Rock and a Hard Place
Prisons Without Bars
Warning! This story is a work of fiction written by a legal age adult. Any similarity between the fictional characters and any live person is purely coincidental. This story contains fictional descriptions of sexual activity between consenting minor youth. If you are under the age of 18, and/or if you are offended by this content, and/or if it is illegal in your jurisdiction to possess or read such material, please leave now and do not read this story as neither the internet host nor the author can be responsible for your actions. Please, always practice safe sex; no momentary thrill is worth your life.
Special thanks to my editors, Pablo, Flip, Smallfox, and Lisa for their valuable help and input.
When the doctor left, I looked at my mother standing by my bedside with her arms crossed. "Mom, why can't I go to the dance. I have a date already lined up. It would be wrong to bail on her."
"Her or him?" my mom asked, lifting her brows.
"HER! Oh my God, I can't believe you said that."
"Gina. She works in the office at school. She's the one with the short brown hair and pretty smile. You probably saw her when you took me to school on the day of the debate meet. She's the one who invited me to the girl's choice dance. "
"Well. Perhaps I'll give it some consideration."
"Really? Thanks. Dad agreed to drive us all to the dance and then let us hang out at our house after the dance. It's all arranged."
"Exactly who is 'all of us'?"
"It's gonna be me, Scotty, Kirk, William and our dates."
"Oh, no. I don't like that group at all, and I don't approve of you going back to our house. Those gangsters could still be watching it. If I let you go at all, it will be with you and your date alone."
"Mom," I whined. "We have it all planned out. Dad will be there with us. It's not like we'll be unsupervised."
"Discussion is over. I do not approve of your choice of friends. You get some rest and I'll be back tomorrow." She leaned over the bedrail and brushed my forehead with a gentle swipe of her hand and touched my cheek. I feigned a smile over my gritted teeth. As she turned to leave, I called after her.
"Mom, did the police give you back my things?"
"Yes." She twisted her expression into a disdainful look and added, "Including your 'soiled' clothing. Ugh."
I felt embarrassed at that obvious reference to my urine stained underwear, but forged on, "Well then, will you bring me my cell phone when you come back? There's a ton of peeps I need to call and text."
Without looking back she said, "Not happening. You do not need a cell phone in the hospital. You're here to recuperate not socialize. Besides, I don't approve of the friends you wish to text. I've been reading over some of your texts and let's just say, they're very disappointing." She pulled open the door, wheeled around, flashed me a wicked smile and disappeared.
"Arrrgh!" I groaned. I grabbed my urine bottle and wound up. It was ¾ full causing me to stop at the top of my windup, not wanting to punish the hospital staff for my mother's bitchiness, plus I didn't want to piss off my nurse, so to speak. I hung my bottle back on the rail in a huff and thumped my head into my pillow a few times in frustration.
I realized that was just a small taste of the hell I was in for. Living with my mother was going to be a nightmare – a prison without bars. For one thing, I didn't even know where she lived and how far out of town it would be. I didn't even know if she lived in a small apartment or a house. I wondered about this Reverend Rick guy and if he'd be hanging around a lot. I really had no idea what lay ahead for me. I just knew it wasn't going to be good.
I watched Two and ½ Men on TV and then some crime drama. In between, they brought me a tray of soft foods because of my throat. It consisted of watery soup broth, fake mashed potatoes with coagulating, grayish brown gravy, purple Jell-O, juice, and a banana. I ate all the Jell-O and the banana and about half of the soup. I couldn't gag the potatoes down. When the evening news came on, I watched to see if there was any mention of the events at Juvey. There was nothing. I suppose a gang banger dying in custody isn't exactly news unless it's a very, very slow news day. I turned it off and tried to fall asleep. I just kept fuming over my mom's rudeness and my father's stupidity.
I was awakened a couple of times by the nurse taking my vital signs. The night nurse was smoking hot, even to a sleepy, self declared gay guy. She was runway model material with long blonde hair framing her tan face with high cheek bones and red full lips that curved into a natural smile. She had a trim figure with perfectly proportioned breasts and a shapely ass. I peered at her through droopy eyelids and then spent the next forty-five minutes to an hour trying to clear the demons from my head again before I could fall back to sleep. I actually reevaluated my acceptance of being gay for the first time in a long while. I thought about Scotty and my feelings for him. I was relieved that thoughts of Scotty triggered physical reactions in my groin while thoughts about my nurse were simply admiration for her beauty. I worried that the gang might really come after me and even Bull or Pablo. Each time the door opened, I could see the cop's replacement sitting just outside my door in a red vinyl, visitor chair like the one next to my bed. He looked seriously bored and I bet he dozed off sometimes. The smell of the room's sanitary cleanser was strong in my nostrils and burned at the back of my throat.
