circumcised. I liked that. Made it look a little strange, but it was more fun to play with.
He stepped towards me and I took him into my mouth. This was the only time I ever enjoyed sex. Usually it was just business. Get the guy off and get out. Not with Scoot. I always wanted to take my time.
He lasted nearly half an hour with me driving him crazy. He was begging me to let him cum. Finally I gave in.
It didn't take me nearly as long. I never jacked off and it had been three days since I'd let a john suck my dick. I was horny as hell. Scoot was a little disappointed. He wanted to tease me the way I'd teased him. I just laughed.
Scoot pulled his pants back on, but I stayed naked. We threw my clothes in the wash and headed into the kitchen for some munchies.
"Wanna chill at the beach?" I asked.
"No coin, dude."
I reached into my pocket, then flashed a couple of tens. "Two tricks last night. I can spring for bus fare and maybe a couple of sodas and burgers."
"Cool dude."
We finished eating and put my clothes in the dryer. Scoot got me a pair of his trunks and a t-shirt and we headed out the door.
Scooter had tried to move me into his house once. His mom just about threw us both out when she found me there. I'd been there a week. She couldn't figure out where all the groceries were going. That's about as much attention as she paid to her son. It was easier for her to notice an empty refrigerator.
*******
Nothing like some kind bud, an afternoon at the beach, and a couple of hot burgers to make me forget what I am and where I came from. I liked to forget. Remembering made me dead inside.
My dad had a family of his own. He'd fucked around on his wife a lot, I guess. My mom was one of his bimbos. He threw her out with the rest of the trash when she told him she was pregnant. That's all my mom would tell me about him.
He denied he knew my mother when I showed up on his front doorstep at the age of twelve. Said he was the wrong guy, but he was a skinny little runt, just like me. It was him. I had gone through some of my mom's papers and found my birth certificate. It had his name and the city where I was born. I hitchhiked 300 miles just to find him. Looked him up in the phone book when I got there. Don't know why I expected anything. I damn near starved to death before the police found me and put me on a bus back home.
I think that's the only time I ever met him. It's the only time I remember, anyways.
*******
Scooter got me high when we got back to his place. I blew him again too. He wanted to do me, but I couldn't let him. I had plans and might need my juice tonight. I had decided to head over to the hot dog stand on Fairfax. I didn't go there often. Too much competition. That was where all the really pretty boys hung out. Waiting for some movie exec to pick them up. Lot's of money to be made there if you were hot enough. I wasn't. But tonight it didn't matter. I'd rather end up with nobody at all than have to do some smelly old queer.
That's pretty much what I ended up with. Nothing at all. I spent the last of my cash on a dog and a Coke and walked back to the Regina Apartments. I usually slept under a bush out back. Emma would be by in the morning. I was kinda hoping she'd have a donut for me.
*******
It was the sleepless nights that were the worst. That's when the memories would creep in. They were more shadow than memories. Sometimes I wished I could remember more. Mostly, I was glad I couldn't. My mother and her endless string of boyfriends. I didn't mind the ones who had paid attention to just her. It was the ones who paid attention to me that I couldn't stand. I remember them all, from Jared, the guy who locked me in the closet for days at a time, to Bruce, the guy who loved to beat me senseless, to Dale, the guy who'd been the first to fuck me. I was only eight. He came into my room one night after my mom had passed out, drunk. With the smell of alcohol on his breath, he put his hand over my mouth and tore my pajamas from my body. He threatened to kill my mother if I told anyone. I can still feel how much it hurt as he took me, the ripping, the tearing, the burning that lasted for weeks. It was more than a month before I could even take a dump without breaking into tears. I used to lay in bed at night and think up new ways to kill him, to torture him. I still want to. But I suppose I should be grateful. He showed me how to survive.
*******
Emma didn't make it this morning. Either that or I slept through the squeaking and clanging of her cart and her cackling and screeching of obscenities. It was hard for me to imagine what could have happened to her that she ended up like that. Must have been pretty awful. But she cared about me. I wished she could be my mom.
If Emma wasn't coming by, maybe Scooter would be home. It was only three blocks to his place. I could eat there, maybe even get a bath. No such luck. The house was empty. I took a nap on the porch hoping he would come home, but hunger soon forced me to try plan C.
"Hey mister, got any change." The guy looked at me, shook his head and kept on going. "Please. I'm hungry." It was no use. I'd just spent an hour outside the 7-11. I had 39 cents to show for my efforts. I couldn't even get a Coke with that. I really needed one, too. It was hot, probably at least ninety degrees and the sun was wearing on me.
Plan D. I tried pick up a john on Santa Monica Boulevard. The fucking place was dead. Just too hot I guess. Even the horny fucking bastards weren't out. But it was starting to cool off. Must be getting on towards dinner time. I hadn't even had breakfast, yet.
