A Friend of the Devil
by Bensiamin
Chapter 18
I didn't think we'd been careless, at least not that we knew of. I also knew we had not done anything stupid and public and overt, so how could they know that we were having a relationship that went far beyond friendship? And both of these women were professionals in roles that made them mandatory reporters, and that could be our undoing, because if they found out the truth they were legally obligated to report it, and that meant outing us both as gay, but it also meant reporting me for having relations with an underage boy. I could feel the blood drain from my face and the sweat start to break in my arm pits as those thoughts raced around in my head.
I tried to keep eye contact with Susan, so I didn't appear either intimidated or guilty, and I noticed that while she certainly wasn't smiling, she also didn't look angry.
She continued, alternating her gaze from Jackson to me. "We want to ask you how much more there is to this relationship than meets the eye, but that is a deeply personal question and therefore none of our business. We are not going to ask you that question. I will say that again. We are not going to ask you that question. We do not want to know the answer to that question. You both need to understand, though, that if that question is forming in our minds, it is unlikely that we are the only ones. Am I making myself clear?"
We both sat silently, apparently simultaneously thinking that silence was the best answer. I still had eye contact with her, and I could tell that my head was nodding involuntarily, and I supposed that Jackson's was too. Then I saw the wrinkles form around her eyes, the wrinkles that go along with a smile, and she did just lightly smile.
"Ellen and I will tell you candidly that we like you both a great deal, and think you are very good for each other, and that it is quite clear that this relationship you have is benefitting both of you. But, and I'll say it again, if the question about the nature of your relationship is forming in our minds, it well might be forming in the minds of others too." She paused again, to let that sink in.
Ellen had been sitting silently, watching our reactions and spoke up. "We're not trying to frighten you by putting it to you this way, but we are trying to shock you. We hope you can understand the difference. Now, we're going to tell you something that we expect to be held in confidence and not go beyond this room, because it is personal and private. Susan and I have loved each other for many years and being able to purchase this property together enabled us to live out our relationship in the way we had hoped to for many more years, while still maintaining a certain image. If what we think is the nature of your relationship is, in fact, the case, we do not want to know that. In fact, we can not know that. You understand that we're both mandatory reporters and that one of you is below the age of consent for a few more months."
The blood was starting to flow in both of us, and the numbing grip of fear in our stomachs was easing as we processed what Ellen had just said. I looked at Jackson and he nodded his head once. I looked at Susan directly, then back to Ellen, just starting to understand what they were doing. "I think we both understand what you are saying," I managed to get out in a voice I'm sure was barely louder than a squeak.
Susan had ceded the floor to Ellen, who continued. "Now I'm going to speak about some hypotheticals. You know what that means, right Jackson? It means situations that could be, that might happen somewhere, sometime, but aren't necessarily based in specific facts or circumstances." I could see Jackson nod.
"We still live in a state and country where relationships between people of the same sex is not, generally speaking, socially acceptable. Even though it is technically legal in this state, should two older professional men or women be in a relationship together, it would cause a certain amount of social and perhaps even professional problem for them. There are still many people in this society that are quite narrow minded and intolerant. Frankly, Pastor Dave, that's what has made your sermons so refreshing, because you are constantly preaching about the New Testament themes of tolerance and acceptance. That said, if the kind of relationship between older, established and consenting adults could become a real problem in this society, should it become common knowledge, to say nothing about it happening in a small rural town, then you can imagine how, hypothetically speaking, should an ordained minister and a high school student be found to have such a relationship it could be a huge problem. I'm stressing the hypothetical here, just so you understand, and I'm not making any assumptions."
She looked at Susan who took over. They clearly had decided in advance what was going to be discussed and who was going to say what. We were sitting silently, and it felt to me like being talked to for being caught cheating on an exam when expulsion from school was a real possibility looming over your head. Except this was much more consequential than expulsion from school. This could include prison and a ruined career.
Susan smiled widely. "I want to be clear that we're having this conversation, one way though it is, because we care very much for both of you. We went through much of what you're going through too. There is a big difference though, and that operates in two ways. First, one of you won't be eighteen for a few months. Second, we're mandatory reporters. So, you both need to very clearly understand something. We do not know the nature of your relationship. Let me say that again. We do not know the nature of your relationship. Meaning we do not have objective hard evidence. By way of example, we had objective hard evidence of physical abuse when we saw Jackson's face after Bud hit you and knocked you down the stairs. Do you understand?"
I could feel my breathing return to normal and no longer felt like I might throw up. I quickly glanced at Jackson and he seemed to be tracking and looking better as well.
"Yes, Miss Albright, I understand what you are saying."
"Good," she said. "Now the important part. We don't know the nature of your relationship and we cannot know the nature of your relationship. Do you understand? We are legally obligated to report what we know to be a violation of the law. As professionals, we don't deal in gossip or suspicions. Homosexuality was decriminalized in this state in 1972, and that is what made it possible for Ellen and me to purchase this home and risk living together. However, the age of consent laws are what they are. The message we want both of you to leave here with tonight is that we care very much for you, but that we cannot know the nature of your relationship."
She paused again, and it was clear "the talk" was over. Suddenly she was smiling gaily, and it was as if the conversation in their living room had never taken place. "It was so lovely to have both of you charming and handsome gentlemen in our home this evening. Ellen and I are so pleased you could join us."
Ellen chimed in, "It was a lovely evening, and we so enjoyed having you with us and hope you'll feel welcome to come again as part of a bike ride or on another evening."
They weren't saying the evening was over, but it was clear that if this were a movie we were now on the other side of the climax of the story. I stood up and said to them both, "I think it's fair to say that we understand exactly what you have been saying to us, and I thank you for that. I can also speak for Jackson and say we care greatly about both of you too. I know now that to have this conversation with us meant you made a decision to speak about yourselves in new and personal ways, and I can assure you that we'll honor that and that we take your counsel very seriously, hypothetical though some of it may be."
I paused so to give Jackson an opportunity, and he said, "I agree with everything Pastor Dave said, and I also want to say that one of the best things is that you treat me like an adult, like I'm a person that matters. I understand what you said, and why, and just, thanks. Thanks a lot."
Susan and Ellen walked us to the front door, and we were standing in the hallway when she said, "In as much as that conversation never happened, I think I would like to give you both a hug before you leave." And she did, and so did Ellen. Hugging other adults wasn't new to me, but it clearly was a new experience for Jackson, but he handled it well, almost as if there was nothing tacky about it at all, rather that he was receiving a new type of affection from these women for the first time.
