The Boy from Castlebay Down
"It's uh… it's not what you think."
Leah Looked back outside into the hall landing before coming in and closing the door to the spare room I was now cowering in. I actively recorded in my mind that this was the first time I had ever been scared of a girl.
"I meant how long have you known?" she asked, quietly foaming at the mouth. "I wasn't talking about FUCKING HIM!" her voice rose to a scream. I flinched and backed up against the wall… yeah, all 6ft 4ins of me!
"Leah!! Keep your voice down!" I hissed, not wanting mum or Zoe to ask her what she was screaming about.
"It's just been a lie hasn't it… one big fucking lie! I just can't take it in, the whole time; I mean the whole time… THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!"
She started to pace the small room, messing her hair up.
"Oh my god, I've been such a fool, I've been such an idiot. Silly Leah, what a silly naive girl she's been… yeah, I bet you've had a right laugh at my expense haven't you?!"
"Leah It's not like that!"
"So tell me… tell me Corbin, what is it like, huh? Tell me why you're getting texts from another boy saying he misses you?"
"I don't know." I replied, putting my head down.
"Oh come off it Corbin, something's been going on, I'm not that thick in the head… I mean how long did you think you could get away with it?"
"Leah, I'm not getting away with anything, it just happened ok?!"
"Oh, so something has happened has it? Am I to wonder if a lot more than FISHING has been happening out on that boat?"
"So have you?"
"Have I what?"
"Have you slept with him?" she asked, her eyes wide.
"Has this happened before, I mean with other guys… how many Corbin, how many times. I just can't believe you would do this to me… with him… with fucking Troy Winters, a guy, him, that guy, Jesus fuck!" She leant her body forward before her face contorted. "When I think of the times we were having sex and all the time you were thinking about… oh my god!" she hissed, showing her teeth.
"No I wasn't, you don't understand, it wasn't like that, it's just him ok… it's just him!"
"And then there's your sister… fucking hell, all the time this has been going on poor Zoe has been making a fool out of herself with a boy who is gay! And YOU… YOU just stood by and let her do it, knowing full well you were doing the same thing?!"
"I didn't know how to stop it; I didn't know how to stop any of it, OK?" I buried my head in my hands and felt a floodgate open inside me as the tears started to fall.
"Tell me this is going to stop Corbin, tell me that you're not going to see him again."
I raised my head and looked up at her as a fresh tear rolled down my cheek. "I… I don't think I can."
Leah heaved a sob, putting her hand to her mouth and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I just sat there in a daze, not knowing what to do, how to feel, where to go! It was like I was trapped in this spider's web of anxiety that pulsed in tune with my racing heart.
My phone went off again almost as if Troy had waited until he knew I was alone again. Alone in my no win situation! I clasped it from the sheet and lit up the screen.
Troy W: R u ok?
I heaved a sob and started to text back.
Corbin: I'm not sure??? I think I just admitted to Leah I was gay!!
Troy W: I'M COMING TO GET U! FUCK!
Seeing his message sent my brain screaming at me to tell him not to, but I was done. I was done with the lies, done with the hiding… done with hiding from myself!
I came out of the bathroom after drying my tears when there was a knock at the door. Zoe appeared from her bedroom and looked up at me, wonder on her face.
"Do you propose that is father?"
I pursed my lips. "No sis, it's Troy. Listen, can you come down stairs there is something we all need to talk about… something you all need to know.
"Is everything ok?" she asked, and I felt another lump come to my throat. I just nodded and headed down the stairs by which point mum was just opening the door.
"Troy? What are you doing here, it's rather late young man."
"Hey Mrs Waite, can I come-"
"Let him in mum and go into the lounge," I said cutting him off. Troy stood there for a moment looking at my sad face as I wiped a fresh wetness from it. Mum looked back at me before stepping to the side so he could enter.
"Zoe, go and get Leah… Mum, please go into the lounge."
Both of them did as I asked with minimal fuss leaving me at the door with Troy.
Troy viewed me suspiciously. "Corbin, what are you going to do?" he whispered.
"I don't even know, I haven't got that far in my head yet, but I can't live this lie anymore!"
Troy's eyes immediately opened wide and he lurched his head forward. "Shouldn't you wait? At least until things with your dad have settled down?"
