As They Say
by D K Daniels
Entry Eight: A Waiting Game
15th May 1991
Right, so today I have accomplished nothing new at all. After all, a huge bloody cloud opened up over town and it was raining for most of the day. I haven't really done much other than lounging around the house today. I knocked next door for Ross and his grandmother said that he wasn't feeling very well. I decided to just leave it at that and not question it and I came back to my house. I didn't really think much of it at first but I hope he is not to sick. I hope he's okay and that he can come out to play- no not play, hangout tomorrow. Instead, I helped my dad with those shelves in the shed of all things. It was dangerous looking at him holding a power tool. The way he was being sloppy like reminded me of the way Clark Griswald in the National Lampoons movies did housework. I wouldn't trust my dad too much to build a house or fix the more hardcore problems but whatever he manages to put up somehow stays up but it's never level. Take the new addition of shelves to the shed as an example. Are they level - nope. But as he says they'll serve their purpose and mam does not seem to care all that much because I think she has gotten to a point that she knows dad is a cowboy builder. Other than that, what did I do- hmm let me see. Nothing… well, I did set some time away for my holiday to palm city- in bed when I woke up but other than that- yadda. I have never been so bored in all my life, I have practically done nothing- I wonder what Eli or Carl got up to today. Even the thought of anything remotely entertaining is funny at this point. Even the thought of Carl feeding pigs is somehow humorous to me; even though it's never been funny before because I can assume he has done it at one point in time, so I don't think it should be overly funny but it seems to be right now.
Anyway, I'm going to turn in and get some sleep before I fall asleep at the desk from boredom rather than sleepiness.
Night - So Board… So, Board… So, Board… So, Board… a So Board…Adam
16th May 1993
Right, I officially hate Ireland. Rain again for the second day consecutively. It's supposed to be fricking summer. I guess I should know better than to get angry at the weather in my own country, but hey at least it was an improvement over yesterday. I didn't have to completely die on my own today. Because Ross knocked over when one of the showers eased and just like that I invited him in. When mam shouted in from the kitchen asking who it was, I said "it's Ross," to which the scuffle of the chair from the kitchen table took place and she made her way out to the hallway. I think I have a sneaky feeling that mam has a soft spot for Ross. Maybe she knows something that I don't know because she said, "come on in hunny, your welcome anytime." To which Ross turned a bright pink. It was kinda cute though his hair was a little ruffled and a tiny bit blown out of proportion because of the rain and wind blowing up over the fields from the south. But the main thing is he became embarrassed which was totally cute. I asked him if he was okay yesterday. To which he said, "Yeah I just ate something that made me feel horrible." 'Ah was my thought.' The cutie was feeling sick- with an upset tummy or something of the sort. But nonetheless it was great to see him back on his feet and the first place he came a knocking was to my door. Maybe I truly have made an impression on him, I'm not sure what the impression is but I'm happy that he is here without having to really say anything. I was a little annoyed at the rain of course but that meant that it was inevitable for us to be indoors and in close quarters, and close quarters we were.
After my mam gave Ross the free pass, the two of us left her and headed up to my bedroom and the two of us just sat around talking for a little bit. At first, it did feel awkward because we were in my bedroom and we didn't know what to do and I wasn't sure what to start a conversation about but as Ross always does he somehow manages to move the day along by doing hardly anything for me.
Urgh… he so adorable… I think I'm falling in love, but I need to be careful because earlier today he caught me staring at him as he sat crossed legged on the bedroom floor. If I must say I don't think I was expecting him to look up from the floor while he was talking about how home is like in London. But when he did lift his head, the two of us caught eyes and it was I don't know- it lasted a little longer than what I suppose it should have. Right so with that out of the way, he just kept looking at me and the life of the conversation just stopped all of a sudden. He kept looking into my eyes and it started to grow uncomfortable for me after a couple of seconds it was like he was looking through my very soul and then if to make things worse he cracked a smile and went all goofy again, and just on cue my heart sank and I felt myself falling for him even more. God, I really need to get my emotions in check. But yeah that's it, nothing else really happened. He talked with me up until he had to go home. I have to say the way he speaks is cute in every little way. The way he uses his hands to gesture what's on in his mind or what's happening as he explaining amplifies the cuteness factor.
Anyway, I'm off to bed, night Ross… Night - Adam.
17th May 1993
Thank god I got to see a blue sky today. Yeah, it was a little chilly but at least we all got to go out for the most part. I knocked in for Ross and asked if he wanted to come out with me and the lads and do you want to know the best part about it. He said "yes." I still haven't asked Ross about the sleepover but I did manage to talk to Carl about the sleepover and I asked him, actually kind of dropped the bomb on him about bringing Ross. I'm glad that he didn't really care, he said "if you want to bring him… bring him." Which is good to hear. On top of that because the sun didn't exactly come out and it was overcast with patches of blue sky all day. So, we decided to head over to Eli's house because has the Super NES console and all of us went over there to play a couple of games for a little bit and it was kinda cool.
