Born of Necessity

by Michael Sargeant

Robby Owen had a dream. He was sitting in Eighth Grade English Composition class with three compositions, neatly folded, lengthwise, on his desk. There must have been some significance in that, he did not know. He could not remember the compositions' contents, he knew only that he must read that one, the thick two pager, typed small, written in a style he'd never used before. Several classmates droned on and Robby shifted perspective in his dream, drifting in and out of other's tales.

Mr. Atkins was calling for volunteers. Robby's hand went up along with many others. Were they so confident of their work and presentation, or did they wish to get it over with, as Robby knew he must.

He willed Mr. Atkins to see through the forest of arms to his, to call out 'Robby Owen'. Why did he have to use his full name? It sounded so accusative, as if Mr. Atkins knew somehow the difficulty of doing this. Still, Robby was nothing if not the actor. He arose, selected the middle of the three lengthwise folded paper packets on his desk, and began talking as he approached the front of the room. One of Robby's techniques to gain attention, he knew the value of pause and of long silences for emphasis too.

He heard himself doing something he usually did not do, making an explanation, almost a supplication, regarding the peculiar style he'd chosen to write the composition.

'I wanted to explore a narrative filled with symbolism, replete with flowery language, something pretty.' There were titters, and several macho bodies shifted uncomfortably in their seats. The girls were undecided, but attentive.

As encouragement, Mr. Atkins said 'Sounds interesting, please begin.'

Robby nodded.

'Shamus Cooper had a problem. Summer was upon him. Green had arrived in a profusion of shades. It was hot, and still cool. Wet yet did not rain. Shanks wheeled and soared... '

'Name some,' Mr. Atkins interrupted.

Not sure himself in his dream, Robby said, 'Well there was Hanna, and Buck,' Robby was trying to recall old deep-South names but couldn't. Perhaps he'd meant swifts, or swallows he was thinking as he threw out another, now unrecalled name, 'but mostly Hank', he concluded, hoping he'd satisfied the request.

Robby wanted to make the words flow as they had when he'd committed them to paper, but he found that he could not maintain continuity of thought, or even theme. The presentation became halted, increasingly disconnected. Robby could no longer proceed.

In the half twilight between dream and waking state Robby grasped the reason. Of course! How can one read something that must be composed of bits and pieces of yesterday, running through the filter of the mind to be committed to permanent memory, or discarded? How can one place the words on the page of dreams to be available when needed in the future of that dream? They had yet to be composed. It satisfied the sense of failure lingering from his dream. Now fully awake, Robby had the benefit of conscious direction. Dream had become reality. First week back at school, this would be the day.

* * *

"Yes, Shamus Cooper had a problem," he repeated, setting aside the paper from which the opening statement came. Pacing for emphasis, resting his gaze upon classmates for just the right personal contact, Robby knew he'd set the stage, captured his audience. There was a story to be told. Different from any he'd ever voiced.

"His problem was that he was born a hermaphrodite." There were a few gasps, a lot of quizzical looks. Robby let his story explain.

"Shamus was born with male and female sex organs." There were titters and a general swapping of risqué comments.

"Settle down people", Mr. Atkins instructed. At least he'd not cut Robby off.

Encouraged, Robby continued, emboldened by a growing sense of power over his audience, himself and Mr. Atkins.

"His parents were understanding enough to make no immediate fuss of the 'sew it up or cut it off' kind. They adopted a wait and see attitude." There were a few chuckles as the graphic image emerged.

Robby couldn't believe Mr. Atkins had not cut him off at that point.

"So Shamus was raised as a boy. From all outward appearances he was male. Yet within, Shamus wasn't sure. He liked girl things, though he gave acceptably male interpretations to their use. Clothing was a large issue. Shamus cared not for the harsh, abbreviated boy's wear. He was fortunate in that his Mom understood when he picked out boyish blouses from the girl's rack at Penny's, or slung a flower covered shoulder bag over his back filled with the paraphernalia of school, or preferred the company of girls long before it became fashionable at puberty. Shamus had entered that phase of life last summer. Wait and see had paid off. Shamus was developing breasts."

General laughter broke out requiring severe looks from Mr. Atkins before a hushed quietness returned to the room.

"A series of X-rays had been taken. 'From all indications Shamus is capable of impregnating himself,' the doctor concluded."

As the full import of that revelation fell upon the class, mouths gaped and whispered comments containing the phrase 'fuck himself' rippled about the room before Mr. Atkins regained control.

"Robby," Mr. Atkins cautioned, "is there some redeeming social significance to this story, or are you making up a tale for shock value hoping for a passing grade?" He'd noticed Robby was not referring to notes.

"I'm... I'm trying to tell you all something by presenting it as a story."

"Very well Robby, you may continue. But if this continues to delve deeper into certain regions," there were more titters as Mr. Atkins realized how he'd put it, "I'll have to end this presentation."

Robby nodded then turned to the class.

"Wisely Shamus' parents had removed their... son/daughter... from further medical scrutiny. At home, Dad was talking to Mom. 'But now that it's beginning to show, a new decision needs to be made. Will he... continue to live as a male, or will he choose to become female? Will he have the urgings and interests of a boy toward girls, or a girl toward boys, or both?"

A low murmur swept the class and many heads nodded as the dilemma became apparent. Even Mr. Atkins wished to hear this problem out.

"Shamus' Mom observed, 'Well Shamus has always tended toward the feminine in appearance and would probably lean more so if we had not exercised a certain restraint upon his mannerisms.' Dad nodded. Shamus had been silent during these exchanges. 'I suppose it's up to him. That's why we adopted the 'wait and see' approach when he was born. He's old enough now to understand the lifelong implications of his decision. It is unfortunate that society does not recognize that there are many inter-gender people who must face this decision. Society must make allowances for a third gender and establish socially acceptable norms that all may feel comfortable with. Now breast and body shape have brought Shamus to the moment of decision.'"

