Three Tears
Chapter 11
by David Heulfryn
The moment Martin entered the 'Lord Duncan' pub, he saw Phil waiting in a corner with a half drunk pint. After the previous date, when he had turned up late, he wanted to make sure it didn't happen again, and so in his haste, he arrived half an hour before they had planned to meet.
Phil stood up, as Martin approached, and went to place a kiss on Martin's lips, who recoiled for an instant but then accepted the lover's greeting.
The pub was quite busy with young people milling round the bar. Martin watched as they seemed to greet everyone who walked in and wondered if there was anybody in the place they didn't know. Sitting at the tables, groups and couples huddled together. The couples would play footsie under the table or lean into each other to kiss. Phil and Martin seemed to be one such couple, they sat closely together and Phil would often place an arm around Martin's shoulder, bringing him closer for a casual hug.
Unfortunately, the most shielded table was taken by another couple who never seemed to part from their intense kissing. This meant that Phil and Martin were easily seen by everyone in the bar.
"Hi, Phil. Don't usually see you in during the week." A table dark haired youth of about nineteen broke away from his group to speak to Phil.
"No, well I'm usually busy working. But I've managed to swap some shifts."
"And with good reason, I see. Who's the gorgeous new boy?" He looked at Martin.
Martin blushed at the description and turned to Phil anticipating an introduction.
"Ed, this is Martin. Martin, this is Ed."
Ed casually extended his arm to shake hands.
"I usually hang round with Ed at weekends and go to the clubs."
"Yes," Ed pouted, "but he's not been out for the last couple of weeks. And we can now blame you for that." He smiled at Martin.
Ed pulled up a chair and sat down, not seeing the look exchanged between Martin and Phil. Ed was the type of person who could talk for hours without letting the people he was talking to say anything. He always seemed to have so much to say, telling stories about past nights out of the successful, or unsuccessful, moves he'd put on some cute guy.
This time he was explaining what went off last weekend, when Phil couldn't make it and the cute guy he'd taken home with him. Martin was listening open mouthed as he recounted the sexual antics they got up to and the unashamed way he would tell anybody; and the casual manner he treated sex and the people he did it with.
"So, I took this gorgeous guy home, can't remember his name now but I don't suppose it matters, blonde and everything, really cute smile. I mean anyone would think he was drop dead gorgeous with his clothes on but with his clothes off he was even more gorgeous with a really huge and thick dick. I tell you I could have just looked at him forever. Anyway, looking at his huge dick got me really horny and then we went at it on the bed. My hands were all over him, but I suppose I should point out here we were both pretty drunk, and no matter what I tried he couldn't get it more than half up. Wanking, tossing, sucking, nothing. He didn't seem too bothered and just carried on pawing me, in the end I just gave up on him, rolled him over and just fucked him. Pity though as I really wanted to feel him up me. Now, if I saw him again I wouldn't hold it against him as we were pretty drunk. But next time I'd make damn sure we left early before he got too rat-arsed."
"Well I'm glad I wasn't there to witness it." Phil finally got a word in.
"Perhaps this Saturday, surely you can't be busy with your new plaything all evening." He winked at Martin, alluding to the sex they weren't having.
"Sorry, can't. But I'm sure I'll see you around and you can tell me all the sordid details, as usual."
"Yes, well. I hope you both enjoy yourselves and I'd better leave you two lovers alone. Have fun. And don't do anything I wouldn't do." He winked at Martin, got up and went to the bar shouted across at his mate, "Oi, Mike. Your round int'it. Go on you fucking cheapskate."
Martin was silent for a moment. "Well, he seemed nice." He said to Phil and they both started laughing.
"Is that what its really like when you go out with him?" Martin asked.
"No. Well, yes for him, but not for me. I just have a good time. I've never got off with anybody but would always see him attached to a new boy each week and disappear. I'm not into all that like him."
"So why do you go out together?"
"Don't know really. I suppose he's good fun and a laugh. He also helped me out when I first started to go to these bars, sort of took me under his wing and was a friendly face I could meet. He may be OTT but he really helped me come to terms with myself and was someone I could talk to about how I was feeling. Back then he sort of had a softer side and you would rarely see the Ed you just saw today. But as time went on and I became more confident, he turned into the loveable and caring person just saw today."
Martin smiled.