We all challenged each other to see who could get the highest score in Star Fox. For the most part, I was kinda fun, Eli usually wins all the games but he took it on a mission to compete with Ross because the two of them were really close in score relations. They played another two rounds of the game and eventually, Ross won the game and I must say Eli' took the defeat coolly. He gave Ross a handshake and said, "good game." He even smiled, I know that if I was an outsider and it was my first time playing against him he would have probably walked out of the room in a huff, but no- not on Ross. Of course, I have known Eli for a long time now so I can only assume that he would treat a defeat the same with me as he did with Ross. Everyone was in attendance today. Me, Ross, Eli, Carl, even the nerdy kid and Eli's sister. Who kept touching my shoulder and cheek which if I have to say became annoying after first two or three times in a row. She'd say, "oh Adam you're really good at getting the high scores," to which one of the lads would tease me lightly, "high score is right." I think the embarrassment of the moment wore off because she was annoying and I wasn't interested. Maybe she was but I didn't really care; It was getting to appoint that I'd call her clingy. And secondly, she clearly had no clue about the game, I was like the third highest from the top concerning the score. I didn't even come close to Ross's or Eli's head to head numbers.
Girls can be so dumb- they like you and then they hate you. They want to know you and then they don't want to know you. They are so aggravating; sometimes I just wish I could understand them properly because I feel like I'm doing something wrong here when I'm interacting with them. When I play it cool and try and be friendly they get all mad because I'm not like asking them out or something. Is that how it is? You are pressured into asking a girl out because she sticks to you like a frickin leach or studies your every move like you were an animal on the discovery channel. Jeez, it's annoying I swear I can't get a break from girls, they are so overrated- much more than boys. I think I'll stick with boys- boys are messier, rougher-when it comes to settling scuffs. We don't go around trying to pry ourselves into other people's business when they're clearly not interested.
Anyway, I'm going to head off to bed before any of the gay in me runs for the hills if I think about girls once more.
Plus, Eli's sister really needs to learn about how boys game because she knows nothing about how the rules of gaming affect the temperament of boys in the room.
Night- A frustrated Adam.
17th May 1993
Well if I were in school today I would be really sad but let's scratch that thought because I ain't. On the other news- Ross came over this evening and I asked him about sleeping over and he just kinda gave me a shrugged off impression. As if I had done something wrong and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I have done wrong. Now it feels like I have done something wrong- and I don't know what I did. Sigh… am I going crazy? I somehow feel a little sad about the whole turn of events. I'm not sad about the fact that he didn't want to come to a sleepover. Okay well, he didn't say he didn't want to come or not- he said "I'll think about it," those were his words. What does that mean 'I'll think about it,' it sounds as if he is picking and choosing who he wants to hang out with, when he does not really have a say because they are my friends and without them or me, he won't be able to talk to people our age as easily. I think I have been more than nice, but the way he did it was like he wasn't sure if he wanted to or not. It was like he was a little disappointed for even bringing it up. Maybe he wants something else. Maybe he's too shy, deep down. I guess it could be good to wait until he is ready or maybe I'm moving at the speed of light compared to his pace. Maybe I'm pushing him in at the deep end and he can't swim that fast yet. Oh- it's not my intention, I just want to make him feel welcome. I don't want him to be uncomfortable. Maybe it's the guys, maybe he needs to get to know the boys a little more, or it could be that he just wants alone time with me.
Well, that sounds too good to be true. I never thought about having a sleepover with just me and him before. And that would be cool to do, with just me and Ross. I guess it is a lousy thing to ask, having a sleepover- especially when you're so far from home and you're in an unfamiliar environment. 'Yeah, that makes sense. I should ask him if he wants to have a sleepover in my house. So that he can't spread his wings little… I'll ask him tomorrow. If he says 'yes…' Which I hope. Then I'll ask if he wants to stay in my house tomorrow night. And then we can play cards again and I'll beat him for sure and then we can hold hands and do cute stuff together like talking about our favourite romantic scenes from movies or... or… even kissing, and confessing my feelings for him. That he is cute and adorable and lovely. 'Yeah, I wrote it… I think I like him… or love. I'm not sure what the difference is but there is something different about the feelings I've been getting about him. I love The Simpsons but this feeling is stronger than loving, it's like I'm happy or something all the time he is around and when he goes it's like I die a little on the inside until I see him again. I can't believe I wrote this but if my mam ever found this she would have me committed. I don't think these feelings are normal but how can I deny how cute he is. Everything he seems to do is cute, and what makes it all the more special is that he is so damn mysterious, it's sexy.
Oh, and speaking of sexy. I couldn't control myself earlier. I came back with some undue hormones and I started rubbing myself after I closed the bedroom door. Soon enough I had my hand down my tracksuit bottoms and then well I began tugging at myself. It felt hot and kinda naughty to be standing there with my back against my bedroom door, pulling at myself and then well, one thing led to another and the thought of Ross's underwear came into my mind. I tried shaking it but it was destroying the moment, so I caved and just took the boxers out. I clutched them in one hand and pulled my dick in the other. I guess I do feel a little guilty about it but hey I was in the moment and I swear it won't happen again. I promised myself that it wouldn't happen but something went wrong and I can't let it happen again.
Anyway, I better go to bed before I get given out to about staying up too late. It's like 1 am or something. Night - Adam.
The End of Entry 8
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