The final alternative was the 7-11. I opened the door and walked in and headed straight for the back isle where they keep the Cokes. One can went into each pocket. I turned around and stuffed a bag of chips into my pants. I shot a quick glance at Amir working behind the counter. He was busy with a customer. Moving towards the door, I grabbed a couple of snack cakes from the shelf and bolted.
"Hey! Stop you little fucking thief!." I wasn't about to turn around. This little rat was headed straight for the safety of the sewers.
I was sitting between the garage and the bushes behind some apartment building when I pulled out my dinner. "You done good, Rat. A large bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, two Hostess Cupcakes, and two cans of Coke. Should be enough to keep me going until I turn my next trick."
*******
"Just shut the fuck up and get in the fuckin' van, kid."
The guy shoved me and I fell against the side of the van. I stumbled though the side door. There was another man inside. He pushed me towards a seat in the back.
"Here. Drink this." He handed me a whiskey bottle. Jack Daniels. There was still a couple of ounces in the bottom. I gulped it down and tossed the bottle on the floor. It was then that I noticed he had been snapping photographs. The van started moving.
"You smoke?" The little bronze pipe he was holding out in my direction told me he didn't mean cigarettes.
I took the pipe and the lighter that followed. I intended to get as fucked up as I could. These three were certainly going to be rough. I didn't want to feel it. They'd promised forty bucks and a couple meals. All I had to do was let them fuck my brains out, suck some cock, and model for some pictures. I knew there wouldn't be any better offers coming any time soon.
They took me to a house in the middle of the fucking desert. I began to wonder whether I would see that forty they had promised. I could end up with a knife in my back just as easily.
They rammed my ass with cock and dildos all night long and through most of the next day. I was tied down through most of it and slapped around a bit. One of them grabbed me by the balls and squeezed so hard I puked all over myself. They just laughed and filmed the whole thing. At some point I passed out, probably from the dope. I came to just before they tossed me out of the van, naked. My clothes came next. They drove away.
I picked up my clothes and started dressing in the middle of the street. I had no idea where I was. There was a small group of people who had stopped to watch the naked little boy. I must have looked pretty ridiculous, they had shaved my pubes. I didn't even remember it.
I just started walking. I figured at some point I would recognize something. I stuck my hand in my pocket. That's when I felt it. A crumpled piece of paper. I pulled it out. It was a twenty. I chuckled. They'd at least paid me half. I rounded the corner.
"Oh shit!" I not only realized where I was, I realized that I didn't even want to be here. I was in the middle of turf that belonged to the Westside Diablos and I was standing in front of six of them.
I turned to run but it was too late.
When I came to, I found myself lying face down in the street. I had no idea how I got there.
"Aaaaaaahhhh!" All I had done was move. The pain in my side shot through my body like a flaming arrow. I gasped for breath. My hand went for my side. It felt wet. I looked down. Blood. I moved my hand, it was just dripping with it. I raised my shirt. I couldn't see, it hurt too bad. I felt around. There was a hole in my side. It was about as long as my thumb and really deep.
I fought the pain long enough to raise my head and look around. I wanted to see if someone could help. There was no one. I wasn't even on the same street. I was across the street from Diablo turf. They must have dumped me there. I wasn't far from the Regina. Just a couple blocks. It was starting to get dark. If only I could make it home.
*******
Squeak, squeak, BANG! Squeak, squeak BANG!
"Fucking assholes! Bastards! Faggots! You'll burn I tell you!"
Emma! It had to be her. I opened my eyes. It was daylight. I was under a bush. This was my bush. Somehow I'd made it home. If I can only get out where she can see me. I tried to move.
"Aaaaaahhhhg!" The tears came to my eyes. It hurt. Oh God did it hurt. I sobbed and cried. "Momma!" I called out as loud as I could.
"Rat! Is that you my little Rat?"
"Momma! Help!" The words barely escaped my lips. I was too weak to yell any louder.
"Fuck! Shit! Where is my little Rat?"
I sniffled and sobbed, gasping for breath. There weren't any more words left in me.
"Oh. There you are."
I looked up at her. "Help me Momma." It was a mere whisper.
"Look. I've got donuts. Fuck! Good ones, too. Fresh." She tossed one at me. It hit me in the face and rolled away.
"Come on Rat, eat. Make you feel better."
"Doctor Momma. Hurt. Doctor, please."
I felt her tugging at me. "ahh-ahhh-ahhh-aaahhg." I'd swear she was ripping me apart. I think I passed out from the pain.
Squeak, squeak BANG! Squeak, squeak BANG!
"Fuckers! Whores! Hell! That's where you're going."
I was being bounced around. Oh God it hurt. I tried to look. I was folded in half, my head looking at my knees, my arms in the air and my feet dangling. Somehow Emma must have put me in her shopping cart. It must be her that's pushing me. I couldn't see, but the unmistakable cackling and swearing told me it was her.
"But not you my little Rat. It is not your time to burn."
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