The Boy Who Understood
by Biff Spork
Chapter 7
The Big Sadness
On Sunday morning, David rolled out of bed before sunrise. Pink dawn light colored the sky as he pedaled out onto the road, but the sun had yet to climb above the horizon. It rose and warmed his back while he sped over the pavement. So much joy filled him that he had to burst into song, though he laughed at himself while he sang. When he pulled his bike into the trees at the park's edge, Zhiv, Erg, and Berky were waiting for him.
"Let's get you out of these," said Zhiv. He took the pack from David's back and tugged at his T-shirt. While Zhiv folded the T-shirt and put it inside the pack, David dropped his shorts and underwear to his ankles and stepped out of them, Zhiv knelt and unfastened his sandals. He examined David's feet. "Your feet feel okay?" he said.
"They're maybe a little sore from being barefoot yesterday, but no problem."
Zhiv stood, and they wrapped their arms around each other. David lost all sense of time in the sweetness of their embrace. They might have stood there for one minute, or ten minutes, or an hour.
"Zhiv, I'm so happy to see you, I feel like crying."
"Yeah, it's great isn't it. Er…I don't mean it's great you seeing me. I mean, what's great is when I see you. It makes me happy. But it's great that I make you happy too. I mean, it's all great."
David had to laugh. "Zhiv, relax. I always know what you mean."
Zhiv pulled back a little then and shook his head. "Words!" Then he smiled into David's eyes. "It's good to make someone happy. I used to make people sad because I wasn't a happy person."
"Really? Why weren't you happy?"
"I didn't know. It was like a wind blowing through my head that nobody else could hear. Sometimes it was so loud I couldn't hear normal sounds. So, they tested my ears. 'No problem,' they said. Whatever I was hearing wasn't a real noise — I should ignore it, but I couldn't ignore it. It was like telling someone to ignore a flood or an earthquake. It was bigger than I was."
Zhiv trembled, and David tightened his arms around him. "So, what happened?"
"I found out where the sound was coming from," said Zhiv. "There was a huge place like a prison, not far from where I was living. In one long building, people kept thousands of pigs locked up in cages so small they couldn't even walk a few steps. The pigs felt so much misery and fear, they could only cry. Their suffering and crying never stopped. Because it was such a huge sadness, at first I couldn't think. As soon as I could think, I knew I had to go far away from that place. I knew I would never be free from the sound as long as I lived there."
Zhiv shook his head. "So, I left; I ran away from the sound."
"Do you still hear it?"
"It's very faint up here, but I still hear it, sometimes. I don't think I'll stop hearing it until animals are not treated like that anymore."
They stood in silence for a minute. Then Zhiv spoke again. "I have to warn you. There's something I'm very afraid of. Every day, as I get better at learning the mara, I can talk over longer distances and hear, too. That means, for me, the mara gets bigger all the time. It doesn't reach to the valley yet, but when it does, I'll start to hear the suffering of those animals again. I'm afraid I won't be able to stand it. It's like having a tornado in my head."
"Is there anything I can do?" said David.
"You're doing it, just being here. It's like you're the opposite of that pain. When you're here with me, I feel strong, like I can do anything, like nothing can bother me."
"So, I'll try to be here as much as possible. I want that, too."
"I know. But I have to warn you: If you learn how to be in the mara, you'll begin to hear that sound, too. It's the worst sound in the world. It's like the greatest pain you can imagine."
"And you're going ahead, even though you know you're going to hear it again?" David said.
"Yeah." Zhiv shrugged. "I don't have a choice, but I'm afraid, David, and I'm afraid for you, too. It's a terrible thing. Once you've heard it, once you've seen it, you can't look away. If you move ahead with me, there's no turning back."
They solemnly held each other's gaze for a minute.
David's face softened into a smile. "Well," he said, "you really do know how to make a boy feel gloomy."
Zhiv's face wrinkled with concern. Then he tittered. David laughed too, and the forest rang with their wild laughter. They collapsed onto the ground, and laughed, and hugged until they were exhausted.
They lay, looking into each other's eyes. "Zhiv, when I'm with you, I'm not afraid of anything. Wherever you go, I'll be right beside you."
Zhiv pulled David into a tighter embrace. "Me, too." He kissed the end of David's nose. "Let's go!"
"What are we going to do today?"
"I thought we could go to the lake on the plateau. I need to get cleaned up, and a lot of people there are excited about seeing you. You're going to get a nice surprise! Then we can have a long, cool swim. Now, hug Erg and Berky, and we can go. While we walk, let's not talk with words. Just let your mind open up and be in the mara. You don't have to think. I'll lead the way. Okay?"
"Okay," said David. He knelt to hug the cougar, then stood and put his arms around the bear. Zhiv picked up the pack and marched further into the forest, loud with morning birdsong. David followed close behind. Erg and Berky flanked them.
River phoned Derek to see if they might do something. He wanted to know about Jeremy, too, but he thought it would seem suspicious to ask. He could only hope that Derek might mention the kid. Meeting Jeremy again scared River. He feared going over to their house, but he wanted to see the younger boy so badly he couldn't sit still. He cursed himself repeatedly for what he'd done with Jeremy on Saturday, but halfway through his curse, he always fell into a reverie that left him aching for more Jeremy.
Derek said his day was ruined. He and Jeremy had to go on a family visit to their grandparents. They had no choice. They'd be gone all day.
River decided to make the long ride out to Jude's. Maybe he would be free. If he wasn't, at least River would have killed a couple of hours.
