Knots, Book 3
by Elias Scott
I was released from the hospital after Thanksgiving and was homeschooled until Christmas vacation. Another basketball season was going to go by without Andy Gibson. Last time I was a big baby and pouting over breaking my leg in football and this time I wanted to play and couldn't. Life surprises you at times.
A person sometimes changes for the better through adversity. It would be better if we could live life without it, but this time I went to basketball practice every day and worked as a team manager. I'd have been too proud to do that before. It meant a lot to Matt to see me out there. It meant a lot to me too.
My dad and I spent a lot of time in the garage doing woodworking. I made another bowl or two and finally one came out that looked like a real bowl instead of one that had too much to drink. They lined the windowsill of my room. They made me smile every time I looked at them.
We made a one-drawer cabinet for me to store my school supplies. I later snuck into the garage and put a false panel in the back of the drawer for my condoms. The coat rack we made is now sitting in the coaches' office. The coaches gave me a bad time and said they didn't think I was capable of making such a thing. I told them I didn't either until my dad showed me how.
So while I'd been pretty beat up, stuck in bed for a time, and unable to do anything, my parents and I got closer. It wasn't easy. They made me eat dinner with them. Sometimes there'd be long silences between us. But it got so we could pretty much talk about anything. Hell, after your parents know four guys have been fooling around with each other and you've had to talk to them about it, there isn't much you can't talk about. They knew I was gay and knew that I'd been sucking and fucking other guys, but we didn't talk about it that way. Their big concern was I might get a STD or mistake sex for love. No one knew Matt was into gay sex. And while he and I had sex, I don't think either of us thought we loved each other. But if we weren't in love, I'm not sure why we got jealous of each other when we saw the other fooling around with someone else. Matt and I went too far back, and I guess the idea of him being best friends with anyone other than me, bothered me. If there's any love forming, it might be between him and Gina. I'm not sure, but it just seems like it. He really likes her and was spending a lot more time with her. I'm not sure if it's because Thomas is a freshman, but I haven't seen them together as much since that day I saw them under the bleachers.
In January I was healthy enough to go back to school. I'd gone without sex for almost two and a half months. Randy and Kyle gave up on me and moved on to asses and cocks other than mine. And while in some ways I was disappointed, I was also happy. Matt and I did a little TF&S. That's touch, feel, and see. But it didn't make any difference whose house we were over because our parents made us keep the door open. The one thing I learned is that you don't die from not having sex. I'd sure come close to dying the day Evan attacked me. I was never sure if he attacked me because he thought I was gay or was a "fag lover" like he said or if he was just pissed at my cocky attitude. It was probably a combination of all three.
Dillon's trial started the first Wednesday after we got back to school. It took a few days to pick a jury and once that was done, Matt, Thomas, Randy, and I were going to be on the stand. We'd all received subpoenas to appear in court. Randy was playing JV basketball so I didn't have much choice but to talk to him now and then. Matt, Thomas, and I were talking after practice when he walked up to us. "Did you guys get your subpoenas?"
"I did too, but I got two, one from the DA and one from Dillon's lawyer."
"Shit," Matt said. "That means you might be considered a hostile witness."
Randy squinted. "What the fuck is a hostile witness?"
"That's one that's hostile to either side that calls them. At least I think that's what it is."
I shook my head. "How do you know this shit?"
Matt gave me a big smile. "From TV. How else?"
All three of us slapped him all over his shoulders and chest.
"Knock it off. I could be right."
Thomas patted him on the back. "I think you are."
"See, someone agrees with me."
I didn't know how Matt felt about it at first, but it was at that moment I figured the shit was going to hit the fan. Randy was like a loose cannon. Who knew what he'd testify to.
"What are you going to say?" I asked.
Randy shrugged. "Depends on what they ask me. I can't lie. I'll be under oath."
I motioned toward the locker room door. "I think we should have this discussion outside."
We walked out and went around the back of the gym. My heart started pounding because being out there in the cold winter dark brought the beating back clear as if it was happening right then. "Can we go somewhere else?"
Randy scowled. "Fuck you, Andy. You wouldn't have gotten your ass pounded if you weren't such a cocky bastard."
"I was just thinking someone could still hear us."
"Tough. It's all going to come out at the trial anyway."
Matt's eyes got big. "You can't tell them about our foursome."
"Fuck you, Matt. Don't think I've forgotten about you telling me to get out of Andy's house, and that I'm a selfish asshole. What goes around comes around."
"This is different. It'll fuck with all our lives."
"Randy, we go way back," Thomas said. "You can't tell this in court. Our lives are almost back to normal after all that shit with Dillon came out and now you're going to make it even worse."
