Into the Lion's Den
A story by e
© 2002 SunShine DayDreamers UnLimited
DISCLAIMER: This story contains descriptions of sexual encounters between minors that are homosexual in nature. If offended by such things or if you are not of legal age in the country where you live, then read no further. The characters and events depicted in this story are completely fictional and any resemblance to any real persons, places, or events is purely coincidental. This story may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the author.
Chapter 8
Damn. Why did it have to be him? He was the last person I wanted to see right now. It had been six weeks and I was still pissed as hell at him. I was finally being allowed to have my first visitor, aside from my parents or my aunt and uncle, and it would have to be Joey. I was sitting in the chair beside my bed just staring into space.
"What's got you so down?"
"Oh, hey Elf." Elf was this really cool little guy I had met when I was first brought into the group home. His real name was Aelfred, after some ancestor who lived hundreds of years ago. His parents called him Freddie, but he was so small everyone else called him Elf. He was the only other gay boy in the program, at least that I knew of. He made no secret of it and had been treated really bad by the other boys. But now he'd been there longer than anyone and no one seemed to care anymore, though he still didn't have many friends.
"I can't believe they're going to make me see Joey."
"I don't know why you're still so mad at him. You're always tellin' me 'bout how much you love him." Since he was gay, I had decided to trust him with my secret. He was the only boy there I had told. After what he and Joey had told me, I wasn't about to come out to anyone else. The staff knew, of course. But they weren't allowed to tell the other boys.
"And I do love him, Elf. But he turned me in. He's why I'm in this hell hole. If he'd just kept his mouth shut, I'd still be home right now." The first thing Joey did when we got back to my aunt's house the night I had almost killed myself was to tell them what happened. They called Joey's psychiatrist and he had me admitted to the hospital for observation, then sent here.
"You know it was the right thing to do. It's one of the two things Dr. Barnes has been drilling into our heads about suicidal people. You don't leave them alone, even for a minute. And you don't keep it a secret, even if you know they'll get mad at you." Elf pulled his own chair into my bed space and sat in it backward with his elbows propped against the back and his chin resting on his hands.
"I know, Elf. It just burns me that I ended up in here. It's not like I would have tried again."
"That's bullshit, Mike. I bet you were thinkin' 'bout it even while you were walking home. Prob'ly planning on tryin' again later that night." The little fucker could be annoying. Elf had been in therapy so long he could crawl inside your head and tell what you were thinking before you even thought it.
"Thinking about it and doing it are two different things." Goddammit, I wish I'd never brought this up.
"Think about it long enough..."
"Oh shut up, Elf." I shook my head and smiled, then we both started laughing.
I hadn't cared much for the hospital, but the group home wasn't all that bad. It was the same one Joey had been to. The staff were pretty cool, though I knew at least a couple of them didn't care for me because I was gay. They could make your life miserable if you didn't learn how to stay out of their way.
My counselor, Bruce, was pretty cool with it. I suspected that maybe he was gay too. But I never asked. The staff didn't tell you too much about themselves. "We're here to straighten out your life, not mine." was a favorite answer when they didn't want to tell you something. But Bruce was fun. He just had a way of bringing a smile to your face. He liked to horse around too. He was always getting in trouble for it. Staff weren't supposed to get involved in horseplay with the kids. They were afraid one of us would get hurt, but Bruce did it anyway.
I liked to get him to chase me around during shower time. I'd start taunting him or give him a couple of playful punches and he'd respond. Soon he'd be chasing me. I'd have nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist and he would catch me and wrestle me to the ground. I always let him win It wasn't like when I had clothes on, because he would never grab me below the waist, but he would get me in a head-lock or a half-nelson and I would struggle just enough to make my towel fall off. Then he'd grab the towel and make me chase him. I think he liked watching my dick flop around, but I couldn't tell if he ever got hard. I almost got hard a couple times, though. He'd do it with other boys, too, but only if the boy started it.
We went to school next door. It was just for us and a few kids from the community who needed to catch up. You worked at your own pace and earned credits as you went. It wasn't anything like what I was used to.
