The Girl for Me
Kevin didn't know what do to after his epiphany – he felt too guilty to go back to Danny's, and was still too angry at his father to return home. He fished out the key Uncle Keith had given him. Might as well check it out, even if he only had a fistful of hours to sleep.
It was a fairly nice apartment, in a complex not too far from his uncle's downtown office. One bedroom, living room, two bathrooms, a kitchen, but nothing in the fridge except a few bottles of water. Sort of like a nice hotel – but without the honor-bar full of $10-a-can domestic beer. He flopped down on the bed and was asleep in no time. Between Danny and his father, it had been a long day.
Danny, on the other hand, didn't sleep so well. He still didn't know what Kevin's problem was – and feared for the worst. Damned Kevin… he could be so cool with something one minute, then turn around one-eighty the next, it seemed. The best times were always when Danny was a girl. Well, usually. On that date, or at the funeral… or even at dinner with Uncle Keith… Wait. He hadn't been a girl at dinner with Uncle Keith. Oh, yeah, that's right. He hadn't been a girl for the blow-job, either, or the making-out leading up to it, such as it was.
Could he be wrong about needing to be a girl for Kevin to like him? This was why he was having a hard time going to sleep.
Next day – Thursday – Kevin naturally over-slept. They didn't see each other during the school-day - Seniors had a different dining hall than everyone else - and by the time Kevin went looking for Danny's car after school, it was already gone. He sighed, looking at the empty space where Danny usually parked. So who was avoiding whom now, eh? Well… Danny had good cause. Kevin had given it to him. Fuck. That sucked. No... no, more than that – that hurt.
"Something wrong, honey?" Danny's mother asked, finding him staring off into space in front of the tv.
"Huh? Oh. Oh, no… I was just watching… uh, an infomercial for some kind of blender, apparently…"
"I thought that was odd. Sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"No, Mom. I'm fine," Danny replied, flipping through the channels.
"It's not… It's not a boy, is it…" she said nervously.
Danny sighed – mothers could be so exasperating, "If it were, Mom, I really wouldn't want to talk about it with you, anyway. Okay?"
"I can understand that. It'd be an… odd... feeling for me too. But I do know a thing or two about boys. I married one. They can be idiots, sometimes."
"Got that right."
"So it is a boy."
"Mom! I said-"
"Boys are very much the problem-solvers, honey. They think 'point A to point B, got it' and then they don't think anything else because the problem – as they see it – is solved. And when they're wrong about that, it gets them all flustered and mad, especially if you point it out to them. And they always seem to be in a hurry to get things done, for reasons they never want to explain. Like the way they wolf down their food. Ever notice that? Sometimes they really can try your patience... Is it serious?"
"Mom…" Danny prepared to declare his intention of not telling her about it again, then sighed and changed his mind, "I don't know how serious it is, all right? That's sort of the problem."
"Ah. Yeah," she said, taking a deep breath, "yeah, that's usually the way it is with 'em. And it happens over and over and over… uhm, sorry – we're supposed to be talking about you, aren't we…"
He looked over at his mother. She had relationship problems? His mother? He turned off the tv. "Mom? Is… is everything okay?"
"Oh, don't worry honey – there are just some things you learn to live with. About men, I mean. So, this… boyfriend of yours. Anyone I know? What's he like?"
"It's Kevin, Mom. I know I said he wasn't before, and at that time - no, he wasn't. But since then… well, I dunno, the situation changed. I'm not sure how much. I… I'm not even sure we are 'boyfriends' or... or what the hell we are. Uh... 'heck', I mean. So you can just forget about me asking him to come for Sunday dinner – because I KNOW that's what you're thinking about."
"There's nothing wrong with a mother wanting to get to know her son's boyfriends..." she said defensively.
"You're weird, Mom."
"Because… oh, never mind. Look, if we get back together, I'll invite him, okay? And if not…"
"Kevin seems nice…"
"I think I know him a little better than you do, Mom."