We were silent as we walked to the car, and then drove down the driveway. It was only a mile later that Jackson said, "That was close! I thought I was going to pee my pants I was so fucking scared!"
Almost without thinking I responded, "Close implies a near miss. That was no near miss. That was a direct hit. The difference is that they weren't tying to do damage. They were trying to help us, to keep us out of trouble in the best way they could."
"Do you really think so? I felt like they were laying down the law. It was like being back in junior high and getting a lecture by a tough teacher after you'd been caught."
"Jackson, I know it was emotional. I felt like I was going to throw up for a while when it started. But, put the emotion aside and what did they say to us?"
"Well, it felt like they were saying cut it out or you'll be busted."
"That may have been part of it, but it was only part of it. They have a big responsibility because of their professional roles and the mandatory reporter thing. They also told us, and they've probably told no one else, that they're a couple. They also said nothing about ending our relationship. What they said was that we had to make sure that they had no objective facts that they had to act on. That they would be forced to act on because of their professional roles. That's a lot bigger than 'cut it out or you'll be busted.'"
Jackson was pensive, with his chin in his hand like he was really trying to understand what just happened
"It wasn't a close call, Lover Boy. In a way it was the most considerate thing that I've ever experienced. Here are these two friends who are constrained by a certain set of legal requirements, but very concerned for us. Concerned for our relationship. And within the constraints that they have to work with, the were sending a very clear message and trying to help us establish some boundaries we can't cross over."
"Okay, I guess I'm starting to get that but why's my first reaction, after the fear, that it was a threat?"
I reached out and took his hand and said, "Don't take this wrong, but it's mainly because you're reacting like a student to a teacher. Remember, Susan was your teacher, so it's natural that you respond that way. That's not what happened. What took place was a very structured dynamic between a group of adults. And it had to be in what might appear to be legal double talk because those are the constraints that they have to work with. Can you see that?"
"Maybe that helps explain some of the things they said that didn't make that much sense, like all that hypothetical stuff."
I decided to drop the bombshell. "Now you're getting it. They're a couple, and they know we are a gay couple!"
"What? Are you shitting me? How the fuck can that be true? We've been careful? Other than that one time with Gary what have we done?
"Jackson, you're missing a key point. They're homosexuals too!"
"Oh fuck. Now I see, and stupid me, even though I was joking about that when we were here before, somehow, I missed the reality. If they're a couple, then they're seeing things differently aren't they?"
"That's for sure," I replied. "They're seeing things two ways. First the same objective way everyone else does, and then second, they're seeing things through the eyes of those who have been here before and had to live the same struggle, the same lie."
"What do you mean lie?" He sounded offended, like he hadn't considered it.
"Jackson, I don't mean my love for you is a lie, or is false, or anything like that. What I mean is that for the reasons Susan and Ellen laid on the table, we can't be publicly what we are. We can't hold hands, we can't show affection, we can't be us. We have to act one way in public and another in private. That's also known as living a lie. I'll tell you, it's started to really bug me, because we can't be who we are, but that's what it is."
"So, what does that mean we have to do?"
"Well, my read" I said, "is that we should think of it as an event to try and make sure we don't cross over the line and crash and burn. They were telling us that they care about us, but they have to work within a certain set of constraints, and not to put them in a position where they have to do something they absolutely don't want to do. They were telling us that we can't do anything that let's them know for sure that we have the kind of relationship we have."
"So, what do we do? It's not like we're running around kissing in public or anything!" He sounded frustrated and still a little scared.
"You're right about that. If I had to distill it down, I'd say that what they are saying is that they're seeing too much familiarity. Objectively, from the outside, this is supposed to be a pastor and church youth relationship. Or maybe you'd call it a pastor and counselor relationship, but in both you're below the age of consent. I think part of what they were saying had to do with being too familiar, like you calling me 'Rev.' And maybe the other part had to do with a pastor spending all this time with a minor in unsupervised settings."
"Oh my god!" It came out of him almost like a wail. "Oh fuck, have we been totally busted, is it all going to blow up?
I was still holding his hand, and squeezed it, hard. "Jackson, calm down. Everything they said and did was the opposite of busting us or blowing us up. Listen to me. They may have had something similar happen to them when they were first together. Think about that. They are trying to protect us."
"You mean, we're not done. Don't tell me we're done, that I can't see you or be with you. I'd die. Honest to god, I'd die. I feel like my life is finally worth living. You can't tell me it's over or we're done."
"My beautiful boy, look at me." He was so up up tight he'd been staring staring ahead out the windshield the whole time with his hands clenched together in his lap. On a normal drive he would have kicked off his Keds and sat sideways on the seat with his back to the door.
"I'm going to pull over. Just sit tight." He glanced at me, still looking distraught.
I found a wide shoulder and pulled over and slipped the transmission in Park.
"Jackson." He looked at me. "Take off your Keds."
"What? Are you kidding?"
"Take off your Keds and turn sideways in that seat like you always do and put your feet up here on the console." I patted his side of the console where his feet usually rested.
He looked at me like I was crazy, but slipped the Keds off, and swiveled in his seat and hesitantly put his feet on the console, like he thought this was some trick.
"You forgot to lock the door," I said.
"Are you joking? We're stopped on the side of the road."
"Doesn't matter. My beautiful boy could get hurt falling out of the door while we were stopped just as easily as while we were driving. Lock the door."
He reached over his left shoulder with his right arm and pushed down the button and turned back to face me. "Okay. The door's locked." He said it almost as a challenge.
I ran my right hand up his left leg, squeezed his left knee, moved over to his right knee and slid down this right leg to his ankle. "You feel so much better when I know you're safe and sound," I whispered to him.
I lifted his right foot off the console and placed it on my thigh." This is what I like best about you sitting that way. We're in contact. I can feel you. I can feel your caring. I can feel your love. Do you feel the same thing?"
He was quiet for almost a minute and we just looked at each other. Then I saw the beginning of tears, just small tears and the smallest amount of sobbing, and he said, "I was so fucking scared I thought I was going to die!" The he moved as only a lithe and flexible teen could and the next thing, he was across the console laying in my lap with his arms around me sobbing on my shoulder. "Tell me we're Okay. That's all I need to know. Tell me we're Okay."
I tipped up his face and kissed his eye lids and licked his tears. I was surprised that's what I was doing, but I felt the need to share his emotion. Then I kissed his eyelids again and then his mouth. We kissed sensuously, but most of the energy was in the hugging. Wanting to feel comfort and safety in each other's arms. "We're Okay, Jackson. We're Okay. We've been given a sanity check and we just have to figure out how we're going to adjust our game, that's all."