Robby paused for effect. He could have used a glass of water at this point. The allotted time for presentations had ended some minutes before. It was time for the story to become personal.

He continued. "Even Robby's name had been chosen to avoid leading the child in one inescapable direction. His parents would use 'Robin' only when discipline was due. The summer months had transformed their child from a Robby-boy to a Robin-girl. 'I think it is time to make a choice Rob,' said Dad."

The class was attentive to Mr. Atkins comments on the skillful means Rob had used to build suspense. Caught up in the outcome, especially as Robby's name so aptly fit the tale, Mr. A. wondered what had become of 'Shamus'.

Robin Owen drew near the class to increase the suspense, gain attention and heighten the intimacy of the story.

"Until today," Robin spoke in a voice that had become higher pitched as he switched to the first person singular pronoun, "I've more or less pretended to be a boy though I have some female traits like hair length, dress and behavior." Robin was unzipping the light jacket he'd been wearing. "Now I've decided that I will no longer hide the Robin inside the Robby."

There were some low whistles as Robin's tight sweater revealed the outline and flow of small firm breasts. Mr. Atkins was behind Robin leaning in a corner where he could better view class behavior and missed the cause of the whistles. When Robin turned to lay his jacket across Mr. Atkins's desk, the teacher was faced with either the most imaginative presentation in his sixteen years in the English department or...

"From this moment legally and physically I am a girl," said Robin as she kicked off loose track shoes to reveal slim black girl's school shoes over white ankle socks and unbuckled baggy male jeans, letting them slip to the floor before Mr. Atkins could prevent the show-and-tell furor developing.

While Robin Owen was kicking away the jeans and smoothing down her skirt, a flash of white cotton panties and a pair of very feminine legs elicited admiration and appreciative comments.

"Please accept me for who I am, for who I have chosen to be."

While Mr. Atkins moved forward to take control, a hush came over the room as Robin's tears rolled gently down her face. "I'm not a freak, a girl with a penis to be fantasized over. Many girls have vestiges of a penis, mine simple works better than... "

"Thank you Robby," Mr. Atkins said hurriedly, more than a little concerned for him. "The content of your presentation has gone as far as I feel the school board would allow. There may be repercussions when word gets around. Now if you will please get dressed," there was laughter from some in the room, "I think we need to bring this matter to the immediate attention of the principal."

"I am dressed, sir. And please call me Robin." There were many chuckles at that retort.

There was a moment's hesitation as Mr. Atkins pondered a deeper meaning within the presentation. He did look like a girl, and a rather pretty one at that as he felt a little stir of attraction in the sudden transition. He immediately dismissed the thought. 'Just an imaginative attention-getting presentation, nothing more,' he told himself. Surely the class was not taken in, he'd look the fool if he appeared to be. He could imagine the jokes, from students and faculty, 'Fell for it, sweater, bra and skirt.' 'Couldn't take his eyes off of... him.' followed by peals of laughter.

Mr. Atkins pondered the further implications of bringing this to the principal's attention. Even so, I should report it just to be protected from the repercussions of a rather unusual and risqué fashion show that was bound to be all over school and neighborhood about one minute after bell.

"Then pick up your clothes and follow me," he ordered. The class broke into peals of laughter as Mr. Atkins realized what he'd said. Fortunately the bell rang. The class rose as a body and the halls were awash with curiosity seekers wondering what comedy had played out in 113C, eighth grade English.

Unable to avoid exposure in the hall or as the next class filed in, Mr. Atkins beckoned Robin Owen to follow. There were no glances in the hall. Robin's transition was complete. She was just a new girl being introduced to the principal.

The principal listened attentively to Mr. Atkins's delicate summary of a most unusual presentation, shooting frequent glances at Robin who had not quite mastered the art of modest feminine seated posture. Distraction aside, he pondered parental involvement that could make the whole affair of an imaginative eighth grader's presentation an embarrassment throughout the system. Parents could be most unappreciative of the tribulations of a principal's life.

He considered obtaining a report from the school nurse regarding the truth of Robin's claims but dropped it immediately. There could be legal problems, even with Robby/Robin's permission, to exposing a child to the attentions of a school nurse, one he knew hired well below starting salary due to certain questions about her qualifications as a registered nurse. Certainly no other faculty member was about to make the determination. He must have had the usual boy's equipment else he'd have heard the uproar in last year's gym class, but what of the usual girl's equipment?

He was determined to get to the bottom of the matter, to learn whether this was an elaborate class presentation prank or... the most bizarre coming out he'd ever encountered.

"Well Robby, or Robin, I'm sending you home for the rest of the day while I sort this out. I'll make no record of the matter at this time. I need to think further on it. Under district guidelines you are entitled to wear such clothing as you choose as long as it doesn't disrupt class proceedings. You may not purposely embarrass others or challenge them to accept such attire themselves. Meanwhile Mr. Atkins I think your next class awaits you."

He turned to his intercom. "Ms Kennedy, please have the vice principal come to my office... no wait, cancel that, ask the school nurse to report to me immediately." He'd realized the implications of Mr. Stone's driving a 'female' student home unaccompanied. The school nurse, a woman, appeared the wisest choice. In the end, a school bus was called to drive Robin home, the school nurse being in a car pool and without her car that day.

"And Robby if you can, wear something more neutral to class tomorrow to help us adjust to this change gradually."

As he watched Robin Owen hoist herself awkwardly aboard the bus, he felt assured that Robby Owen, blue-jeaned and light-jacketed would return tomorrow.