I shrugged. "I feel numb, and something tells me from experience it's better to go through something painful when you're numb. C'mon…"
I walked off down the hallway and into the lounge where mum was sitting on the sofa looking at me expectantly. Troy came in behind me and picked at one of his fingers nervously.
"Corbin, what's all this about?" she asked.
"Please mum, just wait until Leah and Zoe get down here."
"Ok, but I must say this is all rather unnerving, what are you planning, is this about your father? Because I think now it's over things are best left alone."
I shook my head. "It's not about dad, it's about me," I replied as Zoe walked into the lounge and flunked onto the sofa. Leah on the other hand immediately set eyes on Troy and screwed her face up. It was almost like she was trying to rip him apart with looks alone.
"Well, we're all here Corbin, why don't you tell everyone what's been going on," Leah blurted, making me tremble.
"Oh my god, it's not drugs is it? Please Corbin tell me you have not been taking dr-"
"I'm gay," I said, barely a whisper.
Mum paused for a moment before giving me an over the glasses look. She then surprised me by bursting out laughing. "Corbin, stop messing around. Troy, maybe I can get more sense out of you, what's been going on as Leah put it?"
"Mum, I'm gay!" I said a little louder. I caught sight of Zoe whose jaw was slowly opening, her expression slowly changing to shock.
Mum looked towards the door. "Leah?"
Leah shrugged. "Apparently he's gay, and-"
Mum put her hand up forcing Leah to stop. "No, he's not!"
"I'm gay." I said once more, even louder, hoping to God I wouldn't have to repeat myself again. I didn't have to because I'd said it too loud this time and everyone was looking at me, even Troy. All I could hear was a dull tone In my ear as silence washed the room.
"Corbin, whatever you might think you are I assure you, you are not!" Mum declared, as if it was non-negotiable.
Something about her words seemed to irritate me. I slapped my forehead with my palm. "Oh shit, you know what mum, you're right, oh what a silly mistake I've made. It's ok everyone, false alarm, Corbin is not gay after all because his mum says so!"
"Corbin!" she scolded me. "Go to your room!"
"What? No way!"
"Corbin, whatever this stunt is, it's not funny anymore."
"Jesus CHRIST! Mum, what else do I have to say? I'm gay, ok?"
"As in gay, as in I am attracted to a person of the same sex!"
Zoe coughed and shook her head. "With him?" she heaved as if putting two and two together.
Leah cupped my sister's head. "Yeah Zoe, I'm so sorry," she said. Zoe ran out of the lounge sobbing, and for me, seeing my sister cry was heart-breaking especially knowing I'd caused it.
"What does she mean, with him?" mum asked, looking at Leah and then back at Troy.
"Uh, Mrs Waite I think what Corbin has been trying to say is-"
"Troy, I don't want to hear it," mum said, raising her hand, cutting him off. "And I think it's high time we stopped all this nonsense and went to bed. Troy sweetheart, thank you for coming round, you better be getting off now back home." She started to get up.
"I'll be going too," I announced. "Since you have not listened to a word I've said I don't see a reason to be here."
"You will do as I instruct in this house young man! Now, for all this silly business you are grounded for one week… Cell phone, now!"
I rolled my eyes. "Mum, what the hell, you have never grounded me in my life, and you wait until I am 17?"
"Corbin, I'm not having a debate with you, Cell phone!"
Mum turned her focus to Troy. "Have you done this… have you made him say these things?"
"Corbin you are not gay you have a girlfriend and she's in this room. I'm not listening to this anymore."
I was just about to speak again when I saw Leah heading over towards mum. She slowly took hold of her and instantly my mother just burst into tears. Then, while facing me, my mum in her arms, Leah said something that just blew me away.
"Go, we'll talk later."
I just stood there frozen for a moment, perplexed at her calmness until Troy took hold of my wrist and pulled me towards the lounge doorway.
Outside, just after Troy had closed my front door I stumbled into the middle of the road and threw up, collapsing onto my knees. Troy rushed over to me and started to rub gentle circle motions on my back as I trembled.
"Hey, well done in there, that was brave."