"I'd hope so," she said, getting up to go start heating up dinner, "Just try to keep an open mind, Danny. That's all. Oh – chicken nuggets okay?"
"Uh… yeah. And thanks Mom. You're still weird, though."
"Apparently it runs in the family, dear."
"Real funny, Mom" Danny said, smirking, "Hey... uh... you, like, haven't told Dad or anything have you?"
"Actually – I'm afraid I did. We are your parents, after all. Both of us."
"Oh. Well... uh..."
"He was surprised, but thinks it's great. Kept asking me if you had a boyfriend."
"Yes. You don't know it, but he has this hobby... he writes homosexual romances. Usually lesbian, sometimes gay. Don't tell him I told you about it."
"He... he does?"
"Told you – 'weirdness' runs in the family."
After dinner, Danny went up to his room and put on headphones – all the better to sulk with. Kevin hadn't called. Kevin hadn't come. It was nearly 8, and Kevin should have showed up for his tutoring two hours ago – if that was something they were going to keep doing. Was everything off now? What was going on? Damn him anyway…
Danny's mother was reading one of her business self-help books when the doorbell rang. She tiredly got up to answer it wondering who'd be coming at this time of night. She opened the door to find Kevin standing there.
Holding a bouquet of half-a-dozen roses (red), a box of candy (heart-shaped), and a package (gift-wrapped). His hands were rather full, as he stood there in the cold with abject and total panic on his face. He'd forgotten that Danny's mother would be home.
"Kevin!" Mrs. Rainier said.
Danny's mother just looked at him for awhile, enjoying the situation. It was so cute! She knew she'd been right about him. "Are those for me?" she asked, joking.
She giggled in a way that was very un-motherish, "Just a moment, Kevin. I'll go get Danny. You wait there," she said conspiratorially, and closed the door in his face.
Knocking on her son's bedroom door was of course useless – and she knew it would be – but it was part of the protocol. She went in and tapped him on the shoulder. Danny took off his headphones and said, somewhat annoyed, "What…"
"Someone at the door for you, dear." She turned to go without waiting for a response.
"Well… why didn't you let him in?"
"Daniel – go answer the door."
"Geez, Mom, I-"
Danny went downstairs still in his plaid pajamas. He just hadn't felt like wearing one of the feminine night-shirts his mother kept buying him. He had three now. He opened the front door to see Kevin still standing there, shivering a little now, and looking more resigned than panicked. Danny's gaze took in the flowers, the chocolate box, and the other gift under Kevin's right arm. So – the question was answered then. Apparently Kevin was still "in". Danny resisted the temptation to hug the other boy and waited for him to speak.
"Uh… I think your mom knows about us, now…"
Danny sighed to himself – he might be waiting a long time.
"So… I'm sorry for running off like that, Danny…"
Still Danny waited, staring slightly up at Kevin's face. He couldn't help the faint smile on his lips.
"And… uh… I didn't really know what to bring… I guess I kinda got carried away. A little." Kevin added, wondering what Danny was waiting for.
Danny didn't know what Danny was waiting for, either. But somehow he just felt that he'd know when to stop waiting for it.
And somehow - perhaps the same "somehow" - Kevin knew what it was. It was just… hard… is all. He sighed and closed his eyes, working up the courage, then opened them again when it occurred to him that it just wouldn't be right to say that with his eyes closed.
"Danny... I think... I mean…" he paused, taking another breath, "Fuck. I screwed it up already… I love you."
That was it. They both heard a distant squeal from the direction of the kitchen.
"C'mon in, Kev" Danny said, smiling fully now, "It's cold out there."
Kevin came in, blushing. Although, really, it hadn't been that hard, after all.
"I'll take these," Danny said, reaching for the bouquet. Just as Kevin was holding them out – and still trying to keep the chocolates from slipping out from under his arm – a flash went off.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Danny's mother apologized, "I just HAD to! It's so CUTE! I'll be going now. I'm going to… clean up the kitchen. I'm sorry! You boys carry on!" she retreated backwards down the hallway, camera still in hand. They could still hear her as she turned the corner, "So CUTE!! Oh my GAWD!"