* * *

Students were on their phones moments after drop off. Kenny was Robby's best friend. He be over 'soonest.' He'd been in class that day and wanted to congratulate Robby on the greatest scam ever perpetrated by the eighth grade against the faculty of Lincoln Middle School.

When Robin opened the door she was wearing a tank top and shorts. There was little left to the imagination as Kenny surveyed his friend. "Jeeze Robby you've got me convinced," he said on the way to the Owen household refrigerator. Kenny had seen Robby naked at several swimming events. There was no doubt in Kenny's mind. Robby was rather well hung. So his breasts were getting large, probably exercise, all that swimming. Kenny was not particularly interested in breasts. Robby's penis was the attraction though he'd never let on, only peeking surreptitiously.

"So how'd you come up with this one Robby," Kenny probed.

"Robin," she corrected.

"Okay Robin, where'd you get the idea, and the clothes?"

"The idea came of necessity, the clothes from my closet," Robin said quietly, her voice soft, her eyes slightly downcast.

"Jeeze you do that good," said Kenny.

Robin rose and opened the sliding door to her closet.

Kenny glanced then stared. Half the closet was filled with girl's clothes some a little small now but still kept for sentimental reasons.

"Okay, so why do you dress up in girl's clothes. I mean I've seen you in some girly clothes but never this," and he waved his arm first at the closet then at her.

"Kenny I think I explained it as well as Mr. Atkins would let me in class today. I've developed into a girl and have made a decision to be one from now on."

Kenny cocked his head to one side. He was getting excited at the prospect of being alone in a girl's room and was increasingly conscious of the boy under that girlish exterior. He was also becoming very confused.

"Robin... " he wasn't as sure of the Robby any more. "Okay, prove it." He immediately became aroused at the prospect of what he'd just asked. He'd be thrilled if Robby exposed himself, to see Robin was a heart-stopper.

Robin had though about this moment often. Not just proving it but revealing herself to a boy. The tug and pull of divergent sexual emotions was strong. She lifted her tank top, reached behind and unsnapped her bra. As she raised her bra she met Kenny's eyes. He was attracted despite his usual indifference to a girl's breasts.

Robin replaced the bra and pulled down her top.

Kenny was silent for a moment. He felt a deepening bond with his best friend after what Robin had shown him.

"And you really do have a... " he was going to say 'pussy' but a new relationship was forming and it involved perhaps some distance, some respect and some gathering power he/she was having over him... "vagina to go with that?" then quickly said, "Ah, Robin, you don't have to prove that one."

"I think I do," Robin said quietly. "I need one person to know that I am a girl, someone close and special. I'd like it if you were that person."

Kenny swallowed hard. Robin had unzipped her shorts and let them drop to the floor. The shape of her penis was obvious in her white cotton panties. Kenny had seen Robby in his briefs before. The panties made the bulge larger. He gulped again and began to become very aroused.

Robin slid her panties down. "Have a look," she offered.

Kenny was motionless. The object of many a thought before him, he froze.

Robin took Kenny's hand and placed it on her penis. "Under there," she said softly.

Kenny's hand shook as he felt Robin's penis.

"It's not queer to do that," Robin said, "I'm more girl than boy."

Kenny gently raised Robin's penis and lowered his view. There, centered under Robin's scrotum and dividing it, was a slit, the lower part of which Kenny recognized from pictures as a vagina. "But where's your clit," Kenny said in amazement.

"You're holding it Kenny," Robin said.

Now that Kenny studied Robin's penis, it did look slightly different from his. The head was more exposed for an un-circumcised penis, as he knew from his own.

Kenny was fascinated, and emboldened with curiosity. "Does it pee?" He could never remember Robby taking a leak in the boy's room urinals. He always used a stall. He'd never seen Robby pee when they were out together. But that was not unusual. He would not have peed in front of Robby. Still there was that time he saw Robby through the bushes squatting and thought he was taking a dump.

"It does, and to answer your next question, it... " and she indicated her penis, "... doesn't."

Kenny was pensive, then asked, "Is it... I mean does it... go in? I mean your vagina."

"Put your finger there and see," Robin suggested.

Kenny's awareness was acute as he felt the soft moistness of Robin's vagina flow around his finger.

Robin gasped slightly at Kenny's touch. She'd often wondered how she'd respond. It was with all the pleasure she'd experienced at her own touch.

"Kenny!" she gasped.

"Sorry," Kenny said quickly as he withdrew.

"No, that's not what I meant. I... liked it."

"So did I," said Kenny enthusiastically. "I've often thought about touching you."

"You have? But you never knew I was a girl," Robin said.

"I never thought of touching you as a girl," Kenny replied looking up at her.

"In what way then."

"As Robby. Like this," and Kenny gripped Robin's penis and started to slide his hand up and down.

Robin started slightly then said, "How strange. I never thought of doing anything queer."

Kenny stopped rubbing. "I didn't mean to offend you. I wanted to do it so much and you were so... close... and I wanted to show you rather than tell you."

Robin's penis was getting erect in Kenny's grip. "Don't stop Kenny. From a girl's point of view it's not queer at all. 'Sides, it feels good. I don't have as much feeling below though your finger felt nice."

Kenny resumed rubbing. "I like you as a girl, and I definitely like you as a boy, especially with girl's clothes on," he confessed.

Robin's breath was coming in short gasps. "Kenny, you'd better stop, you're going to make me squirt all over you."

"It's okay," Kenny comforted. He guided Robin back onto her bed and placed his mouth around Robin's penis.

Robin let out a couple of 'ohs' then came, pushing gently into Kenny's mouth.

Kenny and Robin were silent for several minutes as they caught up with the suddenness of events.