The group home was a series of dorms that housed eighty teenage boys, ten to a dorm and two dorms to a building. There was an administrative office, a gym, an indoor swimming pool, and a football and baseball field.
We did chores in the morning before school. After school there was group therapy, then an activity period, shower time, dinner, a free period, study hall, another activity session, and then bed. We didn't have much time to ourselves except on weekends.
Some kids went home to visit their parents on weekends, others stayed on grounds. It depended of course on whether you had parents to go home to, and whether you behaved yourself during the week.
Boys were sent there for a variety of reasons. Some, like me, had "emotional problems." Others, like Elf, had been abused by their parents and had been too much trouble for foster parents to handle. About half had been arrested and sent there by the Probation Department.
"No Bruce, I don't need a staff person here. I can handle myself."
"You're sure?"
I just glared back at him, frowning a bit, trying to look as disgusted as I could.
"Alright, then. I'll get him." Bruce walked towards the door that was the entrance to the gym.
In the winter, they would arrange chairs into small visiting spaces in the gym where the boys could visit with their guests because it was too cold and snowy to visit outside and there wasn't enough room in the dorm. I had taken a small space in the far corner as far away from everyone else as I could get. I sat in the rather uncomfortable folding metal chair and waited for Bruce to send Joey.
I looked away from him, pretending not to notice as he approached.
"Hi Mike." There was a hesitant smile on his face.
I glared up at him. My eyes were cold and hard.
"I guess you're still mad at me, huh? Dr. Barnes said it would take some time.
I didn't respond until I saw the tears building up in his eyes.
"Then why did you come?" My voice was without emotion.
"I... I... I... I shouldn't have." He turned and started to run.
"Joey! Wait!" I rose from the chair and started after him. "Joey!"
He stopped and turned, slowly. Tears were streaming down his face.
I walked towards him as tears started pouring from my eyes. Dammit. The only thing I had was my anger. Now I was even losing that. I embraced him tight and pulled his head into my chest. I felt his arms go around me.
"I'm not mad at you, Joey. I wanna be. I should be. But I can't even convince myself. No matter how much I try."
Joey looked up at me, his head still in my hand. He smiled sheepishly. "I just wanted you to be ok."
"Yeah, I love you too, Joey." I felt his arms tighten their grip around me. We held each other for a moment. I wanted to kiss him, but realized where I was. A tearful embrace between two guys was gonna be hard enough to explain. Some of the others were already suspicious because of my friendship with Elf. I quickly glanced around the room. At least no one was staring. We broke our embrace and headed back to our chairs.
"I... I'm glad you're not mad." Joey was wiping the tears from his cheeks using his shirt sleeve.
"I need to be mad at somebody. It was just easier to be mad at you than at myself." Six weeks of therapy was starting to kick in as I recalled some of the things Dr. Barnes and some of the counselors had said.
"I love you, Mike."
"I love you too, Joey. I'd show you just how much, except that it would prob'ly draw too much attention if I ripped your clothes off and fucked you silly right now." We both started laughing.
After a few moments Joey got serious again.
"There is another reason I came."
I took a breath and sat up straight. His tone told me that the fun was over for a while.
"Dr. Barnes wanted you to hear it from me." He paused. "The police have continued to investigate Chris' suicide."
"What do you mean? They think it wasn't?"
"No. I mean, yeah, they still think he killed himself."
"Then what's to investigate?" More than just a little confused, I leaned forward.
"They found a journal. They want to talk to you again."
"ME!" My eyes were wide with amazement. I stood and backed a couple of steps away. "They think I had something to do with that?" Oh God, what the fuck did he write about me. I could feel my heart pounding.
"Whoa. Calm down Mike. It's not like that." Joey stood. He reached out and grabbed my hand.
"Then what is it like?"
"Just sit down, will ya?"
I obeyed, but I was still shaking. Joey sat again, too.
"He never told anybody, but Recob was still hassling him. It must have gotten worse after the fight."
"What?" I could feel anger rising above the fear and confusion.
"They talked to me two days ago. They wouldn't tell me what he wrote, but they wanted to know all about his relationship with you and the fight you had with Recob."