I wondered over and over about life with my mother. I decided that I would humor her as much as possible and hold my dad to his promise that he would get me back from her as soon as possible. I couldn't understand why she had such a problem with me hanging out with Scotty or with William. William was as harmless of a friend as any friend could be, and she scarcely knew Scotty. I was puzzled. I hoped she would reconsider the dance. I didn't want to stand Gina up and I really wanted to go to the Fall Formal and be involved with the decorating. Mostly, I wanted to be with Scotty.
I worried if it was still okay for me get skewered by Scotty after the dance considering my injured balls. Jacking off went okay, so I figured taking it up the ass would be okay too as long as he was careful not to squish my balls or hump too wildly on me. I thought and thought of a way to ask a doctor about it without being obvious what I was really asking about. I was drawing a blank on that one. I thought maybe I could get William to ask it for me. No one would ever think it was odd coming from him. I chuckled at that thought, but knew I wouldn't ever really dare put him up to it. I even considered asking my dad's advice since I was pretty sure he knew what I was up to with Scotty.
Finally, light peeked through my window and I was awakened for vitals once again and to introduce me to the change in nursing staff. My new nurse was an older, stern looking woman who actually wore an old fashioned nurse's hat. That couldn't be a good sign, as far as I was concerned. I suspected she wouldn't be all that pleasant. When she said in a very firm voice, "If you need your urine bottle emptied, press the call button," I knew the story of my little tantrum had made its way around the staff, and I felt embarrassed over it but relieved I'd controlled myself the second time. The young, hot nurse, whose shift was over, smiled and wished me well as she left me in the clutches of the old bag. I mean that quite literally since the old, sour faced nurse had already jerked my covers down and pulled my gown up without any warning and had a gloved handful of my ball bag in her clutches, turning it about and examining the stitching. I winced when she tugged a bit too hard on my tender balls. Without speaking, she dropped my balls and made some notes on the computer without covering me up.
"Does it look all right down there?" I asked hopeful.
"The doctor will discuss your condition with you," she replied. "Do you have your breakfast menu completed?"
"I never got one." Nurse Crabbyface snorted through her scowl and marched out. Minutes turned into hours as the morning droned on. My generic breakfast finally showed up around nine o'clock consisting of Cream of Wheat, which I despise, another banana, milk, juice and cold toast. Yuck. I was going to get sick of bananas if I had them for every meal. Besides the fact that bananas bind me up, I normally like them. Before eating it, I carved it into the shape of a dick and pretended it was Scotty's boner. I got boned up myself as I sensually slid the banana in and out of my mouth as if sucking him off. I felt a little guilty when I actually bit the head off and ate it.
I had nothing to read, daytime TV sucked, and I felt like my right arm was missing without my phone. It was like solitary confinement. My throat was feeling significantly better and even the pain in my balls was mostly gone. I was way ready to get out of there. I tried to call out on my phone but the recorded message informed that was not allowed. My back ached and itched and the IV in my arm was seriously annoying. When the old nurse finally returned with an armload of clean sheets for my bed, I was jubilant. She had me stand up and it felt so good to do so. I pressed my hands into the small of my back and bent backwards. Standing, the weight of my heavy balls dangling down caused some resurgence of pain to my stitched up area, but it was worth the pain for a chance to stand up. Still, it felt like I had massive, heavy, steel ball bearings tugging on my sac.
The nurse helped me out of my gown and into a fresh one, and I felt a little exposed in front of her since she was so old. I don't know why it bothered me to be naked in front of her since she had already personally handled my junk, but it just seemed odd to be exposed like that. So, I held my hands over my privates to block her view. She paid absolutely no attention and after she tied my fresh gown up in back, she asked me to walk around the room a bit. When she saw I was stable on my feet, she instructed me to walk around the hallway while she changed my sheets. It felt wonderful to stretch my legs and I pulled my IV cart along with me as I headed out the door. The recently replaced cop jumped up and followed me around the hallway.
"So what are you in for?" The young looking cop asked. I looked at his badge and read, "Milsap."
"I had to get my balls sewn back on and my windpipe was sort of crushed."
The cop looked at me oddly and then clarified his question, "I meant what you are in custody for? What crime did you commit?"
I was a little shocked that he was so uninformed. "Driving without a license."
"Yeah, right. Auto theft you mean?"
"No, seriously, Officer Milsap. I'm charged with driving without a license and it was even my grandpa's car."
"You stole your grandpa's car? Why?"
"Oh my God, are you related to a kid named Pablo, by chance."
"Who? No. Why?"
"Never mind." I started to tell him the story as we walked and he listened intently asking questions along the way. He was particularly interested in my story about Lenny and the guy in the Beemer. He said the area I'd been chased in was part of his regular patrol area. When he found out, I'd actually almost got my balls cut off by a gang leader in Juvey, he grew serious.
"Kid, watch your back for a while. These guys are bad news. No wonder I'm on watch. Shit, it pisses me off when they don't fill me in on details like this."