"Poor Thomas and Matt. You lick each other's assholes, suck each other's cocks, and put your cocks in each other's asses, and now you want a get out of jail free card. I don't think it's going to happen. But I'll think about it."
I gave Randy a gentle push. "Think about it hard."
He stood his ground. "Hey, I'm sworn to tell the truth. Are you asking me to lie?"
"Yeah," we all said in unison.
Randy gave us a shit eating grin. "I'm not that kind of guy. Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie."
I wasn't sure I could speak for the rest, but at the time, it didn't seem like there was much choice so I said, "You'll have to deal with the three of us then."
"Like I'm scared. You can barely walk, Thomas is a little shit, and Matt wants to play basketball."
Matt surprised me. "You know what Randy? I do want to play basketball, but having everyone know the four of us were fucking around trumps playing basketball."
I hate to admit, but Randy was on top of his game. "Yeah, I see you hanging around with Gina a lot. So you've turned hetero all of a sudden. I know better, you just don't want anyone to know you're gay."
Matt was about 20 pounds heavier than Randy so Randy was caught off-guard when Matt pushed him and he fell on the ground.
Randy bounced up. "I'm not going to fight you. But I can tell you one thing. Everyone's going to know how much you love to suck cock and stick your dick in other guys' asses." Randy turned to walk away.
Matt ran him down and threw him on the pavement. I'd never seen him angry like this. He was swinging wildly at Randy, but Randy wasn't going to take his shit. He jumped up and caught Matt with a quick punch in the mouth. Matt grabbed his mouth and Randy ran off.
"I'll get you, you son-of-a-bitch!" Matt yelled after him.
"You'll have to catch me first."
Thomas moved within kissing distance of Matt's face. He gently moved his chin back and forth with his right hand. "Looks like you'll be all right. Don't let that asshole get to you. I can tell you from experience, Randy's going to do whatever he wants, and there's nothing we can do about it."
I wanted to kill Randy. He roused hateful feeling I'd never felt before. He threatened to tell everything about our foursome and then walked away. Fear possessed me and I was scared shitless. Not only was I scared shitless, I feared my whole life was going to turn to shit. I'd be outed. Thomas too, but of course I was more worried about me than him. It was kind of selfish I know, but fear can do strange things to you. Gina and my parents had no idea I'd been fucking around with guys. Like I said, I was thinking maybe I was bisexual and didn't want to be labeled gay. But with hindsight being 20/20, what difference did it really make?
My parents loved me, but they'd be disappointed. Gina cared for me. She'd be shocked and disappointed too. It was possible she'd be more pissed because I never told her. Then there'd be all the harassment and crap we'd have to take from the guys at school. We were going to be far worse off than when the stuff about Dillon first came out.
And of course, all of this made me think of all the knots we'd tied in our lives. I came to realize knots are just experiences and actions we choose to take. But all actions have consequences, and I don't think I considered the consequences when I first had sex with Andy. Now, I'm not saying I'm sorry I did. I'm just saying that I never considered the consequences. The same goes for the foursome. The sex was awesome, but hell, we're kids and we were involved in an orgy. God, it's hard for me to say that. But that's what it was. It's a hell of a lot different when people hear about adult men doing what we did. But hearing about fourteen and fifteen-year-olds having orgies is a lot different. It could make us seem like perverts and what's that word? Hedonists.
I was beginning to understand how Oscar Wilde must have felt when he went to court. The only difference was we weren't being tried for our actions, Dillon was. But that sure wasn't going to prevent a whole lot of people hating us. I couldn't imagine what my parents or Gina, Emily, Alan, Ernie, Ollie, and even Sam and his friend, Jill, were going to think. Evan would be smiling from ear to ear. It was one thing for Andy and me to have sex. That would have turned a few heads, but a foursome? Damn, that's one huge knot.
I began to wonder if my best bet would be to tell my parents and everyone else what we'd done. But that seemed stupid because we hadn't been to court yet and it could really jeopardize the case. So I didn't say anything.
Thomas stopped by that evening around 7:30. My parents loved the guy. He was courteous and wasn't rough around the edges as my parents told me a couple times.
We were in the living room when he came. I answered the door and he walked in to greet my parents. They really liked that kind of stuff. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Spence."
My mother jumped up. "Well, hello Thomas. Good to see you. We were just getting ready to have some ice cream. You want some?"
"Yes, please, Mrs. Spence."
My mom rushed into the kitchen. My dad pointed to an empty chair. "Sit down, Thomas. What brings you by this time of night?"
Shit, I thought.
"I'm a little worried about the trial. I think Matt is too. I thought we could talk."
"What are you worried about? You're not on trial."
Thomas went silent. My father waited.
"I'm too embarrassed to talk about it. I'd rather talk to Matt."