A few minutes later Jackson's breathing was back to normal, and I whispered, "How about we head home now?" He smiled up at me, then slid back over to the passenger seat, resuming his position leaning against the door, with both feet on my right thigh. I shifted into Drive and held onto his feet as we drove home.
When we pulled into the driveway, I parked and said softly, "Come on inside for a minute" It was only 8:30 and we were earlier than he'd told his Mom he'd be home. We went in the kitchen, then I took his hand and he followed me into the living room. I pulled the drapes and pulled him toward the couch. He automatically moved to lay down with his head in my lap, but I wasn't having any of it. I too was feeling the emotion of the near miss, and I just grasped him with both arms and pulled him to me, chest to chest, his head on my shoulder. I just held him. That's all I wanted to do. Just hold him and assure him, and assure me, that we were still together. That what I'd been saying about what had happened was true, and that what we had to do now was adjust. Not end but adjust.
Finally, I released him, and we moved to the couch, and with his head in my lap I kissed his forehead and said, "Do you know how much I love you? I'm saying it loud and clear. I love you. I've never loved anyone like this before. I love you. You make me whole. I can't even conceive a life without you in it."
He simply said, "Me too David, that's how I feel too."
"So," I continued, "we adjust. That's all we have to do. We adjust how we appear to the outside world. We think about it and we're careful. We have to get from here to your birthday. That's less than three months. We may have to make some sacrifices and give up some of what we're used to. I'm willing to do that because I want you to be part of my life forever. Can you do that too?"
He nodded, and then I kissed him. Deeply and sensuously and passionately, like it was our first kiss or maybe as if it was our last. I tried to pour into it the feeling of everything I'd just said. He responded and when we broke, we just lay quietly in each other's arms for a couple of minutes.
"You know what," I said?
"Yeah, I know. I need to get home so I'm not late," he replied. "I'll come to you later. By then I'll need you. Do you hear me, my Sexy Man? By then I'll need you."
I just smiled and wiggled my eyebrows. "I'll be ready for you then." We unwound from each other and he slipped off the couch. As he walked across the living room I said "don't' forget you've got to ask Gary to see if Tom or someone can cover for you tomorrow on the mowing."
He gave me a thumbs up and was out of sight crossing the kitchen.
Again, later when he came to me, he didn't bother with sitting in the chair. He came right to the side of the bed and I woke as he dropped his clothes on the floor and slipped under the sheets. He came straight into an intense hug. We hugged and caressed and kissed each other's face and neck and ears for at least ten minutes. It was as if we were long separate lovers that had just been reunited.
Finally, Jackson whispered to me, "I'm sorry I got so scared and freaked out."
"It's Okay love, it's Okay. It was a shock. Remember, though, that's the exact word they used. They wanted to shock us. I know they didn't want to scare us. It was more like a slap to the side of the face, kind of like "Wake Up! If you don't you will blow it!" At least that's how I see it."
"You're right," he whispered into my ear. "Why did they pick tonight?
"It had to be private because of what they told us. And tonight, because church camp starts on Monday, and I think Susan is worried that we've become too friendly, too casual, and it will show. So, we have to talk tomorrow on the way to Portland about how we tighten this up, so everyone sees 'Pastor and counselor' and no more. We have to do that, and we can, we can figure this out. Don't you think?"
"Yeah, we can. I don't want to, but we can. I thought about it when I was home, and like you said, we have to get to my birthday. That's all, and I can do anything I have to to get there. Oh, by the way, I talked to Gary about the mowing and he called Tom, and he doesn't have to work tomorrow till late, so he'll help Gary with the mowing, and they'll split the mowing money. Tom was cool with it."
I mumbled "That's great." We'd settled down, like the emotional roller coaster was over, and I was playing with his pubes. I could feel his erection, and mine too. Jackson started dancing his fingers over my belly, and then we were stroking each other's cocks. It wasn't long and drawn out. Suddenly he was on top of me, kissing me passionately, grinding on me, and I was responding exactly the same way. It was like we had a deep animal need to release after what we'd been through earlier in the evening. I started leaking and it because slicker and more sensuous and then we both started groaning as we got closer and closer. And we came, gasping and groaning into each other's necks. It wasn't elegant, but it was wonderful and was just what we needed.
I felt Jackson slip out of bed and dress at 5:30 and extended my hand out to take his. Then I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed it, looked up at him and said, "You're my Lover Boy, and I can't live without you." He leaned down and kissed me and said, "I know, David. Me too!'
The coffee was brewed when I heard the tires in the gravel driveway, and that expression I'd been anticipating since I got out of bed finally came through the kitchen door. His face was luminous in the early morning light, the grin was wide and the dimples flaring, and just the slightest sheen of sweat on his forehead from pedaling his bike as the temperature started to rise. I was at the counter getting out the cereal and turned and met him halfway across the kitchen. We grasped each other once again like long lost lovers, or at least lovers that had a close call and had another chance. We hugged and kissed and mumbled our feelings until we were both had absorbed enough to be assured all was well again.
After we ate Jackson headed home, then he was back, and we left a little before 10:00 am. The traffic was light on Hwy 99 and 217 that runs up the west side of metro Portland to the West Hills. We were parked and had purchased tickets by 11:00 and did the circuit of the zoo. It was small but high quality, and we agreed it would work for our church camp group. It wouldn't be too much to take in. We had lunch at the zoo and then dropped down to Burnside and found parking near Powell's World of Books. It was the largest bookstore I'd ever been in, with color coded rooms and too many titles to keep track of. We wandered around to get a sense of the layout and spent time in the science fiction section. Then I was curious about the classics section, and we went there looking for the Plato section. Sure enough they had copies of The Symposium. I was thrilled and started asking where I'd find Joseph Campbell's works. Jackson's attention had been caught by something else and he said he'd catch up to me. I found The Hero With A Thousand Faces and then just spent some time walking around impressed by the huge inventory.
Eventually Jackson found me, and he had a bag with him. "What did you find," I asked curious that he'd bought books when he hadn't said anything previously.
"I bought three used Mary Renault books. I got talking to one of the clerks because you were so upbeat about her writing, and he told me that The King Must Die and the other early Greek stories were good, but he understood I was having trouble getting going with it. He said I should start with this," and he carefully pulled The Last of the Wine out of his bag, followed by Fire From Heaven and The Persian Boy. He went on, "They were in the Gay literature section!"