"Fuck you!" I hissed, but my comment did nothing to deter him from what he was doing. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!" I reeled off, leaning back and resting on my heels. Troy used his sleeve to wipe my mouth of sick and saliva before helping me to my feet.
"Are you ok, can you walk?"
"Yeah, I'm not fucking paralysed you know!"
"Yeah I know, you just look a bit wobbly. What do you want to do? Go back to mine?"
"NO! No, not yet!" I replied quickly.
"Ok, so what then, shall we walk somewhere?"
"Take me out on to the water," I said, looking out to sea. "I wanna get away from this village for a bit; take me out on the boat."
Troy scratched his head. "Uh, well I guess we can do that. We better go to the harbour then. I'll call my dad and let him know what's happening."
I just nodded before walking ahead, my hands in my pockets. The night air was freezing but luckily I'd had enough mental capacity left to pull on a coat before I left.
"Hey dad… yeah yeah, it's sort of ok… yeah I'm with Corbin. Yeah, he's safe… look dad, Is it ok if I take the boat out for a little bit, Corbin wants to clear his head… yeah I know, yeah… yeah I will don't worry… ok dad I will, see you soon… bye, bye."
Troy caught up to me while I walked along the sea wall towards the boat yard feeling like I wanted to jump out of my skin as thoughts of tonight poked at me like a big stick.
At the back of the yard I could see one of Jerry's Trawlers moored up to the jetty that extended out behind the workshop. It gently rocked from side to side as we both climbed the small ladder. I jumped in first with Troy behind and watched as he loosened the two ropes that held us tight against the wooden structure.
"Well I must confess, I have never done a night time excursion without actually fishing," Troy remarked as he brushed by me before heading to the small bridge.
"Sorry, I… I mean you must think I'm mad, but I just need to be away for a bit."
"It's fine, anything you want, just as long as you know we will have to come back at some point and these issues may still be there."
I ran my hands down my cheeks stretching my eyes. "Fuck me what a mess!" I exclaimed, walking onto the bridge and sitting down on the seat next to Troy. He started the engine and put the vessel in reverse and we started to slowly edge backwards.
"Wanna get that door; I'll put the blowers on once it warms up."
"What? Oh, yeah sure," I replied, lost somewhere in my mind. Troy reached over and placed a hand on my lower back and gently rubbed.
"It's gonna be ok."
"Is it Troy… is it?"
"Sure it will. Your mum she… she's just had a lot to take in tonight what with your dad leaving and then you telling her… well you know."
"It's my sister I keep thinking about. She is gonna hate me. She probably thinks we have been laughing at her behind her back."
"Corbin, you know your sister better than me, but even I know she won't be thinking that. I looked at her a few times when you were trying to explain and I could see she was sort of getting it."
"Grrr, why did you lead her on? If only you had just told her from the start!"
"And then what? At the time we were spending lots of time together and I didn't wanna raise suspicions. I wasn't to know you were going to out yourself as soon as tonight did I?"
Troy threw the Trawler into the forward motion and adjusted the speed. Moments later we were weaving in and out of stationary boats that stood empty on the calm enclosed water. I watched as we approached the concrete entrance to the man-made harbour after which we passed through and Troy opened up the throttle.
"Where do you wanna go?" he asked, continuing directly away from land.
"Just take me anywhere as long as by the time we get there Castlebay is just a blurry outline on the horizon. What is this piece of water anyway?"
"The English Channel mostly, but if we head west we'll come out into the Atlantic Ocean,"
"Meh, just get to that then," I said, thinking it was like 5 minutes away.
Troy laughed. "Aww, that's kinda sweet, but we'll be in the channel for a long time before we get out there," he remarked. "Hey, if you pull that flap down you'll find some bottled water. Help yourself if you're thirsty."
I looked up at him seeing a side portrait of his beautiful face as he concentrated on the route ahead. Leaning over I pressed my lips against his, putting my tongue in before pulling away.
"What was that for?" he asked, turning to face me.
I shrugged. "I needed it, even if you didn't."
Troy smiled revealing his ice white teeth, the act making me fall under his spell a little more.
"Corbin? Corbin, wake up…"
"Huh… what?" I said groggily pulling my head forward. "Where are we… did I fall asleep?"