"I could get pregnant," Robin said quietly.

"But I didn't... "

"I mean from me," she said. "The doctor said it's possible though he advised against it because it's unknown how the baby might turn out. I always have to clean up real careful."

"Oh Robin," Kenny said, feeling a new intimacy and tenderness for her, "you've been dealing with this whole thing by yourself for quite a while haven't you?"

"I decided to make the change in class and let people catch on gradually that I was telling my own story. My parents wanted to inform the school first but I said we couldn't notify the whole world every time I went into a new situation. When I go into a new situation as Robin, explanations won't be necessary."

Kenny looked at her with his head to one side. "Which restroom will you use?"

"It will have to be the girl's, with a chaperone to keep it clear while I'm in there. They figure I could still fuck a girl," she said contemptuously.

"Do you want to?" asked Kenny.

"Never been attracted. After what you did I'd like to be fucked and jacked off. The doctor said I could marry a man and get pregnant by him. Or I could live with a woman and get her pregnant."

"Jeeze, it's like you've had to plan your life out way in advance. I haven't even thought about having a girl friend yet."

Robin looked at him and grinned. "I think you've got one," she said.

* * *

"Hi Mrs. Owen, Mr. Owen. Bye Mr. Owen. Mrs. Owen." Kenny slipped out and closed the screen door. The three were silent for a moment.

"Well, Robin. How'd it go? Tell us all about it."

"Well, no calls. Nobody came over to beat me for being gay or a freak. The school thinks it was just an unusual presentation and that I'll be back as Robby tomorrow. In fact they seemed to insist upon it."

"We covered that eventuality this afternoon," said Dad. "The school has your new birth certificate notifying them of your legal gender change. You are now Robin Michel Owen. You will be exempt from gym but will attend any female oriented classes such as Home Economics and Feminine Hygiene. Oh, the principal asked us to pass on to you how to sit in a skirt."

Mom was thinking of Kenny's rapid departure. He usually stuck around to take offers of pre-supper snacks. "You're lucky in a way," she mused giving Robin a false suspicious glance. "You can have a girl friend... or a boy friend."

"And as a girl," Dad picked up on where this was going, "you must learn to exercise the usual caution around the boy friend," and he inclined his head in the direction of Kenny's departure. "Does he have all the details? I mean is he convinced? Well you know what I mean. Did you prove it?"

Robin was silent for several seconds.

"I'll take that as a yes," Dad said. "Thought he left in rather a hurry. You didn't... "

"No Dad, we didn't, it's been a busy day."

"You mean you considered it?"

"Well after this afternoon, yes. It was a boy in a girl's room situation."

"Well," began Mom, "we've covered the pregnancy issue from both sides. You know where the condoms are. Let us know if they're getting low. I've got to start supper. Kenny's still welcome as before. It'll just be a slightly different relationship that's all."

* * *

A slightly different relationship was hardly the word for it. Dead silence greeted Robin Michel Owen as she boarded the bus next morning clad in light sweater over white blouse tucked into a flair skirt. 'It was true' hung heavily in the air.

Though she'd thought of how to deal with many new situations, she'd not worked out whom to sit next to on the bus. Boy or girl, he or she might object to being associated with a guy in girl's clothes as anathema to his or her image. Fortunately, the devious teenage mind had worked this through and there was a plentitude of unoccupied bench seats available. The kids were practically sitting on each other's laps, three to a seat, to avoid the association.

Kenny got on at the next stop and plunked down confidently next to Robin. 'After yesterday, he couldn't be overly concerned about conventional masculine image,' Robin reasoned.

"Still it feels kinda strange, you going from my boyfriend to my girlfriend overnight only everyone know what you've got and there'll be talk I suppose as to which I'm after," whispered Kenny.

"Keep 'em guessing," whispered Robin in return, and they both broke out snickering.

* * *

"Before I call on the next presenter I have an announcement," announced Mr. Atkins. "We have a new student with us this morning."

Everyone looked about quizzically until it dawned.

"I'd like to introduce Robin Owen. This is a new situation for us. I anticipated a few questions so here are some answers. You will refer to Robin as she or her. Robin will use the girl's restroom... " titters rippled through the room and Mr. Atkins held up his hand for silence, "... with a chaperone to assure it is vacant. Robin will be rescheduled to attend Home Economics and Feminine Hygiene classes.

'The following is extremely important. Robin has lived with the eventuality of this situation all of her life. If you think back, you'll recall that she was sensitive to issues of sex, gender, macho images and feelings. Having been forced by onset of puberty to make a final decision almost inevitably on the side of deciding that she is a young lady, please support her in that difficult and brave decision. I say brave because she 'came out' to us yesterday, though her dilemma would quickly have become apparent in gym, which by the way she is exempt from."

"In our two gender society, she is to be treated as a young lady, with all the courtesies due that gender. Dating is up to her as it is for each of you. Curiosity seekers are not welcome. Are there any questions?"

It was quiet. Then a boy's voice from the back observed, "I think she's pretty." There were murmurs of assent.

"What's it like for you?" a girl asked. "I mean now, becoming a girl overnight."

Robin rose. "I've felt more like a girl all my life. I've set aside my Tomboy behavior. It is actually quite a relief. My parents have always supported me. They advised me to wait until all the votes were in. I'm developing into a girl so I'm glad it has turned out this way."

"Will you have an operation," a boy near the window asked.

"Too personal a question, Cal," said Mr. Atkins quickly, "any other questions?"

It was again quiet.

"No," said Robin. "No operation."

"But you're a boy and a girl," another boy shouted.

'The cat's out of the bag now,' thought Mr. Atkins.

"You have to choose," the boy pressed.