Danny said sheepishly, "Sorry about that."
"Dude... Your mother is..."
"You have no idea. Uhm, I'll take care of these. Maybe you'd better head on up to my room. Like, before she comes back…"
"You think she'd…" Kevin started, and then changed his mind; there were more important things to consider, "So Danny? Are we okay?"
"I think so, Kev. But we still need to talk. Go on."
While Kevin headed up, Danny found a vase in the kitchen for the roses. His mother was sitting at the table – "I'm sorry!" she blurted out again, "I couldn't help it! Here, here, I'll delete it, okay? In case-"
"It's okay, Mom. You can keep it. Just don't spread it around, 'kay?" Danny said, running water into the vase.
"Well... if you're sure. Oh my-"
"Gawd. Yeah, I know."
"Be sure you invite him to dinner this Sunday, Danny."
He sighed. Of course. "Yes, mother…"
In Danny's room, Kevin deposited the candy and box onto the bed, then stood nervously at the desk, looking out the window into the night. He wasn't looking forward to this "talk". Maybe some things had changed when he'd realized how he really felt about the other boy – but other things hadn't.
Danny came into the room with the vase and set the roses on the desk. Then he hugged Kevin. And Kevin – with momentary reluctance – hugged back. After a long while, they separated a bit, enough that they could look each other in the face.
"So… you love me?" Danny asked.
Kevin swallowed, "Yes."
"Good. You're invited to dinner on Sunday. 1 pm. Formal. Mom doesn't cook any better than I do, so we'll be going out somewhere. Know anything about banking?"
"Excellent – then you should have lots of questions to ask her. Now then, let's see what you got me for a make-up present," Danny said, untying the ribbon on the box.
"Oh. It's just something I saw and-"
It was a tiny model of The Globe theater, from Shakespeare's time. Kevin had bought him this? Danny knew that the other boy didn't know squat about Shakespeare... so how- Danny looked up at him for an explanation.
"Well, I know you're a fan. You have all his books and everything, so I saw it and-"
"Thanks, Kev. I love it."
"You're welcome," Kevin said back, "Uhm... you're supposed to say you love me too..."
Danny only looked at him, faintly smirking.
Kevin caught on, "Oh. Yeah. Sorry, that was stupid." Okay, so much for the easy stuff - "So... you wanted to talk?" He sat down in the desk chair, preparing.
"Nah," Danny said, thinking about it, "Nah, never mind. I don't wanna spoil the moment. It can wait."
"Kev? It can wait. Now - how'd it go with your old man…"
"The gay thing?"
"Didn't even tell him about that. The football thing. Plus – now he's pissed Uncle Keith off, and he's blaming me for that, too."
"He kick you out?"
"Not exactly. Heh, I bet he will when I tell him I have a boyfriend, though."
"So don't tell him…"
"I think I'd just as soon tell him and be done with it, Danny. Have to do it someday…"
Someday? Danny thought, unexpectedly awe-struck, We'll still be together "someday"? Is he that serious? He DID say that he loved me… Really? Someday?
"Something wrong, Danny? What'd I say now…"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, Kevin. I just… uh… something in my eye." Danny thought fast, "Listen – your next test is Geography, right?"
"Okay. Right. Here," Danny said, taking a globe of the Earth off his dresser and tossing it to him. Kevin caught it and looked at him questioningly.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
Danny picked up his Shakespearean model and sat back against the headboard of the bed, "Guess."
"Kevin", his father began, "I've been thinking about it – I guess I was kind of carried away. It's just that I've waited so long for my old school to make it to the Regionals... I suppose I was living it vicariously through you. Keith says you're not going to fail, after all. Is that right?"
"Looks like I'll make it. I know it's hard to believe..."