When I returned, I sat in the red vinyl chair and waited for the nurse to finish up making the bed. She untied my strings in back except for the one around my neck, and I slid into the nice clean sheets. The crisp clean linen felt good against my skin. To my surprise, the old nurse offered to rub some lotion on my sore, itchy back and so I rolled over and let her apply it. It felt very nice, though it seemed a bit odd having her touch me like that. She was old enough to be my grandma, after all. When she finished, I rolled back over and she made another inspection of my testicles. I was thinking I might have to buy her dinner if she kept this kind of treatment up.
As my body heat warmed my spot in the bed, I resumed worrying about the gang, life with my mother, my friends, and the Fall Formal decorating and dance. I worried how I would get William and Brenda to the dance if mom wouldn't let Dad drive us. I worried about seeing Scotty and what would happen to my wrestling and debate spots. I wanted to text so many people and was frustrated without my phone. I skipped around the TV channels and watched a couple of South American soccer teams play on the Spanish channel out of desperation. Hearing the Spanish commentary made the hair on my neck stand up slightly as the sportscaster's voice reminded me a bit of Renaldo's. A cold chill ran over my spine and my butthole reflexively clenched as I thought of lying in Bull's sleeper hold while Renaldo jabbed his ugly boner into my crack.
Finally, the floor doctor came in and checked me over. He told me things looked fine but that I had a bit of a fever and until that was down, I was stuck in the hospital. I groaned. He shrugged, apologized and scurried off. I kept looking at the clock. I figured my friends would start showing up around 5:00 after wrestling practice. Although, I thought William and Brenda might come sooner. I thought maybe others from the debate and wrestling teams might also show up. I got discouraged when it hit 6:00 pm and no one had shown up or even called on the hospital phone. I'll be honest, my feelings were hurt. At 7:00, the nursing staff shift changed again and the hot blonde was back. I thanked the older nurse for being so nice to me and she actually smiled a bit. I'd given up on visitors and was feeling some major self pity and complained to the young nurse about it.
"Didn't you know? Your mother restricted all visitors to just herself and your father."
"No, I didn't know, but that explains things. Still, I thought they'd call me."
"Well, no, we're instructed to intercept all calls to your room and only your parents are allowed through on the phone." She looked empathetically at me. "Pretty boring day, I bet."
"That's a major understatement."
"I'm sorry. Anything you need? Dinner will be here soon." I thought about asking for another back rub, but I decided against it. I thought maybe I'd ask for one just before I went to sleep. She left and I fell back into worrying about things I could do nothing about, mostly just for something to do.
I heard the sound of my door latch and looked up, expecting my dinner. Instead, to my great surprise, it was Scotty dressed in a white lab coat and white pants with a yellow plastic tray full of glass vials. "What the hell?" I asked.
He smiled sheepishly and said, "Excuse me sir, I'm here to extract a semen sample for the lab. Is that okay with you?"
"Shut up you freak. How did you manage to get in here like that? I can't believe you did this. This is totally amazing."
"They told me you couldn't have any visitors, and I suspected your mother was behind it. I can tell she doesn't like me, though, I'm really not sure why."
"Because she's a miserable bitch, that's why. If I like someone then she feels a need to dislike them. I can't believe I'm getting stuck living with her. I hope it's not longer than a week or two at the most. But seriously, how did you pull this off, getting in here dressed like that?"
"When they told me no visitors or even phone calls to your room, I went home and put on my white pants and a plain white t-shirt like I'd seen lab guys wearing around here yesterday. When I got here I just followed another family through the door downstairs and then I wasn't exactly sure of my plan after that. I walked around a while looking for a way to get a lab coat and then I saw a guy pushing a cart full of linens. I followed him to the first floor and there in the hallway, they had a bunch of these carts lined up on the wall. I waited for the coast to clear, and I snagged this lab coat out of one and then walked right up to your nurses station. There were four or five of these plastic trays on the shelf in a closet next to the linens and other supplies and I took one. When I walked past your nurse, the blonde one built like my sister, she did a double take and I'm pretty sure she recognized me, but she just kind of smiled and looked away. I thought for sure I was busted and would get hauled off to Juvey myself. I was nervous about going past the cop outside too, but he never even gave me a second glance."
"Oh my God, drop your pants and let me see your balls. You must have grown a third one or something. I swear I've corrupted you."
"Oh hell yes, you've definitely corrupted me. But hey, I couldn't let you just lay here thinking I didn't care about you. I had to let you know I was thinking about you and still love you. So how are you doing, anyway? You gonna get out of here soon?"
"I got a small fever so they're making me stay. It's so boring all day and my stupid mom won't even let me have my phone. By the way, she might not let me go to the Fall Formal either."
"That sucks. You probably got a zillion messages on your phone. You probably have a hundred or so from Gina wanting to know what's up with the dance. If you want I'll talk to her for you."