"It's not fair," piped a small boy in back to titters throughout the room.

"Then I choose both. There are others like me. There are at least three genders, not two."

Then Robin walked down the aisle and whispered in the boy's ear, "Besides it's the only place it feels good. Want to have yours cut off?"

The boy's mouth hung open and he turned noticeably red-faced as he digested what a girl had just said to him. Robin returned to her seat.

"If there are no further questions, we'll continue with the presentations. Points will be taken off for clothing removed during the proceedings. As I'm undecided on how to grade Robin's presentation I'm offering you the opportunity to show your support for her changed status and her means of presenting it."

Ken hesitated for only a moment. Then he began a slow clapping sound that in seconds rose to a crescendo as the class unanimously joined in.

"I'll take it that's an A-grade. Robin's will be a hard act to follow."

* * *

At lunch Ken joined Robin in line and they moved to an empty table. They had agreed not to put anyone on the spot this soon. As they ate, Robin noticed Ken glancing surreptitiously her way.

"What Kenny?" she said finally.

"I'm eating lunch alone with a girl. I used to look at you and get afraid when I thought how good-looking you were. Now I understand that I was seeing 'beautiful', not 'pretty' or 'good-looking' and it feels right. Your clothes, the truth of who you are, make it right for me to feel that way. I'm attracted to all your attributes. I get this itchy feeling inside when I see you." Then Ken lowered his voice and leaned closer. "I think I'm falling in love with you. Not the boy part, well that too, but the girl look, the boy-girl in girl's clothes. Oh, shit, it's so confusing. It's like I was in love with two people at the same time and they are both the same person."

"I'm very flattered." Robin was thoughtful for a moment. "You have no idea how it feels to be able to say that. As a boy it was a little girly to say such things, or even feel them. Now I can be all of me."

Ken nodded his understanding. "Robin, could you call me Ken from now on?"

The bell rang.

"Ken, give it a little time for my feelings catch up with yours. See me after school."

"I cannot help but do so," whispered Ken and they went to their separate classes.

* * *

Word was spreading. The younger children tittered as they passed Robin. Older children were more confrontational.

"So, Robin, you going to have a girlfriend too?" and Joan grinned as she bumped Robin in passing.

"I'd like to be your girlfriend, Robby," Moana insinuated.

The bathroom chaperoning did not work out well. The principal arranged for Robin to use the bathroom in the nurse's office.

"How's your boy... excuse me... girlfriend Kenny?" teased the school wrestling champion.

* * *

Robin and Ken got through the afternoon and the bus trip, slightly noisier than the morning ride. They'd agreed Ken would not ride to Robin's house by bus but would bike over.

Alone in Robin's room, they sat quietly on opposite sides of the bed sharing each other's days.

"I think it's going to get worse," Ken said. "I'm already your boyfriend and some can't decide whether you're my girlfriend or boyfriend or both."

"Got the same message," Robin sighed.

"It's a bit embarrassing to be thought gay when you're going with a girl, 'cept she's more endowed than some boys," Ken added.

"If I weren't a fertile male, but just had a 'big clit,'" Robin mused.

Ken instantly swung over to her side and put his arm around her shoulders. "Don't ever think of that, my love," he shuddered, "I want you just as you are." Then he was momentarily subdued, "Sorry the 'my love' part just slipped out."

"I liked it," Robin said as tears began to brim. "You want me?"

"Robin if I don't have you, join with you, fuck you, I'll... I'll come without even touching myself. It's all I've thought about since I woke up this morning and felt that itchy, magic feeling the first moment I thought of you. I feel you have a power over me. You have no idea what you've done to me."

"Be right back," said Robin. She returned, placed a condom on the bed and lay back. "Undress me, Ken. Enjoy me, touch me, enter me!"

Ken's hands shook with excitement. He placed his hands on Robin's legs and as slowly as he could bear, slid them under her dress and up to her waist, exposing Robin's panties.

Robin's breath was coming in delicate, quick pants as she relished the exposure. "I'm a girl, Ken, take me." She was plucking at his belt, button and zipper. Ken slipped off the bed and disrobed completely, the tip of his erect penis already wet.

"You'd better put this on," Robin cautioned.

Ken had never done this before.

"Keep it rolled, place it on your cock, then unroll it down the shaft," Robin advised, then seeing Ken almost touch the outer surface to the tip by mistake said, "Here let me."

Ken edged up the bed, his legs each side of Robin. She quickly rolled the rubber fully down his shaft. Ken shuddered with anticipation at her touch.

Ken slid down, Robin lifted her hips and Ken removed her panties.

Robin was erect, her vagina well exposed. She spread her legs. "Spit on the rubber and wet it so it'll slide in easily," Robin advised.

Ken did as he was instructed. Robin added a bit more lubricant, drew Ken's penis to her vagina and shaking with excitement gasped, "Fuck me, Ken."

"Robin, Robin I love you, love you. Oh it feels so good, you're so hot inside."

"Push more, go as far as you can, I want all of you in me." She was gripping Ken's buttocks, drawing him tightly to herself.

Ken's stomach was rubbing against her penis, exciting her. She gripped her penis and fondled it.

"Kiss me, Ken," she implored. "Let me know when you are close, I want to come with you. Just put your tongue into my mouth when you're ready."

The touching of lips was more than either could resist. "You taste so good, Robin. Oh it's too much..."

Ken thrust his tongue between Robin's lips and she increased her rubbing to climax speed.

"Oh Robin. I'm coming." Ken arched up and away from Robin's dress and thrust deep and hard.

"Me too, Ken. I've never felt anything this good. Your strength overpowers me." She spread her legs as widely as possible and drew them up to increase the depth and contact.

As their orgasms ended, they locked eyes.