"You looked exhausted, and as to where we are I just stopped short of the tanker lanes. As you'll see, if you look to the rear we are well out of Castlebay waters.
I rubbed my eyes and stood up. "Hmm, sorry I didn't intend dozing off like that. Its engines, they seem to do that to me."
"Engines… what, the fumes or something?"
I scoffed. "No, I mean the rhythmic whir, I'm the same in a car or on a plane… I'm just out, like a light, sometimes I don't even have to be tired."
"Well I must admit you looked mighty cute with you head tilted back there. A few times I had the urge to kiss those soft lips, but I didn't wanna wake you. I guessed whatever sleep you got right now would be beneficial to you."
Troy left the engine idling so that we could continue to enjoy the warm air that was now spewing out of the vents. I felt somewhat content, just me and Troy, warm, under an ocean of stars with a half-moon providing just enough light to make out a few colossal ships crossing out in the distance. The night was clear, crisp and quiet as we sat looking out into the abyss.
"So you like tall guys?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Huh? Where did that question come from?" Troy asked back, frowning.
"Dunno, I was just thinking for some reason, you know, about Billy Saunders? You said he was really tall, and well, I guess I'm quite tall myself and it got me wondering if you liked tall guys."
I could have sworn Troy was starting to blush, but with the darkness turning everything monochrome, I couldn't be certain.
"Erm, well yeah I do, but they have to be a certain kind of tall," he replied cryptically.
"You wanna elaborate?" I asked, sniggering.
Troy sighed. "I can't believe I'm telling… Ok, so there are tall guys who are lanky and skinny. You know the ones, chests like a pigeon and skinny legs?"
"Exactly!" he said, clicking his fingers at me. "Well that kind of tall I don't like."
Troy seemed to stare off into the distance for a moment.
"There was this kid I knew at school, you know, before Billy and all. Joe his name was. He wasn't particularly my friend, rather just someone I knew. Anyway I met him when I started in year 8 secondary school; I had just arrived from Austin so we must have both been 12 years old. There was this period when we both hit 14 where I could have sworn he was growing an inch taller each week." Troy chuckled. "By 15 he was getting on for 6ft tall and one of the tallest people in our school. He was always selected for the physical sports like football and rugby and I remember just watching him run about drooling over how well built he was."
"Did he know you were…"
"Oh shit no, no one did at that point. Anyway, I think his parents were rich or something because he always wore the latest fashions and wore them well. That's the thing when you buy expensive clothes they always seem to fit the body better, and his clothes were no exception. There was this one time at the end of the school year when a disco dance thing was put on for all the kids who were 15 and 16. He turned up in these tight Armani jeans and red tank top, both of which left nothing to the imagination depending where you happened to be looking of course. But it was his ass mostly which I couldn't help but stare at, it was… it was just fucking amazing!" Troy shook his head. "He was just perfect… everything was perfect and I knew from the moment I saw him at that disco dance that I was attracted to tall guys. Funny really."
"So what is it about me then? I feel like I don't come close to his AMAZING attributes," I said, before laughing.
"Oh don't worry you do. For a start you have a beautiful face, lovely brown eyes that say so much when you're in that thinking pose you do. Your ears are small and nicely shaped and you have a cute nose."
"Well that's my face… go on, I'm enjoying this."
"Well I must admit, when you were at my place stripped down in my bed I did run my eyes over most of your body."
"Hey, that's not fair, I was unconscious!" I said, punching him on the arm.
"I didn't take advantage, I never touched you, I'm telling the truth there, but yeah I confess, I looked… I mean who wouldn't look if they liked someone."
"Ok, so what did you find on your scouting mission of my naked flesh."
"Well, I love the legs, they looked strong and had meat round the ankles… I hate skinny ankles. Hmm, I noticed you don't have a six pack but it's flat none the less, and that can sometimes work better than too much of that washboard look. Oh and your furry stomach, that drove me to distraction, now that I did like!"
"Ok enough now, you're making me feel like a lab rat!" I said, giggling.
Troy viewed me seriously for a moment. "But most of all, I love what's in there!" He said, pressing his hand against my breastbone.
I smiled. "I missed you. I missed this… just being with you, and I'm scared of the day it will end."