"Thanks, but the problem is, I don't even know for sure what to have you tell her until I get a final decision from my mom. I'm pretty sure that even if I do get to go, the after-party at my house is off and you guys will all have to find other rides. Can you make sure William has a ride?"
"Sure, no worries, I'll cover it," Scotty agreed. Then he brightened up and asked, "Oh, guess what?"
"What?" I responded.
"I got in touch with Dig's personal wrestling coach and he agreed to take me on and train with me. I'm so excited. I swear, I'm going to college on a scholarship."
"That's great. Dude, you will totally take place in state now. I was so impressed with your last meet. You were zoned in."
"I'm so glad you came. And thanks for helping me with getting rides for William and Brenda. That's a huge load off my mind. I've been stressing about leaving him hanging, you know. I think this dance is majorly important to him now that he and Brenda have hit it off so good."
"You're so amazing. Here you are lying in bed with your ball sac sewn back together after nearly getting raped and killed by a violent gang in Juvey and you're worried about William getting to the dance. That's what I love about you. Who would have dreamed that you could be reformed from a complete ass into a total softy?" Scotty leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and we melted into a tender, sensual kiss. We broke our kiss and he planted a final one on my forehead then smiled so sweetly at me. I saw the look in his eyes. It made me shudder with joy. It was love. Real, honest love. It was the way his father and mother looked at each other.
"You fill me up. You give me hope and make me believe I can do anything. I love you. Hug me." Scotty lowered the railing to my bed and I slid off to stand up next to it, being very careful not to pull the annoying IV out of my arm. He slipped his strong arms around me and I sighed audibly as his hands spread under my gown, over my bare back. He was careful not to brush up against my sensitive balls by arching his back slightly and pushing his cute ass out away from him. I smiled at the sweetness of how considerate he was being. He gave me his signature hug that was unique to him. He always finds the small of my back with his right hand and his left one cups my shoulder blade. Then, when he is in place, he presses in and out with his fingertips in a light massaging action. I wished he was naked so I could press my hands against his bare skin, but just holding him over his clothes and being held by him was immensely therapeutic. I breathed in the familiar smell of his musky cologne and kissed the base of his neck. Scotty let his right hand wander down over my ass cheek and gave it a playful squeeze. I moaned as my dick pressed against his thigh, and I had to wiggle around a bit to allow its engorged length to rise all the way up against my stomach.
"You doing okay?" he asked, concerned for my well being.
"Nuh-uh. I'm way past doing okay. I'm into mind blowing, awesome territory right now."
"So about that semen sample I told you I needed, are you up to it?"
I stepped back, lifted my gown to expose my throbbing boner. "Yeah, looks like I'm definitely up to it." I sat back on the bed and leaned back on my elbows. "Go for it, doc."
"Not like this, you dork. What if someone comes in? Lay back down." He helped me lay back in the bed but close to the edge. Scotty pulled the privacy curtain along the edge of my bed to prevent anyone peeking in the small window in the door. Scotty pulled the sheet up to just under my balls and pulled my gown down over where my missing pubes would be. He smiled at me, lifted my dick off my stomach and licked around the bulging, hot tip. I closed my eyes and moaned in delight as he tickled the sensitive spot on the underside of my dickhead. Then I clutched a handful of my bed sheets as he expertly slipped his patented, oral extraction device over my throbbing dick. He sucked and slobbered over my aching bone driving me wild with lustful desire. I opened my eyes and watched as this boy I loved so much worked hard to pleasure me.
He pushed a little too deeply and his chin pressed into my sore balls causing me to wince and he quickly pulled off. "Oh Kyle, I'm so sorry. Am I hurting you?"
I grabbed the back of his head and pushed him back toward my hot, throbbing rod. I was so sexed up and desperately wanted him sucking me off. "No, just don't go that deep. I need it bad, dude. Suck me, Scotty. Suck me again now." He smiled and succumbed to the pressure I was applying to the back of his head and suctioned me back into his extraction machine. I reached over and grabbed his rigid banana through his white jeans squeezing it in time to his sucking motion.
As the euphoric ripples of pleasure overtook me, I bucked my hips slightly into his silky smooth mouth. He paused to swallow my first scorching blast of white hot semen. Four powerful semen samples later, I was physically spent and panting heavily while he drew the last of my oozing sample into his mouth. It's good I wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor or they would have come running in with the crash cart. He let my whimpering dick slip from his extractor and gently wiped me dry with the sheet which he then pulled up over my chest.
"Thanks. That was amazing. I love you," I whispered.
He smiled. "I love you too, Kyle. I'm so …" He choked up. "I'm so glad you're okay."
He took my hand in his and caressed the back of it with his thumb. We just stared into each other's eyes for a long while sharing our feelings without speaking. I felt indescribable peace and joy. The magic of the moment was interrupted with the clacking of the large door.
The curtain at the foot of my bed was pulled aside. I looked up and said, "Hi Mom."