"No secrets, no going back, I'll protect you Robin, I'll love you."

"Ken, Ken," Robin murmured as she reached to stroke his cheek. "Today you made me a girl. No going back, no doubts. Now I know what it means to give yourself as a gift."

"We need to clean you up," Ken said surveying Robin's semen on her dress as he withdrew. Ken was still hard and Robin felt the tip of the condom. "As much as me. This could be addictive."

Ken was applying tissue to Robin's dress. Robin was milking the last semen from her penis. "Time to wash," she said swinging off the bed, her dress falling about her legs, her hand extended to Ken.

"I don't know how I'll ever get anything else done now for thinking about you," Ken stated as they peed and flushed the condom. "Me too," said Robin. "Do you think it shows? They say you can tell."

"What's that," Ken asked.

"That we've done it, silly," Robin said as she pulled on her panties.

"You won't tell will you," Ken said anxiously, fumbling at his buttons.

"What's wrong, dearest," said Robin twirling her finger into the space between his shirt buttons.

"You really are good," observed Ken.

"At?"

"Being a girl. And I mean that in the most complimentary way. You really are a girl through and through aren't you?"

"I've been bursting at the seams to be myself for so long. You don't know how hard it was to be a boy. That was the act. What you see now is the real me, the natural me. I cannot help but be this way, I will not help but be this way. No more balancing acts, no pretense. No kidding around being a Tomboy. Robby has vanished. One thing though."

"What's that, love," asked Ken as they entered the kitchen.

"I'll fight for you like a guy. I think we are going to have a few fights, not with each other but beside each other before this is settled," promised Robin.

"But you won't tell, okay?"

"No, but it will be obvious that we are in love."

Seated, Ken rested his elbows on the kitchen table and rested his head on his palms.

"You can't come to my house any more," he sniffed. Ken explained that although Robby had been to Kenny's house many times, and although Robby showed some feminine behavior, to Ken's Dad, Robin would still be a Robby, and as such he would not have any son of his queering it up as the boyfriend of some 'girly-guy'.

Robin put her arms around Ken from behind him. "Why does it have to be that way with people? Three, not two. Or four, or five. What does it matter how a person gives and takes love? How does your mother feel?"

"Don't know. It's never come up. I knew I had some sexy thoughts about my friend Robby, but as Robby I thought I could leave it alone. As Robin, and such a special Robin at that, I cannot leave it alone... oh!"

"What?" Robin asked.

"I just thought, what about the laws. Are we even allowed to be in love?"

"I'm legally a girl. Don't see why not."

"Yes but suppose the law said if you're legally a girl you must physically be a girl to have the benefits. You know I would kill to protect you from that sort of harm."

"I'll have to ask my parents 'bout that one. We never thought of the law from that point of view," said Robin. "Let you know."

"Wish I had parents like that," Ken said. "Speaking of which, I should leave before yours get home."

"They know," Robin said.

"Since when?" Ken burst out.

"Since a few minutes after they got home last evening. They figured it out pretty quick. Where do you think the condoms came from? I'd bet you could live here if your parents couldn't deal with it."

"Well I'd better go before mine figure it out. I'm sure they'll hear about it soon, from my brother probably."

"You may be right," said Robin as she rose to see Ken to the door. "Quick kiss?"

* * *

"Well legally you're a female," said Dad. "So there shouldn't be a problem there. But legally a boy and a girl can't have sex until they are both 16, so you and Kenny... Ken... will have to wait."

Robin looked alarmed.

"Too late, huh?" asked Dad.

Robin nodded.

"Be careful. Don't tell anyone, including us," Dad nodded toward Mom at the counter. "As to the gay aspect, I think you and Ken had better start karate lessons."

* * *

The girls went after Robin, the boys, Ken. Images were at stake. Egos were massive. Fortunately, Master Sasaki would allow no outer instruction until he was satisfied that some inner instruction was firmly in place.

Within the first week of daily verbal and sitting instruction, Robin and Ken had grasped the essentials of dropping Ego.

"You two must have some unusually pressing reasons to accept instruction so readily," stated the Master, but he did not probe further.

School confrontations were seen for what they were, attempts by kids to provoke reactions for their entertainment. Robin and Ken used some verbal defusing techniques to deflate these situations. 'Humor, at your expense, not theirs,' the Master had stressed. 'And agreement... from their point of view, not yours. And smile,' he added.

* * *

"You've only half a girlfriend Kenny-boy." It was the wrestling team captain again. The locker room went deadly silent... and attentive.

Ken took time to finish drying between his toes then straightened to display a penis any eighth grader would have been proud to call his own. "You know, Bruce," he said casually, " I used to wonder 'bout that but Robin straighten me out real quick."

Bruce may have been quick with his moves but it took him a moment to get Ken's double, and rather mature, meaning. Then he grinned, slapped Ken on the back, and turned to dress as the volume in the room returned to normal.

* * *

"Bet you still have to stand up to pee, Robby-girl."

"I have my up days and I have my down days, Moana-girl," brought peels of laughter from those within hearing.

Robin and Ken's easy approach to a new and unusual situation together with the news that they were moving rapidly through the various belts in their karate lessons combined to avoid physical confrontation. After a few weeks most had accepted Robin's new status and that Robin and Ken were an item... at school. At home, Ken had explained Robby's absence the last few weeks as a falling out.

* * *

The Halloween Party was drawing near.

Robin thought about it for a few seconds. "No, Ken, I can't do it, and I don't think you should either. The kids have accepted our roles and our relationship. For you to dress as a girl and me as a boy would open old issues. It might look as though we were flaunting it in front of the whole school. Besides, I'd make a lousy boy now, " she said, laughing. Then dead serious, "Pretending I'm a boy scares me shitless," and she buried her head in Ken's embrace.

