Three
by Oliver
Okay, let's see if I can make head or tail of these damned pictograms. Why can't they just write the instructions in plain language? Why do they think these drawings are easier to understand? A goes into B which joins on to C. Something like that. Easy. Nothing cryptic. But oh no! They have to have bloody lines, arrows, squiggles, magnifications, all sorts of things which just confuse rather than illustrate. Bloody Scandinavians.
Bugger! Where did I put that handy little six-sided thingummy?
Can't do anything these days without one of those handy six-sided thingummies.
How am I supposed to get this lot assembled before nightfall? I know what it's supposed to look like, but for the life of me, I can't see how this pile of junk will ever resemble anything.
I've counted everything, it's all there, but it still feels like something important is missing. This is going to take all bloody day! As if I haven't got enough to do! It's been a bloody busy week already and now this!
I'll tell you one thing; I'm not going in tomorrow. I'm going to take the day off, have a rest. Someone else can take over. Typical isn't it? Offer to do one thing and you get roped in for the lot! It's not even as if I'm qualified or anything. Bit of a jack-of-all-trades, really, if truth be told.
But at least I got things done! The other lot were just useless! Didn't have a bloody clue! Just let it evolve, they said. Give it time. Time indeed! Evolve!
Obvious they ask me, really. But I could have done with some help. But did they offer? Did they hell! All on my bloody own, I was.
Anyway, what's next? Still don't understand this bloody instruction manual!
At least there's no wife breathing down my neck telling me how I ought to be doing it; not yet anyway. At least I can swear at it, chuck it on the floor when it gets me annoyed, even walk away and take a breather; wouldn't be able to do that with a wife - She Who Must Be Obeyed - telling me exactly how it fits together.
So do it yourself, woman!
Oh no! Not a job for a woman! What kind of reasoning is that? If I had my way, I wouldn't invent womankind. Equality! Bah!
Okay, now things are going better. Don't know what that bit is; don't seem to see it on the pictures. (I'll just leave it out, no-one'll notice.)
There! Done!
Not bad, even though I say so myself. Okay, I'm off down the pub and then I'll take the day off tomorrow. I expect it'll be logged:
And on the seventh day, He rested.