"Who says it has to end, Corbin, I feel…"
"Yeah I feel the same. But at least we have now...right?" I asked looking out ahead.
"Corbin, look at me!" I did as he asked, slowly turning my head to face him. "This WILL be ok, understand. If you really want this, then I will move heaven and earth to be with you, I just need to know if you REALLY want this."
I frowned. "I thought the little confession to my mum, sister and girlfriend went someway to proving how much I want this."
"So, she's still your girlfriend?"
I huffed. "You know what I mean!"
"Do I? You know as I sit here wondering, I am caught by the fact you are still officially with her."
I creased my face up. "Have you ever had to go through this? Have you ever had to end a relationship?"
"Well, no, but…"
"So don't tell me how this is supposed to go Troy. It's not as easy as it probably looks from your angle."
"Hey, play fair! I never said it was easy. I'm just thinking of you. The longer you leave it the worse it will become."
"Are you thinking of me, really? If you were thinking of me you wouldn't have gone off in a sulk when I told you on the phone I was going to have to stay at home. IF you had allowed me to get on with that instead of making me feel so guilty I probably would have told her it was over by now."
"I get it ok? But you don't know how hard I have been working to stay committed to this!"
Before I could ask him what he meant by that, he kissed me deeply on the lips, and I found myself lost in his embrace. Our eyes gently closed, our tongues making their way inside each other's mouth. It was a contact I craved so intensely as my hands travelled slowly down towards his ass...we fell into a blissful silence, talking done for now. His hands stopped at my belt, and I felt him unbuckling it as I began to shudder with anticipation. He unfastened the top button, unzipped my jeans, all while I toed my sneakers off, keeping our lips connected. As soon as I felt my pants drop down to puddle at my feet, he grabbed two big handfuls of my butt and squeezed making me squirm and tense up. Then he moved them round and I whimpered loudly as taking me by surprise he plunged his hand into my loose CK boxer trunks and squeezed on my pulsating penis that had quickly come to attention. I pulled away from our kiss needing to expel some words.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuk," I groaned out as he pulled back on the skin of my penis letting the head reveal itself.
"You like that huh?"
Uh huh." I replied, dreamily, feeling excited that he was excited.
"Wish I had one of those," he remarked, pulling on my foreskin.
As I sat there spellbound by his tactile movements on my body with his hands, he dropped to his knees and ripped down my white underwear. Such was the force I heard them tear as they were forced down my muscly legs. But instead of being pissed off an expensive pair of slips were being wrecked, the noise just went to intensify the eroticism of what he was doing.
I looked down at him admiring my meat which stood thick and rigid. He licked his lips and smiled before pulling hard on my loose low hanging balls, relaxed due to the heat inside the boat.
Then it happened!
In an act that almost made me blow all over him he assaulted my dick with his mouth, plunging me deep into the recesses of his throat. I audibly cried out in pleasure as his pink plump lips glided up my shaft until his nose was being tickled with my black pubic hair. He then pulled back again until only the head remained in his mouth. Again he pulled down tightly on my nut sack.
"Oh fuck keep doing that… just keep doing that," I pleaded as he ran circular motions around the tip of my cock with his tongue. I gripped his soft jet black hair and massaged his scalp giving gentle encouragement as I felt an express wave of pleasure approaching.
Then… he stopped!
"Wow… any longer and I would have gone!"
"Hence why I pulled away, I could feel you inflating in there," Troy said playfully referring to my dick.
As my knees quivered and chills ran all over my body Troy stood up and once again we fell into a passionate kiss. I felt so in tune with him, never having felt like that with anyone before. His soft lips, his hair, his shoulders, strong and moulded, him, he, us, this… I just wanted it to go on and on and on and on and on!
"Fuck I want you," I said, almost embarrassing myself if not for the passion I was feeling.
"Lead the way," he said, pulling up the hatch that led to the lower deck of the boat. I quickly pulled up my jeans and scrambled down towards the bed that I'd found myself on before, albeit in different circumstances.