Ken stroked her lengthening hair. "You are wonderful as a boy... in bed."

They were becoming very mature in their sexual relationship. There was of course no waiting until they were both 16. That was almost two years into high school. Robin had instigated experiments with anal sex. "Just to know what it's like for you," she confessed. "Don't want to make a habit of it." Then Ken had tried it. Eventually they returned to 'more conventional methods'.

* * *

"So who are you going with dear," Mom asked Ken.

"No one. It's not formal. No date is required," Ken replied.

His Dad gave him a stern glance but said nothing. 'At least his brother's dating,' his Dad thought. Ken's brother was in tenth grade at the high school across town. No rumors about his brother's middle school dating habits had drifted his way to pass to Dad.

* * *

"What's he doing here?" whispered Robin as she finally attracted Ken's attention from a side hallway.

"I don't have a clue. Looks like he's a chaperone. First I knew about it," Ken whispered back.

"Back to the main room, Robin, Ken. Better be on your best behavior, I see your Dad volunteered."

"Yes sir," Ken agreed as the principal ushered them out of their refuge, and to Robin, "Separate. Meet you later if I can."

Fortunately, though Ken's Dad had been looking their way at that moment, he did not recognize Robin and returned to flirting with an old classmate.

Few people would have known Robin was Robby. Her hair was long and full now, her manner perfected, her body language impeccable. She was what they would term 'a natural'. This was no boy in drag but a perfected young lady.

"Can I get you a refill on that, Robin?" It was Samuel, quiet Samuel, Samuel of the back of the room, 'I think she's pretty' Samuel.

There was nothing Ken could do to rescue Robin. Too much attention shown to this one girl and Dad would be asking, here or at home. He made a pretense of participating in a group discussion while keeping an eye on Samuel. Not that there was anything wrong with Samuel. He was smart, cool, looked great in that open collared shirt that flowed over the brief-cut jacket and tight slacks with the ever so slight flair at the bottom.

Ken was sure Robin could handle it. It was just that Ken had never felt so jealous, so helpless and so caring all at once before, and there was nothing he could do about it. He and Robin had expected to spend a magical carefree evening together. There would be questions Monday as to why Samuel occupied so much of Robin's evening, and why Ken stayed away. Even if he'd known his Dad was chaperoning tonight, Ken and Robin's presence was still mandatory.

"Penny for your thoughts Kenny." It was Moana. Kenny's instinct was to excuse himself. Then he realized this was the perfect solution, for Dad, for school Monday. But he had to be careful. He hoped Robin could understand that they could be seen with anyone but each other tonight.

"Hey, Moana, care to dance?" Ken had matured in the past months and was comfortable around girls. As boyfriend of the most well-known girl in the eighth grade, he enjoyed a certain popularity. As he pondered the evening's events, he steered Moana toward Robin and Samuel on the floor. As they passed, he gave Robin that certain 'everything's cool' look and a wink and moved on. She'd understood.

The four stayed paired through the dance contest, put on by the students of the dance class. Then it was time for presentation of Count and Countess Dracula, always the most popular couple of that year's class.

This was officiated over by the principal's secretary, young, pretty, suited to the part, and with an ear to what was going down around school.

After the usual build-up and acknowledgement of caterers, chaperones and decorating committee, it was envelope time.

Ken had Robin in sight. Suddenly he felt the urge to grasp her by the hand and get her out of there. It wasn't right. Ms Kennedy was describing "... a remarkable young person who made a very brave and decisive turning point in her life, and the boy who befriended her before and after that decision. I give you Countess Robin Owen and Count Kenneth Worth."

The applause, at first hearty and genuine, subsided as Robin and Ken hung back, then surged as they were thrust to the stage steps and encouraged with whistles and shouts of approval.

Robin stumbled slightly as high heels and steps met unexpectedly and unaccustomedly. Instinctively and protectively Ken steadied her with practiced ease, concern and affection. It was obvious that these young people had been much in each other's company.

Ms Kennedy called for 'a little less uproar if you please' and read the citation to accompany the bestowal of the titles 'Count and Countess of Dracula' to rule until the Christmas party. Then coronets were placed and the couple was escorted to the floor to dance alone to the first few strains of the 'Last Chance Waltz' before other couples joined in. Only Samuel, a little watery-eyed as he watched Robin in another's arms, knew the piece.

In another part of the room, another pair of eyes was watering, in silent fury. "Of course you know that the Countess Owen started the year as Robby Owen who came out early in the year as a girl," whispered Ken's Dad's old flame. Then lowering her head and cupping her hand to his ear she whispered, "Of course she's both, you know boy and girl, but she's grown breasts and hips and is legally a female except she has, you know, a thing." Mrs. Vile was living up to her name tonight, thoroughly enjoying the impotent rage she aroused in the man who'd thrown her over many years ago for that 'bloodless Mary what's-her-name'.

As the floor filled with other couples, Ken whispered in Robin's ear, "Robin, we're screwed."

Robin stopped dancing abruptly. "Ken we knew we'd have to face him and all the others in the world like him. I love you. I stand beside you. We are not 'screwed' as you put it, this is our moment."

Ken put his arms around her. "Sorry. It was the sudden shock talking. Nobody's going to destroy what we have. Come on."

As Ken took Robin's arm to lead her to the stage, a hand gripped his arm, hard, painfully. Ken's Dad was about to verbally accost his son but Ken already had him halfway to the floor, an instinctive move triggered by pain and executed through long hours of training.

Someone stopped the music and the hall became ominously quiet. As Ken's Dad staggered to his feet, Ken and Robin mounted the stage and approached the microphone.

