Backdoor Slider - A Love Story
by Joe L
I pull onto the 10 freeway again to make that long, eight-hour drive. This time, I'm headed home. I've completed my first few months of school at USC, and now it's winter break. I have only one thing on my mind… one purpose. I'm getting Luke back. Nothing else matters. We've still had no contact since prom night, and it's time to fight what I want. Everything else in my life... my education, my scholarship, my future career... It all seems so unimportant compared to what I had with Luke. I had something that maybe one in a million couples has. It's not just physical at all. The sex was a huge part of our relationship, but there was so much more. Even when I was in a terrible mood, all it would take was his goofy smile or a loving touch, and everything was instantly perfect.
I keep thinking back to the early days of our relationship... how we were living out our sexual fantasies with reckless abandon. Even through that, Luke's love shone through. He could've had the attitude that it was just "bros taking care of bros". It's hard to tell someone you love them, but he told me that immediately... on that first night... and constantly after that.
Sure, he could be lazy and thoughtless sometimes... but he's a teenage boy! Maybe I was too hard on him.
I also think about the sixteen-year-old Garrett... the kid who tortured himself with fantasies of Luke that couldn't possibly ever come true, but they did... and how the reality far exceeded any of his fantasies. I think about the shock and fury of that Garrett, finding out that his future self would throw it away... when it used to be the only thing that mattered... the only thing that would make life worth living.
Maybe going through this time apart saved us from a nasty break-up, or maybe we would've made it through the rough patches somehow going to the same school. All I know now is that I've figured out what's really important in my life, and I'm going to make it right.
I've texted Denise a couple of times that I'm coming home today, but I haven't heard back from her yet. Surely, Luke should be home from school, too.
School has sucked shit. I mean, classes were okay... I'm sure I got all A's, and football was... well, it was football. I easily won the starting kicker job, and my record is still intact... no misses in my career. Sure, I've been blocked and other mishaps like the bad snaps, and crap. But when it comes down to me and the ball, I don't miss when the conditions are perfect. The crowds are bigger and the pressure is higher, but I just don't miss. I hope I can apply that to other aspects of my life.
I was even featured on the HBO show, "Real Sports". They did an episode about gay and lesbian athletes. I wanted to portray my situation in a positive light because it's not every day that a major college football team has an openly gay player. I talked about how I'm just a team player and my sexuality was never an issue. The guys just treated me like everyone else and I was happy to be on the team and able to contribute. When I walked out after the interview was over, my nose was six feet long and my pants were fully ablaze.
In reality, everything was completely opposite. I was shunned by some and completely ignored by others. I know some of it had to do with the stigma of being a kicker. Lots of guys on the team feel that kickers aren't really football players. Compounding that, the fact that a gay guy was on their team really threatened them. Maybe they hated the fact that an athletic, masculine guy could be gay... there could be more of them... on the team, even! They could be watching them shower... waiting for the perfect opportunity... and BAM, they have a dick up their ass!
I guess I could've expected it from the team, but Coach Kiffin really surprised me. He was so great when he recruited me, but once I got to school, I don't think he ever looked me in the eye again. I was a great kicker. I did all that was asked of me and more, but I got nothing from coach. I was an issue to be delegated. The special teams coach was told to "handle me", or so I assume. Coach Mohler made sure I was happy and even invited me to his house for home-cooked meals. His youngest daughter had just started college this year, too, so his wife was suffering from a really bad case of empty nest, and she was happy to cater to me. Mrs. Mohler was actually the best friend I made my first few months of school, and that's fucking sad.
I started off the semester making a few friends from classes and the dorm. I forced myself to make the effort, even though I have a hard time making that initial connection. I've always relied on Luke my entire life to break the ice with new people.
I had a roommate from Hawaii in the freshman dorm. He went by Max. I don't even know what his real name was. He was a beautiful surfer-type, and just my luck, sexually confused. I had absolutely no desire to do anything with him, though. One weekend, after we won an incredibly big game against Oregon, we celebrated with some beers alone in our room, and I could tell he was on a mission. After we were sufficiently buzzed, and sufficiently slurring our words, he made his move. He touched his knee to mine, and then when I didn't back scoot away, he stroked my foot with his big toe. I still didn't move… I guess I was more paralyzed, wondering if I did anything, would it be cheating on Luke?
