Loneliness

by Andrew Foote

Chapter 19

Someone was on our side at least! We had just managed to kennel the dogs and were walking across the lawn to the boats when the first heavy drops of rain began to fall.

We sprinted the rest of the way, making it on board just as the heavens opened and the wind picked up.

I shivered.

"Is it my imagination or is it chilly in here Jus?"

"Well it's not exactly cold but it is sort of dank and miserable. As much as anything it's probably because of the shitty weather outside."

"Right! I'm going to have a go at lighting the stove then.

Another 'first' as ours is different to 'Casio's' and besides which, I'd better get used to driving it before the real cold weather hits."


Actually it wasn't very difficult and after about three-quarters of an hour I was peeling my jumper off and noticing my pits were a bit ripe, 'note to self', a thorough shower tonight!

Jus was sitting on the floor with his back to the couch reading a book.

"What's the book?"

"Oh, it's called 'The Ballard of Reading Jail', Granddad lent it to me."

"Is it any good?"

"It's scary!"

"Go on? Is it like a ghost story or something?"

"No, no! It's semi-autobiographical. It's about this man who got sent to jail for basically speaking out about the fact that he liked other men, not women. He never got 'caught in the act' but got sent down for just admitting it.

He says here he believes he was very fortunate as the then punishment for actually being caught at it was castration."

"Ouch!!"

"Ouch indeed especially as he did admit in court to past liaisons' but because there was no physical evidence, there were no grounds for anything more than a prison sentence. Close run thing though!"

"Do you think they still do that?"

"Not sure but I don't think so. Granddad recons that if you get caught or you get reported as having been seen 'at it', the offence is called something like Gross Indecency or another is called something like Committing an act designed to outrage public decency, well along those lines anyway."

"What does that mean for us then?"

Jus laughed.

"Don't get caught I suppose! Anyhow according to Granddad, we're both below the age of criminal responsibility until we're sixteen which means they can't touch us, well we might get a severe bollocking which I guess is still preferable to having no bollocks at all!!"

"Oh very bloody funny I don't think! Hey but what about girls? You can't castrate a girl unless, that is, I missed something in Human Biology lessons?"

"Ah well! That's the interesting thing!

There is no offence committed if women do it. It all stems back to the Victorians who thought that it was inconceivable for women to indulge in that sort of behaviour whereas the opposite was the case. They were at it like rabbits!"

"How so?"

"Back then, women were just baby-making machines. Okay if you happened to be a part of the upper echelons of society then you would be expected to be in control of the running of your grand house, being the perfect hostess at parties, always immaculately attired and………to produce offspring.

If you were in the lower rankings, you would keep house, cook and clean for your husband, generally be at his beck and call and……………to make babies!

This sort of alienated woman-kind. The man of the house ruled the roost, the women felt used and unloved and as they didn't have the freedom to socialise with other men, they naturally turned to each other for company and……..other stuff. They even had a name for it. A 'Pash'. 'So-and-so has a pash for so-and-so' and all politely ignored, neatly swept under the carpet."

"Bloody-hell Jus! Did your Granddad tell you all of that?"

"Bits of but mostly from the classic novels we have to read at school. It isn't like they're racy or anything but those sorts of goings on are quite clearly implied, Granddad just filled in the missing bits."

"Shame though don't you think? Not for them, for us. They can go around being all demonstrative whereas we have restrict ourselves to our private times."

"Well we weren't exactly being 'undemonstrative' this afternoon Alex?"

"Ha-ha! No I suppose not. Hey and talking of this afternoon? Are you going too then?"

"Going to what."

"Do like the man said."

"What man?"

" Umm, 'Give her one mate!' although I'm not sure I like being called 'her'!"

"What, right now?"

"No not right now! I need to cook supper and take a really long shower first. Later, when we're in bed. Will you?"

"I'm not sure. I mean I don't ever want to hurt you and well, it might be painful."

"Look, I trust you and I know you'll stop if it becomes too much. Please? It felt really good when your dick we just poking me there, it was almost as if that is where it was always supposed to go."

"Well if you really want to but just so long as you promise me not to let it get too painful. I have heard that it can feel really good for both the giver and the receiver with practice so we just take things nice and easy. Oh and you better find something slippy. I don't think it works if we're both too dry."

"Soap?"

"No! Soap stings! What about Olive Oil!"


Supper over, the washing up done but it was still quite early, too early to go to bed.

Never before did I want an evening to go so quickly! I was sporting an almost permanent erection and I glanced over at Jus to see if he had the same problem.

He noticed and grinning at me said

"What are you looking at?"

I blushed furiously, a habit I thought I had under control.

He had been reading his book, his knees tucked under his chin but noticing my blushes, lowered them and pointed to his crotch and his very obvious hard-on.

"Yes I have and no, it won't go away!

Why don't you go and have a leisurely shower and get into bed. I'll just finish this chapter, make up the fire by which time you should've finished and I can take one as well."

"Don't you think it's a bit early? What if my Mum or Dad drop round?"

"Alex? Can't you hear the rain on the roof? It's chucking it down out there! No one, unless they've taken leave of their senses are likely to go out in this weather!"

"Good point! I get used to the various sounds a boat makes, almost I take no notice or I don't really hear them anymore. I'll go and shower."