"You'll have to forgive us for this little difficulty. You see Robin and I have concealed our love from my father as he let it be known that no son of his was going to queer around. To him Robin is not worthy of my love. Through an unfortunate set of circumstances, his presence tonight and our identification as a couple, he found out the hard way and reacted. It is our fault, not for loving each other, but for not allowing that love to be tested in the real world of everyday life, no matter what source the strife."

Robin moved toward the microphone, touched Ken's arm and whispered to him. Ken nodded and stepped back.

"Ken and I have endured much in the past few months on our way to instructing those who fear and hate us for daring to be unashamed of our uniqueness. There was no law to protect us; we had to learn to protect ourselves. There may be no law that can ever protect each from all. Therefore know this, where you act outside the law, so will we. Where you take an ounce know that we will take a pound. And you will bring upon yourselves the disaster you would have befall us.

"Gandhi said: 'How can one be compelled to accept slavery? I simply refuse to do the master's bidding. He may torture me, break my bones to atoms and even kill me. He will then have my dead body, not my obedience. Ultimately, therefore, it is I who am the victor and not he, for he has failed in getting me to do what he wanted done.' But we will not sit by like Gandhi who merely participated in the exchange of one master of India for another and in the end left the master his dead body.

"We have just finished reading The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare. Here are some lines we had to memorize. I think they summarize our situation well:

'Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? The villany you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard, but I will better the instruction.'

"Therefore instruct us not in hate for through hate we will have our revenge. But show us love and tolerance and that shall be your blessing and your reward.

"Ken and I stand together, unashamed of our love and our uniqueness. If there are others among you who are different and need refuge join us and know that you are not alone."

At the urging of the principal who feared a riot or at least a confrontation on school property, Ms Kennedy came forward and captured the microphone.

During these events, parents had been arriving to pick up their children. As they were not waiting outside, the parents had come in.

Ms Kennedy's practiced closing comments were lost amid the general uproar that followed the close of Ken and Robin's remarks. The mood of the dance had been shattered. A newer mood prevailed. That evening the lights in many homes burned late as parents and children came to a better understanding of what had occurred that night and in the past few months at school.

Ken's mother had arrived with the car she'd needed for some late shopping. A thick silence blanketed the interior of the Ford on the drive home. Ken's Dad had calmed down. After the trip to the floor and listening to his son and Robin's comments he had reassessed his position. "We need to talk," was all he said. It was a beginning.

* * *

Samuel was having some difficulty with his Mom. "Let me get this straight. You want to control me through threats and abuse, but expect me to be respectful of those threats and abuse in return?"

Inspired by Ken and Robin's example, he'd revealed his secret; it wasn't the girl he was attracted to in Robin. His single Mom had reached the anger phase in coming to grips with the latest of her life's disasters.

* * *

"She'll get over it," Samuel confided to Robin as they discussed last Friday night's dance and home events. He'd meant Robin no harm, no pressure, he just couldn't help but be drawn to her when he saw her alone last Friday.

Robin, Samuel and Ken were at their lunch table when two girls approached. Ken and Robin's radar went up as Master Sasaki had ingrained in them when an unusual situation arose. The girl's expressions, their reluctant approach, their lack of aggressive attitude spoke safety. Robin invited them to sit.

"We want to join," Judy said.

"Join?" asked Robin.

"Yes, your club. We saw Sam talking to you and we know he likes boys more than girls. We figured there were more kids," said Gail.

"There is no club, Gail," said Ken.

Gail and Judy's faces dropped. "But you said Friday if we needed help... "

Ken interrupted, "We will help, Gail, but we will not form a club. Clubs have to be approved by the principal if we want to be openly active at school. Club meetings can be disrupted, club property can be destroyed, club members can be threatened, parents can feel they have some say in membership."

"Clubs become unwieldy, burdened with presidents and secretaries, treasurers and voters. Soon the meetings become like towns with leaders and followers and rules and... well no club," Robin insisted.

"And no large gatherings signifying the ins and the outs, the friendlies and the foes. I'll bet that right now the five of us are being sized up as a threat by some kids. The less we are seen together at school the better, the safer, and that is why you are here, to form a refuge. But a refuge can be other than a place and safer too. So let's get together by phone and on the net, decide how to protect ourselves, when to give and when to take and to learn the difference. Now let's break this up."

* * *

By the following weekend 39 kids had contacted Robin or Ken. They'd decided that there would be no complete membership list. Each member would have five contacts for notification of matters. Robin's parents had agreed that theirs would be a safe house to which any kid that felt threatened around home or town could escape for temporary shelter until matters were resolved.

Organization names and parades were discussed and rejected. "Too much exposure," said Ken's Dad who'd become quite helpful in these things. "You'd be throwing yourself on the good graces of the town, the council and police for permission to do things that you are within your rights to do individually." He was a member of the town council and was well aware of such things.

In the end those who were different came to trust and rely upon each other. Communication was informal. Word went out that there was this strong cooperation among people of differing sexual orientation. No one knew for sure who was 'in' so it was well to be polite and considerate of expressions of 'differences'. As promised, wrongs were quickly 'righted', misunderstandings 'corrected', confrontation 'confronted'. All without the intervention of school boards, PTAs, police, churches, all the self-serving organization that give lip service to keeping the peace but are interested only in keeping their piece.

* * *

High school came and went. There were marriages and colleges, births and deaths, children of children. Life went on in the small town and one day there was no one left who remembered the day Robby Owen 'came out' in Mr. Atkins' eighth grade English Composition class. There was no need to remember an event born of necessity that had ceased to be necessary.

We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну

We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну

Iomfats.org

Born of Necessity

by Michael Sargeant