Johann and Daniel
by Charles Lacey
Chapter 16
Daniel.
No-one can imagine my emotions when I heard that my dear Johann was safely in Switzerland and ready to come home.
I've just seen that I used the words, come home. But the Red Lion had become our home, though we had just the one small room to ourselves. But where Johann is, that is my home. And in truth we had made good friends there, too; Ruth Freeman in particular but a couple of others including Sarah Greenbank who was the cook and housekeeper. I ought to write about her; she could produce marvellous meals even under the British rationing system. Johann and I used to go for walks and often brought back things to eat: blackberries in the summer, elderberries that made wine, field mushrooms all the year round. Sarah never failed to make good use of them. And we helped in the garden as well, and grew vegetables and kept chickens for eggs. And if rather more eggs were laid than were reported to the Ministry of Food, no-one else was counting!
It seemed from what Mr Ryder said that Johann was a hero. I could have told him that myself! But he had carried out his mission successfully, and in doing so had killed a senior Nazi in such a way that it looked like an accident. And indeed it was in a fair fight against an armed man; it was not murder or even an execution. So despite the Commandment, I was sure then, as I am sure now, that at the Day of Reckoning, it will not count against him. As for me, I was so glad to have him safely back that I would not have cared if he had killed half of the Nazis in Austria.
I have indicated before that Johann and I were, and still are, deeply in love. It was after he returned from his mission to Austria that we found a new way of making love, as the English put it. We had used our hands and our mouths, and one of Johann's favourite things to do was to press his legs together, my schwanz between them and his pressing against my belly. But now he had a new idea, which I think our friend Christopher had told him about. He lay face down, with his middle resting on a pillow so as to raise it a little, and his legs apart. He asked me to anoint my schwanz with a little oil from the kitchen, and press it into his hintergang .
I was surprised, that it went in quite easily, after a little resistance. I was worried that I might have caused him pain; he said afterwards that it was only a very slight discomfort but that it soon became very pleasurable.
It is one of the odd quirks of couples like us, that when they do this it is often the more masculine of the pair who prefers to be penetrated. At any rate, I became more and more excited, and I fear in my passion I bit the side of Johann's neck quite hard. He had to wear a scarf for the next few days in case anyone wondered what had happened to him! But we climaxed together, and I later learned that there is a small thing inside the male body which can be stimulated in this way and which can cause orgasmus to occur without any other action being needed. At any rate, after that, and after many other such times, we slept a sweet and dreamless sleep, twined close together.
But the war was turning slowly but definitely in the Allies' favour, and we were beginning to wonder what we might do when it ended. It would have been difficult to remain in England; anyone with a German or German-sounding accent was treated with suspicion and even hostility. We had decided that we would return to Linz as soon as it was safe to do so and try to find our parents. And eventually we wanted to live somewhere that would welcome us as a couple. Denmark was the obvious choice; failing that perhaps South America. But neither of us had any money, so we would need to work. I greatly desired to attend a University, if it were possible. Our good friend Ruth Freeman said to us several times that if we had nowhere else to go, we were to come to her. She was a dear, kind friend and we did indeed visit her regularly; always for a week or two in the summer and occasionally at other times as well. She had never married, though I think secretly she was in love with Bill Ryder. Perhaps we became, in a way, the sons she would like to have had.
1944 came, and the Allies landed in France. Bill Ryder gave us to understand that one of the factors in the planning of that operation was the papers that Johann had copied in Linz. The Nazis were now definitely in retreat. That Christmas we had a little celebration at the Red Lion.
And the next year, on the seventh of May, came Victory in Europe day. It was the only time I had ever seen Bill Ryder the worse for drink. Normally he was a very quiet, self-contained Englishman, but on that day he opened a bottle of brandy that he said he had kept for when we won the war (I've just noticed that I wrote we won – for in our hearts we were with the Allies) and while he wasn't really drunk he was certainly not sober.
Later that month the Red Lion started to be dismantled. We left our dear little bedroom, not without shedding some tears as it was there that we first really became aware of our love for each other, and went to Ruth's house for the time being. We sat with her one evening and discussed very seriously what we could do. I wrote to several universities; I was keen to study Law. Johann was less sure what he wanted to do, perhaps something in business. Though he said, if nothing else was available he could always be a landscape gardener!