As my Dad had predicted, there was loads of hot water, more than enough for us both and fifteen minutes later I was done.

Towards the end I'd detached the shower rose and jetted warm water up inside me. I would've been mortified had Jus got poo on his willy! Satisfied I was as clean as I could possibly be, I set the showers grey water pump and dried myself off.

I was now only sporting a semi, whether that was because I was a little bit nervous I don't know but as I exited the shower room, Jus passed me equally naked and as he did so, he paused and ran his hand over my bum.

"I'm really looking forward to doing this with you Alex. Thank you."

Goodbye semi, hello fully fledged stiffie!

I retrieved a bottle of cooking oil from the galley and made my way to bed, checking the fire was damped down for the night on the way.

I placed an old towel across the bed 'just in case of spillages' and oiled myself up.

It was a strange sensation pushing my finger up inside me but after a couple of applications it began to feel rather pleasant and the effect it was having 'up front' was just as good! I wiped the excess of my finger, satisfied it was perfectly clean but then I heard the grey water pump kick in and a few moments later Jus emerged and making his way up to the bed, turning the lights off on the way, I again glanced down at his feet, still beautiful, still very edible!!

As he climbed into bed I turned over to face him, pulled him close to me and we kissed.

This time we didn't go rushing into anything, it was tender and meaningful. Now we were really making love, the dim flicker of the night candle cast shadows over us as we touched, caressed and kissed, time seemingly at a standstill.

'Could anything be better than this?' I wondered. I was about to find out.

"Turn over onto your other side please Alex."

I turned over and heard him unscrew the top of the bottle of oil and then seconds later

"God that's cold!"

"Well I hope to be able to warm it up for you very soon!"

We were pretty amateur at our first couple of attempts, Jus missing the target and I think he was getting just a touch frustrated so I reached behind him and guided him in. Once the tip of his cock was resting where it should've been all along I whispered

"Go ahead but take it nice and slow."

The first couple of pushes came to nothing as my bum, used to being a one-way street all its life, kept trying to repel boarders so I made a conscious effort to push down, safe in the knowledge that I wasn't about to poo the bed and

"WOW…….OUCH!! Hold it right there!"

Jus had slipped inside me, just the head but it felt huge!

He sounded a bit panicky.

"You want to stop? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm okay…….I think! Just took me by surprise! Just stay still for a minute. Let me get used to it."

Slowly my bum muscles began to relax and it started to feel a bit more comfortable.

"Slow ahead, just take it gently."

Little bit by little bit Jus entered me. No pain now, just a feeling of fullness and then the news I wanted to hear, his words barely audible.

"Alex? That's all of me! What do I do now?"

"Do whatever you want but just take it easy. Don't worry, you're not hurting me at all!"

Gently and slowly he withdrew before sliding back up inside me, then repeating the procedure, all the time hugging me and planting kisses all over my shoulders.

"Go a bit faster Jus. It's okay, it feels really good!"

Picking up the tempo he really started to piston into me and then

"Holy SHIT! Oh YESSS! Oh fuck Jus? Don't stop doing whatever it is you're doing! Oh sweet Jesus that feels wonderful! Oh more, I want more!!! Give me MORE!!......Oh Noooo! I'm so sorry, I'm going to cum!!" and with that I went into spasm. This time I really did think I was pissing the bed. My bum clamped around Jus's dick as he was on a downstroke causing him to yelp and then like a film clip in freeze-frame, he clung onto me, dug his fingers into me and gave up the fight, flooding my insides in the process.


We lay together not saying a word, just trying to regain a level of composure for what seemed like forever but probably only about five minutes or so.

Is it possible that kindred spirits can communicate on a higher plain?

I now hold the chair as Professor of Physics at Oxford University and so my scientific background doesn't sit easily with religious beliefs, none of them being based on what I would term as 'solid, irrefutable evidence' but this I will concede, there is much we don't understand which might just be seen as 'spiritual' if not proving the existence of a deity because as we lay in our post-orgasmic haze we both and in unison shouted "WOW" as if reading each other's thoughts!

"Are you feeling alright Alex? I mean………….. you know?"

"No it's hateful!"

"Oh please noooo!"

"Joke already! Hateful it's over! I have never felt so fulfilled, happy, content and loved as I do right now!

That was simply amazing! Are you alright?"

"It was beautiful! It seemed as if a warm velvet glove was enveloping me. I was desperately trying to control myself but it was too much when you came! I couldn't not let go!

What caused all your shouting? Oh and you did shout………….sorry!"

"Damn! Now the whole world will know!!

You upped the tempo and started to hit that thing inside me, remember the finger thing? It was just continuous and I lost it. God knows what the state of the towel is!!

You're still hard and inside me! You thinking of going again?!"

"I don't want to pull out. We've just properly made love for the first time and I want to live the moment but to be truthful, I'm rather sore! Can we just stay like this for a while?"

"For as long as you want. Just hold me?"

The last thing I remember of that night was jus pulling tight into me. I squeezed my bum cheeks together making him giggle, then my world went blank.


The following morning I woke and knew we hadn't moved. Jus was still inside me if slightly softer.

I couldn't believe he'd stayed in me for what was the better part of eight hours but I wasn't about to complain! It felt wonderful and whilst I didn't know it at the time, I had found my life partner but hanging onto him was going to be a very difficult and upsetting ride.

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