My mom came back and handed a dish of ice cream to Thomas and me. She gave Thomas a big smile. You'd have thought he was a girl they wanted me to date. Little did she know what had already gone on between us and that was the reason he was there.
"Matt, what's going on?"
Like Thomas, I sat silent for a few moments. "Uh. Uh. It's a trial dad. Who knows what Dillon will say or what witnesses they'll call. What if people lie on the stand and try to make us look bad?"
He smiled. "You boys are too worried. The trial is about finding the truth. Thomas, you were seduced by Dillon. Matt, you were raped. Those are the facts. I understand why you don't want to talk about it, rehash it, or relive it all again, but Dillon has a right to a trial."
"We know, Dad. But that doesn't make it any easier. And what about the media. They'll be all over this. You've seen what they do older women have sex with boys our age. It's going to be even worse because it's all guys."
He shook his head. "But you didn't do anything wrong."
Hearing those words made me want to cry. He was right when it came to Dillon, but how about Andy, Thomas, Randy, and me and our foursome?
Finally, my dad gave us a break. "Okay, I understand. If you need to talk, I won't get in your way."
I looked at Thomas as a relieved look passed over his face. "Let's go for a walk," I suggested.
My mom gave us a surprised look. "It's cold out. Why not just go to your room?"
I didn't want to tell her I wanted to kiss and hug Thomas in a way I know they wouldn't approve of. Maybe it was because none of us had had sex for so long, but that innocent lovable look that Thomas had, made me want him. I wasn't sure how Andy would feel about it, but that wasn't my concern. After all, he, Randy, and Kyle had fooled around, while all I wanted to do was spend a little private time with Thomas. We sure couldn't do that with the door open to my bedroom.
I shrugged. "We need some fresh air. The cold will do us good."
"Well, if you say so," she said with some doubt. "Don't be gone too long."
My dad followed with, "Be back in fifteen minutes."
I'm not sure what he thought we were going to do, or if he was still suspicious about my lying about our circle jerk, but whatever, he didn't want us spending too much time alone and out of sight.
"We'll be back in fifteen," I said.
I started running as soon as we got out the door. "Thomas, follow me. I got an idea." He followed me as I ran past Andy's about a block where a repossessed house lay vacant. I'd been eying the place for a few weeks and had talked to Andy about it, but he was still too hurt, so nothing came of it. I stopped in front of the house and looked around. As soon as a car passed, I ran to the backyard gate, opened it, grabbed Thomas' hand, pulled him in, closed the gate, and planted a wet kiss on his sweet lips. He pulled back. "Maybe we shouldn't do this. We're already in deep shit for fooling around."
"So much has been going on over the last few weeks that we've hardly talked. Every time I look at you, I want to kiss you. I think of our time under the bleachers. You haven't forgotten have you?"
"No, I haven't forgotten. I've thought about it a lot. But you've seemed more interested in Gina than me."
"I like Gina. She likes me. But I like you more."
Thomas pressed his body against mine and kissed me. I ran my hands down his slim body and took in the smell of his hair and skin. Our tongues locked and we pulled each others' shirts off. The cold night air felt great against my skin. I took his left nipple in my mouth and sucked it. He moaned and then surprised me by quickly pulling down my pants and boxer-briefs before taking my cock into his mouth. It felt so frigging good. I'd forgotten how good it felt. As if you could ever forget. But hell, absence, in this case does make the cock grow fonder of a good blowjob.
I spun him around, pulled his pants down and was ready to stick my cock in his ass, when he turned back around. "Stop. We can't do this."
"What are you, just a prick teaser?" I asked.
He laughed. "Fifteen minutes, remember. Your parents like me and for the time being trust me, so let's get back before you get grounded again. And besides, you started it."
I pulled him into me so I could feel his warm bare chest against mine one more time as I kissed him. He slipped his tongue into my mouth while he pulled his pants up. It was awkward, but he managed to keep our lips locked.
"Shit," I said as we picked our shirts up, slipped them on, and ran back to my house.
My father glanced at his watch as soon as we walked it. "Just in time. Did you guys work things out?"
Thomas nodded. "Yes, Mr. Spence."
"Yeah, dad, we're ready for the trial now."
"I figured you'd work it out."
Of course we weren't ready for the trial at all, but that short fifteen minutes meant so much just because it was only fifteen minutes. It's like the teacher said in my history class when he off-handedly mentioned the law of supply and demand: "The law of supply and demand states that when the demand increases and the supply decreases, the price increases." And in this case, the value of our little bit of sex had an increased tremendously. Fortunately, at least for the time being, there wasn't a price to be paid.
Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health, knowledge and good judgment will always be in demand under all conditions. -
The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology. - Red Auerbach
No one can be good for long if goodness is not in demand. - Bertolt Brecht
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