As I sat down Troy flew at me and we entangled ourselves into a twisted ball of limbs trying to touch, lick, caress and kiss as much as what was possible. I grabbed hold of the waistband on Troy's track bottoms and started to pull them down, first the left side, then the right. He was whimpering in my ear, as the anticipation of what was to come rang out in his mind. Eventually I got them off and he kicked them across the deck. Next came his sports sweater and T-shirt which I pulled over his head in one flowing act. What was revealed stunned me as for the first time I got a look at his complete upper body. It was still mildly tanned from the summer just gone, tight, smooth and compact, his skin blemish free. His nipples were extra dark and feeling out of control I licked one of them as if to satisfy an urge. Troy sighed as I made contact and squeezed his cock through the material of his red Hugo Boss trunks.
"You know… for… for a sort of straight guy, you certainly know what buttons to push," he panted before I dived into his face with my lips again.
"Just… unleashing… all… this built up passion that's been lying dormant for so long."
Troy started to take my jeans off again, this time easier seeing as I had no shoes on. Pushing his hand down my trunks again he ran the top of his thumb over my glistening head making me almost hit the ceiling in pleasure.
"Whoa, steady, I am not far away!" I said, as he pulled down my underwear. I was busy trying to get inside his boxers dying in anticipation to see what my prize was. From the outside he looked quite impressive judging by the long pole that was pushing against his waistband. Eventually I succeeded and out came a rigid straight dick. Typical of Americans he was cut, but that showed off a perfect mushroom shaped head that was perfectly in line with the rest of his shaft. The slit glistened in the dim lights that were bolted to the wall. Then In a moment of passion and totally not what I expected I would want to do, I pushed my head down and slurped on his dick, tasting his sweet clear juice on my tongue. Troy's breathing hitched as my wet lips made contact with his glands and I smiled at what my actions could do to him.
"Wow, now that I lik-"
I bolted up. "FUCK… what is THAT?" I cried as we lay entangled on the bed.
"Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIIIITTT!"
"We must have drifted… FUCK, C'mon!"
Troy fell off the bed as he tried clamber for his track bottoms. I was frantically trying to find the leg hole to one of my jeans but it was inside out. He finally pulled them up and I found the hole to my leg. I watched Troy run for the ladder and up he went. I was close behind, so close in fact he almost kicked me in the head with his foot. As I got out and up on to the Bridge all I was saw was Troy yank the throttle leaver down violently which flooded the boat in Diesel smoke as the engine roared at full power.
Moments later I turned round ready to breathe a sigh of relief but almost fell over instead when mere metres away, floating towards us was a tanker that was the size of…
It was big!
"MOOOOVE!" Troy screamed at his boat as we started to edge backwards. My eyes were going wider and wider as the colossal ship got closer and closer.
"We're not gonna make it are we?
"Nope!" Troy replied, a little too fucking honest.
I closed my eyes and crouched down while Troy held the lever down with almost all his weight as if it was making a difference to the speed of the engine.
"Hold on!" he cried as the bow of the tanker was now just 10 or so metres away from us. Then in a moment of absolute precision Troy spun the wheel of the trawler around hard to starboard and slowly with our momentum increasing he maneuvered the front of us around the front of the tanker bringing us parallel and averting near death.
I looked up at the towering metal box as it purred past us seeing a group of men leaning over the side.
"HEY, ARE YOU GUYS OK?" one of the men shouted down.
Troy walked out onto the main deck. "YEAH, SORRY ABOUT THAT, WE LOST ENGINE POWER, I JUST GOT IT FIXED."
"OK, I'LL LET OUR CAPTAIN KNOW, GODSPEED."
"Fuck that was close," Troy said, shaking his head as we were now a safe distance away from the tanker.
"What was that about engine failure?"
"Because we're supposed to stay out of these lanes. If the captain calls the coast guard my dad could be in a lot of shit for causing an accident, not to mention me as the skipper."
"Damn, I'm sorry, this is my fault, I should have never asked you to come out here."
Troy let out a long sigh as if finally recovering from his near miss with the freighter. "Its fine, it was me who brought us out, I just thought I was well within the safe zone. Jesus, the things you do for love!" he said, smirking. I giggled before noticing my underwear hanging out the bottom of my jeans.
'Glad they didn't see that!' I thought, as Troy walked back onto the bridge starting to head us home. I think we were both in silent agreement that our little episode of passion would have to wait for another day with reality setting back in instead.
Yep, it suddenly dawned on me, I'd come out tonight!
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