"What'd you tell 'em?" I wasn't sure I really wanted to hear the answer. Then again, they already knew most everything.
"Just that he was your boyfriend. You got mad at him because he ran away when Recob beat the crap out of you."
"You told them it was Recob?" I sat back in my chair and took a breath.
"They already knew. Chris must have written about. But it was no real secret anyway."
"No I guess it wasn't. What else did they want?" There had to be more to this than what Joey had already told me, but what?
"They wanted me to talk to you." Joey paused and took a breath.
"About?" I raised my hands to my side, palms up, gesturing him to come on out with it.
"The fight with Recob."
I just looked at him. What the hell could they want with that now?
"After reading Chris' journal, they think it was Recob's harrassment that drove Chris over the edge. But, they can't arrest Ron for what he said to Chris. They know he assaulted both of us. They want us to file charges. Mike, they can put him away if we come forward."
I had been staring intently at Joey, but as he spoke, my gaze shifted to the floor. What had Recob been saying to him? Why hadn't Chris spoken up. I might have been angry with him, but I still loved him. I'd have stood up for him. He had to know that.
"But Joey, I..."
"I know, Mike. You felt guilty because you hit him in the balls. You felt like you owed him a fair fight."
"Yeah, and I lost. Fair and square. No need for anybody to get arrested."
"Just how fair was it, Mike. He had Kirshner backing him up. Ron's twice as big as you. You didn't stand a chance."
"Is that what you want to do, Joey?" I hated it when Joey made sense.
"It's what I shoulda done in the first place. If I had none of this woulda happened." Joey was looking at the ground now.
"No, Joey." I was shaking my head. "If I'd said something when he beat me, he'd have gone to jail. I could've stopped it." A tear fell from my eye and rolled down my cheek. "Mrs. Curtis was right. I killed Chris."
"No Mike. It wasn't just you." If I had said something. There would have been no fight between you and Recob. They'd have arrested him before all this started..."
"But..."
"Let me finish. If Coach Chambers hadn't covered that and at least a dozen other incidents up, it never would have happened. If the school hadn't turned a blind eye. The police knew about things, but did nothing. Ron's dad is a good friend of Mayor Whited. Even he got Ron out of more than one scrape. All because he could play football. It wasn't just you. It wasn't just me. Sure either of us could have stopped it. But so could dozens of other people. It wasn't just the two of us that killed Chris. It was the whole fucking town."
"But I was the last one. The responsibility fell to me. And I did nothing." I stood and walked a few steps away from him.
"And you didn't know. You didn't have all the facts." I felt his hand on my shoulder. "You thought you were doing the right thing. Besides, you weren't the last one. There was someone else."
I spun quickly around and looked him in the eye. "Who?"
"Wait here." Joey ran quickly towards the door.
"Joey!" I started after him.
"Just wait there Mike." He disappeared around the corner leaving me standing by myself.
Seconds later he re-appeared. Kirshner was walking beside him. I just stared, dumbfounded, and watched as they approached.
"What's up, Mike." Joe extended his hand.
I shook it.
He chuckled. "I guess Joey's told you."
"Some, but not what you have to do with this." I was really curious. I couldn't imagine that Kirshner was here to help.
"I knew Ron was up to something. But he wouldn't tell me. After I stopped him from killin' you, he'd just call me a queer lover whenever your name came up. I figured he was gonna try to hurt you. Why do you think I showed up every time you two would bump into each other?"
"You were watchin' out for me?" This was too much. Joe told me that I had gained his respect, but it was still hard to imagine him as my bodyguard.
Joe had a wicked smirk on his face. "Don't flatter yourself. I was watchin' out for me." He raised his hand and tapped his chest with his thumb a couple of times. "After he kicked the shit out of you, the cops came looking for us. They knew I took you to the hospital and didn't believe that I didn't know what happened. They threatened to arrest me. I wasn't about to let that asshole do anything else that might get me in trouble. So every time I saw him get near you or Chris, I got him out of the way." Joe paused and took a breath. "There was one time, though. Just about a week before..." He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Before Chris... you know... killed himself."
