Finding Nico

by c m

Chapter 4

We arrive back at the hotel breathless and almost together. We run up the stairs to my room. I open the door and then Josh is grabbing me and kissing me.

'Yeeurgh…you're all sweaty and horrible.'

He lets go of me.

'You say the sweetest things.'

'Where's the shower?'

'Through there.'

We both strip. It only takes a few seconds, but by the time we make it into the bathroom we're both sporting full-on erections. We stop and look at each other.

'Loved the look of it floppy,' says Josh, 'but I adore the look of it hard.'

As for me…well…apart from Zak, this is the only other erection I've seen. With Zak I felt nothing other than mild curiosity, but with Josh….it takes my breath away. The sense of excitement I feel at the prospect of touching it, holding it, stroking it, leaves me trembling with anticipation.

'May I?' I ask.

He nods and I take hold of the hard-yet-soft flesh. The first erection other than my own that I've ever felt.

'It feels amazing, Josh.'

He takes hold of me. The sensation is electric.

'Wow…so beautiful Nico.'

'Come on…let's get clean.'

I lead him into the shower and turn the water on at full power. We stand there with the water coursing over our shoulders. I reluctantly let go of him. He goes to get a handful of shower gel from the pump, but I stop him.

'May I?'

He nods and I get a squirt of gel out of the pump and put it on his chest. I work it all over his top half. He has a dusting of hairs on his chest and a little treasure trail leading down to his groin. His pubes, like mine, are neatly trimmed and his balls, like mine, are shaved. I resist the temptation to take hold of his hardness again. For now.

'Turn around.'

He does, and I use another squirt of gel on his back. I run my soapy hand down between the cleft of his buttocks, then kneel down to wash his legs.

'Turn back around.'

He does, and his groin is now level with my face. I run my slippery hands all over his erection, and hear his sharp intake of breath. I ease back his foreskin and wash the rock-hard length of him. I can't help but start to stroke it. I hear him groan. Then I feel a hand on my head.

'Not yet, Nico,' he says, his voice little more than a hiss, 'I don't want to cum yet. Let me get you all clean too.'

And he does to me what I did to him. The feel of his soapy hands running over every last inch of my flesh is almost too much to bear. When he fondles my balls, I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to control myself. I tell him how I'm feeling.

'That's fine, Nico…just let what happens happen.'

When he touches my erection it's nearly enough to send me over the edge. I try to resist. The touch of his hand on the sensitive tip as he eases back the skin is almost too much. And when he starts to stroke me I can't control it any longer. I erupt with an intensity I have never experienced – my seed spurting all over his face as he kneels there in front of me, before disappearing in a swirl down the drain. I feel my knees almost buckle from the release. Then Josh is standing up facing me, a huge smile on his face.


'Unbelievable…but I wish I could have lasted a bit longer…what you were doing was…amazing.'

'You'll last longer next time.'

'I hope so.'

My turn.

I take hold of him and start to stroke. His breath gradually quickens.

'I'm going to blow, Nico.'

And seconds later he does. I feel him kick in my hand.

'Oh FUCK, Nico…'

Three big spurts and then a series of smaller ones. And then we're embracing under the stream of hot water. His tongue finds mine and we kiss.

After what seems ages, we part and I turn off the water. Pressed up against each other, we've both got hard again.

'Why don't we take care of these somewhere more comfortable?' he suggests.

Not bothering to get dry, we just grab a towel each and make our way to the bedroom. We lay the towels on the bed, and I lie down on my back, legs spreadeagled. He lies on top of me, his body still slippery wet, chest to chest, groin to groin. I cross my legs over the back of his, pinning him to me. The wet ringlets of his hair drip water onto my face. He brushes them away with a hand. We are both still breathing heavily. His touch and his presence are all I need right now. We just hold one another.

Eventually he pulls himself up on his elbows.

'Uncross your legs, Nico. There's something I want to do.'

I do as he asks and, freed to move, he slides down my body until his face is level with my achingly hard cock. I feel his breath on it. And then I feel his tongue on it. And then I feel his mouth close around it.