He was grinning widely, and said, "The clerk seemed to understand what I was looking for, you know what I mean, and said they'd be a lot more fun to read. And they're used paperbacks, so they were only a dollar each." His dimples had flared, and he was wiggling his eyebrows. He carefully slid the books back in the bag, and we headed for the cash register. I paid for my two books and we decided to walk around a little in that part of town. There were lots of stores and restaurants and the Hotel Alma nearby, an interesting triangular shaped building. We got a sense of the area and then headed back to the El Camino so it wouldn't be too late when we got home.
We hadn't spoken hardly at all on the way to the zoo about last night's shock with Susan and Ellen, but we knew we had to on the way home. "Have you thought about what we said last night, about how we're going to adjust our game?" I wanted to see if he'd thought about it and had his own ideas.
"Yeah," he said, "I thought about it this morning on my paper route. It's going to be hard for me because of the Invisible Kid thing." He was sitting sideways in the seat, in his favorite position with one foot on the console and the other on my thigh. I grasped the foot on the console.
"Tell me what you mean by that."
"Well, like I said before I was the Invisible Kid and now that's over, I almost feel like a different person. You know, real and happy. I don't want to change back to acting like that miserable kid. I told you I felt like I'd gotten out of prison or something. I don't want to go back. I can't go back. Do you know what I mean?"
I squeezed his foot. "I do, and I don't think that's what we're talking about. To go back to the Invisible Kid would mean Bud and his abuse are back in your life, and that's not going to happen. You're not going back there. Trust me. And I have my fears and worries too, because I think I've changed so much in the last three weeks that I'm not going back either."
I turned and grinned at him and blew him a kiss. He blew one back. I went on, "I've been thinking about a lot of stuff too, you know, and I think the main thing we have to think about is being free."
He was quiet for a few moments, then said, "What? I don't understand."
"Okay, look. I think your example of feeling like you got out of prison is a good one. I feel liberated in a whole new way too, like I've been given a new lease on life or something. It seems to me we've both been freed. I've been repressed most of my life and you've been depressed most of yours, and now we're free of that. Got that? Repressed and Depressed. And we're discovering these new selves, and it's exciting and fun, right?"
"Yeah," then he said to himself, "repressed and depressed. That's a good one, Rev!"
"We'll come back to the Rev name but being released from those kinds of conditions is elating and exciting and I think we've let our exuberance spill over and lost sight of the boundaries we have to live by. For instance, Gary didn't have to see me hugging you to figure out we were getting close. Susan and Ellen saw it, so that means they're observing how we interact, how we talk, stuff like that. Take "Rev" for example. I think you started using it in a smart-ass way, and I kind of liked that. But it's kind of become a term of endearment. I appreciate it, but other people are surprised or wonder why you're using it. Does that make sense?"
He nodded, tracking with me, but I realized he was waiting for me to suggest some new ground rules or changes we'd work on. "Okay, I'm thinking the two big things we need to do are get rid of the too familiar behavior in public. You have to stop calling me Rev and acting like we're best buds or something. You have to call me Pastor Dave and act accordingly. That'll be a hard switch, but I think we can do it. The second big thing is like today – time I'm spending with you as an unaccompanied minor. That will change be itself next week with church camp, and then the week after with my parents here, and that will just leave a week till Labor Day weekend and then school starts."
"Does that mean I can't come over here after my paper route? Or after Gary and I are done mowing?"
"I don't know. That's tearing my heart out!" I was starting to get emotional. "One of the problems is that Lilly sees it and thinks it's great, that it's helping you, and it is, but she told Susan about a lot of it…which means she could be telling other people too! The afternoons will take care of themselves next week with camp. And both morning and afternoon will the week after when my parents visit. Let's just let those weeks happen and then we'll figure it out after that. What do you say?"
He nodded, clearly unhappy that a routine he'd grown to like as much as I had was about to get upset.
When we pulled in the driveway, Jackson said he was going to stash the books in his fort because he couldn't risk his Mom finding them in his room. He was back in ten minutes and we had a soda on the back porch. We knew he wouldn't be over tonight and headed in the kitchen with the empty cans to say goodbye. We hugged and I kissed him fully, trying to send all my love his way. "Maybe we'll have to start sneaking out to your fort! Sleep tight, Lover Boy. See you in church tomorrow. Don't forget we've got the camp meeting in then afternoon. Do you think 2:00 PM is Okay."
He nodded. "Yeah, everyone can go home and change and get lunch, then come back. It's cool." He grasped me tightly and said it was another great day, gave me a kiss and was gone.
The Sunday reading was again from St. Luke, chapter 12: "Have no fear, little flock, for your Father has approved of giving you the Kingdom. Sell your belongings and give gifts of mercy. Make money pouches that do not wear out, a never-failing treasure in the heavens, where no thief gets near and no moth consumes. For where your treasure is, there your hearts will be also."
I mainly pointed out that the real focus of the passage isn't fear, rather it's the kingdom of heaven as was the reading last Sunday. And, equally importantly, it sits in a much larger passage of Jesus' teaching that focus on doing good and charitable works and has examples like the lilies of the field and the sparrow, which talk about God's provision as opposed to pursuing wealth and material goods. Again, it was about living out the values of the Kingdom here and now.
I saw Susan and Ellen for the first time since Friday night during coffee hour, and they acted as if nothing untoward had happened, as I expected. They were effusive about what a pleasant evening it had been, and how open and engaging and mature Jackson seemed, and Susan went on about how she was looking forward to the church camp. They were going to have dinner at a restaurant in town and meet us all back here at 2:00 PM for the final camp meeting.
I swung home for lunch and a quick nap and was back in time to open the church before Susan arrived, and we watched Jackson and Will and Tom arrive on their bikes. We met in the church hall, and Susan provided an overview of each day's church activities: a little Bible study or teaching, some singing or other uplifting kind of activity, and then we'd be off on the bus. Susan asked Will if he would take an active role in the singing since he not only had sung in choir at school, but also was in a band and clearly had no problem singing in front of people. He grinned and knew he was trapped and said, "Sure, Miss Albright." I explained what I'd learned with the site visits, and that the Silver Falls day meant cutting short the church activities due to the long drive. They were all excited about the Astoria pier and the Seaside beach. That got me to the counselor roles. "Okay, besides making sure the kids have fun and pay attention here, that's the other part for the counselors. We'll be in different places and kids can wander off or get lost or fall behind or whatever, so we have to have a count off system. Susan and I need to know you guys are looking after the kids like they're your charges, like you're responsible for their safety as well as them having a good time. Make sense?"