"Hello Kyle. How are you feeling?" She asked kindly. Scotty grabbed his plastic tray and spun away outside the curtain by my headboard, moving over to the sink. He bent over and began washing his hands as my mom approached my bed and slid the curtain all the back to the wall. She ignored Scotty, in her usual way, scarcely looking towards him. He kept his head down and continued washing his hands.
"I'm feeling bored; that's how I'm feeling," I said.
"Physically, how are you feeling?"
"I feel stiff all over right now." Scotty let out a stifled snort and intensified his hand washing. I added, "Plus, I'm seriously bored stiff. I actually feel fine physically, but the doctor says I have a little fever and he wants me to stay until they're sure I don't have any infection. I got up and walked around some today and that felt good. I really feel okay, Mom. You should see it, it's healing so good. I think I should go home even if I do have a little fever." To make sure Mom was distracted for Scotty's escape, I pulled my sheet down and exposed my semi-boned dick and stitched up balls to my mother. As I'd hoped, she leaned in, curious for a closer look while Scotty slipped out the door, giving me a wink and a wave. If I'd only known what was about to happen, I would have sprung from the bed and run away with him.
"Well perhaps you can come home tomorrow then."
"I hope so. I'll go crazy in here. Please bring me my phone. I'm dying without it. I need to get my school assignments and keep up. If I had my phone, I could get Scotty or William to bring them to me and it would give me something useful to do while I'm lying around in here. I kept expecting them to come visit, but I guess they got delayed." I was curious if she would admit to restricting my visitors.
"Kyle, you don't need your school assignments because you won't be going back to that school. You shouldn't be concerned that your 'supposed' school friends haven't visited since you'll make new ones, better ones, at your new school. I went to your old school this morning and filled the principal, Mrs. Matthews, in on the events of this weekend and withdrew you. I also spoke with that nice young girl, Gina, in the office. She asked me to let you know that she will not be able to attend the Fall Formal dance with you. Her parents would not approve of your gang involvement and they'll forbid her to be with you, so I took care of that problem and that settles the whole dance thing."
I started to object, but she continued almost without a breath, so I couldn't get a word in edgewise, "Mrs. Matthews and your wrestling coach were actually quite relieved that you would not be coming back after hearing of your gang connection. The only one who seemed bothered by the news was your debate coach, Mrs. Jones. She looked very disturbed by the news. I suppose you must be a good debater. That seems like a worthy pursuit to me, especially to help you get into law school. So anyway, this afternoon, I enrolled you into a new school. A good Christian, all boys' school near where we live that Reverend Rick serves on the board for. I checked with your student counselor and they have an excellent debate team that you can join." Mom put on her artificial smile, all proud of herself.
I gaped at her, slack jawed and wide eyed in exasperation, as she spilled her guts to me about her full day of meddling. I could tell from her voice that she knew I was gonna be pissed and she was selling it hard and acting all sweet and concerned for me. Since Scotty had already warned me this was coming, I'd prepared some arguments of my own.
"Mom, where do you get off doing all that without talking to me? And how could you give them the impression I was involved in a gang? I have a good chance to win the state championship with William as my debate partner. That would be huge on a resume for law school. I'm getting straight A's and if I change schools, you never know what I might end up with. And how dare you ruin my reputation with Gina and my coach? I don't care if you talked to my principal, when this all blows over and I go back with Dad, I'm going back to my old school and I'm going back with my friends and I will go back to wrestling. You don't get to control my life. It's my life and I get a say in it. I'm not your fucking puppet or puppy dog." I was struggling to bridle my anger. I was seething inside.
My mother's artificial smile faded and anger flashed in her eyes. "No, you don't get a say. You are a minor child and I am your mother, and I will decide what's best for you. You've clearly made a mess of things in your life with your father's help and because of the horrible choice in friends you've made. I'm going to fix you. You'll thank me later. And you absolutely won't be seeing your friends anymore especially not that Scotty creep. I will not have you cavorting around with those freaks engaging in God only knows what kind of unnatural and immoral behavior. You think it's funny to vandalize property and steal signs. You call that fun? It's just lucky that I have a chance to save you now."
"What are you saying? You've gone mad. You're hallucinating."
"Hallucinating, am I? I happen to know more than you think I do. I know you've done more than just vandalizing property with your hoodlum buddies. I know you've been brainwashed into performing unnatural sex acts with that Scotty fellow and that disgusting boy, William, too I suspect. Well, I'll not have their polluting influence in your life anymore. You'll see. Once you're free of their hold on you, you'll be relieved and able to return to being the old Kyle I know and love. You'll see how much happier your life will be with me."
