Where Do I Fit In?

by Andrew Foote

Chapter 14

Throughout this story real organisations and real people are mentioned by name. Their place in the tale is in the author's imagination. No thoughts, words or deeds attributed to those people or organisations are real, nor have they ever happened. This is a story! It's fiction. The people and organisations, even when they interact with the characters, are presented in an entirely imagined and fictitious manner, and no discourtesy is intended to them by the author nor by the web site.

"I've never been on a long haul flight. The furthest I've ever been was Sicily and I don't remember much about that."

"Yeah well it's no great thing Andy. You'll be bored out of your mind after the first three movies and plus you'll be knackered once you get there. I promise you, the anticipation is way better than actually doing it!"

We were jogging our way to Christchurch and talking about our forthcoming break in Guam. We'd had a look on the internet and for all the world it looked fantastic.

The temperature never dropped below 28 Celsius and it was also one of the few places in the world where they actually chilled the water in the outdoor swimming pools but the downside was that everything was pretty expensive as everything had to be imported either from Australia, Japan or America but we didn't think we would spend too much of our own money, just a few tee shirts to piss all our friends off once we got back home and the odd excursion to explore the island, just about everything else was being funded by the Sports Council.

"Thanks for destroying the illusion Lucas! Like Andy, I've never taken a fight either long or short haul!" Paul interjected. "Lorain on the other hand is a seasoned flier."

"Yes but only around Europe you ass! I've never been in the air more than about three hour's tops!"

Lucas giggled at this.

"Well all I can say is get as much sleep as you can. It'll go quicker that way and you'll not feel like so much shit when you arrive the other end. Jet lag's a bitch!"

"What is the time difference and which way does it go?"

"Don't quote me but I think its nine hours difference between here and Japan and whether there's any difference between there and Guam I'm not sure. The rule is the further east you travel the further forward in time you go so if its 8am here in England, it'll be 5pm in Tokyo. It completely messes with your head and it'll take a good 24 to 48 hours to readjust. Coming back west is much easier cuz all you have to do is stay awake for as long as you can then sleep it off in one hit which you can't do when you go east as when everyone else is fast asleep in bed, you'll still be in the mood to party."

For the next few days it was a case of concentrating on our new routine rather than extensive circuit training. It was going well and Liam seemed pleased with our progress although he kept on hammering home the point that we shouldn't expect too much the first time out but for Lucas and I, we had different plans as we fully intended to give it our best shot but then Tuesday morning rolled around and we found ourselves on the train heading towards London.

It seemed odd that we had not even had the chance of competing at club level but had been thrown in at regionals to represent the County of Gloucestershire, even our Speedo's and track suits were in County colours and this had an even bigger effect on our desire to achieve.

Our accommodation was in a part of the 2012 Olympic Village near to the Aquadrome but other than essential services there was nothing by way of restaurants so all our meals would be taken elsewhere but as Liam explained, the SCGB had a list of recommended places that would provide for our diet.

Lucas and I shared a large double room while Paul and Lorain had rooms adjacent to each other. There had been a lot of talk during the run up to those games with some people openly critical of the standard of accommodation but while the rooms were fairly basic, they had everything we needed and anyhow, it was only going to be for two nights so we'd survive it!

That afternoon we walked to the diving pool which was separate from the main swimming pool and walking inside, OMG! Awe inspiring doesn't come close!

The pool was way bigger and deeper than Christchurch and looking up at the fifteen metre table, all I could say was "Fuck!"

Liam overheard me and smiled.

"Yes Andy. Fuck indeed! What I suggest you do is start with the springboards, get a feel for them and once you're both happy, work your way up through the five and ten metre tables before going to the fifteen metre one. No heroics, don't try and punch over your weight. You'll be in the air for what will seem like lifetime and lots can go wrong so please, just be sensible up there."

The springboards were standard enough as were the lower two of the three tables so we went through our routine without a problem but then it was time to go up into the Gods.