They all nodded and seemed serious enough. I decided there was no point in overdoing it at this meeting and asked if there were any questions. The only one was about how to dress, and I said, "It's summer and will likely be hot, so that probably means shorts and T-shirts, right?" Everyone nodded. Enrollment for church camp was 19 which meant we were able to rent a 24-seat school bus and didn't have to deal with one of the long monstrosities. We agreed to meet back at church at 9:30 on Monday for the 10:00 AM start time.
Jackson came by the parsonage after his paper route on Monday and we realized it wouldn't work if he was going to have time to go home, shower and change and get to church on time for camp to start.
As we started setting up for the kids to arrive, Susan already had the list of enrollees, and had broken them into three groups. Each of the three counselors had their set of kids to be responsible for. Will and Tom each were getting six, and Jackson got seven. The ages ranged from twelve to fifteen, so there would be some size disparity to manage. As the kids started to arrive, I had each counselor take a different position around the church hall and then Susan sent each counselor the kids that would comprise their group. Each one would be a mix of girls and boys, as well as different age levels. I was pretty sure each counselor would have to be creative to keep them together and to manage the group, so all had a good time.
I started off with some comments about the purpose of camp, the emphasis being on doing new things and having fun and learning something valuable while we were at it. I stressed that we were all in this together and that we had to look out for each other because we'd be traveling to new places, and again that it was about having a good time. Then we broke into what would become the daily pattern of singing a couple of songs and a short lesson followed by a short craft activity and then headed for the bus with the sack lunch each brought. We were usually able to wrap up around 11:15 and load up the kids on the bus that was magically sitting outside the church each day.
I had limited expectations for the first day's trip to Willamette Heritage Center, but I was proven wrong as the setting is a restored old mill with large grounds dotted with historic agricultural implements and many interesting exhibits. The counselors did a great job of keeping their groups together and leading or herding them through the site. At least we could now claim that church camp contributed to the kid's historic knowledge of their own state! We were back at the church by 3:30, but it was close to 4:00 before all the kids had been picked up by their parents. Jackson was the last counselor to leave and very discreetly said he'd see me later that night.
When he came to me, he undressed and slipped into bed as was now his routine, and we lay together in a warm embrace for some time, just chatting about how the day had gone. He was happy that everyone got along and seemed to enjoy the day. I asked why he seemed surprised and he said, "Well, you know how kids can be. Like, brats. I expected the worst, but it didn't happen." We were starting to feel the effects of laying next to each other naked and soon transitioned into a pleasant and peaceful love making session.
The kids were happy that we had to leave early for Silver Falls on Tuesday, so we had one song and the lesson and dropped the crafts project and had them all loaded up by 10:45 AM. I told them they could eat lunch on the bus or if it was too early to save it util we got to the timber pavilion where we'd be based. Once we arrived, we gave them till 12:30 to eat and hang out on the grass, and then the counselors got the groups together to hike the four-mile trail. The waterfalls in the amphitheater were amazing, and you could head the Oohs and Ahhs as the trail dropped down into the bowls and wrapped behind the waterfalls. Again, the counselors were very organized and none of the kids got left behind or wandered off the trail, and we got them all loaded up on time and back to the church.
Fortunately, we were back and then I was home in time to shower and get organized for the monthly Session meeting. I was lucky: the finance committee was introducing the church budget for the next year, and my involvement was minimal at this stage. I was able to give them a status read on Church Camp after the first two days, and report it was going well and sing Susan's organizational skills.
Wednesday's trip to Astoria promised to be another exciting day, as most had not been there, so climbing the Column and viewing the mouth of the Columbia River, the area of the Pacific Coast with the most shipwrecks due to violent currents, was astounding. The time at the pier was great fun for most, but that's where we had out first real problem. The counselors had organized the groups to walk around to different areas to see the fishing fleet, out to the end to see the big bridge and watch the commercial ships coming in from the Pacific, then down to the Fish 'n Chips place for an ice cream cone, and generally have a good time running around in between.
When Jackson's group lined up for ice cream, he immediately realized that one of his kids was missing. I was there with Susan to pay for the ice cream, and he came over and said, "Pastor Dave, I need you to watch my group for a while. Peter is missing. I have to go and find him." He wasn't panicked and acted very matter of fact as he said it. I nodded, and after he darted out the door Susan and I gathered his group outside on some picnic tables where they could still see the activity in the river.
It took ten minutes before Jackson reappeared with Peter in tow, and I was starting to get worried. I saw his head appear first as he came up some stairs on the river side of the pier. I watched them walk to the ice cream shop and he was holding Peter's hand and they were laughing and giggling and having a great time. I met him outside and said, "You two zip in there and get your ice cream so we can get organized to leave." He smiled and said, "Yes, sir, Pastor Dave. Come on Peter. You heard the Pastor. Let's go."
As it turned out, he and I were the last ones at the church after all the kids had been picked up. I asked him what had happened, and he said, "As soon as I saw he was missing I knew where he was."
"Weren't you worried?" I asked."
"Yeah, it's a pier and he could have fallen off and drowned. But I saw him ogling the seals down on the dock below the pier and going on about how cute they were, so I just knew that's where he was."
"You didn't panic or anything, did you?"
"Well, I would have if I'd seen him in the water, but there was no point till I knew something was really wrong. He just loved seeing the seals, and I should have known then that I had to watch him like a hawk. He got away from me once, and that won't happen again. He's a really fun kid with a huge curiosity for animals and a great sense of humor. Did you see us laughing and giggling on the walk back? He had all these jokes about animals."
"Really?" I was amazed. "Oh yeah, the last one was him complaining that he had to throw away his box of animal crackers at lunch. I fell for it and said 'Why?' And he says, 'The package said do not consume if seal is broken.' They were dumb but funny."
We were walking outside where his bike was waiting, and the El Camino was parked. "It looks like you had a fun time too, Jackson."
"Yeah, to my surprise I am having fun. Its fun helping other people have fun. Who'd have thought?"
"Well, I'm seeing something else too. My Dad used to say that adventure is the product of mismanagement. The event with Peter didn't turn into a crisis because you know how to manage it. You didn't panic, you applied logic and intuition and instead of getting everyone else in a panic you resolved the problem yourself. That's very mature."
He smiled, looking embarrassed. "I just did what needed to be done."
"I understand," I said, smiling back, "do you want a ride home? We can put the bike in the back of the El Camino."
"Nope, better not. We don't want to be seen as being too familiar." He was smiling and his eyes were sparkling so I knew he was kidding. But I was pleased he was carrying part of the responsibility.
I just said. "Good for you. I'm missing our time together. See you tomorrow morning."