But first, we went to Linz. It was a long, dirty, uncomfortable journey. I went to the Synagogue, which was in a dreadful state, and no-one was there. We went next to the apartment where we had lived before the war. It was occupied by someone I didn't know, but she told me that she had been there since 1942. I eventually discovered that both of my parents, as well as their dear friends the Meyers, had been sent to a concentration camp in Poland, where they all died. As you can imagine, I wept bitterly for their fate. What I didn't know then was that my little sister Leah had gone to England on the kindertransport and was still there, quite safe.
We then went to the apartment where Johann's parents lived. Johann knocked on the door and rang the bell. A thin, middle aged woman opened it. "Traudl!" Johann cried, and threw his arms around her. She was their old housekeeper, who had stayed with them all through the war.
"Master Johann!" she replied, shedding tears, "I always knew you would come home in the end. Or I should say, Herr Johann, as you must be quite grown up by now. Where in the world have you been? Your mother and father have been so anxious about you."
"I did write to them when I could," said Johann. I hope they got my letter. But I was in England, with my dear friend Daniel – this is he – working for the Allies."
So I got a handshake and a smile from Traudl. She was one of those people who remind me of the line from the Christian Scriptures; "Well done, good and faithful servant." I later discovered that she had been a servant in the Stresemann household since she was only fourteen, but that they had always treated her with great kindness which she repaid with unstinting loyalty. She had the warmest possible relationship with Frau Stresemann in particular.
Herr Stresemann was at the Bank, working, but Frau Stresemann was visiting her sister, and was expected home soon. We decided that we would wait in the kitchen with Traudl until they were both home, and then go through to meet them. I was very nervous, as you can imagine, but she gave us real Austrian coffee – it was a great treat to taste proper coffee again, with its little glass of mineral water to go with it - and one of her Wiener pastries each while we waited.
Well, they came home, and were in their sitting room waiting for Traudl to announce dinner. She went through and we heard her say, "Excuse me, Sir and Madam, but you have two very special visitors who are waiting in the kitchen."
Johann could wait no longer but rushed through. "Mamma!" he cried, "Papa! Did you get my letter? I said I would be home safely when the war was ended." But his words were muffled because they were spoken into his mother's shoulder.
Then he brought me forward, and said, "This is my dearest friend, Daniel Kohn. We have been together in England for the last five years."
"In England?" said Herr Stresemann with raised eyebrows, evidently quite astonished. "Whatever were you doing in England?"
"We were working for the British Government. We truly are not allowed so say any more than that."
Herr Stresemann looked at Johann, then at me, but said nothing.
Then Johann looked at his Papa, and said, very seriously, "Did you hear anything about Herr Meyer? Or about their friends the Kohns?"
"I am so sorry," replied Herr Stresemann gently. "We have heard nothing. We greatly fear that they... well, that they were taken to a camp where they did not survive."
Frau Stresemann looked at me, then at Johann, and then at me again. Then she held out her arms to me and said, "Daniel, we are more sorry than I can say. So many people perished at the hands of those Nazi devils, and there are a million sorrowing hearts here in Linz and everywhere in Austria. But Johann says you are his dear friend, and so you are welcome in our home, now and always." I am not ashamed to admit that I broke down at that, and wept on Frau Stresemann's shoulder, while Johann held my hand.
We stayed there for a month. It felt strange that I slept in Johann's room, but on a small folding bed. We did not have much opportunity for love-making as the walls were thin and any sound would have gone through, but each night before going to bed we lay together on Johann's bed and just held each other. We never did find out whether Papa Stresemann knew what kind of relationship we had, but I am quite sure that Johann's mother was well aware of it. She was a very kind lady as well as a very shrewd one and did indeed become like a second mother to me.
But we did take the opportunity to visit the Federleins, who had been so kind to us when we were hiding from the Nazis. We rang the bell at their front door, which was opened by a smartly-uniformed maid. Clearly Herr Federlein's business had done well! She took us through to the sitting room, and Frau Federlein came in, with Gottfried and a very pretty young woman. Gottfried took a moment or two to recognize us – after all, it had been several years and we had grown a good deal! – but then he said, "I prayed for you, after you left our house. I am so glad to see you and know that you are well. This is Rosmarin, my fiancée." We talked for a long time, telling them about our adventures. We still keep in touch.
At the end of that month we returned to England, and stayed with Ruth Freeman. Our salary from the British government had come to an end and we were at a loss as to what to do. In the event we returned to Linz. Johann, I think through a friend of his father's, found work gardening for the municipal authority, and I gave English lessons for a few pupils and also for two days a week at a school. We didn't earn a lot of money, but it was enough for a small flat that we could share, and enabled us to eat and to put a little money aside each month.
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