He leaned in to kiss me, and the thought of it made me want to barf. I think Luke has ruined me for ever having another relationship. I know what it's like to be in love... deeply in love with someone who's deeply in love with me. Having any kind of sexual contact with someone whom I don't have that connection with just seems wrong. I mean, it's not wrong for other people, it's just wrong for me.
I felt bad for Max, and I did awkwardly jerk him off. Luckily, he fell asleep or passed out right after. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending how you look at it, the whole thing freaked him out. The next two days, he made sure we were never in the dorm room at the same time. I don't know where he was sleeping, maybe on the floor of a friend's room. During my four-hour block of classes that Tuesday, he moved out. Since the friends that I had made were friends that we shared, I left him and them alone. I never got another roommate, and I went the rest of the term alone. I guess it's not just football players that are threatened by hot gay guys. No one else wanted to move in with me.
All I could do was fill my time as much as possible. I had lots of things to do, anyway. I took a full load of classes, so I had lots to read. I had football practice, and I worked out just as much as the rest of the players. In my mind, just because I was a kicker didn't mean I wasn't a football player, and I had to prove that... even if they were ignoring me. I even did some volunteer work with the LGBT club on campus. The one thing I wouldn't do was sit in my room alone and pine away for Luke. Occasionally, I would go to bed, not be completely exhausted, and I would lie there for a few seconds before I drifted off with a tear running down my cheek. I knew that would be my undoing if I let it.
Damn, I'm almost to the Arizona border! I drove more than half of the trip in a daydream. At least now, I'll be in the same state as Luke again. That's a start.
Even though school was rough, the most painful memory of the last few months had to be meeting Marco and Josh on Labor Day weekend. We all swore we would come back the next year and every year after that. I didn't want to go, but I had this feeling that Luke might just show up. Naturally, he didn't. It was nice to see Josh and Marco again, still all horned up and deeply in love... but Luke's absence was too much to take. I felt like a third wheel. Sure, they tried to console me, saying all the right things, but occasionally, I would see a look on their faces and I know what they were thinking: "How COULD he have done that to Luke?"
As for Luke, even though I haven't had any contact with him, I've kept up with his goings-on through text messages with Denise. It's really been nice of her because she hates to text, but I would occasionally get these long updates.
Apparently, Luke took a different path in his first few months in college. He realized quickly that no one knew him, and he was no longer the hot gay pitcher anymore. Without me there, he decided to play it straight... big shocker. Fully back in the closet and without me as a roommate, he decided to rush a frat and get a girlfriend. Nothing could've hurt me more... I had to go take a shower for my sobbing session when I got the message. At least that way, some of the noise was disguised. However, once I thought about it more, it just made me laugh. I think about the way he would kiss me... how hard I made him... the cum that would gush out of his dick, all for me. That poor girl! I just imagine some bitch trying to suck him off, and Luke with his eyes closed, thinking about me so he can reach orgasm. At least she gets to walk into a party clutched to his arm... that's probably all she cares about anyway.
Even though Denise supplied me with some information, she still seemed cold and distant. When I'd ask her if she thought Luke would ever talk to me, she said, "Maybe over winter break." I'll take anything I can get at this point.
I pull into my driveway just as the sun sets. I made great time, especially since I had lots of things going through my mind. I grab my bag and my laptop, and head into the house.
"Hey!" I try to fake enthusiasm to see my parents as I set my stuff down on the floor inside the front door.
"Hello, Garrett!" I hear an unfamiliar voice in the living room, and I walk in cautiously to see who it is. I see my grandparents... my Florida grandparents... sitting in the living room with my folks, all with nervous smiles. That must mean–
"Hey," David says sheepishly as he sneaks around the corner from the kitchen.