The outing to the Portland Zoo went as we predicted after our site visit. It had the Zooliner, a miniature diesel-powered railway that went through all the exhibits, so the kids got to see the zoo in a real fun way. When they were all back and assembled with their counselors, each group headed off to walk the paths to each animal exhibits and learn something about the animals they were viewing. On the drive back Will got his group singing, and pretty soon everyone joined in and we had a virtual sing-along all the way back to Newberg.
I noticed that Jackson made a point of being the last to leave the church this afternoon too, and after he got his bike, we walked together to the El Camino. As I turned to say goodbye, he whispered, "I'm really missing you. Can I come to you tonight?"
I smiled and nodded, and we parted. When he came it was immediately apparent that he was more than just lonely. We kissed and stroked each other, and I asked him what was on his mind.
He said, "Mom got her test results and she has cancer. They won't know the details till next week, but that's what they told her today." I hugged him close and told him how sorry I was, but that we needed to be strong together till we got all the test results and knew what the treatment plan would be.
He nodded and lay quietly, kissing my neck, and then I felt him begin to assert himself and climb on top of me. We were both really hard by now, and the grinding was intense and passionate. After we'd both cum and he was still laying on my chest with his head on my shoulder, his face against my neck, I murmured, "You needed that didn't you? You were more than just lonely, a little horny too?" He nodded and kissed and licked my neck." For you, my Sexy Man. Just for you."
I felt him leave at 5:30 and he gave me a quick kiss as he left. I knew today would be really fun. It was going to be in the low to mid '90s in the valley, and at least fifteen degrees cooler at the beach at Seaside. I'd reminded everyone yesterday to bring or wear swimsuits and a towel, and the kids were excited. In spite of living within seventy-five miles of the Pacific, most hadn't been to the beach. We visited the aquarium first, and it was small but attractive and a lot of fun. It was just large enough for the attention span of this age group. That gave us two hours on the beach, with all of them running around, splashing in the surf, and the most industrious building sandcastles. The counselors organized races on the beach, and one had brought a frisbee the kids could play with. Everyone was having enough fun that getting them dried off and the sand dusted off and their regular clothes back on was a challenge. However, we had everyone on the bus by 2:30 PM.
When I showed my surprise, they all said that because it was Friday the parents wanted the kids back a little early so end of camp wouldn't infringe on the weekend. We'd all had such a good time that no one seemed to mind. It was just after 4:00 that we pulled up and the counselors had organized all their kids to go into the church hall, and Susan pulled me along saying I had to say a few final words to close the camp.
When we got inside, I found the joke was on me. Ellen and a few of the parents had decorated the church hall for a birthday party. My birthday party! Clearly the counselors with Susan and Ellen had deviously organized this celebration and laid out on a table was a giant sheet cake with candles. I'd been one of the last off the bus, so was one of the last in the church hall, and all the kids and parents started cheering as I came in. I completely surprised, and at a loss for words till I saw the devious smile on the faces of Jackson and Will, and the beaming smiles on the faces of Susan and Ellen.
I was hauled over to the cake to blow out the requisite candles and then say a few words. Mainly I said that today was more about ending a great church camp with no accidents and the apparent outcome that everyone had fun (which got a big cheer), everyone learned something (another cheer) and everyone wanted some cake (raucous cheer)! Ellen was cutting the cake while a couple of parents were pouring punch, and we proceeded to eat cake and have a good time.
Then Jackson was hitting his fork on the table and eventually the noise quieted down, and he started to say a few words. "Well campers, we're all glad you had a good time, and you need to know that it happened because Pastor Dave decided soon after he got here that we needed a church camp and got the Session to approve it (all the kids cheered). He organized most of it, with a little help here and there mainly from Miss Albridge (all the kids cheered agains and Susan blushed). Miss Albridge organized the morning sessions, and that got the day going right, and then she came along with us every day. So, here's to Miss Albridge (all the kids cheered again). We counselors had a great time with all of you. Will and Tom and I really enjoyed our groups and getting to know each of you better. So, here's to Will and Tom, because of them you know how to sing Kumbaya and Will The Circle Be Unbroken (another round of kids cheering). And thanks for being such good campers (another cheer). I want to tell you something else. Pastor Dave hopes that this church camp can help get Youth Fellowship restarted when school begins, so think about that (much quieter cheer). And finally, since this is Pastor Dave's birthday, and since he's a big music fan, and since he has a huge record collection, and since Will Summers and Tom Willis are in a band and know a lot about cool music I asked them what we could get Pastor Dave as a present from us all, and they said 'That's easy, the best popular album of the year, Fleetwood Mac's Rumors. So, Pastor Dave, if you'll come up here, we've got a new album for your collection."
I walked up to lots more cheering, and Will handed me the wrapped album. I thanked them all, told them again I was glad they had a great camp, and that they all made my birthday so special. That was about it. All of a sudden, the kids and parents started leaving as if on cue, and the church hall emptied pretty quickly. I thanked Susan and Ellen, and then took the three counselors aside and really thanked them for doing a great job all week, for being upbeat and making every day and each trip so much fun for their kids. And I thanked them for the album. I probably never would have bought it for myself, but it turned out to be one of my favorite albums, so much so that I eventually wore the vinyl out.
I had arranged with the Session to give each of the counselors a check, and that caught them completely off guard. "Wow! $25 for having a good time and getting to take free trips to cool places. What a deal," enthused Will. We all said our goodbyes, and Jackson was the last one out the door with me. "I've got to go home and see how Mom is and have dinner and stuff. I'll come to you later. It's your birthday. Plan on something special!" He wiggled his eyebrows and was gone.
I was emotionally spent after the week and drove back to parsonage and had a beer on the back porch in the shade. Then I took a nap. Then I had some supper. Then I pulled out The Symposium that I had slowly been starting to read during the week. I didn't get far before I realized I just wasn't in the mood to read, so I turned on the TV for some mindless relaxation and then went to bed early.
It was about 11:00 or so when Jackson woke me with a kiss. More specifically he was kissing my ear and sticking his tongue as far in as he could and wiggling it around. That woke me up! We hugged and he kissed me and said, "You've got to get up. I have something for you." I guess I looked at him like I was confused, and he said, "It's your birthday, Doofus!"
He'd thrown back the sheet and asked if I wanted to stay naked or put on my boxers! I was just waking up, so wasn't that clear headed, but he clearly had an agenda in mind, so I pulled on my boxers. Then he took me by the hand and led me down to the living room where he'd drawn the drapes tightly and had a single table lamp softly illuminating the room. On the coffee table was a plate with a cupcake holding one candle, and two packages. My immediate reaction was to say something like "You didn't need to do this," but fortunately I thought better of it and zipped my lip. Instead I just pulled him in for a deep kiss. He was doing something thoughtful and wonderful for me, and I needed to accept it.