"Yes, it is. I was hoping you could get a football scholarship, you know. Something to waive the entrance requirements, because I don't know what college would take you-"
"Yeah. Thanks a lot Dad," Kevin said sarcastically. He already knew what his father thought of him and didn't need to be reminded yet again.
"Oh, come on. You know perfectly well that you're too stupid to-"
"That's not what my boyfriend says. Oh, by the way, Dad – I'm a faggot. Did I mention that?"
"... Kevin – get your stuff, and get out."
"So he actually told you to get out?" Danny asked, the next day.
"Yup. No big, believe me. And even if he were to cut off my cash – I only have to make it six more weeks, and my trust-fund unlocks. So who gives a shit..."
"I meant, 'who gives a damn'."
"Well, I'm still sorry it went that way. So you're staying at your uncle's apartment?"
"For the time being, yeah. I thought about calling you last night... but, y'know, with your Mom home an' all, I didn't figure it'd sound right."
"Probably not a good idea. But, I gotta tell ya, she's getting weirder by the day. And she has this stupid smile all the time..."
"She thinks it's cute, us being a couple."
"I think it's going further than that. She made me move all my girl-clothes in here, and I think it was just so she could find out what all I had."
"How much do you have?"
"Four dresses – counting the one you bought me, six tops, three pairs of shoes, two bras, eight panties, and a garter-belt. And two pair of hose. Hoses. Hosiery."
"Doesn't seem like all that much."
"Yeah. That's what she said..."
"Kevin! Help me!"
"Dani? What's going on?"
"It's my Mom! We're at the mall! You gotta come, Kev! You gotta get me outta this! Say... say we have an emergency football game or something! Anything!"
"The... the mall?"
"Dillard's! She's gone insane, I swear to god! Fourteen dresses, Kev! SEVEN pair of shoes! Four hundred dollars worth of make-up! I'm trying on blouses now... Hurry, Kev, before she gets to the lingerie department! Oh, god, she's looking at swim wear... Kev! You gotta help me!"
At the other end of the line, Dani could only hear laughter.
"It's NOT FUNNY, Kevin!"
"I'm coming, Dani, I'm coming."
"I said I was sorry, Dani..." Kevin said, as they entered the apartment.
"I'm so not talking to you."
"I couldn't help it! She was so funny, and you were blushing, and... gawd, Dani, I couldn't help it!"
"You just had to get us all soft pretzels, didn't you... just had to make sure we'd walk right by that lingerie store..."
"Dani... it, uh, it hadn't even occurred to me-"
"I hate you! When I go to therapy about this, I'm going to send you the bill!"
"You're beautiful when your angry."
"Then I must be fucking gorgeous right now!"
"... Well, I'm still not talking to you."
He came up behind her as she stood looking out the balcony with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "Aww... can't I make it up to you? Somehow?"
He nuzzled the back of her neck through her hair, his hands first holding her hips, and then sliding further around her belly. "You sure?"
"... I doubt it..."
One of Kevin's hands found it's way under her skirt, and caressed the back of her thigh, and up onto her butt.
"I love you, Dani." His southern-most hand was just sliding down the back of her nylon panties.
"I... I hate you. Help me get this off..."
Half an hour later, they were both down to just their underwear – and half of hers, of course, was already gone. Kevin was suckling gently on her nipple, until finally Dani couldn't stand it anymore, and slid down from his lap until she was on her knees on the floor, nuzzling his thighs, and then his balls inside his tightie-whities.
Kevin knew what was coming – and that he couldn't let it happen again. It didn't matter if Dani seemed to be "okay with it". He wasn't "okay with it". And he still couldn't bring himself to do it, either. He just could not bring himself to suck on another guy's dick. Not even hers. So that left one option. And that he had been looking forward to – but he wasn't sure how she'd feel about it. It had never been discussed.