I've read about this. I've dreamed about this. But now it's happening. For real. It is simply sensational.

'Oh my God, Josh….'

He releases me for a moment.

'Shhh; don't talk, just enjoy.'

He goes back to work. I can feel his tongue, his lips, his teeth. Then his hand joins in, massaging my balls. I'm in heaven. And I can feel myself building to another climax.

'Josh…I'm getting close again. And I want to try this with you before I get there. Please?'

He releases me from his mouth.'

'Whatever you say, sexy.'

We change places. I haven't done this before, but taking him in my mouth seems so natural, licking round the velvety tip so obvious, running my lips down the length of it so automatic, and the sensation of it so mind-blowingly wonderful that it all just seems to happen.

'Oh my god, Nico. You sure you haven't done this before?'

I shake my head – unwilling to exchange the wonderful, rigid column of flesh in my mouth for something as banal as speaking.

'Nico…I'm getting close…why don't we finish each other off together?'

Now that sounds pretty good to me, so, albeit slightly reluctantly, I slide my lips off him.

'Lie on your side facing me,' he says.

I do, and he flips himself round so that we are head to toe. I slurp him back into my mouth and he does the same to me. Our need for each other is still urgent, and all too soon I feel my climax starting to bubble up.

I suppose I'd assumed we'd pull off each other before we came, but Josh just keeps going, and when I explode he swallows every last drop of what flows out of me.

'God you taste yummy,' he says, 'but don't feel you have to take my stuff in your mouth if you'd rather not. But…choose quickly…because…it's going to happen any moment.'

I feel his balls tighten up and it's decision time. Heck, if he can swallow my stuff, I'm sure I can swallow his. I keep going.

I'm rewarded with another new sensation – that of him bucking and pulsing in my mouth before he floods it with the salty-sweet taste of his seed. Not only is it not unpleasant, I find I'm actively enjoying the taste of him. I squeeze the last drops out of him with my lips. His breathing slowly returns to normal.

He scoots around and comes and lays his face down opposite mine.

'That was bloody amazing,' he says.

'That's an understatement,' I say, 'God I could just stay here and do this all day with you. In fact, that's exactly what I want to do.'

'Me too…but maybe we should leave something in the tank for tonight…?'

I sigh.

'Yes…you're right…but...well…it's just that I feel like a kid who's been let loose in a sweet shop for the first time, and I just want to gorge myself.'

He puts an arm over my shoulder. 'I know…but we know what happens to boys who gorge themselves on sweets….'

'Yeah…but I don't think I'm going to get sick of you…ever.'

'Or me of you.'

He kisses me and then pulls me on top of him.

'I know that was the first time for you. And while I'm not exactly super-experienced, I have to tell you it has never, ever been that good for me before. I don't know what you're doing to me Nico, but please just keep doing it.'

'Twenty-four hours ago, I wouldn't have believed I could possibly be doing this - and certainly not with someone as perfect as you.'

He kisses me and we enjoy just lying there, flesh to flesh. Eventually he says,

'I love lying here with you, but do you think maybe we should go and find Alex and Jules?'

'I suppose so…but could we just lie here a bit longer first? I don't want to let go of you yet.'


I kiss him, and he pulls me to him even more tightly. Our bodies are now dry from the shower and I can feel the heat between us. And the fact that we are both getting hard again.

'Sorry,' I say, 'I can't help what's happening down there.'

He giggles.

'Me either. Guess we must find each arousing or something.'

'Guess so.'

He rolls off me and props himself up on one arm.

'I find you incredibly sexy, Nico, do you know that?'



He traces a line over my chest with one finger.

'I love it that you're so smooth.'

'I love the fact that you've got those hairs on your chest. And that little treasure trail.'

'Opposites attract, huh?'

'Guess so.'

His finger moves to my nipple and strokes it. It gets hard at his touch. He flattens out his hand and runs it over my stomach and back up over my chest.

'Your skin feels so nice.'

'What you're doing feels nice too.'

He lays his head on my chest.

'I can hear your heart beating.'