He had matches with him and lit the candle on the cupcake. He held it out to me and whispered, "There's one candle because we're one!" I blew it out. He was grinning with dimples in full flare and was just totally irresistible. I blew out the candle and asked if we had to eat the cupcake now? "Nah, we can save it for breakfast. I'm betting you've brushed your teeth already too!" His eyebrows were wiggling as the grin radiated off his face. We were sitting next to each other on the couch and I grabbed him and pulled him to me and clasped him to my chest. "You're the best, Lover Boy. You are just the best."
He kissed me and said, "Now, I've got three presents for you because you're so special and because I love you and because you're my Sexy Man!" He handed me the first and I was pretty certain it was an album. Inside was Foreigner's eponymously titled first album. He said "I don't' know if you'll like it because it's hard rock, but there's one song that's amazing that at least I know you'll like the lyrics. I've figured something out in the last month. I was pretty good at being the Invisible Kid but that's over, and I guess I'm Okay at acting out anger and being a kind of smart ass, but I'm not so good at sharing how I really feel. You've told me that about yourself and why you use songs or poetry to share those feelings. I guess we've both got the same problems about that stuff. Anyway, after the usual switcheroo that you have to do with 'man' and 'woman' in the lyrics, this tells you exactly how I feel. It's called 'Feels Like The First Time.'
I would climb any mountain
Sail across the stormy sea
If that's what it takes me baby
To show how much you mean to me
And I guess that it's just the woman in you
That brings out the man in me
I know I can't help myself
You're all in the world to me
It feels like the first time
Feels like the very first time
It feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
I have waited a lifetime
Spent my time so foolishly
But now that I found you
Together we'll make history
And I know that it must be the woman in you
That brings out the man in me
I know I can't help myself
You're all my eyes can see
And it feels like the first time
Like it never did before
Feels like the first time
Like we've opened up the door
Feels like the first time
Like it never will again, never again
It feels like the first time
Feels like the very first time
It feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
Won't you open up the door
It feels like the first time
Feels like the very first time
It feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
I was moved, really moved. He'd thought this out and was giving back to me the kind of expression of feeling through music that I'd given to him. "Can I play that song for us?"
He nodded and I cued it up, and when I came back to the couch he lay down in my lap and I stroked his face and ran my fingers through his hair as the song played.
Listen to a YouTube Video of Foreigner singing Feels Like The First Time
I was pretty emotional when the song was over. This was someone using my own technique on me, someone I cared about more than anyone in my life ever, and what he was telling me through the lyrics was so deep, so substantial, so real, I was at a loss for words. Jackson saw what was happening and rescued me. "Okay, David, we're not done. There's still the second present and remember there's a total of three!"
I tried to snap out of it and be present for him. He handed me what obviously was a gift-wrapped book. I smiled and said, "I'm betting it's not a Mary Renault book because you showed those to me already." He just grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. I unwrapped it and was bowled over. The book was The Joy of Gay Sex! He was smart, he didn't say a word, just sat and watched. I flipped through the pages and saw a mix of text and elegant drawings of guys making love in various positions. While a few months ago I probably would have been scandalized, now I was appreciative. I now knew more about myself than I had then, and I also knew how much I still had to learn. And my Lover Boy was assisting in that process.
I turned to him and took his face in my hands. "You are one amazing individual, you know. This is incredibly thoughtful, especially coming on top of the Foreigner album. I understand your motivation. I have a lot to learn, and I love you all the more for wanting to help me."
He'd put his fingers on my lips. "We both have a lot to learn, and we can learn together. That's what'll make it fun!" The grin was ear to ear now. He knew he'd scored two home runs with these gifts and was happy. "Learning together. Hmm. Would that be like reading it together as in a study group, or maybe more like a lab class where you have to do experiments?"
We were both giggling now. He went on, "I like the lab class idea. That sounds outrageous, especially if I'm in the lab with my Sexy Man!" I put the book on the table and hauled him in for a deep kiss, running my hands under his T-shirt and stroking his pecs and then his belly. "Whoa Rev, don't get carried away. We haven't even started reading the book yet." We both laughed, it was just too funny!
After a minute of making out, he pulled away, sat up and said, "Okay, come with me. It's time for your third present." He took my hand, pulled me off the couch and turned off the light, then led me up the stairs to my bedroom. He told me to take off my boxers and I did. He kissed me briefly and then kissed my chest, licked my nipples, kissed my belly and kissed my cock, and after he got me stimulated then told me to get on the bed. I was having a hard time imaging what was going to happen, but he then very slowly and sensuously started pulling his T-shirt up exposing his belly, then his pecs, then he pulled it off and shook his head, hair flying, as if he'd shed something.
His fingers danced over the waist of his shorts and he undid the snap and made a thing out of lowering the zipper, and letting the shorts drop to the floor. Tonight, he wasn't wearing boxers, he was wearing white briefs. "They're the same pair I was wearing that first day, when I had on the cutoff jeans. You know, the ones I can't fit in anymore. I can barely get into these now, but I can. Do you recognize them?" He was totally flirting now, swinging his hips, with his thumbs hooked into the waist of the briefs at his hips. He slowly started stripping the briefs down, over his hips and then his butt and I was hard as a rock watching. Slowly his cock appeared and then his beautiful balls and the briefs fell away to the floor and his cock was standing proud, pointing up in the air.
"I'm your third birthday present. I love you. I want to give myself to you for your birthday."
I was flummoxed for a minute, not knowing what to say, so horny that my mind almost wasn't working. I managed to whisper, "What does that mean? I love you too. Aren't we already expressing our love for each other and to each other?"
"Yes, and I don't know how to say it, I'm not a lover pro like you say I am, I'm just figuring this all out too. But I looked at that book. I'm glad you like it, we'll both learn from it together, but it's your birthday and I'm also a gift to you. I want you to, I, I…I don't know how to say it without being gross. I don't want to say fuck, because this is love. I want you to take me. I want you to make love to me. I want you inside me. Can you understand? I love you. I want you. You talked about becoming a whole soul. Please, take me. Love me!"