"What do you mean, there was one time?" This was turning me inside out. What the fuck was he talking about?
"We were all over at the Plaza. I was lookin' for some shoes. Larkin and Boselli distracted me. I didn't notice that Ron had walked out of the store. Then I saw them through the window. Ron had Chris pushed up against a car in the parking lot. By the time I got out there, Chris was crying and had some blood on his nose. His shirt was all ripped up. It looked like, maybe Ron'd slapped him around a bit."
My fists had clenched as Joe spoke. I could feel the blood rushing to my head. The anger was building up inside me.
"Take it easy, man. I stopped it. The kid was shaken up but not hurt too bad."
"Why the fuck didn't he say something? Damn him."
"Relax Mike. There's nothing you can do about it now." Joey had put his arms around me from behind. He leaned his head against my shoulder.
"Just one last thing." Kirshner looked directly into my eyes. "I don't know if it means anything. You ain't gonna like it, though." Joe stroked his moustache.
"What?" I was still tense, shaking.
"Something, Ron said after the kid had run away." He paused for a breath. "He talked about this kind of stuff before. I never really believed he'd done it. It always sounded like a joke..."
"Just say it, Joe. Whatever it is, I can handle it."
"He said he'd taught the little fairy a lesson. He laughed about it. He said Chris was the best piece of ass he'd ever had."
"You don't... You're not... He... He..." I was in shock. He couldn't have. Could he? No fucking way. It wasn't possible. FUCK!
"I don't know, Mike. I didn't really believe him. He'd said it before, about other guys. He was always kiddin' around about how he'd torn some fairy a new one. I never took it serious. But this time... I'm not so sure..."
I couldn't see. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. Joe's voice seemed to be getting distant.
"Mike. Mike!"
I stared back at him in disbelief.
"Joey says he's talked to the cops. If you talk to them. I'll back you up."
"You... you'd turn in your best friend?" I couldn't believe Kirshner would do something like that.
"He's out of fuckin' control, Mike." Joe's whole demeanor had changed. He'd gone from pleasant to hostile in an instant. His fists were clenched and his jaw tightened as he spoke. "Boselli and Larkin can't see it, but I can. That asshole's gonna get us all arrested. I ain't fuckin' goin' to jail for him."
"You really think they'd arrest him, and you too?" I wasn't sure I wanted to keep him talking about this. I was starting to become afraid of him. Joey had back off a few steps, too. "They never did before."
"Nobody ever died before." Joe's cold eyes were string straight into my own. "They want Ron real bad. That little fairy boyfriend of yours wrote some shit about me in his journal. They picked me up a few days ago. Told me they'd let me go if I could help them nail Ron."
"So what'd you tell 'em?" I still couldn't believe Joe would rat on his best friend.
"Nothin' yet, Joe looked down at the ground. He took a breath and as he did, he softened a bit. "I need your help. Yours and Joey's."
"I don't understand." Joe had to know more than enough to put Ron away. Why did he need us?
"I was with him. I did some of the crimes. I can talk about them, but since I'm just as guilty, they won't just take my word. I need corroboration."
"Then your story's no good without us."
Joe nodded. "All you gotta do is tell them about the fights. I was with him when he beat Joey. I was with him when he beat you. "
"And you walk." This fucker had been there and now he wanted me to help him go scot free. "We could just go to the cops anyway, without you."
"Yeah, but the case is a lot stronger with me. You do want him to go to jail, don'tcha?"
"I'll think about it."
"Aw fuck, man." Sometimes I thought those were the only three words in Elf's vocabulary. "You don't think he really did it, do you?"
"I don't know, man." I shrugged my shoulders.
I'd been walking around in a daze for most of the afternoon. My mind was numb. I couldn't believe want Kirshner had told me. It just couldn't be true. It couldn't. Elf and I had headed to the gym for our evening activity session, but instead of shootin' hoops, we were sitting in a corner talkin'.
"Fuck Elf, I coulda fuckin' stopped this shit. Man, all I had to do was tell the fuckin' cops that Recob was the one who fucked me up. He woulda gone to jail and Chris would still be alive."