'It's probably beating a little faster than usual.'

'It is?'

'Mmhmm. Must be the effect of being with a gorgeous boy – and being introduced to the joys of sex for the first time.'

'Ah…I can see that that would do it.'

He resumes tracing a line over my body with one finger. It moves down to my groin.

'It's OK…I'm not going to touch…that bit…of you. But it's nice…or maybe just a coincidence…that we seem to be built pretty much the same way in that department. Maybe that's a sign we're meant to be together?'

I smile.

'I thought you said it was opposites that attract?'

'Ah. I didn't mention the exception, did I?'

'The exception?'

'Yes. It's a well-known fact that opposites attract EXCEPT in the case of penises. It's scientifically proven.'

'It is, huh?'

'Oh, yes. The fact that we're virtually the same size as each other, both when we're floppy and when we're hard, is very significant.'

'Significant, huh?'

'As is the fact that we both have neatly-trimmed pubes and shaved balls.'

'Science, you say?'

'Oh yes. Not to mention the fact that we're both growers rather than showers.'

'I see. Then I'm very reassured that science is confirming what my emotions are telling me.'

'Which is?'

'That we belong together.'

'That's extraordinary!'

'What is?'

'My emotions are telling me exactly the same.'

'Yeah. So to hell with science.'

And we both start laughing.

Ten minutes later, and slightly reluctantly, we both get dressed. We have a lingering hug before making our way down to the pool.

Sure enough, Alex and Jules are still there, lying beside one another on towels on the grass. They don't see us. Josh puts a finger to his lips and goes and gets a handful of water from the pool, before sneaking up on them and throwing it over Alex.

'What the….? Oh, I might have known it was you. Finally prised yourselves out of each other's arms, have you?'

'I have no idea what you're talking about,' says Josh.

'A likely story. Where did you get to anyway? You've been ages.'

'We walked into town to get a sandwich. I assume you got some lunch here?'

'Yeah, we ordered a bar snack – some little goujons of sole with tartare sauce – it was lovely, actually.'

'You have the same, sis?'


'Finished your book?'

'Not quite. Alex has been…entertaining me.'

'Ohh…tell me more…'

'He's been telling me ALLLL about Josh.'

Josh looks at Alex.

'Only the good bits, Josh, I promise….' he says.

Jules sniggers. 'Yeah, the REALLY good bits….'

'Like what?' I ask

'I'll tell you later. Maybe.'

'OK,' says Josh, 'just for the record, Nico, don't believe a word of anything she tells you. Alex has a very fertile imagination.'

'No imagination needed with you, mate…'

'You and I are going to have a little chat later…' says Josh to Alex.

Alex just smiles at him.

We all sit and chat for a while and then, to cool off from the sun, we go for a dip in the pool. There are several other families also enjoying the water, so there's not much scope for horsing around. I settle for doing a few lengths before climbing out. I realise that I'm feeling quite tired. I guess the swim in the sea, the walk into town in the heat and both the physical and emotional burn from having sex with Josh have all mounted up. And I want to feel fresh and revived for tonight.

'I'm just going to go and have a shower and get a book,' I tell the others.

'Hold on, Nico, I'll come with you,' says Jules.

We leave the other two in the pool and head back into the hotel. But instead of going to her room, Jules accompanies me all the way to mine.

'I thought you were going to take a shower?'

'Can I use your lovely bathroom?'

'I guess so…not sure there are any fresh towels though.'

'I can always use this one,' she says, indicating the one she took down to the pool.

At the door to my room, I turn to her.

'This isn't about using my bathroom, is it?'

'Ooh…you're sharp today.'

'So what is it?'

'I want to know all about what you and Josh were doing until you appeared at the pool; I don't believe for one minute that it took all that time just to get a sandwich and walk back.'

'God, it IS like being with MI5…come on then.'

As we enter the room, Jules notices the bed. Josh and I sort of pulled everything loosely back into place after we'd been on it, but it certainly doesn't look like it's just been made by the staff.

'Haven't the staff been in today?' Jules asks.

I know from experience there's no point in trying to fool her.