I was stunned by the sincerity and the desire and literally didn't know what to say. I was silent too long, and then reached out and took his hand, pulling him to me on the bed so I could hug him to me tightly. "Jackson, I love you so much there's nothing I want more, even though I don't think I'd know where to begin. And for sure the last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings because I can feel your love and your desire, Okay? But I can't, I just can't until you're eighteen. I know it will frustrate you and maybe anger you, and you'll think it's all these moral hangups I've got. But it's not. I don't see it as moral, I see it as ethical. It's not driven by some Biblical morality or guilt about depravity or anything like that. It's driven by trying to do what's right. We've got laws to deal with, and I've probably slipped too far just doing what we've been doing since we met, but I can't go that far till you're eighteen. I just can't. Can you understand that? Can you work with me on this, help me out? Please?" I was pleading for his understanding now.
Jackson was silent. I desperately didn't want to hurt his feelings. I tipped his head up and kissed him passionately, stroking him and reaching down and grasping his now hard cock. "Don't be hurt. Don't be offended. Please. I love you so much it hurts, but I just can't do that yet. I want us to be one as much as you do. I've never wanted anything more, but I need you to be with me on this. To help me out here. To let me show my love a different way till we get to that point."
I could see in his eyes that he wasn't hurt, that he was hearing my pleading and understanding that I was grappling seriously with something within me that I had to sort out or get past. He was smiling, just barely, but somehow, I knew we were Okay.
"We're going to read that book together, and we're going to know how to do this, how to do this well so we're not fumbling around, Okay. We're going to be partners on this so when we get to that point, you'll know by the love that we make that you're the most important thing in my life."
I'd been stroking his cock, and now I whispered in his ear as I kissed it, "But in the meantime, let me try something else." I laid him flat with his head on the pillow and kissed him deeply. His tongue played with mine and his arms were around my neck, and I knew we were Okay. I kissed his neck, licking it and making it wet and sensitive, and I felt him shudder. Then I moved to his chest and licked and sucked his nipples and then started down to his belly and his beautiful pubes.
He'd been quiet so far, but I could hear his breathing deepen. I shifted around on the bed and was between his legs and kissed and licked up his thighs and licked his scrotum and I felt him shudder and writhe on the bed. His pleasure, his desire was utmost on my mind even if I couldn't let myself do what he wanted tonight. I still wanted this to be great for him. I took his scrotum in my mouth, and felt his balls with my tongue, trying to roll them around in my mouth. He groaned forcefully and I felt his fingers in my hair, dancing on my scalp. He was clearly responding to the stimulus. He was starting to gasp, so I released his scrotum and moved up and took his cock in my mouth and tried to take it all in one go. This time I didn't gag, and his gasp was almost a plaintive cry. After a couple of minutes, I worried he was getting close, so I pulled off and leaned up to see his eyes closed, his head tipped back on the pillow, his face almost wracked with pleasure as I stroked his cockhead with my fingertips. I felt him buck when I did that and thinking of what he'd previously done to me that felt so amazing, I wet my fingers tips with saliva and slid them behind his scrotum and rubbed his perineum.
I hadn't even known what it was two weeks ago, but I felt his hips rise off the bed as I stroked it and was working his cockhead with my tongue. I knew he was close now and remembered what he'd said about being clean inside and out, and without thinking found my fingers working back from his perineum to his anus and just make swirling motions over it with my fingertip. He bucked again and cried out "O my God, David. That's amazing." I was having trouble concentrating on manipulating his cock in my mouth and rubbing his anus, but managed to hold it together and then I felt him open, as if in response to a physical request, and I felt my fingertip slip just into the opening. I didn't dare go further—that was penetrative, but the image did form in my mind. I kept rubbing in circles and I went up and down on his cock and suddenly he cried "David, I'm going to cum." Then just seconds later he really cried as he pulled my head hard down on his cock and I heard "Oh, Oh….Argghhh….." a sound that became kind of a high-pitched moan as he shot in my mouth. I knew it was coming and held it all in my mouth as I slowly sucked on the head of his cock and withdrew my finger.
When I pulled off, I slid back up the bed next to him. His eyes were open, and he watched me moving up with an almost dazed look. But his eyes and lips were smiling. I hadn't been able to do to him what he wanted tonight, but knowing how he felt about mixing sperm, I opened my mouth so he could see the contents, swirled it around and swallowed it in an obvious move. Then I leaned down and kissed him as sensuously and passionately as I could. He was slow responding, he was after all somewhat wasted, but his arms went around my neck and his tongue met mine and they danced together. "You are my Sexy Man," he whispered. "You are the best. The absolute best."
We lay quietly for quite a while, whispering sweet nothings to each other, and stroking one another to share the love and assure the continued sensuous feeling. Eventually I felt his fingers dancing on my belly and slipping through my pubes and then grasping the shaft of my cock. I'd become semi-hard, and suddenly at his touch was rigid. He kissed his way down my chest and belly, and I was so hard from the anticipation I could barely bear it. He started on me by licking by cockhead, swirling his tongue around it slowly and sensuously, starting at me, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Then, to make sure I knew he remembered what I'd done to him, he dropped off my cock and started licking the inside of my thighs, eventually holding my scrotum in one had and actively licking it. Now it was me who was writing on the bed. He came back up, a devilish grin on his face, his eyes glinting, and I watched him purposefully put his index and middle finger in his mouth and get them really wet. Then he went down on my cock again.
I immediately felt his fingers glide over my perineum, but he wasn't stopping there. He slid straight across it and came to rest on my anus. He pressed a little, then started stroking it in a circling motion, all the while swirling his tongue about my cockhead. I was getting more and more excited. He could too, and slowly he started pushing his finger into me. I felt a flash of momentary panic, "my ass, what's he doing?" But then I remembered that was the old prudish response. My lover was loving me, and I relaxed, and slowly he slipped his finger in as he worked my cockhead. As he got a little deeper, I suddenly felt something so different it was almost like an electric shock, as he touched and then began stroking my prostrate. I didn't have time to think about what was happening, because within a few seconds of him starting to stroke it my hips rose off the bed and I knew I was about to climax. I was gasping for breath, and holding onto his head as I cried, "Jackson, this is unbelievable."
A few seconds later I came, crying out with the most intense groan I'd ever made. I'd never felt anything like it in my life. As he stroked my prostrate, I could feel the spurts intensify, and my anus clamped around his finger further increasing the feelings. I didn't know much about anatomy or how it worked, but what Jackson had just done was an order of magnitude over anything I'd ever considered possible.
I had to pull his head off my cock when it got too sensitive, and he slowly let his finger slip out of me, and then he crawled back up the bed and climbed on top of me. I barely registered what was happening, but I felt him kissing me and managed to respond. My arms went around him, and he snuggled into me. I may not have been inside him, but I felt like we had never been closer to being melded into one being.
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