"Shit! You would think they might've installed a fucking elevator already? That was one hell of a climb!"

"Too bloody right it was! So what do you reckon? Jump or dive?"

"You are kidding right? We dive our swallow but just a straight forward one. Like the man said, no heroics!"

Like our earlier efforts all those months back, the pool below looked tiny and despite knowing how dangerous any slight miscalculation might be, we banished such thoughts from our minds.

Stepping up to the edge, it was almost as if we were back down on the five metre table, no fear, no concerns, just pure concentration, completely unaware that Liam was watching us, his fingers crossed behind his back.

The little fingers, my right to Lucas's left locked together and then the count. We launched ourselves away into the air, our timing was perfect……..two, three, four, five and a faultless entry into the water.

I think euphoric was the only way to describe how we felt as we broke surface! We both looked back up to the table we'd just dived from and it was only then we realised just how high it was and as we swam to the poolside, Liam was almost in tears.

"Oh my God! That was so very good! A simple yet graceful dive, such a pleasure to watch but I have to say I was fairly shitting myself! One mistake and you would've needed an ambulance but you did wonderfully well and I'm so very proud of you! When you're up there and me down here, there's nothing I can do to help you, you probably wouldn't even hear me so I had to leave it up to you and pray that nothing went wrong.

How did it feel?"

Lucas looked flushed.

"Business as usual until we hit the water, then……..the hugest adrenalin rush ever! Five seconds in the air! My God, what could we do with all that time? Our routine could alter dramatically!"

"Andy? How about you?"

"The same. All I can say is I want to go up again, get a better feel for it."

"Well not today you're not! I want you to go and get showered and changed and then we'll all go and get fed. Tonight there will be no training for you. Alec has something for Paul and Lorain to do but tonight I want you to grab some much needed rest then in the morning, we'll go through the routine again just to be sure it's cemented in your minds but for now I need you to be relaxed."

That evening after supper we just sat around flicking through the TV channels but as usual there was nothing on worth watching and so at just gone nine o'clock Lucas decided he was heading to bed followed pretty quickly by me. We cuddled up naked, my mind refusing sleep partly due to me not feeling tired, partly due to me feeling as randy as hell.

I whispered in Lucas's ear.

"Lucas? I want you. I'm ready and I want you to make love to me."

"I want you too, I just don't want to hurt you."

"We've already had this conversation. I know it'll hurt a bit, I'm ready for that but right now it isn't something I just want to try, I really need your love, to feel you inside me, to take my virginity. I love you and I know you love me so it's all good right?"

Lucas reached over to the bedside cabinet and picked up a small bottle of lotion.

"We take this slow and easy. You say the word and we stop okay? Here, let me put some of this in you. It'll help minimise the discomfort for both of us. You're going to be tight as hell so just promise me you'll try and relax."

He squirted some of the gel onto his fingers and massaged it over my hole before slipping a finger inside me. It felt good if a bit strange but then he repeated the operation until I was thoroughly wet there.

"Sit astride me so we're facing each other, that way you'll be in control of things and when you're ready, guide my dick so it's against your pucker, make like you're taking a dump and press yourself down on me but take it gently!"

I tried but as soon as I leaned down, my muscles contracted refusing him entry.

"Don't worry Andy. It's a very normal reaction. Your bum is a one-way street normally so this intrusion is alien to you. Try and relax down there."

I tried again but the result was the same and I started to believe it wasn't going to happen but then Lucas took a hold on my now flaccid dick and gave it a squeeze.

Oh boy, that did the trick! I instantly relaxed and the head of his dick popped inside me.

It hurt……..it hurt a lot!

"Hold still. The worst bit's over. Just try and get used to it and the pain will ease. By God you're tight! I think your ass is trying to strangle me!"

I rested and took a few deep breaths. Slowly the pain eased replaced by a feeling of fullness even though barely an inch of him had penetrated me. I took another deep breath and sank myself a bit lower experiencing a weird mixture of intense pleasure and pain.