"It's all an act with him, you see. This grand diva just started to emerge. But I do still see his other side occasionally. He started to cover it up when he lost his boyfriend. Well, he was unceremoniously dumped by him and he took it bad. I don't think he'll be ready to get involved with someone again for some time."
As Phil talked about his friend, Ed was no longer the arrogant and brash sex whore Martin first imagined him to be and now saw him as someone just lashing out after being hurt. Looking over at the bar, Martin saw him talk and gesticulate vociferously to his mates; he now looked at his face and saw a beauty that was not previously present.
"Where you and him ever involved?"
"Good god, no. Even when he's on his best behaviour he's a bit much for me. We were, are, only friends. He's a riot when we go clubbing at weekends, you could come along."
Martin hesitated. "I'm not sure."
"Well, if you ever want to... Do you want another drink?" Phil noticed their pints were nearly finished and, when Martin said yes, went to the bar.
"So what is this job of your where you have to change shifts so we can meet up?" Martin asked as Phil sat back down, placing the full glasses on the table.
"Oh it's not much. Just a supermarket job. I work the tills for some cash. I'm saving most of it up for university."
"So, you taking a year out?" At nineteen, Phil would normally have started University.
"No, I'm still at college. It's my final year of A-levels." Phil noticed the confused look from Martin. "I bollocked up my GCSEs so I had to retake some at college. Then I started my A-levels a year late."
"Oh, what happened?"
"Well let's say I'm not proud of it, but I sort of just went off the rails completely. No-one understood what I was going through and I couldn't tell anybody so I just lashed out at everyone and everything. Bunking off school and failing half of my exams. It was my brother who really sorted me out. At first I would really yell and swear at him, then I started to hit him but he stayed by me until I finally broke down and told him what I was going through. Looking back I was a right bastard. I suppose you can say I'm only here with you because of my brother, your teacher. You should thank him next time you see him."
Phil put his arm round Martin and hugged him tightly, gripping one of the few good things that had come into his life. Martin though he heard a faint sniff from Phil, the pain of his youth coming back to him.
"So, anyway." He released Martin from his hug. "John got me back on track, got me started in college and even managed to help me get work again as a model."
"Really. Have I mentioned James, my brother models. What sort of things did you do?"
"All sorts really. Mainly catalogues but by then I was getting a little too old. But when I was much younger you couldn't open one without me popping up in the kids pages. But now the catalogue stuff has dried up and they are using proper male models, I generally just do the occasional life modelling for art classes and the odd bit of acting. I tried getting on an agency's books to do it properly, but I wasn't right for it, not the right look they said. Funny isn't it, as a kid I was in demand but by the time I was seventeen I was on the scrapheap."
When asked about his acting, he mentioned it was mostly corporate stuff. He would be hired to play the part of an employee and they would role play different scenarios such as customer service or health and safety. At least he'd managed to save up quite a bit for University so he wouldn't have to take out huge loans or get a job for the hours he wasn't in lectures.
"I've got a scrapbook back home, when you come round on Saturday I'll show you if you want." Phil offered.
"Can't wait."
"I've got a few of the corporate videos I did as well. Watching them now, they are really funny especially when you'll see that I can't act. Lord knows why they picked me."
Martin took a long draw on his pint to fill the silence where he should have said something. He enjoyed listening to Phil talk and wished he had led a more interesting life so that he would have some tales to tell. But he considered himself boring and had done nothing worthy of recounting in a pub. What little he had to tell Phil about himself had already been said when they first met. His confidence deteriorating, Martin hunched his shoulders.
"James is going to a desert island for four weeks." Martin unwittingly raised his voice slightly. His brother always led a more interesting life than him, so he thought he'd tell Phil about him.
After Martin had finished prattling on about his brother and the television programme he was making, he sat silent again, waiting for Phil to speak. When he didn't, Martin mustered the courage to tell him what he wanted to do.
"Phil, I want to kiss you again."
In full view of the bar, and Ed's constant glances in their direction to see what they were up to, Martin kissed Phil.
It was not the quick peck that Phil had expected, but a passionate, lingering kiss and hard embrace where Martin gripped and hugged him closer. His tongue explored Phil's lips and mouth, causing him to groan as Martin felt the ridges of Phil's spine as his hand caressed his back. Before breaking off, Martin boldly brought his hand around Phil's hips and rubbed his crotch. He was hard. Martin cupped his bulge and gently squeezed, Phil stifling his groans.