"Hello Dave!" I say sarcastically, as I make the rounds, giving hugs to the parents and grandparents. Suddenly it strikes me what a little man David has become. I haven't seen or heard from him in over two years, and he certainly has matured... physically matured, at least.
"I'm sorry Garrett. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you wouldn't come home for Christmas," Mom whispers as I kiss her cheek.
"It's okay," I smile. I look back at my grandparents who are making faces and nudging motions towards David. They want him to say something to me.
"Do you have something you want to say, David?" I beat him to the punch.
"YES, I was getting to that!" He rolls his eyes at our grandparents. "Hey... umm... I'm sorry to hear that you and Luke broke up... and... well, I'm just sorry." The silence is deafening, and I can't help but smile.
"Well, Davey... I have to say that doesn't really mean much to me right now... but at least, maybe we can talk again." Surprisingly, I see no signs of the shitty David, and he looks genuinely pleased that I didn't completely rebuff him. Mom lets out an audible sigh of relief, which breaks the tension and everyone jumps up and jovially heads for the dinner table.
We all chow down on my favorite meal, pot roast, and awkwardly catch up. It's really nice to see my grandparents. I haven't seen them in six or seven years, and they've clearly done a great job with David. He's actually not sulking, and he's having adult conversations. There might be hope for him yet.
Finally, the subject of Luke comes up... in the context of "How am I doing without him?" I decide it's best to tell the truth at this point, so I announce that I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him back. I expect to hear a chorus of "It's time to let him go!" and "He's just holding you back!" However, all I get is support and "Good for you!" I guess I'm not the only one that knows what we had was so special, so amazing.... so worth fighting for.
"Garrett, there's a basketball game on," Dad whispers and elbows me as the women clear the table. I probably should watch it with him, but I'm just not in the mood. I gotta think about my next move.
"I just need to sit on the porch and think for a minute," I say, and I sneak outside without protest. I plop down on the big wooden rocking chair and sit alone in the dark. I immediately check my phone: no messages... as if I wouldn't have felt my phone vibrate during dinner if there was one. What should I do? I want to just go over to their apartment and break down the damn door... and jump in his arms. Fuck, I miss those arms around me. I really should wait until I hear back from Denise, though. She's been so great to me, and I need to respect her. But, I can't stand just sitting here like this. Maybe I'll go back to being the pathetic stalker and sit in the parking lot of his building, watching his window like I did so many times over the summer. Or MAYBE... he'll just walk up to my house from out of nowhere, dressed in black... like what is happening right now. I blink my eyes several times to make sure I'm not hallucinating, but it's really him.
He has stopped in the street and he hasn't seen me yet. What's he doing? I smile as I realize he's rehearsing. He's rehearsing what he's going to say to me. I've missed him so much, but there are so many things about him that I've forgotten. I forgot how cute he can be when he's insecure and nervous. He's so majorly cute right now. I indulge my voyeurism for a little while longer, watching him pace back and forth and make hand motions as he talks. I only wish I could hear what he's saying. Finally, I can't take it anymore, and I laugh... and he notices me.
"Dammit!" He jumps a little and then smiles as realizes it's me. I motion for him to meet me at the bench by the tree in the front yard. As I get closer to him, I see that his eyes look tired and puffy, and he's lost weight. That's kind of hard for someone who hasn't had an ounce of fat on him since he was a baby... still, I can see it in his face.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, regretting the words. "I mean–"
"I heard you were getting home tonight." He produces his mom's phone out of his pocket and waggles it in the air. "Can I give you a hug?" he asks awkwardly. I want so much more than that, but I nod and hold my arms out. I want to just melt and cry and kiss him and never let him go, but there are things we need to clear up.
His embrace feels so good, so real. He's holding nothing back, and all of the emotion starts to overwhelm me. I can feel a tremble begin deep inside, and I somehow break away and open my mouth without kissing him.
"So, where's your girlfriend? I want to give her a hug, too!" I raise an eyebrow as if I actually expect her to walk around the corner, just like Luke did.
"Fuck, G... there's so much I gotta tell ya." He shakes his head and his voice cracks a little. I guess this is what the rehearsing was about. Damn, it sure feels good to hear him call me G again.