"Take it gently Andy. Don't rush it. Do it in your own time."

Gradually the pain subsided and I cautiously lowered myself to accept his entire length. I ran my hand between my legs and felt his balls resting against my bum.

"I did it! That's all of you inside me!"

"How does it feel for you?"

"Good! Very good actually! No pain now. It's like something shifted inside me and I feel wonderfully full!"

Lucas smiled up at me.

"Good! Now I'll make you feel fantastic! Come off me and lay on your side because now I'm going to show you just how much I love you."

I did as he asked and I was surprised how disappointed I was at the feeling of emptiness but then he came up behind me and carefully eased himself back in until he was balls deep again.

"Oh God Lucas, that feels so good! Make me yours. Breed me!"

Slowly at first Lucas slipped in and out of me, the sensations he produced within me were electrifying but then he picked up the pace as he withdrew so only the tip of his cock remained inside then back in a bit further as he sought out my prostate causing me to see stars. Then he rammed himself fully inside me as he kept me on the edge of my climax.

All this was becoming too much for me. I desperately wanted to cum but his actions on my prostate drove me ever closer to finality but bottoming out inside me made those sensations ebb away.

"Please let me cum Lucas!" I whimpered. "Oh please……..this is just too much pleasure!"

He wrapped his powerful arms around me, pulled back and allowed his cock to work its magic. Closer and closer and I got to the point where I was unable to focus my thoughts on anything other than the intense feelings he had aroused within me. I wanted him deep……..no, I wanted him to massage my love button……..no deep, deep! Oh God I wanted everything all at the same time but then it happened. It was as if I was aware of every single nerve ending in my body and I almost started convulsing with the unloading of sexual tension as my orgasm screamed through me. My arse clamped down tight over Lucas's tool which toppled him over the edge.

"Oh FUCK YES ANDY!!! Oh MY GOD!!! I NEVER DREAMED THAT……..Oh bliss! Oh God I love you so much!"

We finally came down to earth, Lucas refusing to let go of me but I could feel him start to deflate inside me which at first made me feel slightly disappointed but then that changed to feelings of love and total contentment as I turned over and cuddled him close.

"That was……..amazing! I never realised anything could feel so good! Thank you, I love you so very much. Does this mean I'm going to have your baby?"

Lucas giggled.

"With the amount I came, I think you're going to have quads! That was just totally fantastic! I love making love to you!"

"Mmmm. Me too but on a more practical note, I'm starting to leak. I better go and get cleaned up."

"Ever the romantic! Go on then. We can't have the room maids changing soiled sheets!"

"How do you feel this morning? Sore?"

"No I feel okay. I thought I'd really know about what happened last night but actually I feel great.

What about you?"

"You were very tight! My dick feels as if it's been put through a mangle but I'll survive!"

"Okay then. No repeat performance tonight is what you're saying but I made a promise to you and if you want…….."

"Would you really? I mean you don't have to you know?"

"I know but you wanted to experience love not just getting fucked and I love you so yes, I want to make love to you, for you to experience what I felt from you. Honestly, it was perhaps the single most life changing thing ever. Do you want me?"

"You know I do. I want all of you."

"You can have all of me. I'm with you for ever now. I'm yours and you're mine and that's the other thing Lucas. I'm ready to come out properly now and screw the consequences."

"If that's really how you feel then I'm ready as well. I know most folk realise I'm gay, I've never made a big thing about keeping that part of my life a secret but to be able to say 'Yeah. Andy and I are an item' would be really cool!"

"Then it's settled! C'mon 'item', let's get to the pool!"

The competition went on for most of the afternoon and began with the Under 13's individual event with both boys and girls taking part.

This prompted a question from me which I put to Liam.

"How come we're not competing as Under 13's? Seems a tad unfair?"