I was dumbfounded. How did she know about me and Scotty? It had to be my phone. I racked my brain for any text messages I might have left on it, but I didn't think I'd said anything to let her in on that. But that must have been it. I started to deny it, but it was true and I could tell she knew it somehow. Then I thought about what I had told my dad. I hadn't really told him that Scotty and I had sex, but maybe when he took Scotty to school, Scotty spilled his guts because afterward my dad told me how much he thought Scotty was good for me. That had to be it. "Damn him and his loose lips," I thought. Plus, just the way Scotty and I texted to each other, jokingly calling each other hot stuff and cutie pie sometimes, my mom probably read into those messages. Since I couldn't deny it, I decided to own it.
"I'm not brainwashed. I'm actually gay. Deal with it. I love Scotty and he loves me and I'm not giving him up. Period."
"You know nothing of what love is. You're just confused by his immoral advances on you. Rolling around in nothing but stretchy underwear grabbing at other boys in that horrible wrestling sport was bound to affect your psychological balance. Reverend Rick agrees that was my mistake with you. I never should have let your father talk me into permitting you to do that horrible sport. You'll get over it, though. You'll see. Reverend Rick and I will heal you. If this Scotty loves you so much, why didn't he come back to visit you today?"
"Because you put me in solitary confinement! He does love me and I love him!"
"No you don't. You're just young and confused. You have no strong male role model in your life, but Reverend Rick will be able to provide that for you."
"Bull-fucking-shit!" I yelled, "You're the one who has no idea what love is. I've seen real love over at Scotty's house. His parents are completely in love with each other. It's in their eyes and their little acts of tenderness. You're just a bitter, miserable bitch, impossible to please and determined to make everyone around you as miserable as you are. You ruined your marriage and destroyed Dad in the process. He still loves you and it's tearing him up that you've left him. He makes believe he's having sex with you in his bedroom at night and tells his pillow how much he loves you while he fucks it, imagining it's you. How sad is that? He just wanted to try and please you and make all this stupid fucking money that you wanted, just so you could show off with it and then you just spit in his face. I've seen real love in Scotty's eyes when he looks at me and felt it when we hold each other. I love him and I hate you."
The late-shift cop burst through the door to see what all the yelling was about just as my mother slapped me hard across the face. "HEY!" he boomed, "Move away from the bed, Mrs. Davis." She spun and glared at the cop.
"He is my son. You will NOT tell me what to do."
"He's in my protective custody and I damn well will tell you what to do when it comes to protecting him." The cop advanced quickly toward her and she stepped back against my bedrail in shocked surprise at his approach. Her back rolled over the rail and she lost her footing as the large officer grabbed her left arm. She thrust her right arm out to steady her fall and pressed all of her falling weight directly onto my testicles. A burning explosion burst in my crotch and I screamed in pain. "Get off me. Oh God, get off!" I pulled the sheet down and stared at my bleeding ball sac where her weight had caused the stitches to tear through the tender skin. I lifted the torn skin slightly and actually saw what I assumed was my left nut. Blood was oozing from the tear, but it wasn't gushing or anything.
I slammed my thumb into the call button repeatedly. "Oh God, Oh God, what the hell's the matter with you? You're a fucking walking disaster," I screamed at my mother. Mom was too busy yelling at the cop and accusing him of causing the problem to even pay any attention to me. The cop ignored her and rushed out to holler for the nurse to come quickly. I was freaking out, staring at my opened wound and cursing at my mother. My mom kept yelling at me to watch my mouth and stop overreacting. The cop grabbed her arm and dragged her aside to make room for the nurse.
The nurse immediately called for the doctor then worked to stem the bleeding. Soon, two orderlies came in and slid me onto a gurney and I was wheeled back into a procedure room for another stitching. Once the staff had things sort of in control and were calm around me, I also calmed down. Because it wasn't as much of a tear, and I guess because I didn't have any other trauma, they just localized it, smeared more mustard yellow germ killer goop around it, and then pulled my dick and balls through a hole in the middle of a blue paper towel thing. I was allowed to stay awake and watch.
The doctor pinched my sac and dick and asked if I felt anything.
"No, it's numb. It seems really weird to see you touching it but not feeling anything. It's usually so sensitive."
"I bet it does seem odd. Are you interested in seeing what your testicle looks like or would that upset you?"
"Yeah, I'd definitely like to see it. Cool." He actually held the flap open and slid my left nut up near the hole. His male nurse supported me as I rose up to look. He had a bright light shining on it and I could see the pale pink membrane covering the multitude of thin strands all bunched together like tiny spaghetti. He pointed out the darker red mass that was the epididymis. He reached in with a hook-like instrument and pulled out a section of the vas deferens tube and inspected it. Then the nurse lowered me back down and the doctor started sewing. I felt tugs but no pain. He was a jovial, talkative guy with a comforting manner and shining eyes.