"You don't know that, Mike. He mighta done it anyway."
I pulled my knees up to my chest as I sat on the floor, holding them in place by wrapping my arms around them. I looked over at Elf, who was sitting back, leaning against the wall.
"The fucker raped him. That has to be it. Otherwise the fuckin' cops wouldn't give two shits about him."
"You'll pro'bly find out tomorrow."
"Yeah, Dr. Barnes said he'd set it up for me to meet with the detective in the morning."
I nearly jumped out of my skin when the bell rang signalling the end of the activity period. Elf and I got up off the floor and walked to the door where we stood in line waiting for the staff to dismiss us. When the last of the equipment was put away and everyone was in line we were allowed to leave.
The two of us walked silently back to the dorm. As we entered I could here the showers going. A couple of guys walked by wearing nothing but towels. Elf and I continued through the lobby and into the dorm where a couple more guys were getting undressed and ready for bed.
I couldn't help myself. I always had to watch Elf as he undressed. He was about as small as a guy could get. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was no older than eleven or twelve. But he'd just turned sixteen and was a couple of months older than I was. But to me it didn't matter. I thought he was sexy as all get out. Dirty blond hair parted on the left and feathered to curl around his ears. Beady little blue eyes with dark eyebrows that gave him a wild sort of look. Bright smile, wide with teeth that sparkled. And the sweetest little butt cheeks you ever saw. For a moment, I forgot about Chris.
I was nervous as hell as I entered Dr. Barnes office. I hadn't slept very well and when I did, it was nightmare city. I was sick to my stomach after having forced down some pancakes for breakfast.
"Good morning Mr. Paul, this is Detective Jenkins. He's going to be asking a few questions."
"Good morning Michael." Detective Jenkins was dressed in a dark blue suit, white shirt and a narrow-looking blue and red striped tie. I hadn't seen a tie like that in a couple of years. Everyone wore those really wide ones these days. He extended his hand.
"Morning sir." I said as I shook his hand in a good old fashioned handshake. He had a good firm grip. I hoped he didn't think mine was weak. He'd surprised me in that I was used to the more modern handshakes where you locked thumbs. I didn't manage to get much of a grip on his hand before it had closed around mine, mashing my fingers together.
"I suppose you know why I'm here."
"I nodded as he released my hand."
"Go ahead and have a seat." He motioned to the sofa against the side wall of the office.
I sat. Dr. Barnes' office was twice as long as it was wide. The sofa was against the short wall to the left as you entered, his desk was to the right and was situated so that he could sit facing the rest of the room. There were two chairs against the back wall. Detective Jenkins sat in the one closest to the sofa.
"First I want you to tell me a little bit about your relationship with Chris." How long did you two know each other?" He pulled out a small spiral notepad and a pen while he spoke.
I shook my head. "First, you're going to tell me what the fuck is going on."
"Michael, the detective is deserving of some respect. He's got a job to do and you need to answer his questions." Dr. Barnes' voice was stern.
"No sir. He's going to answer some of mine. If he's straight, then I'll tell him what he wants to know." I was not going to allow them to bully me. I knew that if I just let him question me, I'd never find out what really happened. And no fuckin' way was I leaving this room unless I knew.
"You need to answer the questions, son." Jenkins' voice had become hard.
"No. I don't have to say a fuckin' thing." I wouldn't have had the balls to talk to a cop like this before coming to the group home. But half the kids here were sent by probation. I'd learned from them just what I could and couldn't get away with. Besides, I already knew what he really wanted and if he wanted it as bad as Joe thought he did, he'd have to give in.
"Now look here, kid..."
"Michael..." Dr. Barnes tried to interrupt but I ignored him.
"No. You look here. You want my cooperation? Then earn it. I get to read Chris' journal." My voice was as harsh as I could make it without shouting and I was leaning forward.
"I can't show you that journal." Jenkins shook his head.
"Then I ain't sayin' nothin'." I rose and took a step towards the door.