"Yes I take your point but you're the only couple in your age group taking part so you'd be guaranteed Gold no matter how well or not you did! Yes your age is a disadvantage as is the fact that some of the older couples will perform dives beyond you scope of difficulty which is why we don't expect you to be in amongst the medals but we have plans to change all that, one of the reasons for you trying the fifteen metre table yesterday. You didn't bottle it nor were you nervous so now we're confident we can ramp things up."

Next came the senior individual event. The standard was very high which made both of us wonder what we'd be up against later.

The time seemed to drag but as the time approached for the formation event, the viewing gallery started to fill with spectators.

We were introduced to the eight other couples, the youngest of which were eighteen, the oldest twenty three and all of them seemed surprised at how young we were.

"How old did you say? Twelve and you've only been diving together for six months? Bloody-hell! Well good luck to you! Alan and I had been diving together for over a year before we even made it to County level let alone the regionals!"

The standard was high again, something I mentioned to Lucas.

"Yeah high but not that high! Just give it our all Andy and we'll be just fine."

We were the sixth couple to dive and unlike many diving events, the idea was that each couple went through their routine from start to finish before the next couple took to the boards rather than rotating around.

Our turn came. We stripped out of our trackies and handed them to Paul and Lorain before the four of us exchanged hugs and we were on our way.

Nervous? No not really. Our tried and tested methods of communication together with our ability to block outside interference held us in good stead.

The springboard routine went without a hitch, the five metre the same so now all that was left was our signature swallow off the ten metre table.

We waked to the edge of the table, looked into each other's eyes, linked our little fingers, closed our eyes and counted one……..two……..three and away.

I don't believe we could have done a better dive! Liam was ecstatic!

"I never expected……..I mean no one could've asked for more from you! God I need to get you on the fifteen, then we'll show them a thing or two!"

"Did anyone keep track of the points?"

"No Lucas, I didn't, I was too busy watching you."

He looked at Lorain and Paul.

"What about you guys?"

"No sorry. We were just mesmerised by your routine to take much notice."

"Oh well. We might as well go and get changed I guess."

Liam placed a hand on Lucas's shoulder.

"No not yet. Just get into your track suits for now. I've got a funny feeling about this."

Just then the PA system cracked into life and the head adjudicator spoke into the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Now for the placing for the formation diving event. With a possible score of fifty points, the Gold Medal goes to Alan Pargeter and Simon Hacket with a score of forty-five. The Silver Medal is awarded to Neil Grainger and Peter Osbourn with a score of forty-four and the Bronze Medal goes to Aaron Hemmings and Lance Collins with a score of forty-two points."

There was a thunderous round of applause as the medallists took to the podium but the adjudicator held up his hands for silence.

"I think you will all agree that the standard of diving was extremely high and not least from the youngest of our competitors, Lucas Carmichael and Andrew Pope. It is hard to believe that at only twelve years of age coupled with the fact they have only been diving partners for just six months they can achieve such a level of competence and ability and the only reason for them not being in amongst the medals is their lack of experience on the fifteen metre table and has nothing whatsoever to do with their performance which was as near perfect as it gets. I must also tell you that today is the first time they've actually competed at any level, not for their club, not for their county let alone a Regional Competition so I would like to ask these two youngsters to join our medal winners here on the podium"

Now I am nervous!! We both looked at Liam who pushed us in the direction of the judges. I honestly didn't think my legs would carry me that far but as we shook hands with the medallists and Judges the building exploded with the loudest round of cheering and clapping I'd ever heard.

The medals were awarded and each couple introduced to the crowd, then Lucas and I were also introduced.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Lucas Carmichael and Andrew Pope. Two young lads who I know we will be seeing a lot more of in the future!"

There were the usual photographs taken including one of Lucas and I with the Gold Medal Winners standing behind us and the Silver and Bronze winners either side of us but then people with TV cameras appeared.

We both looked down at Liam and shook our heads. No, we weren't about to steel the thunder from the winners so we quietly made our way downstairs and got changed.

Liam walked with us back towards the accommodation block. Paul and Lorain were full of conversation but Lucas and I felt a bit subdued, something not lost on Liam.