Pete woke up when Doreen climbed back into bed with him.
She snuggled up to him. "I put some coffee on."
"It's Sunday, so we don't have to get up yet," he said.
"No, but I've got some things I want to do today, and I need to do some food shopping — stuff I can't get at the supermarket. David's going through a lot of food lately. He's about due for the legendary growth spurt. It's supposed to happen around his age."
"Okay. Is he around?"
"No, I heard him leaving early, like around sunrise. He left a note. Said he was going up the mountain again."
"Last night was really good," said Pete.
"It was the best. It's so easy to lose sight of what's important. You get busy and you're doing this and that, and you get used to it all being kinda ho-hum. Then something like last night happens, and you realize, yeah, this is what it's all about. This is why we got married and bought this house. It's why we both go to work every day."
"Yeah, don't tell anyone I said so, but those veggie-burgers last night were okay, and the bike ride we had was great. I've been thinking maybe we should get a couple of those e-bikes for us too. They take all the work out of riding a bike. It's like there's no more hills. We could all go out together."
"Where did you guys go on your ride?"
"Just around the block and then onto the bike trail to Duck Lake. We didn't go all the way to the lake because it was getting dark. He was really happy. He didn't say anything, but I could see it. He was pumping away on his old bike to keep up with me, and grinning like he just won a prize when he was able to get ahead of me. It was great!"
"Pete, I want it to be more like that all the time. For me, David is like a treasure that we get to keep for maybe another five or six years. Then he'll be gone into his own life. But let's not lose a minute of those five years. Last night wasn't about veggie burgers. It was about making our family into a place where he can be himself and grow up happy. You thought he might lord it over you, like he won something, but he was just happy that for once, we were all on the same track."
"Yeah," said Pete. "You're right. He's the best kid anyone ever had."
"So," said Doreen, "I want our house to be vegan. I figure, if you think you need a meat fix, you can always go to a restaurant for your lunch. We can afford it. But there's not going to be any bacon and eggs, or steaks, or cheese, or milk in this house from now on. Okay?"
"Jeez," said Pete. "I thought I was letting him win a battle last night. It looks like he's won the war! No bacon? I mean, I'm keen on family togetherness and all, but no bacon?"
"If you go into bacon withdrawal, you can always go to that burger place for lunch and have a double bacon cheeseburger. I just don't want to have any stuff like that in the house anymore. Okay?"
"Yeah. Okay. You know, Doreen, actually I'm one hundred percent with you on this. I'm glad you figured it out. Last night was the best, and if eating veggie-burgers will get us more of that, bring on the veggie-burgers!"
One of Jude's two sisters met River at the door. "Hah!" she s norted . "It's Sunday, so he won't be up till noon. You can go up to his room if you want, if you can stand the smell." She pointed up the stairs. "Second door on the right."
River found Jude still asleep, but a few pokes woke him. He was happy to see River. This was the first time River had come to his house.
"Hey, man, great that you're here," Jude said as he got out of bed. He pulled a pair of shorts over his boxers. "Let's go downstairs. You got me up and I need some breakfast."
After Jude had eaten a bowl of cereal and a couple of pop-tarts, he said, "You got any ideas?"
"About?"
"What we're gonna do?"
"Nope."
Jude's mother came into the kitchen.
"This is River Jameson, Mom. We hang out at school all the time."
"Hi River," she said. "Jude, I'm gonna take the girls to the mall. We figure to be there all afternoon, so you're gonna have to get your own lunch. There's lots of sandwich stuff like ham and cheese, or you can microwave some of those pizza things in the freezer. We'll bring back some take-out for supper. Your dad's at the chili cook-off, and we won't see him until after dark. So, if you go out, make sure you lock the house up before you leave. Okay?"
"Okay, Mom."
A few minutes later, the front door slammed, and they heard her car backing out of the driveway.
"So, we got the house to ourselves," said Jude. "We can play some video games, or we could just boot up my laptop and see what's on the net."
"You got your own laptop?" said River. "That's great. My old man says he'll get me one as soon as the pigs learn how to fly."
"Mine's old and slow, but we can surf around and maybe find something interesting." They went back up to Jude's bedroom and sat down at his desk.
"Wow," said River as they watched videos on Jude's favorite porn site. "Your parents don't mind if you look at this stuff?"
Jude laughed. "They don't have a clue. I don't think the old man's ever been online, ever. My mom saw a tv show about porn addiction once, so she said to me, 'Don't you ever watch anything dirty.' I said, 'Okay, Mom'" Jude clicked a link to another video. "I really like this one. He slaps her bum while he's doing it. By the end, her bum's really red. It's not special effects. He's really whacking her."
Half-way through the video, Jude noticed River adjusting a bulge in his pants. Jude said, "The trouble with watching porn is that it makes you horny." He slid his hand inside his shorts.
"Yeah," said River.
"You hard?"
"Well, what do you think? Looking at these videos?"
"Me, too." Jude pulled down the zipper on his shorts. "Look!" From the hand inside his shorts he stuck a finger through the fly and wiggled it like it was a penis.
River laughed.
"You wanna choke the chicken?" said Jude.
"Choke the chicken?" spluttered River.
"You know, spank the monkey? Jerk off?"
Jude figured River wouldn't need much convincing, and he was right. River's only concern was that someone might come into the room and see them.
"You heard my mom. Everybody's gone out." Jude pulled some tissues from a box and handed one to River. "Just squirt into that. Then you won't have any mess to clean up."
A half hour later they were shooting hoops in the driveway.
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