"It looks nice and clean in there. Considering all the trauma you've had, it looks very normal inside. You're fortunate. You could have easily lost your jewels from all of this. If your vas deferens cord had been cut, it's possible to reattach them, but the outcome is uncertain. Fixing up a torn scrotum is not such a big deal. Yesterday, I had a guy come in who had been doing some woodcarving while sitting around in just his boxers and the knife slipped off the wood block and sliced his sizable penis nearly off. It was just dangling there. Now that was a challenge to reattach. I think he'll give that carving hobby up. I know I would. I couldn't tell for sure, but I almost got the impression that his wife was disappointed I was able to put it back on. I guess they've been married long enough that she's lost interest in sex. You're too young to even comprehend that could ever happen."
"No I'm not." I said, thinking of my own mother.
"Hmm. Well, that's why I married a younger woman. I told my wife when she turned forty, I was going to trade her in on two twenty year olds. She got even by telling me that when she turned forty, I wouldn't be wired for 220." I could tell he was smiling under his mask. The male nurse chuckled and it made me laugh too until he said, "Oops, I shouldn't make you laugh. I slipped and stitched your foreskin to your scrotum. I hope that won't bother you."
"What?" I tried to sit up but the nurse held me down and shook his head in obvious amusement and letting me know the doctor was kidding.
"Just kidding, of course. You'll be good as new in two weeks. I'd give it a few days before testing the equipment again, though. I saw in your chart that you did a successful test run yesterday, so everything is in working order, I guess. This is just a small setback and nothing to worry about. Okay? You're going to be back to a completely normal, functional set of sex organs."
"It says that in my chart?" I asked, surprised the young doctor had put that in there.
"Sure. The doctor observed obvious signs of your, umm, self manipulation test. It's an important thing to note, given your reason for visiting us here."
"I guess. Just kind of embarrassing to think about everyone reading that, you know?"
"I assure you that none of the medical staff will be shocked or surprised that a fifteen year old male lying around having his genitals touched, prodded and peeked at would be motivated to test the equipment out. And, be sure that no one would ever divulge that information outside of a medical need to know." He snipped the last stitch and set the instruments on the tray. "All done. Take care of yourself, young man and please don't worry about your body. You will be fine and fully capable of fathering a large litter someday."
"You're very welcome."
I was wheeled into a recovery area for a short time and then back to my room. The cop walked alongside as I went back to my room and I thanked him for helping me out. He was very modest about it saying it was why he was there – to protect me.
When I was settled back in my room, the cop sat next to me and asked,"I know it's none of my business, but what was going on between you and your mother?"
"She's impossible. She's divorcing my dad and meddling in my life. I'm not a bad kid but bad things keep happening to me. It's like I get punished every time I try to do something good. I don't get that."
"I hear you. Cops get in trouble all the time for trying to do their job and help others. Just like your mother yelling at me when I came in to protect you. She said she's filing a complaint against me with the department over it," he sighed.
"Well make sure I get a chance to tell them what really happened because she'll make up a bunch of lies about it."
"Whatever. I'm not worried about it. It happens all the time. So what is it you've been trying to do that got you into all this trouble?"
I began to share my saga again with this cop. His name was Officer Bendickson, and I suppressed blurting out, "Like bent-dick's-son." I thought about William and if he ever had boys, they could be called "bent-dick's-sons." That stupid, lame joke made me smile inside. Although, I guess since William got his dick straightened, that wouldn't really be true anymore. Officer Bendickson listened intently and he was very interested in Lenny and the old guy with the accent just like Officer Milsap had been. I sensed there was something up about that after Officer Milsap's, and now Officer Bendickson's reactions, but they weren't offering any details to me. It was good to have someone to vent to, and I really appreciated Officer Bendickson's patient listening ear. I guess he was as bored as I was and was glad to have the conversation.
"When the local anesthesia wore off, my balls ached and burned like a son of a bitch. I called for some pain medicine which knocked me out for the evening. By morning when the older nurse took over, it was almost as if nothing had happened and I was back to healing. Boredom overtook me again and I considered testing the equipment out again several times just to have something to do. My mind wandered to Scotty's semen sampling and each time I started to stroke my bone, I remembered the doctor's suggestion that I hold off a few days and I'd force myself to stop. I was not built to just lie around. I needed to be doing something useful. The nurse took pity on me and brought me a book that another patient had finished and didn't want any more. It was the autobiography of Corrie ten Boom titled, "The Hiding Place," and while I never would have pulled it off the library shelf on my own, the more I read, the more fascinated I became with her life's story.
Born in a small town called Haarlem in the Netherlands in 1892, Corrie grew up with her family living above a small watch shop that they ran. Her brother, Willem became a minister for the Dutch Reformed Christian Church and started an outreach program for Jews and they became friends with many Jewish people. Corrie never married but became involved serving in charities with her brother and helped many people in the community while she worked in the watch shop. Life for Corrie was simple and joyful.