"Unless you want to go to jail, you're goin' to stop right there." He rose and stepped towards me.
"And what would I go to jail for?" I stopped and looked back at him.
"Obstruction of justice for starters. Or I could charge you in Chris' death."
"No fuckin' way. He killed himself" I turned back to the door.
The detective grabbed my arm and spun me back around.
"Sit down, son." He growled. "Maybe there's something in that journal that says otherwise."
I glared up at him. "Either arrest me or let me read the journal. Your choice." This fucker was pissing me off.
Before I even realized it, I was shoved against the wall. My arm was bent around my back and he was slapping the cuffs on me. When he finished he jerked me around and shoved me back onto the sofa.
"Now maybe you'll answer my questions." Jenkins was red-faced with anger.
"Sorry, but I've got the right to remain silent." And they say there's nothing educational on television.
"Then it's off to Juvey for you."
"And then what? Placement? I got news for you. I'm already in fucking placement." Fuckin' jackass gestapo mutherfucker I'm a fucking juvenile. The worst thing they can do to me is send me back here.
Dr. Barnes finally stepped from behind his desk and took the detective into the hall. I just sat there on the sofa, hands cuffed behind me, waiting for them to return.
When they returned I could see that the detective had calmed down just a bit.
"The good doctor seems to think we got off on the wrong foot and that perhaps we should start over. What do you think, Michael?"
"I think that if we are going to start over, then you should take these god damn cuffs off me." There was still a hardness to my voice and I said each would slowly and deliberately. They weren't going to just get me to forgive and forget.
"Michael," it was Dr. Barnes, "you need to calm down."
"I wasn't arrested or in cuffs when we started. I ain't calming down or startin' over til they're off."
"That's alright, doc. He's right." Detective Jenkins stepped towards me and I turned so he could remove the cuffs, though I remained sitting so he would have to bend down to do it.
"Now, we can start again?" He reached out his hand.
I nodded and shook his hand. This time I got a better grip and he couldn't squeeze quite so hard.
"Look Mike, we want Recob, not you. But we do need your help."
"Then we help each other." I looked up at him. "I need to know what happened."
"Fair enough, but I have to ask you some questions first."
"No, you're gonna have to answer my questions first."
"Michael. That attitude is what caused this to get out of hand the first time." Dr. Barnes was shaking his head and pointing his finger at me.
"Sorry Doc, but you're the one who's always talking about how trust is earned. He's the one that cuffed me and threatened to arrest me. If he wants me to trust him, he's gotta earn it." I turned to Detective Jenkins. "If you can't treat me with some respect, there's no way I help you. Either you trust me with Chris' journal, or you can just arrest me now."
The detective bit his lower lip. I could tell that I was still under his skin. He looked first to Dr. Barnes, then back to me as he took a breath.
"I'm not at liberty to let you see the journal, but maybe I can answer a couple of questions." He was trying hard not to explode at me again. "Fair enough?"
I swallowed as I looked at him. What the fuck was he trying to hide? Why can't I see the fucking journal?
"Alright. Was Recob harrassing Chris?"
"Chris wrote that he was being threatened. He described a couple incidents where Recob hit him and pushed him around."
"Nothing else?" This didn't jive with what Kirshner had said. Jenkins wasn't being straight.
"Such as?"
"He just hit him and pushed him around a couple times, that was all?" Tell me what really happened you mother fucker. I put my hands beside me and sat up straight.
"Do you know of anything else that happened between them?" His face was straight. This guy didn't give away a thing.
Time to fucking stop the nonsense. I licked my lips and looked right into his eyes. "Was Ron raping him?"
Detective Jenkins took a step back. His eyes grew wide. For the first time since I started asking questions, I had gotten some emotion out of him.
"How... how do you know that?" He'd been caught off guard.
"You answer my question first."
He wiped his brow with his fingers. The wheels in his head were spinning.
"I've answered all I can answer right now." Jenkins had regained his composure. He was back to that stone face.
"What did he say?" Fuck! I wanted to know everything that fucking animal had done to my beloved Chris.
"My turn to ask the questions."
"But..."