As Martin finally released Phil, he looked into his eyes. "I've been wanting to do that for days." He said as the sound of Ed whooping at them from across the bar hit their ears.
Martin suddenly felt liberated and wanted to jump and shout. But more than that, he wanted more of Phil and imagined what he wanted to do with him if they were alone.
"Bloody hell." Phil gasped and glancing over at Ed who quickly quietened down.
That moment saw Martin change, becoming more tactile and open about his feelings. He had seized the moment with Phil and was determined not to regress back to his old timid self. And as they walked out of the pub, Martin walked tall, his face beaming and not caring whether anyone was looking at him or not.
The night was still early, so they walked around the time for a while. They wanted to be alone, to explore each other but had to make do with furtive kisses and walking hand in hand when they were certain they were alone. Phil began to feel a chill from the cool night air and let go of Martin's hand to zip up his jacket.
Their meandering ended at the bus terminal. Sitting on a bench, Phil ensured Martin had his address and went over the directions of how to get there twice, just to make sure he didn't get lost. If he'd had an A-Z then he would have brought it out, but Martin was confident he could find it. Besides if he got lost then he still had his mobile number.
Taking Martin over to the side where they were concealed, Phil kissed Martin and let his tongue explore once again. His hands squeezed Martin's backside and pushed their hips together so he could feel Martin's hard bulge, and no doubt Martin could feel Phil's. Nothing more was said about Saturday but Martin felt it held the promise that they would finally be alone together.
Releasing him, Phil said. "You go catch your bus, I'll see you in three days."
Silently creeping into his home, he saw the flicker of the television in the front room. Poking his head round the door he said goodnight to his father who was still up and tip toed up the stairs.
James was fast asleep in his bed, curled up tight and lightly snoring. Standing over him, he looked down and his smooth and contented face, his hair ruffled on the pillow and the duvet only just perceptively raising and falling with each breath.
Wanting to kiss him and tell him how much he loved him, he just mouthed the words in case the noise woke him. His new feeling of liberation and the effects the drink, meant he wanted to tell his entire family how much he loved them and considered going to see Tony. But he suddenly felt exhausted and stumbled over to his bed.
After undressing and throwing his clothes on the floor, he went to bathroom, one final time this evening to empty his bladder.
James' Diary
Martin says he's nearly finished my picture. He also mentioned something about Tony wanting to see it. I wasn't too fussed so I agreed that he could see it when he shows me. I must say I'm looking forward to it. I'm also very interested to see what mum and dad think and I will enjoy seeing the look on their faces.
Martin seems to be coming out of shell a little bit more. I don't know what's happened, or more to the point who's happened to him, but he seems really happy. It's strange to notice, but he's smiling a lot more and is more talkative. He's even been known to crack the odd joke or two these days. Tonight he's gone out again. This is slowly turning into a habit for him; I just hope she's worth it. I won't bother to wait up for him this time it might look like I'm being nosey, besides he won't tell me anything anyway and I'll just get some cryptic statement like he'll tell me soon. When it's all bloody over and he's in a mess, that's when he'll tell me. Then everything will be back to normal, him looking serious all the time and never cracking a smile.
School's really boring at the moment, now our exams are over there really isn't much point in going. But mum says I have to.
Tom rang me up yesterday and I asked him over this weekend. Thought we could just hang out on Saturday; so he's coming over to my place. I know we've only known each other a few weeks, but I really like him and not just in a friend way. It's got nothing to do with him dropping his trousers at the drop of a hat. He's fun, makes me laugh and there is something about his cute smile that sends a tingle down my spine. I've had crushes before but never done anything about them but I keep thinking that if I'm ever going to find a boyfriend I'd better start acting on them. I'm not sure about Tom though, part of me wants him to know but another part of me is afraid. If I tell him before we leave and he takes it badly or doesn't feel the same way then I could end up being branded the only queer on the island and my time there would be hell (might make some good telly though). I just don't know. Sometimes I get the impression he feels the same way about me but then I figure it could just be him and his overly friendly manner. Perhaps I should just put it to the back of my mind, like my crush last year on the new boy at school, Rob.
I am beginning to feel a little nervous about going away now. Four weeks is a long time and I'm going to miss everyone, especially now that Martin has loosened up. And no doubt they'll miss me, but they'll have a nice nude painting of me so they don't forget me. I know I'll be alright and I'll have Tom with me; plus there were a couple others I seemed to get on with when we met a few weeks ago.
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