"Okay, but the girlfriend thing sounds like a great place to start."
"There... is no girlfriend. Never was." He looks at the ground in shame.
"C'mon. It's okay, just tell me the truth. Your mom told me, and why would she lie?"
"She didn't tell you... it was me."
"All those texts you got from her, they were all from me. She got a free phone from work, and I took over her phone and her number when I got mine disconnected. I couldn't read your texts to me, and I couldn't text back. I just spent all day in bed, every day. Then I realized I could read your texts to her, and I would text you back... as her."
"Shit Luke... Why didn't you just–" I mutter... I never even considered that possibility. He totally had me fooled.
"I know, I know.... At first, I was just so angry. I held on to it for as long as I could so I wouldn't have to be angry at myself. Then I was humiliated... then finally, angry at myself... then depressed... and that's what you see today!" He gives me his goofy smile as a tear runs down his cheek. I resist jumping in his arms again.
"Start at the beginning," I nudge his knee, trying to be comforting, but not too affectionate.
"Okay... this is the real truth. It hurts to tell, but I think you deserve it."
"Let's hear it," I take a deep breath and brace myself.
"I never wanted to go to college. All I wanted was to get drafted by a team out of high school and go play rookie ball the next year. I'd work my way up through the minor leagues, and... well, you know the dream."
"I know you know how I feel about that, and how I feel about a free education." I shut myself up because I want him to be able to finish what he wants to say.
"Yeah, I knew that you and Mom would never let me choose my own path, so I had a plan. I would go to school with you at ASU, and I would flunk out and lose my scholarship. I had it all planned out... how you would help me study, but I would just crack on my exams, and that would be it. You could go on with your degree, and I would come home and just relax and work out preparing for the next time I could get into the minor league system."
"We know how smart you are... that you could do it! That's why we wanted it so bad for you."
"I know, but it wasn't what I wanted. I'm sorry, but I felt like you guys backed me into a corner, and I wasn't going to let someone else tell me what to do with my life."
"I guess I never thought about it that way."
"Then, you ruined my plan. Now, if I went off to school and failed, it would've been because I was lazy and didn't try... but if you were there with me, you could've seen that I tried and just couldn't do it. My way, everything would go on as planned, and we could still be together... you at school, me at home... until I had to head to the minors. We could see each other all the time, and... ya know, things woulda been great."
"Hey, if you ever got into the minor league system, you coulda been sent anywhere! You coulda been sent to Cornfuck, Iowa, and then it wouldn't have been me that split us apart!"
"I know, but we didn't have to be apart... not yet."
"We did... I woulda gone crazy at ASU, especially if you were flunking out and I had turned down USC to be there with you–"
"I know, I know! You're right about everything, okay! That's what I eventually realized, but I was too embarrassed to say anything. I thought you had this great new life in L.A. and probably a hot new boyfriend–"
"New BOYFRIEND?" This time, my voice cracks.
"No new boyfriend, then?" He smiles with relief.
"I don't even know how you could think that," I hold back tears. "I mean... my heart... beats because of you, and you broke it... sorry, that's totally corny." We both laugh a little, cutting the tension.
"I just thought... since you're so hot... and such a great person, that the boys would be all over you."
"Uhh... not exactly. You're not that easy to get over, you doof. Anyway, get on with the girlfriend thing."
"Yeah, that was during my embarrassed stage. I just imagined you were having such a great time without me, and I wanted you to think I was having a great time, too. I said the part about the girlfriend because I knew that would really get you–"
"Yeah, it did."
"And maybe you'd come charging home to win me back...."
"I wanted to come choke the shit out of her!" We laugh again.
"Well, when school started... what actually happened... I had my mind set to actually try at school. I was gonna show everybody and do the whole college thing on my own. I think I went to a grand total of four classes... had no fucking idea what they were saying in any of them. I couldn't concentrate. I just kept thinking about you and how you weren't there and how I had so many chances to show you that I wasn't lazy and that I could try... and then, class would be over, and I'd get absolutely nothing from it. Then, after a while, I just couldn't get out of bed."