Jenkins was shaking his head. "I answered your question. You answer mine and perhaps I can tell you more afterward." His voice had hardened again and was back to that serious monotone he'd used earlier.
I sighed and leaned back. He had told me what I wanted to know, though I still needed more. "Ok."
"Now, how did you know?" He pulled out a small note pad and a pencil and sat down in the chair.
"Kirshner."
Jenkins cocked his head a looked at me.
"Recob told him some things."
I told Detective Jenkins everything that I knew about the fights, Recob, Boselli, Larkin, and Kirshner. I made certain that he knew Kirshner had helped me out and hadn't participated in the fight.
"Ok, Mike. Just a couple more things."
Good, I was getting tired of this. We'd been talking for over an hour.
"This may sound strange, but I need to know." His voice had softened fro that cold, deadpan voice he'd been using to question me.
I gave him a questioning look.
"You and Chris were lovers, correct?"
"He was my boyfriend." What the Hell did that have to do with anything?
"That's not what I asked."
I looked over towards Dr. Barnes. He just nodded indicating that I should answer.
"Yeah." It came out almost as a whisper though I hadn't intended it to be that way.
"I wouldn't ask if this wasn't important. But what kind of sex acts did you two perform for each other?"
"Huh?" My mouth dropped open and I looked up at him in horror. What the fuck...?
"I'll explain after you've answered the question."
I swallowed hard and wiped my eyes. I looked down at the floor. He'd better have a damn good reason for asking.
"We, uh... sucked each other sometimes." I could feel my face getting red. I couldn't look up.
"Anything else?" Same old monotone.
"Uh, we, um played with each other." This was fucking embarrassing.
"And..."
"Well, we kissed, um with tongues and stuff." I looked up.
"Nothing else?"
"I shook my head."
"You didn't lick him from head to toe, including his anus?"
The wind went out of me and I buried my head in my hands. "Jesus Christ. What fucking business is this of yours?" Fucking Chris. The little shit had put everything on paper.
"If you'll answer, I'll explain in a few moments." His voice had softened again.
"Yeah."
"Did you and he ever do any other kind of sexual act?"
I shook my head no.
"Nothing else?"
"I said no." I was beginning to become irritated. Why the fuck wouldn't he believe me?
"You never had anal sex?"
"No!" I damn near shouted it at him.
"You never placed anything inside his anal opening?"
I just glared at him until he started to speak. "No!"
"Do you know if he had ever had sex with anyone else, before you or after you broke up?"
"He... he said he was a virgin." I paused for a moment. "He and Joey, they used to jack off together, but that was it."
"One last question. Did he ever say anything to you about placing anything inside his rectum?"
Jesus, this guy seemed more concerned about Joey's asshole than I was. And I was his fucking boyfriend.
"We talked about that once. He thought it would hurt too much. He wanted me to do it, though. He thought it would be ok if I did it. But I wasn't ready for that. I wanted to wait until I was ready for him to do it to me too."
"So he told you he had never put anything inside?"
"That's what he said." I just looked at him for a second. "Now what the fuck is this all about?"
"Alright. I guess I owe you an explanation. In his journal, Chris wrote about being sodomized by Recob. The coroner found some tearing of his anal tissue that would be consistent with being raped. But said that it could be consistent with having anal sex or masturbating by placing and object inside. I needed to be certain that he'd never done that."
I looked at him with disbelief.
"This is why I couldn't let you read his journal. I couldn't have you making up answers to fit his journal entries. What you've told me pretty much matches what he wrote."
"So why did you have to ask me?"
"We can arrest Recob for the assaults on yourself and your friend. But he'd likely get off with probation and be right back on the street. He's eighteen now and with no criminal record. To put him away, we have to charge him with rape. Chris' journal isn't enough by itself. We need to corroborate it. The autopsy report and what you and Joey have told me along with what I'm sure Mr. Kirshner will say, should be enough."
"So, can I read the journal now?"
"Not yet, Mike. There's still a few things that I can't allow anyone to know just yet."
What the fuck do you mean 'a few things you can't allow anyone to know?' What the fuck more can there be?
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