'Yes, they've been in.'

'Then why is the bed…oh my god…you didn't, did you? You and Josh? You haven't? Oh, my word…you HAVE, haven't you?'

'I've no idea what you're talking about,' I say.

'You and Josh have been doing the dirty with each other haven't you?' Was it good? Was HE good?'


'Don't 'Jules' me…Oh, Nico, I'm so happy for you.'

I have no choice but to surrender.

'OK, yes we have. We did. And yes it was good. Very good. Amazing in fact.'

'So you're no longer a virgin?'

'JULES! We didn't…do that. It was never even mentioned, actually.'

'So what did you do?'


'I'm only curious.'

'And how would you like it if I asked YOU for all the details of what you did the first time you go to bed with a boy?'

'I wouldn't mind.'

'Jeez…are you really my twin?'

'OK…maybe I would. Sorry. I'm just excited for you.'


'Are you going to do it again?'


'OK, sorry, sorry…but I bet you are. I KNEW something was up from the look on your face when you arrived at the pool. Is this a serious thing, Nico, or just a bit of holiday fun?'

'How do I know? I've never…been in this position before. I really, really like him, Jules. Not just because we've now got a physical relationship. That only happened because we like each other as well as fancying each other. I would love for this to be more than just a holiday fling. I think Josh feels the same. But who knows? He's in Bristol, we're in Oxford. But look, what I do know is that I'm going to enjoy every last minute of the time we have together for the rest of this week.'

'You going to tell Mum and Dad?'

'Haven't even thought about that. Maybe. I mean, I'm not ashamed of him, or what we've done. But if it IS just a holiday thing, would it help to tell them? Probably not. If we become…boyfriends or anything… then of course I'll tell them.'

'Is he going to share your bed instead of sleeping in his own room?'

'Ahh...maybe we are twins after all. We've already talked about that and yes, he is. At least he is tonight. You will keep that to yourself, though, won't you?'

'Of course. Does Alex know?'

'Yes, we had to tell him; don't want him raising the alarm because Josh hasn't turned up in his room.'

'Of course. Well, I wish you all the best brother of mine. He seems lovely – and you're pretty nice yourself – most of the time.'

'Thanks. Now…how are you and Alex getting on? Will I be having this sort of conversation with you shortly?'

'I doubt it. I like Alex a lot; he's fun and, it has to be said, pretty hot...'


'Do I want to lose my virginity in a holiday fling?'

'Got to lose it sometime. I think the question is whether he's the right boy, not whether it's a holiday thing.'

'Agreed. But I don't know him well enough to decide that yet…and a week isn't long to find out. And he hasn't tried to do anything more than give me a kiss anyway.'

'Sounds like a gentleman.'

'Maybe. We'll see. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but like we talked about, I need to have a bit more to go on than you do with Josh. And it's not just a 'how well do I know the real him underneath' thing. You two are made for each other. You can see it in the way you react to each other. It's rather lovely, actually. Although just a word…you don't hide it very well if that's what you want to do. Anyone can see that you two are dopey about each other. I give Mum and Dad about 24 hours before they work it out even if you don't tell them.'

'Dopey about each other?'


'Oh. Right.'

I think about it.

'I think I'm OK with that, actually.'

'Then good for you, bro.'

'So, what was Alex telling you about Josh?'

'Oh, nothing embarrassing – I only said that to wind him up. He was just saying what a nice guy Josh is, and how he just hasn't seemed to meet the right guy yet. You know, only had a few very short relationships, well barely that, that have fizzled out. He says Josh wants more than just mutual attraction…he wants someone who understands him, makes him laugh, someone fun to be with, someone who he can just…be himself with. And he said that Josh is already a different person with you than with any of the other boys he's seen him with. He thinks maybe you and he really might have something.'

'He said that?'


'I can't tell you how much I hope that's true.'

'I know, Nico. And I hope so too. As I said, I think you two are made for each other. Now, as I'm here, I might as well use your shower if that's OK?'

'Sure, help yourself.'