"I know that feeling."
"Well, after a couple of weeks, I literally couldn't. My roommate finally told the R.A. that I hadn't moved in two days, and he called 911 and my mom. I got some kind of bacterial infection... I don't know how... I never left the room. I was so sick, I don't even remember anything. One day, I woke up in the hospital with my mom next to me, and I could barely speak."
"Holy shit! Why didn't anyone tell me?!?" I put my arms around him without thinking.
"I made her promise not to tell anyone, cuz I knew it would get back to you somehow. I felt so weak, like a complete failure, and I didn't want you to see me like that... It wasn't a pretty picture."
"Hey, remember I helped you wipe your ass when you broke your ankle–"
"I know, but this was different. Whatever happens, I just didn't want you to have any memories of me like that. I was in the hospital six days, and I lost fifteen pounds."
"Yeah... I've almost gained it all back... been working out and eating again," he flexes his bicep, and I can see it through his sleeve.
"So, did you go back to school?"
"No, I got lucky... They gave me a hardship withdrawal from the quarter, and I didn't lose my scholarship. I would've lost it if I hadn't gotten sick."
"So what did you do?"
"I woulda just stayed in bed all day, but Mom wouldn't let me. She made me get a job. So, I got hired at Trader Joe's as a box boy... just a seasonal job. Then they wanted to train me on the register so I could flirt with all the rich old housewives and old gay dudes."
"I don't blame 'em."
"So, here's my offer." He takes a deep breath and looks up to the sky. "I can transfer to a Trader Joe's somewhere in L.A. and get a tiny apartment. I can start taking some night classes at a J.C. and then maybe transfer to Long Beach State or Cal State Northridge or–"
"No, no... you're not giving up your scholarship. I'll transfer. ASU wanted me once. Now, they'll really want me, even if it's just to lure strength away from USC."
"But, you're all settled in L.A.–"
"I fucking hate it there."
"I can't ask you to–"
Without warning Luke breaks down in tears, followed by a familiar sound that takes me about three seconds to process. He starts simultaneously laughing and crying, making that honking sound that he did that day he pitched his perfect game. All of the memories come flooding back to how happy and relieved he was at that moment when I made that catch, and now he must be feeling the same emotions. We're back together. We're going to work it out. I crumble immediately, and hug him as hard as I possibly can as we both weep and snort and gasp and blubber.
After a few minutes, we release each other and I catch a movement out of the corner of my eye. I look back over at the front window, and our audience ducking and bolting out of sight. Luke and I chuckle as we wipe away some tears.
"I thought I was gonna have to stalk you and work my ass off this entire break to get you back." I smile over at him.
"Me too," he laughs and grabs me and hugs me again. "Mmmmm feels so good to have you in my arms again." After he releases me, he grabs my hand and we just sit for a few minutes in silence, smiling at each other and squeezing each other's hand, trying to decompress and convince ourselves that our reunion isn't imaginary. It feels so good to touch him again. I feel the electricity running between us, and I show him that I still wear my lightning bolt necklace. He shows me his, too.
"I never took it off, even for a day," I say.
"Me neither." A smile creeps across his face. "Hey G,"
"Yeah?" I find his smile to be contagious.
"Do we still have an audience?"
"Yep," I say as I dart a look back at the window.
"I think I'm gonna die if I don't kiss you."
"Well, that would be a shame... right after our reconciliation."
"You wanna... go somewhere?"
"Nah." I straddle his lap like the first time we kissed. His face lights up even more. "They'll stop watching now, and if they wanna keep looking, I don't care."
"Neither do I." He puts his arms carefully and firmly around my back. Damn, it's nice to feel his hard dick pressed up against mine. Even through our clothes, I can feel the heat. I glance back at the window, and sure enough, everyone is gone... or watching from some other place, but all I care about right now is my mouth on Luke's.
"Are you ready for this?" I have to tease for a minute, touching his lip with my thumb, taking in all of the physical sensations.
"Uh huh." He rubs his hands over my back with that big, irresistible smile.