"So is it the results or the press that's got to you?"

"The press. We thought we did okay for the first time out but we're neither of us ready to cop the limelight and anyway, it wouldn't have been right. We didn't win a medal, we never expected to. We did our best is all but the winners should take all the credit, not us."

"Yes that's very true but there will come a time when you'll have to take their questions. I listened to the interviews and all of those who won praised you for your skills and how in years to come, you will be the stars, not them and the media will pick up on this and run with it. They love child protégé's and you will already have a following on Youtube and the likes.

You will also be an inspiration to other kids, you've already got proof of that in Lorain and Paul who will shortly be embarking on their own program in Basketball. Now they would never have done that without your lead, your obvious friendship and their interest in what you're doing so it follows that the more you progress, the more you succeed, the more kids will want to emulate you.

Thoughts have been voiced about setting up a website in order to highlight your achievements and progress. How do you feel about that?"

"That's scary! Look we see ourselves as just two ordinary kids. What we do is what we do. There are kids out there who are child geniuses, clever beyond all recognition, the people who might go on to save the planet but they don't get an accolade so why us? If we get to the top then our moment will be short lived then we'll be out there looking for a job like everyone else so where's the point?"

"The point is, you've missed the point Andy. Think about it. You're having a bad day but then you hear some really good news about one of your friends, read something in the newspaper that makes you feel happy. How valuable is that?

There are many millions of people out there that will never make a dent. They just get on with life, work hard, bring up a family with little money, making sacrifices for them and all the time looking for something to make them feel good. How good could it be that they read about you, listen to an interview with you two and I quote you here, 'two ordinary kids doing what they do'. How do you think that might affect them? Could it be that these hard working, tired people might take a look at their own kids and think, 'my God! Could my children be like that with the right tuition?' If nothing else it means that they take a fresh look at them, maybe become interested enough to encourage them in whatever it is that they show an aptitude for so my belief is that you're wrong Andy. Wrong to block media coverage, wrong not to allow others to be inspired by the talents you two have. Spread the word. We'll shield you and in that respect you were right not to be interviewed today. We can and will control your exposure so as to keep your lives as normal as possible but unfortunately you participate in a very dangerous sport and not only that, one that's very visual and watchable so the interest in you will be massive."

"But you said and we both know that we've only just begun the journey so why the interest already? Why don't they leave us alone until we're worthy of it like if and when we win a medal?"

"Because people like the little guy to win! Two ordinary kids from unassuming backgrounds decide rather than spend their summer holidays with their noses in computer games or watching TV, take themselves off to a swimming pool and have a tentative go at diving……..more than that, formation diving. The story to most folk is almost fictional because they get seen, assessed, considered worth investing in, trained and coached to what we see today. Two very fine athletes and worthy of that title. Do you take photos of your physical development?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"What do you see? No I'll tell you. You see a change from two young boys who were……..kind of 'average' to two young boys who are powerful and strong, well-disciplined and fit.

You've been offered a great opportunity so perhaps you should think about giving something back now. Be an inspiration to other kids, get them away from their play stations and on to the track, football field, the pool, boxing ring or whatever. We are a tiny island nation but we're so full of talent yet to be found. Help us unearth that talent and whether or not you succeed in your sport is immaterial. Right now you're role models so use that for the benefit of others."

Lucas and I looked at each other before Lucas replied.

"We never saw it like that. We just got caught up in our training, we never thought about how it might be seen from the outside. If you think it's a good idea then we'll go with it but please, no chat shows, just the odd interview for now."

"Thank you. I want to strike while the iron's hot so I'm going to see if we can sort something for early this evening before we go out for supper. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes but what about Lor and Paul? They've helped us big time and we don't feel its right that they're left out."

"They won't be. You inspired them to take up their sport so it's only right that they're featured. Trust us, we've done this before."

"So here we have them! The two rising stars of British athletics, Andy Pope and Lucas Carmichael!

