Loneliness

by Andrew Foote

Chapter 12

I was totally zonked!

The adrenalin rush I'd experienced meant that I barely remember going to bed that night but my damn body-clock woke me at my usual time of 6.00am.

I considered going for my usual swim but the draw of staying in bed with my Justin was of far greater importance. This, after all, was going to be the last morning we would be able to wake up together for a while and swimming was something I could do anytime.

Without needing to wake him, I eased myself up on to my elbow so I could watch my boyfriend sleeping and oh my God, he looked so beautiful! His lithe, tight body was a sight to behold. Not an ounce of fat on him, just vaguely muscular, tanned apart from his waistline, hairless aside from a small growth of pubic hair around his uncut cock.

I swear there was nothing I could not like about him both physically and his character traits.

He wasn't 'big' in the accepted sense of the word, just perfect in every way to my eyes. I was looking at the person who, not nine hours earlier had taken me to the most life-changing experience of my young life.

I truly loved him and I could feel the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks, not of sadness but of pure love.

I wrenched my eyes away and climbed out of bed to put a light under the kettle, aware that I could be in danger of a full-blown cry which neither of us needed. We needed to be focused and strong.

I'd just finished brewing the tea when Jus appeared from the bedroom making a dash for the toilet, swatting me on the arse as he passed!

"Morning my lover! Not swimming this morning?"

"Nah! Miss the show? You must be joking!!"

"Show? What show! Ahh no! I wasn't sporting a stiffie was I?"

"No you were just beautiful actually!"

"Don't you mean hansom Alex?"

"No I think you really are beautiful. Sorry if you don't like it."

Jus emerged from the shower room.

"Not a hunk or a super-stud then?"

"Not to me you're not. I love you and you're just………perfectly wonderful. Now shutup before I start crying. Drink your tea and let's get this boat squared away damn you!!!"


Three hours later, 'Spook' looked amazing!

Yes she had only recently been refitted but Jus and I pulled out all the stops to be sure everything was cleaned and polished.

Mum took me up to the house together with our washing and taught me how to use the automatic clothes washer thus ridding the boat of the inevitable smell of 'boys' like sweaty feet and sex! We swam most mornings and showered every night but it isn't possible to be clear of the scent of adolescence no matter how hard you try so I was suitably grateful!

Dad had long since left for the airport so all that was left to do was wait.

I could well understand why Jus was like a cat on a hot tin roof but why was I so jittery.

Mum, obviously noticing our unease sat us down and gave us a pep talk.

"These are your parents Justin, not a pair of complete strangers so why so nervous?"

"It's hard to explain Kaz. I don't think I realised it before but now I feel as if I hardly know them.

I had become used to only seeing them for a couple of weeks over Christmas, it was normal but now I don't know. I think this last month being around, almost a part of a normal family has made me see what I've been missing.

Of course I love being with Alex but it isn't just that, it's everything I've discovered this summer. How much I really love Grandfather and Grandmother, you and Tim, home schooling, just this way of life. I know now what I want and Down House or for that matter any other school isn't a part of it. I don't want to go back to the way things were."

"That's a very sweet thing to say and just so as you know, both Tim and I see you like a second son and of course you know how Alexis feels about you and no matter where you are isn't going to change anything in that regard. Even worst case scenario, your parents insisting you return to Down House, please don't believe that we won't rescue you at every possible opportunity be that weekends, Bank Holidays, school holidays or whenever. We will none of us allow you to suffer the way you have in the past, okay?"

"You've talked this through with my Grandparents?"

"Yes. We've discussed and have plans in place that we hope covers every eventuality. So how do you feel about seeing your folks now?"

Jus grinned.

"Much better. Thanks Kaz!"

Mum looked at me.

"And you son. How do you feel?"

"Apprehensive Mum."

"No bad thing. We can't have you going around all relaxed and cock-sure believing it isn't a big deal because it is a big deal. I've no idea what ruse Lady Eleanor used to bring them over to England but whatever it was must have had a considerable impact on them so just be yourself. If you're nervous, don't be afraid of it showing. You're young and they will expect you to be. Just no gobbing off!"

"Oh c'mon Mum?"