"It's gonna be pretty intense... I mean, you just got out of the hospital 'n all... maybe we should wait for you to regain the rest of your strength." I pretend like I'm climbing off of him, but he tightens his grip around my back. I run my fingers through his hair for a second, and he starts trembling. "Dang, you ARE kinda weak... maybe this isn't a good idea–"
"No, no," he whispers as he chuckles and his cheeks blush. "I'm not shaking because I'm weak... I'm shaking because I'm about to cum! You woke up the sleeping giant."
"Well, in that case...." I slowly lean in and gently press my lips to his. He grabs the back of my neck and thrusts his tongue against mine and we both moan as a seven-month thirst is finally quenched. It doesn't take long for us to erupt in our shorts. The waves of pleasure pulse through my entire body as we really reconcile. I laugh at the orgasms I've had recently, trying desperately to jerk one out so I'll be exhausted enough to fall asleep... often failing... often crying. This one is a little different.
As we come down, our lips remain locked, and our motions become less desperate. Luke takes a deep breath through his nose and sighs with total contentment. I slowly and deeply massage his lips with mine, and lick his tongue up and down, reuniting those neglected lovers. We continue to reconnect, losing all track of time, our crotches wet and slimy from the cum explosion. I don't care though. I'll kiss him for as long as he wants. I'll kiss him all night long. I'll kiss him until people start gathering around us tomorrow. I'll kiss him forever. Oops, maybe not. He pushes me back slightly as he runs his hands up my chest.
"How was that?" I ask, stroking his hair again.
"Hmmm... can't find the words. At least I know I won't have to go without that ever again." I rock side to side on him, feeling my sensitive dick slide around my cummy underwear. "Squishy!" he says, and we chuckle.
"Mmmmm...." I close my eyes. "I've missed the way your dick cums."
"I've missed the way my dick cums, too." He laughs through the sentence.
"I bet you have." I hump him slightly.
"'Member when I'd be lovin' you for hours... lovin' you sooo deep and soooooo right? Fuck, it felt so good, and you'd make me cum so hard, I'd lose my mind!"
"Then I'd feel it inside of me... I liked to think that it was your love, warming me and spreading inside of me, and I'd squirt all over our tummies–"
"I loved that... I LOVED making you cum. " I can feel a rise coming back from his shorts again.
"But then you wouldn't stop kissing me. That was my favorite part. We'd be totally breathless and exhausted, but you just kept kissing me... like you couldn't stop."
"I couldn't... it was impossible... you know why?"
"Cuz I love you soooooo much."
"Love you more." I try not to cry, but a couple of tears escape. Luke warmly wipes them away with his thumb.
"So...," he smiles as he rubs his hands up my thighs. "You wanna go fuck in the car?" We laugh.
"Can we go back to your place?" I jump off of him and we scamper towards my car, looking around for more possible onlookers.
"You sure you can go? Doesn't your family want to see you?"
"Uhh… they'll understand." We hop in the car and suddenly, we're on the road back to Luke's, just like the good old days.
"I just thought of something," he says nervously. "If you transfer to ASU, that means you'll be ineligible to play all of next season."
"Well, we'll have to think of something else to do instead."
"Yeah, maybe we can… since we'll be together."
On the way to his place, I tell him my story and embellish on my misery without him at school. I leave out jerking off my roommate. Maybe that's a story for another day.
"Only you could be miserable and depressed and still get straight-A's!"
"School and football were nice distractions. Sometimes I'd even forget that I hadn't been laid in months."
"I couldn't even think about that…. I'd fucking crumble." Luke leans over and kisses me on the cheek and I almost drive off the road. It feels so new and electric, all over again. This is going to be a great winter break.
I pull in the parking lot and into my usual spot, smiling like an idiot. We rush upstairs and burst in the door. Just like old times, Denise is sitting in her recliner sipping a glass of wine.
"Well, that didn't take long!" she laughs. "You guys already reek of sex!"
"Get used to it," Luke says, still smiling.
"I am used to it," she counters.
"Hi Denise." My face reddens and I try to obscure the cum stain that I had almost forgotten.