She disappears into the bathroom, and I hear the sound of the shower running. She emerges about ten minutes later, a towel round her body and another one around her hair.

'I used these ones off the rail, is that OK?'

'Sure…but I think the one round your body might have been the one Josh used.'

'What? Oh, god, it hasn't got his…stuff…all over it has it?'

'No, it hasn't. Don't worry about that.'

'Are you sure?'


'How can you be sure?'

'Because…because I am.'

I look at her and decide 'what the heck'.

'Because the first time was in the shower and the second time…well…it was on the towels on the bed, but his stuff didn't go anywhere near his towel. Or the bed for that matter. Or anywhere else it could leave a trace.'

It takes her a few seconds to register what I'm saying.

'NICHOLAS CUMMINS! Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?'

'That would depend on what you think I'm telling you.'

'You…he…his stuff…you…you didn't….'

She gestures towards her mouth.

I nod.

'Oh my God. And…your stuff…he….?'

I nod again.

'Isn't it…icky?'

'Not in the slightest. Try it with Alex,' I say mischievously.


'OK…you say that now, but….'

'God, I wish I'd never started this conversation. It's a picture I'm not going to be able to get out of my head.'

'Me either. I'm pleased to say.'

'Oh God…what's happened to my lovely innocent twin?'

'You were the one who asked me how I was sure….'

'I'm leaving now, and I'd be grateful if we didn't talk of this again.'

'OK, sis, but it really doesn't taste bad at all. Full of nutrients too.'

'STOP IT!' and she clamps her hands over her ears as she leaves.

I can't stop laughing.

I go and lie on the bed. There's still a couple of hours until we're due to meet up in the bar and I think maybe a little snooze would do me good. I go and have a quick shower to dechlorinate myself and then lie down on the bed with just a towel around my waist. My phone pings. There's a message from Josh.

'Can't stop thinking about earlier. Can't stop thinking about tonight. Can't stop thinking about you. X'

I reply:

'Likewise. Likewise. Likewise. XX'

I have a big smile on my face as I close my eyes and doze.

My internal body clock wakes me up at 6.30. I give myself a squirt of deodorant and put on a clean shirt. I try to restore some order to my unruly hair and then, at ten to seven, I head downstairs.

Less than a minute later, I'm knocking on Jules' door. A few seconds later she opens it.

'Hi Nico - all ready for your big night, then?' she says with a smile.

'Fuck off,' I say pleasantly.

She grins.

'Actually,' I say, 'I do feel all sort of...I don't know...'

'Randy as hell?'

'You're so charming...I was going to say excited...and sort of like I feel before the start of a match. It's weird...I feel hungry but also like I don't want to eat anything...'

'Guess your mouth's going to be full of something else later...'


'Just saying…and hey, I really do hope you have a wonderful night together.'

'Thanks...ready for dinner?'

She nods.

'Then may I escort you downstairs? Unless Alex is coming for you?'

'Not as far as I thank you.'

Alex and Josh are already downstairs when we arrive, having a drink in the bar with his parents. Our parents are sitting at the table next to them.

'There you are!' says my mother, 'Josh was just telling us all about the lovely day you and he spent together, Nick.'

I smile to myself. I bet he didn't give them all the details. At least I hope not...

Josh just flashes me a smile.

Both our families go into dinner together, but we're still seated on opposite sides of the room. Dinner itself is every bit as good as the previous evening. Parma ham with melon, fillets of John Dory, and then panna cotta to finish. When the offer of coffee arrives, what I really want to do is to go and grab Josh and run upstairs to bed with him, but I tell my libido to behave itself and follow my parents dutifully into the lounge.

Like the previous night, we all sit together. I share a sofa with Josh, and Jules does the same with Alex. And like the previous night, once coffee is finished, the four parents announce that they are going for a stroll. We wait until they've gone and then Josh just looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I nod and we both stand up.

'See you guys in the morning,' Josh says.

'Have fun,' says Alex, with a broad grin, 'and don't do anything we wouldn't do".

'Oh, I think you can bet we'll be doing several things that you wouldn't do....'

They both laugh.

And with that, we make our way upstairs.