"Okay maybe that was a bit unfair. I do trust you enough not to go saying anything out of turn but you do understand what I'm trying to say, don't you?"

"Yes I do and it's cool."

"I notice the car is back which means your parents are here Justin."

"Oh God. Do you think I should go up to the house?"

Mum gave Jus a sly smile.

"Actually I think we should sit down and have a cup of tea and pretend we hadn't noticed! Let them come and find us!"


I think my Dad can smell tea from 100 yards as no sooner had the pot been placed on the table he appeared through the stern hatch.

"Oh great! Tea! Just what the doctor ordered."

Mum looked at him quizzically.

"Well then you'd better fetch another cup hadn't you? So what's with the high spirits then?"

"Nothing special. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the journey was good and Justin, your folks seem like really nice people and not at all how I'd pictured them."

Jus let out an audible sigh of relief.

"They…….they seemed okay then?"

"Yeah they seemed fine. I had thought that perhaps they'd just raise the partition between themselves and I, you know, just treat me as the chauffeur but not a bit of it. They were very chatty, very pleasant people."

Mum poured the tea.

"Well darling, you could always charm the birds from the sky."

"No that's a job for Alexis. He's got a PhD in 'charm'. Me? I still haven't got an 'A' level."

"Don't you go encouraging him! I've already warned him about being gobby!"

Jus giggled.

"Do they want me to go up to the house Tim?"

"No I don't think so mate, at least not just now. They're all four of them sitting down having a talk. It's probably as well for them to get the first salvos of the battle out of the way first. They know where you are and that you're not about to skip the country. My guess is they'll come and find you when the time is right.

Why don't you boys finish your tea and go and fetch the dogs. They must be missing you and their walks?"

"But Dad? We can't take them out. What if Jus's parents come looking for him?"

"I wasn't suggesting you took them 'out' out, just maybe have a game of ball on the lawn to work off some of their energy. Anyway it'll give you something to do rather than slobbing about here for the duration and also we did tell you both to try and keep things as normal as possible and this time of day, that's what you would be doing?"


We wandered up to the house to be bombarded by four over-enthusiastic dogs not realising that our every move was being watched.

After managing to get the dogs to finally calm down, we walked them back down onto the lawn where Jus produced two solid rubber balls. We'd tried tennis balls but these bounced better and were teeth-proof.

Naturally the dogs went crazy and the game begun.

Jus had one of the balls and me the other and standing some twenty feet apart we'd throw them to each other like a juggling act, the dogs watching like hawks until one or other of us missed a catch and then they'd take off like rockets to retrieve the dropped ball. Good for their concentration and also good exercise.


Back in the house, Sir George, Lady Eleanor and Jus's parents watched us with some interest.

"So that's the Greening boy is it? Not sure I approve of his haircut or should I say 'the lack of it'!"

Lady Eleanor looked at her son in law with reproach.

"The 'Greening boy' as you refer to him Gerald, has a name. That name is Alexis and he is one of the most polite and well behaved children I have ever met and as I've already told you, he has been a Godsend so far as Justin is concerned and it might be wise to modify your attitude!"

"I do believe I have a right to express myself when it comes to who may or may not fraternise with my son?"

Sir George went on the offensive.

"Indeed you do my boy but won't you just look at him for a moment?

When was the last time you saw Justin so very happy?

You once told me about the torrid time you had at school and how much you wished you could be somewhere else. I realise that time dulls the memory, the pain forgotten but cast your mind back to those days and ask yourself a question. Do you really want your own son to suffer the way you did?"

"He'll grow through it. Mature as a better person."

"You haven't answered my question. Is this torment what you want for your own flesh and blood?"

"No of course it isn't!

Damn it though, he did bring it upon himself didn't he? What else am I supposed to do other than for him to continue to learn that what he got up to isn't socially acceptable?"

"You are getting to the point where you leave few options open to me Gerald. Be wise and think carefully before you go making serious errors of judgement, you may well regret them"

"You're threatening me? Am I right?"

"No, no! I never make threats. Just a cautionary reminder for you to carefully think about things before coming to any hasty conclusions. Like the balls those youngsters are playing with out there with the dogs, they might well bounce back to hit you where it hurts the most if you do not."

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