"It's good to see you, Garrett." She smiles and then wipes away a tear of her own.
"We've gotta make up for some lost time, so–" Luke starts towards the bedroom, but I make a dash for the bathroom. "Aww shit! Not that!"
"I'll be out in a few minutes!" There's no way I'll let anything ruin what's about to happen. I need to be squeaky clean, inside and out before I get into bed with him. Luckily my butt sex prep drawer is still intact in his bathroom, and I go through my usual routine, followed by a quick shower.
"Hey, let me IN!" Luke pounds on the door.
"Gimme a couple more minutes!" I call out over the sound of the water.
"Just lemme sit in there with you while… you do your stuff."
"Your only job is to be ready for me when I get to your bed." I can't stop smiling.
"Okay, fine," he sighs and I quickly finish up.
I run quickly to his bedroom, trying to obscure my hard-on with a thin towel.
"Good night, Garrett," Denise says, not looking up from her magazine.
I quietly let myself into Luke's room, which is dimly lit by his reading lamp covered with his red t-shirt. He's naked, lying on his bed. His dick is glistening with lube.
"Man, I missed this place," I say, climbing in his bed next to him. "Lemme have a glob of that."
"You have no idea how much I've missed you," he says quietly.
"Uhh… I think I have an idea," I say, pressing some lube up my hole.
"Yeah, maybe you do." Luke climbs on top of me and stares into my eyes. "I'm afraid this is going to kill me…. I've waited so long."
"Only one way to find out."
He bites his lip as he presses his dick inside of me. A large wave of pleasure washes over his face as it slides in with relative ease. I moan and take a deep breath once he gets it all the way in.
"Still fits," I say, trying not to giggle.
"Yeah." He takes a few more deep breaths. "Did it always feel this good?"
"Yeah, every time," I whisper. I'm ready to get kissed. Still, Luke is hesitating. He's staring into my eyes, and eventually a tear runs down his cheek.
"No, no!" I try to wipe it away, but another drips down, and another. "We already did the crying part, remember? It's time for the loving part."
"I'm such a fuck-up. I don't deserve this," he says, trying to stop his own tears.
"Yes you do, and so do I." Now, my own tears are flowing.
"I don't deserve a second chance. Most people… billions and billions of people don't even get a first chance at this, and I fucked it up."
"You didn't… I was part of it, too."
"It's just that… right from the very beginning, we were like, 'I love you! I love you! I love you more! No, I love you more!' And then, your birthday happened, and we pledged to each other that we'd be together forever. I guess that's when I started taking you for granted. I thought there was nothing that I could do that would ever break us up, so I just thought I could do whatever I wanted and be as lazy as I wanted… but what I should have done, was to earn that love every day. From now on, I'm going to earn it. I'm going to be worthy of our love. I promise." We finally press our lips together.
I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in with encouragement. It's what keeps me writing. This was my first attempt at writing anything, and many times, I didn't like what I was coming up with and wanted to quit. Getting fan emails makes a huge difference. I encourage everyone to write to their favorite authors. Tell them what you liked about their story, not just, "I really like your story."
My idea when beginning this story was to write about a boy with an obsessive crush, because I believe it's a common thing we go through as teens and sometimes later in life. It's the kind of crush that will get you out of the bed in the morning when nothing else will... because you know sometime during that day, you'll see him. Then, I thought, what if two hot teens had that same crush on each other, and since I love baseball dudes... well, the rest is history. I agree that it's not particularly realistic, but my hope is that my readers (and I) could live vicariously through G and Luke. The story is really about experiencing joy, and I tried to limit the obstacles and heartache so that I could quickly get back to the good stuff.
I hope that readers could finish a chapter, feeling happy (and horny), and not feeling down and hopeless. I know it's easy to think, "I'll never have anything like that." Well, no one has anything like that! Sure, most of us go through our teen years alone... lots of pain and masturbation, but things do get better! If you're a teen reader, I hope you realize this as you read love stories and don't get mired in the muck.
Even though the story is over, please continue to write in. I have future works in mind, and can send updates to when they're coming out if you're interested. Thanks again!
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