As Hitler became more and more powerful, Corrie's family grew more and more concerned. When Germany occupied the Netherlands, they made the Dutch carry ID everywhere and Jews had to wear yellow stars on their sleeves. Soon it was evident that the Jews were being persecuted by the Nazi's. The ten Boom family built a false wall in Corrie's bedroom and they began hiding Jews in their home to protect them. Corrie took great risks to get extra food ration cards in order to have food to feed all the refugees they harbored. Then one night, they came. The Gestapo rounded them up and they were sent to concentration camps. Corrie's father died as a result, only ten days after being arrested. By the time the guards took him to a hospital, he ended up dying in the hospital corridor. I could relate.
When it was time to eat, it was a bother. I just wanted to read. I was even annoyed when I had to stop and pee in my bottle. When I needed my vitals taken, I tried to keep reading while they were performed. I was so consumed by the story and so amazed by Corrie's faith and willingness to sacrifice her safety and well being for others that I just wanted to keep reading. Reading about how she and her sister, Betsie, barely survived the meager diet, cold, sicknesses and filthy living conditions was heartbreaking. They worked them really hard and were very cruel to them. Corrie had just been freed from Ravensbruck concentration camp for women by a miraculous paperwork mix-up when the phone rang. Thinking it might be Scotty sneaking under the razor wire again, I reached over in excitement to pick it up. My IV restricted me from reaching it and I started to panic slightly that I wouldn't be able to maneuver to it before he gave up. I slid as far as I could to the edge of my bed and rolled onto my hip. I was just able to snatch the bottom end of the phone and I punched the talk button. It was my dad. I was a bit disappointed but glad at least that it wasn't my mother.
"Hello Kyle. How are you feeling? I heard you had a setback yesterday evening."
"Yeah, you could say that. Mom ripped my balls open and I had to have them stitched back up. It was kind of cool, though, because I was awake for it and the doctor actually showed me what my testicles look like inside. He said they all look in good shape, so you can stop worrying about me having cancer or anything. He said I'll heal up just fine."
"That's good to hear. How are you doing this evening?"
"Okay. How come you haven't come to visit?"
"Issues here at my hospital and honestly, I'm afraid if I'm there when your mother comes by, it will end up in a huge ugly fight, I'd rather not subject you to. I'm glad to hear you're doing better. When do you think you can go home with your mom?"
"Going with mom will never be going home. Home is with you at our house. I don't think the gang cares about Renaldo. I say we just go home. Please don't make me go with mom. She might kill me or at least neuter me like she did poor William. I tell you dad, she's dangerous. Besides, there's the risk I could end up back in jail if I go with her."
"Why do you say that?"
"I might kill her. Honestly Dad, she is so frustrating. Did you know she restricted all visitors and phone calls? I was so bored yesterday that I nearly went crazy. Luckily, my nurse brought me this awesome book called The Hiding Place today. I've been reading it solid all day. You ever heard of it?"
"Yes, it's good. It's about some woman's experience in a Nazi camp, I believe."
"So did you know mom cut me off from all my friends to visit?"
"Yes. I knew."
"Can't you do something? Why does she get to control my life? I'm your son too."
"She doesn't like your friends."
"She doesn't even know my friends."
"Ignorance and prejudice are very close cousins, I'm afraid. I can't really do anything about her. For now, you've just got to deal with it and try to get along as best you can. As soon as it's safe, I'll get you back home."
"Yes. I promise."
"No, I mean pinky swear over your mother's grave kind of promise."
"Pinky swear. Yes."
"Over your mother's grave!"
"Pinky swear over my mother's grave."
"Okay." There was a pause. Then my dad added, "I better go then. I love you."
"Love you too. Don't forget you promised."
"Bye Dad." I hung up and held the phone to my chest. I pressed talk and dialed Scotty's cell phone. A recorded message started to tell me that calls from this phone were restricted and I clicked it off. I knew that but thought I'd just try. I lay there with the book to my side and the phone in my hand and thought about some of the things I'd read.
One passage had struck me hard. It read, "All through the short afternoon they kept coming, the people who counted themselves Father's friends. Young and old, poor and rich, scholarly gentlemen and illiterate servant girls—only to Father did it seem that they were all alike. That was Father's secret: not that he overlooked the differences in people; that he didn't know they were there."
I realized I had gotten that trait from my father. He didn't judge people. He tried to help and be nice to everyone and so did I. Money and status didn't matter to him or me. People matter.
I smiled and thumbed through the pages until I found another passage that had affected me deeply. I found it and read, "This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see."
Another passage had made me smile. I found it and read it aloud, "Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open."
I put the book on my chest, closed my eyes and prayed. "Dear God, help me understand what your plan is for me. Show me your way. What has all this prepared me for? Help me have the courage to trust in you and to recognize and follow the path when it opens up to me. Thank you for sending me Scotty. Bless him. Bless William and his mom and … and even bless his misguided father. Amen." It probably didn't happen, but I could swear the room brightened as the warmth of God's spirit radiated all over my body. I was still reveling in it when my mom charged into the room, all disheveled, followed by three policemen looking stern and worried. "Here we go again," I mumbled.
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