I have to start by asking you both if you were disappointed not to win a medal this afternoon? For all of us watching, we thought you deserved to be there in the running?"

Lucas answered.

"No we were not disappointed, we didn't compete with any expectations of getting that far. We just wanted the opportunity to compete at that level so we could gain experience."

"But you score of forty-one was only one point off the bronze medal, what are your thoughts about that?"

Lucas and I busted up laughing!

"Really? Heads will roll! We were never told what our placing was! I think we were all too caught up with the moment to even think about it!"

"Well the fact remains, you were just a whisker away from the podium but now I'd like to ask you about your rather unusual and dare I say, quirky preparation.

There seems to be a lot of eye contact between the two of you, the touching of hands and so on. What is the reason behind it?"

My turn to answer.

"Communication. We feel a connection between us that way. Don't ask us why because we don't understand it ourselves and neither do our coaches, it just happens for us."

"No other reason then? You are close in a different way perhaps?"

"Yes of course, we have to be. We have to fully understand each other, our moods and ups and downs, body language and so on so yes, we're close on all sorts of levels."

"That wasn't what I wanted to know but……..let's leave that for now."

"No? Let's not leave it! You are gagging to ask if we're into each other, are we gay? That's what you really want to know? Well since you didn't ask, I'll tell you. I'm proud to say I love Lucas and he loves me so yes, okay, we're gay!"

"CUT!! Oh damn! We can't air that! Let's go back a step."

"Either you air that or you might just as well pack your gear and go home. We have no secrets so can we please get on with it?"

"Well if you're sure?"

The interviewer looked at Liam for confirmation. He just smiled and nodded his head.

"This is all very irregular. It's possible that my producer will cut that given your age."

Lucas went on the offensive.

"Look. That was what you were driving at wasn't it? We don't have an issue with it so why should anyone else? You obviously had your suspicions so doubtless other people will as well so we think it best to come right out with it now so it's all open and above board leaving us to get on with the business of diving without all the finger pointing and speculation. The other alternative is to adopt the same stance as Tom Daley who rightly believed that his sexuality was his business and his alone but the poor guy found himself backed into a corner where he had to come out. The pressure put upon him was enormous and that's something we don't need, we've enough to do without that."

He turned to the camera man.

"I hope that thing is still rolling chap because either this interview gets aired in its entirety or the deal's off. We legally hold the editorial rights to this and if we don't like the finished article then forget it."

You could have heard a pin drop! Lucas's outburst had put the interviewer completely off her stride and it took a few moments before she regained composure and continued.

"Well thank you both for being so candid. I don't believe there's much to be gained by pursuing that line of questioning so if I may, I'd like to know more about your training routine, dietary requirements and so forth…….."

The interview lasted for a little over an hour and fortunately, no further mention was made regarding our sexuality, concentrating instead on our sport, schooling, social life or rather the lack of it and a short interview with Liam as our instructor together with Lorain and Paul and their hopes and ambitions.

After it was all over, we all of us walked back to the accommodation block. Lucas wondered if he'd spoken out of turn.

"I'm sorry if you think I was wrong in what I said back there Liam? It was either tell it how it is or issue a flat denial and how would that look when it did all finally come out?"

"I think you handled it very well actually. She was well out of order just broaching the subject and I suspect she'll get her arse well and truly kicked as a result but there are implications for you as well as her. If when the time comes, you agree to allow that piece to be broadcast, you will have sky-rocketed yourselves into the spotlight thus increasing the pressure on you, something we'd been attempting to avoid but you were absolutely right when you said it would take away any speculation but the gay rights lobby will have a field day with it.

There are also positives, probably the biggest one is to do with other kids like yourselves who are gay, lesbian or bisexual but are scared witless about coming out. Hopefully they'll see you as role models and think to themselves 'well if they can be brave enough then so can I'. We've got time enough to worry about things like that so please, just try and stay focused. Go and get changed into something casual then we'll all go and eat. I thought Italian might be nice. Okay with you guys?"

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