Before she had a chance to start pulling down his shorts, he said, bending down a bit and pulling her hair away from one ear, "Dani... We're not doing that again. But just wait a second – I gotta go get something." Before she could think to object, he'd gotten up and disappeared into the bedroom. And he came right back out again with a tube of K-Y Jelly and a hand-towel. Dani knew what it meant.
She swallowed nervously, but didn't say anything as he kneeled and sat back on his heels next to her, flipping open the lid and setting the tube and towel on the floor where he'd be able to reach it. Then he looked over at her to make absolutely sure he had permission to proceed. "Okay?" he asked.
She choked out, "O-Okay."
He put his arms around her, face-to-face, and kissed her, and pulled her down to the floor on top of him, slightly to one side. Then, a little later, while she was busy nipping and sucking at his collar-bone, he pulled her panties down from her butt, lubed up his finger, and began preparing her.
It took awhile. Kevin didn't know if this was Dani's first time or not, but it sure seemed as if it might be, so he took his time, gently using his middle finger to work her open, then try to push some lube in, then put his finger in a little bit more. If he heard her whimper – he backed off. If he felt her clench – he stopped until she relaxed. He kept re-applying the lubricant, over and over and over.
Finally, he was in up to the second joint, and that was far enough. He just left his finger there, feeling her sometimes clench and un-clench, then he'd remove it, re-lube, and do it again. Dani had stopped all her kissing and sucking now, and only brushed her lips to his neck and shoulder from time to time.
After nearly an hour of this, it was time.
"Dani?" he whispered, "Get up."
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes, then took one last kiss. Without speaking, she got on her knees, laying her chest and head on the couch. He got behind her, positioning himself, removing his underwear, and finally pulling her panties all the way off.
When Danny felt Kev begin to push, he clenched. He couldn't help it. He was nervous, yes, but he thought he was ready... But still he couldn't help it.
Kevin backed off, and Danny could hear him lubing up his finger yet again.
"Kev?" he asked anxiously, "Have... have you done this before?"
"Yeah." he said, concentrating on not making a mess with the jelly.
"Well... with girls, yeah."
"Oh. Well... I haven't..."
Kevin put the tube back down and wiped off his hand with the towel. If Danny wanted to stop and talk, he'd stop and talk. Much as he ached to get started – this was not something that could be rushed. Especially if you ever hoped to do it again.
"How's it been so far, Danny? Okay?"
"Yeah... yeah, it's been okay. But... uhm..."
"It'll be all right, Danny. I won't hurt you. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but if is, I'll just stop until you relax. I'm not gonna surprise you or just shove myself in or anything, okay? It won't be like that."
"I'm just... it's hard to... I'm kinna scared, Kevin. It sometimes feels like... like I'm..."
"You won't. Trust me, I know it feels that way, but you won't."
"You promise you're not going to just... shove it in? Because-"
"Hey, Danny? New plan. Maybe this'll be better for you." Kevin re-arranged the tube and towel, then laid on his back on the floor, his cock sticking straight up. "Okay, now you straddle me. Then you can just lower yourself down at your own speed, okay? You'll be the one in control. I'll just lie here. Okay? Oh, hold on a sec, lemme lube it up again first."
After fifteen minutes, Danny was resting his weight on Kevin's hips, fully engulfing him.
Ten minutes later – give or take – he was rocking back and forth, faster and faster.
In another five minutes Danny was using his thighs to lift and lower himself onto the other boy.
And after two minutes of that – Danny had the first orgasm of his life, and finally got the release he hadn't known he'd needed. Danny's spasms made Kevin come, too.
Once again, they'd both received different things from the same act – Danny's concentration was on how Kevin felt inside him. He hadn't opened his eyes since he'd first begun to lower himself onto the boy.
Kevin, on the other hand, had never closed his. Not even in the throes of orgasm – a first for him. It wasn't about how his dick was feeling in Danny's butt – it was what Danny was doing to him.
Danny's cum shot onto Kevin's chest and face. Kevin licked it off his lips. It wasn't like he thought it would be. Because it wasn't "cum". It was "Danny".
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