Once inside my room, we embrace and kiss. I go to pull off my shirt, but Josh stops me.

'Let me do that.'

I drop my arms and he proceeds to undress me. Item by item. It's surprisingly erotic. Finally, as I stand there, naked and erect, he pulls me to him. I feel his hands running down my back and over my buttocks. There is something powerfully sensual about the feel of my naked flesh against his fully-clothed body.

'God, I want you so badly,' he whispers in my ear.

'I'm all yours, Josh.'

He pulls his shirt off, while I undo his belt, pop the stud on his trousers and unzip him. He kicks his trousers away as they fall to the floor round his ankles. His briefs are tented with his arousal. I pull them down to his knees, releasing his erection, and we stumble back onto the bed.

Our physical hunger may have been sated by dinner, but it's been replaced by an all-consuming sexual hunger that now demands to be satisfied.

And we do our best to do so. Having been introduced to the joys of oral sex earlier that afternoon, I can't get enough of it - both giving and receiving. Individually and mutually. The first time is urgent. The second time slow, relaxed and extended. But in some ways the best bit is afterwards, when I'm lying in his arms as we kiss and touch and stroke in the afterglow.

His fingers drift across my chest.

'I know we've only known each other two days, Nico, but I have such feelings for you. And I don't mean just lust - though God knows you turn me on something rotten - it's...I don't know what it is...but it's all-consuming, Nico. It scares me.'

'Then let's be scared together, Josh...because I feel the same.'

He puts his head on my chest, and in a voice that's no more than a whisper, says,

'I think I'm falling in love with you, Nico.'

'You're falling in love with me?'

'Yes...if that's OK with you?'

He looks up at me. Our eyes meet.

I'm stunned. It's what I wanted to say to him but didn't dare. But he takes my hesitation for denial.

'Oh god, it's not OK, is it? I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have...'

I put a finger on his lips.

'Of course it's OK, dummy. More than's bloody amazing!'

'You mean that?'

''re the first boy I've ever...been with. Logic says that the chances of this being love rather than lust, or gratitude, or infatuation are minimal...but that's not how it feels. It feels like...something else. Perhaps that's what love is. What love feels like. And if you're feeling the same way...then maybe it is. And you know what? I don't care. I want to explore it...whatever it is. For as long as whatever it is lasts. If that's OK with you.'

'You are truly amazing, Nico. And it's very OK with me.'

He lifts his face up to mine and kisses me. I'm I heaven. I don't want this to end.


How many more days do we have together? Five? Four?

'Josh…what are we going to do when this holiday's over?'

'Try to keep seeing each other? Use Facetime? Visit each other during the holidays? '

He pauses.

'And…well…look, Nico, and sorry if I'm running ahead of myself here, but I don't know what your plans are for Uni, but I want to be a doctor and I'm applying to the Med School at Bristol Uni for my degree. Have you completed your Uni applications yet, because maybe Bristol does a course in whatever subject you're interested in? Maybe if it did and you didn't have plans for anywhere else –you could apply and then….''

I cut him short.

'God. How stupid am I? Bristol is one of the Unis I've applied to!'

'Really? Oh wow, Nico. Maybe we really ARE meant to be together.'

'Wouldn't that be amazing?'

I feel a sudden lightness in my soul at the thought of it. 'God, I could hug you!'

'What's stopping you….?'

We hug, and as we do so our eyes meet, and I can see in them - and he can see in mine - that we both want each other again, but…

'I don't know about you, Josh, but I'm literally shagged out. Much as I would love to...go again...I don't think I can. Twice this afternoon and twice now…maybe we should have waited. Sorry.'

He smiles.

'No apology necessary, I'm drained as well – and I don't regret this afternoon one bit; time for sleep. But maybe in the morning?'

'Maybe,' I say with a grin.

He rolls onto his back, and I throw an arm across his chest and put my head on his shoulder.

'This is the first time I've spent the night with anyone. I'm so pleased it's with you.'

'In the words of a text message from a very sexy boy...Likewise.'

And that's how we fall asleep.

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